CHRISTIAN JOKES/ NOT FOR PHARISEES

[Reba]

SHEESH

[BUTCHA]

SHEESH

double SHEESH

[JudgeNot]

double SHEESH

triple SHEESH

[Brother Love]

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

[JudgeNot]

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I use the Men's room.  Does that make me a man?  

[Brother Love]

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I use the Men's room.  Does that make me a man?  

[Brother Love]

WARNING: Exposure to the Son will prevent burning.

[Symphony]

 





Actually, as a matter of fact, I never have decided which is worse, to be a baptist, or a catholic.

   

       




(symphony in beeg heep twouble now.  )


         

[Brother Love]

 





Actually, as a matter of fact, I never have decided which is worse, to be a baptist, or a catholic.

   

       




(symphony in beeg heep twouble now.  )


         

 


Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.

[Brother Love]

Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.

[Brother Love]

Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

[Brother Love]

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.

Finally, she leaned over to her mother and hispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

[Brother Love]

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles
a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The  third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"  

[Brother Love]

pedestrians AND Catholics  

The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross.  A cop was directing traffic.  Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!"

The swelling throng surged across Broadway -- all except the blonde, who stayed on the corner.

When the walkers were safely on the other side of the street, the cop moved the cross-traffic through the intersection.

Half a minute later, he stopped the cars on Broadway and sent the 72nd Street traffic into motion.  Again, he got around to the blonde's corner, where by this time she had again been joined by a crowd of people.  Tweeeeeeeet!  "Okay, pedestrians!"

The crowd crossed the street, but again the blonde stayed put.

She looked at her watch and tapped her foot as if she was in a hurry to get somewhere, but never budged from the sidewalk.  The cop ran the traffic through seven more cycles, each time blowing his whistle and then yelling "Okay, pedestrians!"  The blonde never moved.

Finally, after the cop yelled "Okay, pedestrians!" for the eighth time, the blonde shouted across traffic, "Yo!  Officer!  Isn't it about time you let the Catholics cross?"

[Brother Love]

PROOF OF GOD

  An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told   the class that he was going to prove that there was not a God. He said,   "God if You are real, then I want You to knock me off this platform.

I'll give you 15 minutes!"

Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am   God, I'm still waiting" He got down to the last couple of minutes and a BIG 240 pound football player happened to walk by the door and heard what the professor said.

The football player walked in the class room and in the last
minute, he walked up, hit the professor full force, and sent him flying off the platform. The professor got up, obviously shaken and said, ...

  "Where did you come from , And why did you do that?"  The football player replied, " God was busy; He sent me!"


  A smile goes a long way towards happiness