Could you pray for me?

[Terri]

Hi Broken,

If you are so concerned about others wanting to cut, than why have the links on your website? You may not have put them there but you gave someone permission to add to your webpage. You are the designer of your website so if you are so concerned about others seeing your site and viewing those pictures why not remove the links from your site? That's what someone who is really concerned would do.

In your website there is an area Self Injury/ Depression is there not?  Click on self injury/ depression. Than click on SI and body art. Once on that page of your website you have links on your website to Sacrification Experience, click on sacrification experience and you will see  photos of people who have cut tatoos into their skin with scalpels, razors, ect. These are all accessed through your website. So what are you talking about, it is a part of your website.

You say the self injury is a short term solution. I don't understand. Solution to what your problems? We all have problems but we don't go around cutting and mutilating our self over them.

I am sorry I really don't understand where you are coming from. Why do you hate yourself so much? That is the only explanation I can find for someone to do such a thing to their body.

I am still praying for you Broken I really pray God touches your heart!!!!!!
                          In Gods Love   Terri

[Forrest]

         Terry;

Forrest,

Yes, the atonement, and that sort of thing. The trouble is that at various times, Jesus, and all He stands for, seems just words without real meaning or effect. Thats part of the problem. Well, that and the fact that I've always been more drawn to the OT than the New (maybe I should become Jewish  ) even though I do try to believe what the New Testament says about God and Christ.

     I know many do not realise but Christ was a desendet of King David, Moses, He was Jewish, and so were all the founding Fathers of the faith, the Christian faith is Jewish in origin.  
   

[Terri]

Hi Broken,

Thanks for the personal Email. The website you provided was great. That Christian website, was all about helping people with this problem. Wether they are Christians or not it will give hope to people with this problem.

I still think you might want to check out your website, because I don't feel it offers the same help as the website you personal emailed me. And you might want to do away with the photos of people, with tatoos cut into their selfs. I just don't think that will help anyone going through what you are going through, if anything it will encourage people to cut more. Or make them believe that this is okay behavior.

You said it your self  you stay away from your website when you are feeling good. So you know in your heart your website can trigger negative emotions in even your self.  So why not use your experience with this and reach out to others(through your website) in a positive way,and in return I bet it will help you as well.

Well, I hope you get what I am saying, I am not trying to attack you at all! I really want to help you, and I pray that is what I am doing. I don't know you, only throught this computer, but you have touched me, and I am very concerned about you. Your in my prayers!!!!!!!!
                God Bless you    Terri

[Broken]

Ah, I get you now Terri
You had me really confused there! Its an external link about cosmetic scarification, to the only site I could find which even discusses the possible link between self-injury and body art. Its not quite my choice of site to view, but I thought it was a useful link. There is a warning about the pictures on there (though I haven't seen any ones of Jesus or of the fish-hooks), but I'll make it a more obvious warning about both pictures and content.

Thanks for the personal Email. The website you provided was great. That Christian website, was all about helping people with this problem. Wether they are Christians or not it will give hope to people with this problem.

I like it too Though there are a number of other websites I'm also keen on. There's one called Self-Injury: A Struggle (http://www.self-injury.net) which I like, but mostly because the site has a lot of expressions from people who SI.

The Christian site, btw, for the others here, is called the Lysamena Project on Self-Injury and the URL is http://www.self-injury.org

I still think you might want to check out your website, because I don't feel it offers the same help as the website you personal emailed me.

Hmm, you may well be right there. The stuff on my site is mostly a summary of a book about SI, and that book isn't a self-help book so much as a book for psychiatrists. I can add some things which might be a bit more helpful than a discussion of medication!

You said it your self  you stay away from your website when you are feeling good. So you know in your heart your website can trigger negative emotions in even your self.

Well, thats mostly because I'm not in a "normal" state at the moment, so its easy for me to get depressed by things I read or see, so when I am feeling good (which isn't terribly often), I try not to break that feeling

You say the self injury is a short term solution. I don't understand. Solution to what your problems? We all have problems but we don't go around cutting and mutilating our self over them.

I am sorry I really don't understand where you are coming from. Why do you hate yourself so much? That is the only explanation I can find for someone to do such a thing to their body.

Well, there are a lot of reasons why people cut. Some of it does come from self-hate, which I have to admit to having. Sometimes its to stop disassociating, feeling like you're in a dream. Its also - for most people, including me - something to stop suicide. Its odd, its like all emotion gets sort of pent up, and its a way to let it out without harming others, and its a way to release some of the tension of suicidal thoughts without actually going so far as to kill myself. Thats what I mean about it being a short-term solution - obviously not a good one, but the only one I can grab hold of.

Thank you for your prayers

[Terri]

Hi Broken,

I'm soo glade you finially have seen what I'm talking about with your website. Sure hope you can fix it.

Thanks for explanning why you cut or why others cut. It's really hard for someone who doesn't use this form of abuse to understand it.

Broken I really hope you search out Christian help. I pray you have really good doctors, to help you. I don't know why you hate yourself, but know that their are people who Love you!!!!!! God is the main one. I would hope and pray your parents, and friends love you as well!!!!!! Think of all the good things about yourself. Try not to focus on this cutting stuff. Take a vacations from it!!!!! Think of things you enjoy doing or use to enjoy doing before you started this. Reclaim your life.

When I am feeling down or trouble, I take a day for myself. I pamper myself. I take a long hot bath and soak in it till I am a raisen. I put on up lifting music.  I do my best to think of positive things or I try to be greatful for all the wonderful things God has blessed me with. Or I phone my best friend the one and only who can always cheer me up when I down. I surround myself with happy people when I down, and stay away from the negative ones.

