Very Toubled

[nChrist]

Oklahoma Howdy to Peachykeen,

Sister, it really made me happy to read your post. I give thanks for what God is doing in your life. I really enjoyed your testimony and look forward to MORE.

I think that you may have discovered a huge TRUTH: Jesus is always with us. We sometimes listen more to the clutter and noise of this world when Jesus wants us to get quiet and listen to HIM. It is then that we find peace and "much more" grace, grace that is much more than sufficient for all our needs. I give thanks for your improvement and will continue to pray for you every day. Please do keep us posted. It is a real joy to hear about what God is doing in the lives of our young people.

Love In Christ,
Tom

[Willowbirch]

  Peachy, I am so glad you have found comfort! May God continue to draw you near to Him as you seek to live out your goals through Him to become a Godly woman! Please remember that your love for Him (and His for you) does not end when it seems you've lost a "happy place"; our feelings and emotions are so fragile, yet they can steer us if we let them. God has always had a plan for your life, even when you think everything has crash-landed. Still prayin' for you! ((((Hugs from Michigan))))))

[peachykeen]

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart for all of the prayers and advice and patience you all have had with me.  This has really been a light in dark places, and probobly the only thing that kept giving me faith.  I'm still growing and I know I'll never stop, but I'm loving the change.  And now that I look back on all that horrible, horrible testing, the testing I'm still going through today, I realize I wouldn't change a thing.  It's still hard, I still cry and fuss a lot, and to put it lightly, lets just say I don't exacally hop out of bed full of energy, and health, and life.  I'm still feeling physically sick.  But not emotionally.  Spiritually, I feel fruitful again, and clean, mature, and free.  

It still hurts, don't get me wrong, but I'm glad for the pain.  I'm happy for it.  Its a burden I'm willing to carry.  A burden that I know God's gonna help me carry, and even carry for me most of the time.  This is gonna sound weird-but I'm glad I'm suffering.  I love the fact that I can wake up knowing that God is turning me into something beautiful.  But then again, doesn't mean I don't wake up and groan and moan too.  God's gonna help me thro this, isn't he?  I know he is.  Thats the best feeling right there.

Merry christmas  

[nChrist]

Oklahoma Howdy to Peachkeen,

I can see from your post that you are growing stronger in the Lord, Jesus Christ. Yes, God will help you through this. Pray, seek His will, and let Him guide you on the path He wants for you. There is peace and joy when you yield to His will and purpose. Many of us pray for you every day.

Love In Christ,
Tom

[Willowbirch]

Oklahoma Howdy to Peachkeen,

I can see from your post that you are growing stronger in the Lord, Jesus Christ. Yes, God will help you through this. Pray, seek His will, and let Him guide you on the path He wants for you. There is peace and joy when you yield to His will and purpose. Many of us pray for you every day.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Amen!

[broken1]

How are you feeling now I saw your post just recently and you have the same nickname as my teenage daughter. Gave me a scare I thought it was her.  I hope you are feeling better. will be praying.

[Symphony]

   

[peachykeen]

God has been SO good to me the past couple of weeks.  He has been teaching me so much, making me humble and selfless, and really just healing all of the pain I caused myself inside.  In a way, I know I'll always have those scars inside of me.  I'll never forget how alone I felt.  But another part of me knows that what I felt was nothing compaired to what it felt like for Jesus.  I'm begining to really, truly be thankful of those scars.  Its like proof that I've gone onto a battlefield and refused to give up until my enemy was defeated.  And I was never alone.  While God continues to test me (as he does everyone), I am begining to love the tests.  Change is a good thing, it brings new horizons and growth.  And as Frodo Baggins says, "there is no going back."  There will be many more low points in my life, I know.  Times I want to despair and give up and wallow.  But there is always God, and somehow you will find strength.  I am finding more and more strength each day, and I honestley don't know where its coming from (meaning definatley not my own personal strength).  We're still toying with the idea of Fibromyalgia consdiering the symptoms are only getting worse, but I'm not unhappy with it anymore.  Thank you, truly for your prayers and support.  They're working  .

[Whitehorse]

What a beautiful post, Peachy! It's inspiring me, too! What an encouragement, and thank you for sharing it.

