Chain Letter Junkie

[Willowbirch]

 

Want to thank all of you who have taken the time and

 trouble to send me your stupid chain letters over the

 past two years  Thank you for making me feel safe,

 secure, blessed, and wealthy.  Because of your

 concern...  I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it

 can remove toilet stains.  I no longer drink Pepsi or

 Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are

 atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

 I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will

 get sick from the rat feces and urine.

 

 I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because

 it causes cancer.  I no longer check the coin return

 on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle

 infected with AIDS.  I no longer use cancer-causing

 deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on

 a hot day.  I no longer go to shopping malls because

 someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

 

 I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since

 they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

 

 I no longer shop at Target since they are French and

 don't support our American troops.  I no longer answer

 the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid

 number for which I will get the phone bill from hell

 with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and

 Uzbekistan.  I no longer eat pre-packaged foods

 because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.

 

 I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are

 actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or

 feathers.  I no longer date the opposite sex because

 they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in

 a bathtub full of ice.  I no longer have any sneakers

 -- but that will change once I receive my free

 replacement pair from Nike.

 

 I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus

 since I now have their recipe.  I no longer worry

 about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking

 out for me and St Theresa's novena has granted my

 every wish.  Thanks to you, I have learned that God

 only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven

 of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

 (Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

 

 I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a

 sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the

 1,387,258th time).

 

 I no longer have any money at all, but that will

 change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft

 and AOL are sending me for participating in their

 special e-mail program.  Yes, I want to thank all of

 you soooooooo much for looking out for me!  I will now

 return the favor.

 

 If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200

 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with

 diarrhea will poop on your head at 5:00 pm this

 afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels

 will infest your armpits.  I know this will occur

 because it actually happened to a friend of a friend

 of a friend's neighbor's cousin twice removed.

[Shammu]

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200
people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with
diarrhea will poop on your head at 5:00 pm this
afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels
will infest your armpits.  I know this will occur
because it actually happened to a friend of a friend
of a friend's neighbor's cousin twice removed

ROFL! I don't even know that many people. Guess I'll stay in for the next 45 or so minutes!

[nChrist]

Willowbirch,

       ROFL! - What a hoot! That's Oklahoma talk for something hilarious. Thanks - I needed that laugh. I must send this to my brothers.

Love In Christ,
Tom

II Timothy 3:15  And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

[Shammu]

I think its safe to come out now.

[nChrist]

Of course! - It's completely safe to come out!

[Kris777]

Oh look DW a nice little kitty! You pet it first.

[Shammu]

Oh look DW a nice little kitty! You pet it first.

Sure, right after you pet the pretty kittys.

[Kris777]

Looks like this on can't stand himself (Gag, choke, hack hack)

I'll forget I asked you to pet your kitty, if you forget that you asked me to pet mine.

[Soldier4Christ]

Looks like this on can't stand himself (Gag, choke, hack hack)

I'll forget I asked you to pet your kitty, if you forget that you asked me to pet mine.

Ahhh.....Whats wrong with those pretty kitty's?

[Kris777]

Looks like this on can't stand himself (Gag, choke, hack hack)

I'll forget I asked you to pet your kitty, if you forget that you asked me to pet mine.

Ahhh.....Whats wrong with those pretty kitty's?

 

Erm....Do you have a poor sense of smell?

[Soldier4Christ]

 

[Judy]

ROFLOL - This is the best yet!

I'm new here,,,, think I'm going to like these forums.

[Kris777]

Hi welcome to ChristiansUnite! Look guys we have some one new to pick on

[Shammu]

Hi welcome to ChristiansUnite! Look guys we have some one new to pick on

I rather pick on you, Kris.

[Kris777]

Hi welcome to ChristiansUnite! Look guys we have some one new to pick on

I rather pick on you, Kris.

Welp, there goes any hopes of diverting any attention off my self.  That's Ok DW.  I like buging you too.  Now if I can only get other people to talk to me as much as you do, I would be all set.