Laughter - Good Medicine

[Shammu]

A LOR Ring chant

Nine megs for the secretaries fair,
Seven megs for the hackers scarce,
Five megs for the grads in smoky lairs,
Three megs for system source;

One disk to rule them all,
One disk to bind them,
One disk to hold the files
And in the darkness grind 'em.

[Shammu]

Grundig blaupunkt luger frug
Watusi snarf wazoo!
Nixon dirksen nasahist
Rebozo boogaloo.

Inscription in black language
from the "Bored of the rings"

[Shammu]

Anopther LOR chant

The Internet

Three Nets for the Stanford Nethax
under the Quad,
Seven for the MIT Hackers
in their halls of stone,
Nine for Crays doomed to die,
One for NIC on its dark DECSYSTEM-2060
In the LANs of SRI
where the shadows lie.
One Internet to rule them all,
One Internet to find them,
One Internet to bring them all
and in the ether bind them
In the LANs of SRI
where the shadows lie.

[Shammu]

A slightly more modern version

Three servers for Athena,
which now runs MIT,
Nine for BARRNet,
doomed to plunge into the Sea
Seven for Rutgers & JvNCNet,
always a luse,
One for the NIC,
to do whatever they choose.
One server to rule them,
one server to find them,
One server to run them all,
and with %HOSTADDR bind them,
In the land of Mordor
where the shadows lie.

[nChrist]

   Donut - What donut? That's not granulated sugar on my lip.

Thanks for the laughs.

[Shammu]

 Donut - What donut? That's not granulated sugar on my lip.

Thanks for the laughs.

With the week you have had, I think you needed the laughs.

[Shammu]

A few groaners for tonight, I'm bored.

Jesus said: “Love thy neighbor.”  (Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: “Don't be cruel.” (RCA, 1956)

Jesus is the Lord's shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Elvis' first band was a trio.

Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 “comeback” TV special.

[Shammu]

Jesus said, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and
drink.”(John 7:37)
Elvis said, “Drinks on me!” (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for
breakfast)

Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January

Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers.
(The Gospel According to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers.
(Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

“[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow.”(Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightening bolts.

[Shammu]

Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate
Conception High School.

Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still
considered to be his foremost recordings.

Jesus' Father is everywhere.
Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis' favorite high school class was wood shop.

[Shammu]

"John Kerry told Tom Ridge he was too busy to receive a Homeland Security briefing. I thought that was odd, since you're not supposed to ignore terrorist threats until after you become president." —David Letterman

"There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'" —Craig Kilborn

[Shammu]

Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.

Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
Elvis Presley has 12 letters.

Jesus said: “Man shall not live by bread alone."
Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

[Shammu]

"John Kerry suspended his campaign for five days this week in honor of President Reagan. And right now, he's ahead in the polls. How's that make him feel? Disappears for a week and he's up in the polls. What else can he do now but go into hiding." —Jay Leno

"'Shrek 2' made over $120 million during its first week. In a related story, John Kerry asked Shrek to marry him." —Conan O'Brien

"John Kerry met with Ralph Nader last week. Both sides of every issue were discussed. And then, Nader spoke." —Jay Leno

[Shammu]

The new John Kerry Bill.


"This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message — if I have one.'" —Craig Kilborn

"John Kerry and Ralph Nader met face-to-face, it was a historic meeting. Astronomers said today their meeting actually created what is called a 'charisma black hole.'" —Jay Leno

[Shammu]

"Gas prices are up, the stock market is down, Iraq is a mess and John Kerry is saying, 'How am I gonna beat this guy?" —David Letterman

"Bill Clinton has a brand new book coming out and the Democrats are worried that the Clinton book might upstage the Kerry campaign. I'm thinking, h***, day-old meat loaf could upstage that campaign." —David Letterman

"The campaign for the White House is heating up with John Kerry taking heat for throwing his Vietnam medals away, getting a $1000 haircut, and wearing a 1970s wig known as 'the Leno.' There are really two sides to this story. And America can't wait for Kerry to present both of them." —David Letterman

[Shammu]

"President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.' " —Craig Kilborn

"The prisoner scandal is yet another election year problem for President Bush. And, with the economy still struggling, combat operations in Iraq dragging on, and the 9-11 hearings revealing damning information, even an opponent of limited political skill should be able to capitalize on those problems. The Democrats, however, chose to nominate John Kerry." —Jon Stewart

"Insiders have begun voicing serious concerns about how he's conducting his campaign. One aide told the New York Times that while Bush's message of 'steady leadership' has remained consistent, Kerry has gone through six different messages in the 18 months he's been running, including, at one particularly desperate juncture, 'Kerry: Health care jobs for the troops' environment.'" —Jon Stewart