The Story of Li-Li

[Willowbirch]

 The Story of Li-Li
 
 A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to
 live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-
 Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.
 Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by
 many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-
 Li constantly. Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and
 her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made
 the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese
 tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every
 wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-
 Li's poor husband great distress. Finally, Li-Li could not
 stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer,
 and she decided to do something about it.
 
 Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold
 herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her
 some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.
 Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help
 you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I
 tell you."
 
 Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."
 
 Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few
 minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use
 a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because
 that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have
 given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her
 body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little
 of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that
 nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act
 very friendly towards her. Don't argue with her, obey her every
 wish, and treat her like a queen."
 
 Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to
 start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and
 months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially
 treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang
 had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper,
 obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.
 
 After six months had passed, the whole household had changed.Li-Li
 had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she
 almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her
 mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and
 easier to get along with. The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li
 changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter.
 
 She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best
 daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law
 were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-
 Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.
 
 One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again.
 
 She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from
 killing my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and
 I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of
 the poison I gave her." Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-
 Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison.
 The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only
 poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has
 been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."
 
 MORAL: have you ever realized that how you treat others is
 exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese
 saying: 'The person who loves others will also be loved in
 return.' God might be trying to work in another person's life
 through you.
 

[Whitehorse]

I think Li-Li went Loo-loo.  

[Willowbirch]

I think Li-Li went Loo-loo.  

[Tibby]

I think Li-Li went Loo-loo.  

[size=20]ATTN: Whitehorse is now banned from telling jokes involving puns![/size]

I wonder if I got my message across...

[Willowbirch]

  I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. I must have loo-loo in my ear. Could you repeat that?




 

[Whitehorse]

I think Li-Li went Loo-loo.  

[size=20]ATTN: Whitehorse is now banned from telling jokes involving puns![/size]

I wonder if I got my message across...

Well, I for one thought it was very punny!  

[Tibby]

Oh, it was “punny.” A little TOO “punny.” I would have settled for funny

[Whitehorse]

That's certainly something to puntificate.

[Willowbirch]

That's certainly something to puntificate.

I'm looking that up in the dictionary right now...

Hmmm, couldn't find it (wonder why?) but how about -

"Pundit: n. a person who knows a great deal; authority or expert."

[Tibby]

That's certainly something to puntificate.

I'm looking that up in the dictionary right now...

Hmmm, couldn't find it (wonder why?) but how about -

"Pundit: n. a person who knows a great deal; authority or expert."

Yeah, we know, Willow, but we are not talking about ME right now, we are talking about Whtehore. Stop changing the subject!


 

[Whitehorse]

That's certainly something to puntificate.

I'm looking that up in the dictionary right now...

Hmmm, couldn't find it (wonder why?) but how about -

"Pundit: n. a person who knows a great deal; authority or expert."

I changed it from pontificate to puntificate, for Tibby's benefit!  

[Whitehorse]

That's certainly something to puntificate.

I'm looking that up in the dictionary right now...

Hmmm, couldn't find it (wonder why?) but how about -

"Pundit: n. a person who knows a great deal; authority or expert."

Yeah, we know, Willow, but we are not talking about ME right now, we are talking about Whtehore. Stop changing the subject!


 

Thank you for your gracious compliment.