pornography?

[funnybone]

Im new here.. But just wanted to see your guys' opinions..  I have a partner who used to (because he says he doesnt do it anymore) check porno sites. It's been months that we havent talked but now we're trying to work things out again.  I have this heavy feeling that he still does it and it bothers me so much. I have been reading him verses from the bible about lust, pornography, etc. and have been praying for him about that matter. WHenever i ask him if he still does it, of course he says no.  Should i trust him?  I always tell him that- to even just look at a women lustfully is like commiting adultery already.. But he doesnt really say anything about it.  Sometimes i want to spy on him just to find out if he still does it, but i know thats pretty lame..  I just dont know how to deal with this...

[airIam2worship]

Funnybone, the best you can do for your friend is to really pray for him as if your life depended on it. You'd be surprised just how many people are addicted to pron. It turns my stomach just to know how big this market is. Of course it is the work of the devil, God wants His children to present themselves to Him as a living sacrifice. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Keep talking to your friend, but don't make him feel as if you are judging him, let him know that you care very much for him and that no matter what he is still special to God. People in general think that there is nothing wrong with looking at porn they make all kinds of excuses, they are in denial, even though deep down inside they are ashamed to admit that they are caught up in it. They even think that they can quit anytime they want to. They have no idea that is is very addictive and destructive. Your friend, probably knows how wrong it is and he won't confess that he is still doing it. Don't spy on him, you can't change him, pray for him, that God will change his heart, that the Holy Spirit will convict him of it, and keep treating him with respect. Oh by the way welcome, you will like it here. There are so many wonderful people in this forum, they are always willing to pray for you and your loved ones, and there is always someone available to show you how truely concerned we are.

[funnybone]

Thank you so much.. I do pray for him a lot, as i think he is the person i will be married to one day. I had one more question though, can you guys (whoever is reading this) please include me and him in your prayers.. Thank you so much..

I also have one more question.. I have changed my means of entertainment like music, television, movies, and choose to watch and listen to christian music and plainly wholesome stuff, as to continually cleanse my mind from the bad influences of media.. thing is, i want to get him into doing the same  thing as me to help him change his impure thoughts.. but i have no idea how to encourage him to be more sensitive abou this issue..  What do you guys think?

[aribeth]

it just feels that the devil knows our weak spots and we have to fight him as hard as we can. i agree we can only pray for people we can't change them.

[ZakDar]

Im new here.. But just wanted to see your guys' opinions..  I have a partner who used to (because he says he doesnt do it anymore) check porno sites. It's been months that we havent talked but now we're trying to work things out again.  I have this heavy feeling that he still does it and it bothers me so much. I have been reading him verses from the bible about lust, pornography, etc. and have been praying for him about that matter. WHenever i ask him if he still does it, of course he says no.  Should i trust him?  I always tell him that- to even just look at a women lustfully is like commiting adultery already.. But he doesnt really say anything about it.  Sometimes i want to spy on him just to find out if he still does it, but i know thats pretty lame..  I just dont know how to deal with this...

Well, I was gonna bypass this one because my opinion might not be too popular, but it just kept scratchin' at me.

I believe there's a REASON you are having that "feeling". Same reason I had that scratchin' in me. You need to listen to that "feeling". You don't HAVE to spy on him because you already know.

Now here's the part that you might not like. You really should move on from him. Or at least, maintain purely a platonic friendship. Because if you go deeper into this relationship, and that porno problem has not been resolved, guess what he's gonna demand in the bedroom after the marriage? And guess what happens to the marriage when you demand to maintain pure sexual relations?

Frankly, I think this has disaster written all over it. You need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt about him before engaging in a relationship. So while you're praying for him, spend extra time on you with the Lord to receive direction from Him on this matter.

I apologize if this is too blunt or heavy handed sounding, but I'm afraid I don't know any other way. I guess tact is not one of my strong points.

[Shammu]

Im new here.. But just wanted to see your guys' opinions..  I have a partner who used to (because he says he doesnt do it anymore) check porno sites. It's been months that we havent talked but now we're trying to work things out again.  I have this heavy feeling that he still does it and it bothers me so much. I have been reading him verses from the bible about lust, pornography, etc. and have been praying for him about that matter. WHenever i ask him if he still does it, of course he says no.  Should i trust him?  I always tell him that- to even just look at a women lustfully is like commiting adultery already.. But he doesnt really say anything about it.  Sometimes i want to spy on him just to find out if he still does it, but i know thats pretty lame..  I just dont know how to deal with this...

