DISCUSSION FORUMS
MAIN MENU
Home
Help
Advanced Search
Recent Posts
Site Statistics
Who's Online
Forum Rules
Bible Resources
• Bible Study Aids
• Bible Devotionals
• Audio Sermons
Community
• ChristiansUnite Blogs
• Christian Forums
Web Search
• Christian Family Sites
• Top Christian Sites
Family Life
• Christian Finance
• ChristiansUnite KIDS
Read
• Christian News
• Christian Columns
• Christian Song Lyrics
• Christian Mailing Lists
Connect
• Christian Singles
• Christian Classifieds
Graphics
• Free Christian Clipart
• Christian Wallpaper
Fun Stuff
• Clean Christian Jokes
• Bible Trivia Quiz
• Online Video Games
• Bible Crosswords
Webmasters
• Christian Guestbooks
• Banner Exchange
• Dynamic Content

Subscribe to our Free Newsletter.
Enter your email address:

ChristiansUnite
Forums
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 24, 2024, 03:38:27 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
Our Lord Jesus Christ loves you.
287027 Posts in 27572 Topics by 3790 Members
Latest Member: Goodwin
* Home Help Search Login Register
+  ChristiansUnite Forums
|-+  Fellowship
| |-+  For Men Only (Moderator: admin)
| | |-+  TEST FOR DEMENTIA
« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 Go Down Print
Author Topic: TEST FOR DEMENTIA  (Read 9578 times)
JudgeNot
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1993


Jesus, remember me... Luke 23:42


View Profile WWW
« on: March 19, 2004, 03:40:17 PM »

TEST FOR DEMENTIA
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it," also applies to the brain, so..... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.  It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Children's World."
If you said "water," proceed to question 3

3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, "green bricks," what are you still doing reading these questions?Huh?
If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? . . . in East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated.  If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room.
 
Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator-You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on.  In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your "friends" and hope they do better than you did!
Logged

Covering your tracks is futile; God knows where you're going and where you've been.
JPD
nChrist
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 64256


May God Lead And Guide Us All


View Profile
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2004, 02:46:39 PM »

Oklahoma Howdy to JudgeNot,

Brother, I told these to my wife, and she sent me to my room without further discussion. I was thinking about sharing these with my friends, but I want to buy extra insurance first. I looked out the window when I got to my room and saw:


 Grin

Love In Christ,
Tom
Logged

Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 2873


Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?


View Profile WWW
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2004, 07:58:20 PM »

Poor Taste JUDGE NOT Grin
Logged



Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?

http://forums.christiansunite.com/index.php?board=3;action=display;threadid=550

Galatians 4:16   Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Shylynne
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1717

Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


View Profile
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2004, 08:06:00 AM »

It is OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
Logged


“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
Willowbirch
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 2125


He is risen! - He is risen indeed.


View Profile
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2004, 01:17:10 PM »

Oklahoma Howdy to JudgeNot,

Brother, I told these to my wife, and she sent me to my room without further discussion. I was thinking about sharing these with my friends, but I want to buy extra insurance first. I looked out the window when I got to my room and saw:


 Grin

Love In Christ,
Tom
Logged

"Man dreams and desires; God broods, and wills, and quickens."
nChrist
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 64256


May God Lead And Guide Us All


View Profile
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2004, 04:05:24 PM »

It is OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.


 Grin  I tried to, but I heard this weird music and a voice saying, "DO NOT try to adjust your TV set, we are in control of it."       dodododododododo

"You are in the Twilight Zone!"   Grin

So, I got some popcorn, closed my eyes, and I watched the show.   Grin

Logged

Shylynne
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1717

Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


View Profile
« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2004, 07:34:46 PM »

LOL!



so tell me is the shows all reruns at yer age peas
Logged


“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
nChrist
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 64256


May God Lead And Guide Us All


View Profile
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2004, 01:40:38 AM »

LOL!



so tell me is the shows all reruns at yer age peas

 Grin  Yes, including the news............


Royal Canadian Mounted Police Type   Grin
Logged

Shylynne
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1717

Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


View Profile
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2004, 04:05:10 PM »

now your jest drippin sauce peas Tongue

The cops stopped me today...I just know you been telling your buddies I gotta be taught a lesson in respect LOL  Lips Sealed
Logged


“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
nChrist
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 64256


May God Lead And Guide Us All


View Profile
« Reply #9 on: May 01, 2004, 04:59:21 PM »

now your jest drippin sauce peas Tongue

The cops stopped me today...I just know you been telling your buddies I gotta be taught a lesson in respect LOL  Lips Sealed

 Grin  What did you do? Did you forget to holler "WHOA!!" to your mighty horse at a stop sign? We don't have stop signs where I come from.


 Grin
Logged

Shylynne
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1717

Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


View Profile
« Reply #10 on: May 01, 2004, 06:32:51 PM »

what did I do?
I`m shocked you could ask such a thing!


hmm...what you were born by the side of a dirt road in the middle of no mans land?
Logged


“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
Shylynne
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1717

Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


View Profile
« Reply #11 on: May 01, 2004, 06:37:32 PM »

Guilty... of Innocence

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."


Logged


“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
Shylynne
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1717

Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


View Profile
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2004, 05:42:27 PM »

Here is a classic joke that taught me to stop properly
at stop signs, and grin.

A police officer pulled over a red Corvette after it had run a
stop sign.

"May I see your driver's license and registration please?"

"What's the problem, officer?"

"You just ran the stop sign back there at the last
intersection."

"Oh, come on pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me".

"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a
complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"It's no joke, sir".

"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop,
saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with
caution."

"That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come
to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your
license and..."

"You've sure got a lot of time on your hands. What's the
matter, all the doughnut shops closed?"

"Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your
license and registration immediately!"

"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing
down, and coming to a complete stop."

"Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door,
dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded to
methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick.

"Now sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a
complete stop?"

  Lips Sealed
Logged


“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
nChrist
Global Moderator
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 64256


May God Lead And Guide Us All


View Profile
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2004, 05:52:37 PM »

Shylynne,


I've never heard that one - THANKS!
Logged

Shylynne
Gold Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1717

Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


View Profile
« Reply #14 on: May 04, 2004, 03:41:59 PM »

Two elderly Wal-Mart greeters were sitting on a bench during break time
and one turns to the other saying, "Art, I'm 73 years old and I'm just
full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Art says, "I feel just like a new born babe."

Rather amazed, Art's co-worker repeats his statement back in the form of a
question, "Really? A new born babe???"

"Yup", grins Art, " No teeth, No hair and I think I just wet my pants."   Cheesy
Logged


“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
Pages: [1] 2 Go Up Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  



More From ChristiansUnite...    About Us | Privacy Policy | | ChristiansUnite.com Site Map | Statement of Beliefs



Copyright © 1999-2025 ChristiansUnite.com. All rights reserved.
Please send your questions, comments, or bug reports to the

Powered by SMF 1.1 RC2 | SMF © 2001-2005, Lewis Media