By the way, if it is Fibro, I have it, too. It can be taken care of. Do you have the Fibromyalgia Cookbook? That can help. Also, take selenium, zinc, and potassium, and it's really important to stay hydrated. Drink a lot of water, and drink it slowly ebnough that your body can absorb it. Maybe the symptoms will go away. I have more materials, too. If you want them, I can get the info for you.

Blessings,
Whitehorse

[Willowbirch]

What a beautiful post, Peachy! It's inspiring me, too! What an encouragement, and thank you for sharing it.

By the way, if it is Fibro, I have it, too. It can be taken care of. Do you have the Fibromyalgia Cookbook? That can help. Also, take selenium, zinc, and potassium, and it's really important to stay hydrated. Drink a lot of water, and drink it slowly ebnough that your body can absorb it. Maybe the symptoms will go away. I have more materials, too. If you want them, I can get the info for you.

Blessings,
Whitehorse

Thanks for the information, Whitehorse!

Peachy, I'm sure you've heard this; but I have read that people with Depression can have pain and/or illnesses that are very real but cannot be verified by modern medicine. Hopefully you will find something to help your physical needs, and praise God that you are drawing near to Him! There is no sweeter experience!

[Jeeper]

Peachy my thoughts and prayers are definetly with you.  I have to tell you that you are a great inspiration to young people out there in the world like myself.  You have made me realize even more than when the world lets you down and feel you can't go on God carrys you on.  God will never leave your side so Thank You so much for helping us all realize this.  God Bless You!!!!

[peachykeen]

hello all, i hope you are all doing well, my thankfulness has not decreaced for all your prayers.  Sorry this is a long one.  

I know its so hard to stand any more bad news, but thats exacally what I've gotten in the past two weeks--bad news.  Heres the good part:
We think we know what is making me sick.  
There is a toxin called mycotoxin (i think thats what its called) that is one of the most toxic substances in the world.  While it is released from a lot of things, one of the most common things is black mold.  Living in Texas is practically living in a swamp, and consequentley, there is black mold all over my house.  
The good news is, medicine can treat my symptoms and my family and I will move out and I can get to feeling like myself in a year to two years.  
Heres the bad news:
i've been breathing in the toxin long enough for some really serious effects to start taking place.  One, it explains all my symptoms: exhaustion, muscle pains, headaches, and low blood pressure.  The toxin was literally aging my body, attacking my muscles, making my brain swell, causing the headaches.  However, theres a couple more symptoms or reactions too.  The toxin is also attacking my pancreas, which explains my hypoglycemia (I've eaten pretty well all my life, it seemed peculiar that I should get it, out of all my friends).  However, it's very likely to turn into type II diabeties, even if I do all that I can to prevent it.  The toxin also could have really screwed up my thyroid and even ruined my petuitary gland which starts the thyroid process.  Also, now that I've been exposed, I'm at a higher risk of getting cancer, and since I've been around it for so long, its a very real possibility.  Basically, in a sentance, I've been dying for a very long time.  Just like I might have said in earlier posts "I feel like I'm dying" and I really am.  I'm out of my house now and staying with a friend, but its a terrible feeling to think that I have no real home to go to.  I can't take a lot of things with me except what is cotton, plastic, or wood, and a lot of my stuff I will probobly have to loose.  My conentration problems and depression can also be explained.  My brain has been attacked with this resulting in some form of ADD, OCD, and post traumatic stress syndrome.  My doctor described it as this: When I would have a panic attack, I would go into a flight or flight reaction, for example: if a dinosaur were about to eat you, you would either stay and fight it or run away like the Monty Python boys.  However, since I could not see what I was fighting, I became kind of traumatized because I would have doctors telling me I was crazy and it was all in my head.  My body, on the other hand, would not respond possitivley to their medication because the problem was still there.  One doctor actually put me on an anti-psycotic and told me not to gt too stressed, like I was crazy.  Lots of nights I would tell my parents "I need to get out of the house," for an unexplained reason.  I would just have impulses to go for late night walks.  Needless to say it freaked out my parents, but it really was my body telling me what was wrong, or entering the flight stage.  