Well, I was gonna bypass this one because my opinion might not be too popular, but it just kept scratchin' at me.

I believe there's a REASON you are having that "feeling". Same reason I had that scratchin' in me. You need to listen to that "feeling". You don't HAVE to spy on him because you already know.

Now here's the part that you might not like. You really should move on from him. Or at least, maintain purely a platonic friendship. Because if you go deeper into this relationship, and that porno problem has not been resolved, guess what he's gonna demand in the bedroom after the marriage? And guess what happens to the marriage when you demand to maintain pure sexual relations?

Frankly, I think this has disaster written all over it. You need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt about him before engaging in a relationship. So while you're praying for him, spend extra time on you with the Lord to receive direction from Him on this matter.

I apologize if this is too blunt or heavy handed sounding, but I'm afraid I don't know any other way. I guess tact is not one of my strong points.

Zak, you said it nicer, then I could say  that. I agree, with you.

Resting in the hands, of Jesus.
Bob

Titus 1:2 In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;

[airIam2worship]

funnybone, I agree with Zak and Dreamweaver. Believe it or not if you are living with this man and you are not married to him than according to the Bible you are commiting a sin.
Please protect yourself. If you have not received Jesus as your Lord and Savior, any one of us here would be able to help you with that, and the next step you should take to help yourself is find a good Bible believing church where you can get a lot of help. I am continuing to pray for you and for your friend. And I am sorry if I have offended you by what I just said. It's just that I have to tell it to you like it is and that is Bible truth.

[funnybone]

Wait a minute!! IM NOT LIVING WITH HIM.. He is just my boyfriend and we dont live together.. just talking about getting maried.. just wanted to correct that.....

[funnybone]

Well, I was gonna bypass this one because my opinion might not be too popular, but it just kept scratchin' at me.

I believe there's a REASON you are having that "feeling". Same reason I had that scratchin' in me. You need to listen to that "feeling". You don't HAVE to spy on him because you already know.

Now here's the part that you might not like. You really should move on from him. Or at least, maintain purely a platonic friendship. Because if you go deeper into this relationship, and that porno problem has not been resolved, guess what he's gonna demand in the bedroom after the marriage? And guess what happens to the marriage when you demand to maintain pure sexual relations?

Frankly, I think this has disaster written all over it. You need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt about him before engaging in a relationship. So while you're praying for him, spend extra time on you with the Lord to receive direction from Him on this matter.

I apologize if this is too blunt or heavy handed sounding, but I'm afraid I don't know any other way. I guess tact is not one of my strong points.


-----reply to that
Yes that was a bit harsh for me, i really love this guy and that is why i am willing to help him with his trials.. as i know for a fact that he has changed me to a better person also.. Thank you for your opinion though and I WILL GUARD MY HEART UNTIL I GET MARRIED.... and as for my reply to if i havent recieved Jesus yet.. I am already saved my dears, And saved to share..... blessed to be a blessing. that is  why i want to make a deifference in that mans life.. I just needed some spiritual support from fellow christians out there like you guys...........

[airIam2worship]

Funnybone, I'm sorry if I offended you. Please don't be angry or upset. Please keep praying about your relationship with this young man and pray for him too.  Maybe you can invite him to go to church with you one day.

[funnybone]

Hey im not mad or anything

Thank you for your opinion and advices.. Yes i am trying to witness to him, and reading to him everyday and praying with him more often.. And when he's ready go to church with him also.. I am trying not to jump start on everything too quick, as to not over whelm him with christianity, but hopefully things do go smooth for our relationship.  Please keep us in your prayers, that the Mighty Lord will strengthen us...   Thank you so much..

I am so happy to hear Godly advices.. and hopefully people who are blessing other people wth advices be more blessed....

"We are blessed to be a blessing to others"

[Shammu]

Funnybone, I will pray for you. Hopefully, God will step in and resolve the matter of porn.

Resting in the hands, of the Lord.
Bob

Leviticus 13:41 And if his hair has fallen out from the front of his head, he has baldness of the forehead, but he is clean.

[airIam2worship]

"We are blessed to be a blessing to others"

You said it Sister