Jest for laughs

[sincereheart]

...over in the men's room... they don't like women in there....


I think they secretly love us, it`s the always being one step behind us that makes them cross  

   We definitely love you. You would be ahead, but you're going the wrong direction.

*sigh* Why do men always think backwards is the right direction?  

[Shylynne]

*sigh* Why do men always think backwards is the right direction?  

oh now why did`nt I think of  that! a man never goes anywheres without getting lost!  

[sincereheart]

LOL! But they never admit to it, of course.....

[Willowbirch]

Pythagorean theorem : 24 Words

The Lord's Prayer : 66 Words

Archimedes' Principle : 67 Words

The 10 Commandments : 179 Words

The Gettysburg Address : 286 Words

The Declaration of Independence : 1,300 Words

The U. S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage : 26,911 Words

(Ahhh...the power of government.)

[Willowbirch]

Subject: The Dachshund


Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat
down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They

would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and
whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.

Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs
in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They
selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and
removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk.

After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world
had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5 " thick and
nobody could
get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up
with a
strange looking animal.

It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because
there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the

Afghanistani dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage,
and slowly waddled over towards Osama's dog.

Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the
American Dachshund---but when it got close enough to bite, the
Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Osama's dog in one bite.

There was nothing left of his dog at all.

Osama came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief, "We don't
understand how this could have happened. We had our best people
working for 5 years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female
dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."

"That's nothing,", said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plastic
surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weiner

dog."

[Shylynne]

~ for sincereheart ~

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked
for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The
judge rose from the bench.

"Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear
before this court."
He smiled with delight.
"Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light'
five hundred times."

oh smart judge LOL  

[Shylynne]

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans
and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.

"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan,
'Come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct
airline.

"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan,
"Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct
credit card company with no difficulty.

"Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?"

And John answered, "Mom."

uh huh!  

[nChrist]

Oklahoma Howdy to All,

   

Why is it that the women have the best jokes?  Thanks - I needed those laughs.

The men will have to work on the quality of their material.  

Love In Christ,
Tom

[Shylynne]

The men will have to work on the quality of their material.  



What's the general concensus?




The women agree!

[Shylynne]

hmmm...word has it concensus is really spelled consensus and I best correct  ma speeling before the teach bonks me with a book

 

[Willowbirch]

hmmm...word has it concensus is really spelled consensus and I best correct  ma speeling before the teach bonks me with a book

 

Cute smilie...Makes me wanna give it a kiss on the head..."Poor liddle guy, its okay, we all make mistakes..."

 

[Shylynne]

LOL ...not sure madam sincereheart will let me off that easily...she may make me  write consensus five hundred times after that joke
 

[sincereheart]

~ for sincereheart ~

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked
for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The
judge rose from the bench.

"Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear
before this court."
He smiled with delight.
"Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light'
five hundred times."

oh smart judge LOL  

 

[sincereheart]

LOL ...not sure madam sincereheart will let me off that easily...she may make me  write consensus five hundred times after that joke
 

  And it would serve you right, now wouldn't it!  
And you'd never laugh at a spelling mistake of mine, now would you?  

So just start with one hundred times!  

[Shylynne]

And you'd never laugh at a spelling mistake of mine, now would you?