We're checking my petuitary/thyroid problem now, and expiramenting with different medications.  Heres what I'm really worried about:

If they find a serious mold problem in our home, it can be 400,000 dollars to decontaminate it if its bad enough.  Home Owners Insurance doesn't cover any form of mold in Texas, and we don't have that kind of money.  We'd probobly end up tearing down the home I've spent my whole life in and half the things we own, decontaminate the dirt, and sell the plot, and move into an apartment until I finish high school.  However, the mold could be at my high school too, so switching schools could also be in the works.  If so, we'd probobly leave the state and move somewhere on the east coast and I'd never get to see my church or school friends.  Right now, however, my parents and doctor are trying to pull me out of school for the rest of the semester.  The last thing I want is to be a sophmore again next year.  Not when I've been trying so hard this year.  Somedays I can't even stand up, and I shake so hard I can barely type, write, or drink a glass of water.  Other days I'm just slightly tierd.  Either way, my doc wants me free of stress and wants time to expirament with medications that will treat the symptoms I have and test for more.  Missing school really scares me tho.  Teenagers my age arn't really concerned why your sick, but love poking fun at you if you are.  Will I loose my friends since I'll only see them for two days (at most) a week?  What about my education?It's great to have a solution, but its like God's saying "okay, you can get better now...at the cost of your home, your clothes, your friends, your flute, and your school."  I know material things, like homes, shouldn't matter, because Jesus never had a home and God always provided for him.  But I'm still a kid.  I'm not ready to set off on my own missionary.  I just want to graduate with the class of 06' and have my own bed to sleep in.  I was prepared to give anything for an answer, and it feels like now, I really am giving everything.  I'm so frustrated with God right now because I feel like I've been tested enough.  Give me a break already, I'm 15!!!  I'm not ready to be treated like I'm 50. I know this is "going to turn me into a beautiful person" and "mature my soul" or w/e, but somedays I just need to feel carefree.  I need to jump on my bed, and throw my clothes on my floor, shop with my friends, suffer through algebra tests, all without having to worry if I'm gonna pass out or mess up the home I'm staying at.  All the other kids at my school are deciding things like: escalade or navigator?  OU or LSU? drugs or no drugs?  braids or ponytail?  musician or author?  chemistry test or spanish project?  I hate to sound so immature but it's not fair that I have to decide stuff like: stay in school or miss half a year?  do my laundry or make my lunch?  angry with god or accept it?  It's just like getting lukemia, I'm finding a new problem everyday, feeling worse and worse, not responding to the medication, and quite literally dying slowly.  

sigh.......i'm sorry
That was a lot of rambling but i really needed to get it out.  i should be selfless and trusting god, right?  Have you ever just reached a point where you don't want to anymore?  I know God will deliver me.  I nkow this is all in his great plan and that if I keep fighting it, he'll reward me spiritually.  But a lot of days I just don't see why it has to be the best part of my life and why it has to hurt so bad.  I'll understand in time, but man...It hurts now.

I could use all the prayers or advice you've got!  Thanks for reading!!!

[DovesWings]

Hi there...
First off...I'm glad they at least KNOW the cause of all your problems!!!  Now, at least you can be on the path of fixing up your body and healing.
My prayers are with you...I can't even comprehend what it must be like to be 15 and to be going through all that.  My heart and prayers go out to you!!!

God bless!!!

[Willowbirch]

Oh, no!   Mold can be so dangerous! I saw a news program on the television that dealt with a problem like this; the family was getting horribly sick and depressed, and no one knew what was wrong...then a home inspector looked through their house, and found deadly mold growing almost everywhere inside the walls...the family was immediately evacuated, the local authorities wouldn't allow them to stay there any longer. The entire inside of the house had to be torn apart and rebuilt...praying, Peachy! This reminds me of some of the laws found in Leviticus concerning mold, and how the entire home would be found "unclean" if certain growths were found in the walls and didn't go away...

[nChrist]

Oklahoma Howdy to PeachyKeen,

I will continue to pray for you and your family. It is a blessing to have found the problem. I'm praying since it hasn't made everyone in the family sick yet that they found it in time to make all of the health problems reversible. Taking some time off to let your body heal and giving the doctor opportunities to give you the best treatment sounds very intelligent.

I know this is hard, but I pray that you will concentrate all of your effort in getting well, doing what the doctor tells you, and spending some extra time in worship and prayer. Only God knows, but maybe you will be back to school in the fall, completely normal and healthy.

We'll be praying for you.

Love In Christ,
Tom