Well, Hope and pray today is a good day for you.
                         God Bless you Broken    Terri

[Symphony]

Hi Broken,

IrishAngel here has a really nice website called Shellysplace, with a nice tribute to her brother and a subsection too for the ladies, and children.

If your 'puter plays music, it's really uplifting--each section has its own tune...

I visit it just to listen awhile...

http://www.geocities.com/shellysplace_nb/

[Broken]

I'm soo glade you finially have seen what I'm talking about with your website. Sure hope you can fix it.

Thanks for explanning why you cut or why others cut. It's really hard for someone who doesn't use this form of abuse to understand it.

I've made the warning stronger about those links. I didn't realise it would be offensive - the thing is that self-injurers get sort of used to seeing simple "trigger" signs, and realise what to expect, and I didn't realise that others aren't used to those sort of warnings!

Broken I really hope you search out Christian help. I pray you have really good doctors, to help you.

I have heard of (stated) Christian doctors and counsellors, but I've never actually heard of any practising in the UK. I suppose there probably are some - but I can't afford to get help which isn't paid for by the state. I have enough trouble simply paying for the prescriptions.
I am getting help though, its just that I don't think that seeing a psychiatrist or another doctor by itself can accomplish much. I suspect that the strength to get better comes from within - or from God - rather than simply from doctors or drugs. Thats really why I'm asking for prayers, because if I can regain my faith, if I can really believe again, I can get through anything.

When I am feeling down or trouble, I take a day for myself. I pamper myself. I take a long hot bath and soak in it till I am a raisen. I put on up lifting music.  I do my best to think of positive things or I try to be greatful for all the wonderful things God has blessed me with. Or I phone my best friend the one and only who can always cheer me up when I down. I surround myself with happy people when I down, and stay away from the negative ones.

I do try that - I go out an awful lot now, just to be with people who care for me, and I for them, and not to be so...introverted. But, I live alone, and my flat has a lot of rather negative associations - naturally, as its when I'm alone in here that I've felt the worst, and its here that all the self-injury occurs too. It is a lot harder to get away from yourself when you're alone, though I've been reading a good deal (books have always made me feel better, no matter what they're about), and writing a great deal too.

Well, Hope and pray today is a good day for you.

Actually, today has been better than I've had for some time

Symphony,

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll check out the link

[IrishAngel]

"I suspect that the strength to get better comes from within - or from God - rather than simply from doctors or drugs. Thats really why I'm asking for prayers, because if I can regain my faith, if I can really believe again, I can get through anything."

This statement shows far more faith than I have seen in many who claim to have much faith Broken. The one Great Physician is  able to heal you, body, mind and soul! Keep reaching out to find Him, He`s reaching for you! Whisper His name, that name JESUS, He will answer you, and in Him is everything you need and so much more!

[Terri]

Hi Broken,

Your post was so wonderful to read!!!! You sound soooo full of hope and that is great!!!!! God and hope is what you need to pull you through this.... it sounds like you know that already.

Also it's nice to hear your not alone with this that you have good friends to help you. That is the best thing to not be alone when you feel like hurting yourself.

I had a thought about you today. Maybe God has allowed you to experience this because he wants to use you to help others  with this same problem? He may be calling you to become more spiritual and to walk in his light by his word so you can reach other with this lifestyle?

I sometimes wonder why some people suffer so much and why others who are not Christians have it easy.I know only the Lord knows why. So the only thing that make sense to me is he has allow some to suffer much so they will be able to relate to others who suffer the same and  help them.

If you enjoy reading here is a book that might help you. I just bought it yesterday. I haven't read it yet but it looks really good.  

"Just Enough LIGHT for the Step I'm On" By Stormie Omartian.
                 (Trusting God in the tough Time)
Hope your days continue to be good days, and from here on out just keep getting better for you!!!!
                          God Bless you  Terri

[nChrist]

- From Broken
I am getting help though, its just that I don't think that seeing a psychiatrist or another doctor by itself can accomplish much. I suspect that the strength to get better comes from within - or from God - rather than simply from doctors or drugs. Thats really why I'm asking for prayers, because if I can regain my faith, if I can really believe again, I can get through anything.

Oklahoma Howdy to Broken,

I think you are headed in the right direction. I also firmly believe that Jesus is the best medicine. I can assure you that many are praying for you daily. I can also assure you that Jesus will never leave you or forsake you. You may have stumbled with your faith if you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour. If so, Jesus is still with you with every step. I remember one post from you that mentioned you lost your faith and wanted it back. If you were a child of God, you are still a child of God. This is the beauty and power of the Gospel of God's Grace. When you stumble, Jesus is still with you and will never leave you. Pray for forgiveness, and you will be forgiven as if it never happened. Yield to the Will of God and what He wants you to do with your life. Many Christians describe the Will of God as a voice from the heart about right, wrong, and what you should do. The Holy Spirit lives in your heart. The more you listen to your heart, the greater your fellowship with Jesus. The more you pray and ask for guidance, the greater your fellowship with Jesus. Pray, ask, listen, and obey. Jesus will never tell you to harm yourself.

I pray for you daily and hope you will also pray. I pray that God gives you guidance and peace. I ask these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

[Symphony]

[Broken]

Ah, unfortunately that hopeful note didn't last.
I OD'd last night, and spent the night and today in hospital, hooked up to heart monitoring machines and shaking like someone with the DTs from the drugs. Had to have some long conversations with a psychiatrist, but I was allowed to refuse their offer of a week or two in a mental hospital, and I'm back home now.

[IrishAngel]

Our hope is in Christ Broken, His grace, His forgiveness, His strength, nothing good in ourselves, for if our hope depended on that, we would all perish. Keep looking to God, ask Him to do  for you, what you are not able to do on your own. Welcome back!

Psalms 139:7-16
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me," Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.

[Symphony]

Hi, Broken...

[TigerLily]

am praying for you..
tl