BULL

[nChrist]

Wisdom:

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands....

Attempt to get a new car for your spouse....it'll be a great trade!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Everybody repeat after me...."We are all individuals."

Death to all fanatics!

Don't be sexist; broads hate that!

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked in jet engines.

Borrow money from pessimists....they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

[nChrist]

Questions:

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What is one nice thing about egotists? They don't talk about other people.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

[Brother Love]

blackeyedpeas, all of them get  

I Love You Brother


Brother Love

[Ambassador4Christ]

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass
of Home.'"
"That sounds like the Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
 

[Ambassador4Christ]

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for
him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then
checks his teeth.
Finally, he says I'm going to have to put him down."
"Why?, Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"  

[Brother Love]

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass
of Home.'"
"That sounds like the Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
 

LOL

Brother Love

[Ambassador4Christ]

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass
of Home.'"
"That sounds like the Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
 

LOL

Brother Love

 

[Ambassador4Christ]

British courtesy

An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up.

"Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked.

"I'm sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta take a leak."

"You can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me."

The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the policeman, "whiz away."

The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started
gotcha6  on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning
toward the  officer, he said, "This is very nice of you.
Is this British courtesy?"
"No," retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."



 

[nChrist]

I was thinking:

I was thinking about how the status symbols of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door opener.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust"

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.

[Forrest]

I was thinking:

I was thinking about how the status symbols of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door opener.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust"

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.

    BEP;
  The thing is eventho the BIBLE has the answers most don't belive, even with the answer right before their eyes.

[nChrist]

   BEP;
  The thing is eventho the BIBLE has the answers most don't belive, even with the answer right before their eyes.

My Aunt sent me this. Bless her sweet heart; all of the answers she needs are in the Holy Bible. I'm still learning, and I never cease to be amazed that I can get something new from the same portion of Scripture, regardless of how many times I read it. I am learning that all of the answers I need are in the WORD.

In Christ.

[Forrest]

                        AMEN
  We all are constintly learning from GODS Word every day.

[Ambassador4Christ]

   BEP;
  The thing is eventho the BIBLE has the answers most don't belive, even with the answer right before their eyes.

My Aunt sent me this. Bless her sweet heart; all of the answers she needs are in the Holy Bible. I'm still learning, and I never cease to be amazed that I can get something new from the same portion of Scripture, regardless of how many times I read it. I am learning that all of the answers I need are in the WORD.

In Christ.

DITTO

[Forrest]

New billboards are getting attention in parts of the U.S. Some reported
seeing one or two messages, but the newspaper listed all of them. Here's
a list of all variations of the "God Speaks" billboards. The billboards
are a simple black background with white text. No fine print or
sponsoring organization is included. These are awesome ... enjoy.
--------------------------------------
Tell the kids I love them.
-God
-----------------------------------------
Let's meet at my house Sunday
before the game.
-God
---------------------------------------
C'mon over and bring the kids.
-God
----------------------------------------
What part of "Thou Shalt Not..."
didn't you understand?
-God
---------------------------------------
We need to talk.
-God
--------------------------------------
Keep using my name in vain,
I'll make rush hour longer.
-God
---------------------------------------
Loved the wedding,
invite me to the marriage.
-God
----------------------------------------
That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing...
I meant it.
-God
-----------------------------------------
I love you and you
and you and you and...
-God
---------------------------------------
Will the road you're on
get you to my place?
-God
---------------------------------------
Follow me.
-God
---------------------------------------
Big bang theory,
you've got to be kidding.
-God
---------------------------------------
My way is the highway.
-God
---------------------------------------
Need directions?
-God
---------------------------------------
You think it's hot here?
-God
-----------------------------------------
Have you read my #1 best seller?
There will be a test.
-God
---------------------------------------
Do you have any idea
where you're going?
-God
----------------------------------------------
(And my personal favorite...)
Don't make me come down there.
-God
---------------------------------------

[Ambassador4Christ]

Thanks Forrest, another good one