Book-a-minute

[Tibby]

Hey, guys, the post about Dune reminded me of the book-a-minute site and I’d thought I’d share it with you guys. I found it a few years ago in the Stephen R. Lawhead site, and forgot about it till now. The site condenses popular novels into less then a minute for those of us who don’t have the time. Enjoy

http://www.gotcha222/bookaminute/

They even have a movie-a-minute site.

[Tibby]

http://www.gotcha222/bookaminute/b/lewis.lww.shtml

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

By C. S. Lewis

Ultra-Condensed by David J. Parker and Samuel Stoddard

Lucy
I've discovered a magical country in the wardrobe.

Edmund
Liar.

(Lucy and Edmund go to Narnia. They come back.)

Lucy
Edmund came with me.

Edmund
Liar.

(Lucy, Edmund, Peter, and Susan go through THE WARDROBE, where they meet THE LION and defeat THE WITCH. They get all old and talk funny, then they come back young again. The professor says some CRYPTIC things.)


THE END

[Tibby]

And I’m posting this one just for A4C:

http://www.gotcha222/bookaminute/b/rowling.stone.shtml

Editor's Note
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is not just about magic; it is magic, for this single book is mysteriously comprised of two separate texts: there is the printed text that is experienced when the book is read, and there is the secret, more sinister text that is experienced when it is not read. This strange divergence has caused a lot of controversy, but we here at Book-A-Minute maintain the spirit of neutrality and uphold the freedom of personal choice. Rather than forcing our readership to subscribe to one text or the other, we have chosen to condense both versions of the text, thereby permitting concerned parents the choice of which version -- if either -- to read to their children.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
(aka: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

(printed version)

By J. K. Rowling

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

Harry Potter
I thought I was a lowly child; instead, I'm a wizard.

Hagrid
Harry, here are some secrets I'm not supposed to tell you.

Harry Potter
(saves the world)

THE END


Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
(aka: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

(secret version)

By J. K. Rowling

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

Harry Potter
I thought I was a lowly child; instead, I'm a wizard.

J. K. Rowling
Now that I have your attention, my pretties, here is how you perform satanic rituals and become demons.

THE END

[Tibby]

http://www.gotcha222/bookaminute/b/tolkien.twotowers.shtml

The Two Towers

By J. R. R. Tolkien

Ultra-Condensed by David J. Parker and Samuel Stoddard


(Gandalf frees THEODEN and overthrows SARUMAN. A bunch of IRRELEVANT stuff happens. Then the PLOT starts up again.)


THE END

[Ambassador4Christ]

And I’m posting this one just for A4C:

http://www.gotcha222/bookaminute/b/rowling.stone.shtml

Editor's Note
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is not just about magic; it is magic, for this single book is mysteriously comprised of two separate texts: there is the printed text that is experienced when the book is read, and there is the secret, more sinister text that is experienced when it is not read. This strange divergence has caused a lot of controversy, but we here at Book-A-Minute maintain the spirit of neutrality and uphold the freedom of personal choice. Rather than forcing our readership to subscribe to one text or the other, we have chosen to condense both versions of the text, thereby permitting concerned parents the choice of which version -- if either -- to read to their children.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
(aka: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

(printed version)

By J. K. Rowling

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

Harry Potter
I thought I was a lowly child; instead, I'm a wizard.

Hagrid
Harry, here are some secrets I'm not supposed to tell you.

Harry Potter
(saves the world)

THE END


Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
(aka: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

(secret version)

By J. K. Rowling

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

Harry Potter
I thought I was a lowly child; instead, I'm a wizard.

J. K. Rowling
Now that I have your attention, my pretties, here is how you perform satanic rituals and become demons.

THE END

Harry Potter
(saves the world)  

[Tibby]

http://www.gotcha222/bookaminute/b/lawhead.dragonking.shtml

The Dragon King Trilogy

By Stephen R. Lawhead

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard and David J. Parker

Quentin
There's only One True God.

Supporting Characters
Leave me alone, while I serve the god of toothpaste.

(They DO. But then...DISASTER STRIKES.)

Supporting Characters
We've learned our lessons. We're with you, Quentin.

(Everything's all right again.)


THE END

[Willowbirch]

Edmund: Liar.




 

[Ambassador4Christ]

http://www.gotcha222/bookaminute/b/lawhead.dragonking.shtml

The Dragon King Trilogy

By Stephen R. Lawhead

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard and David J. Parker

Quentin
There's only One True God.

Supporting Characters
Leave me alone, while I serve the god of toothpaste.

(They DO. But then...DISASTER STRIKES.)

Supporting Characters
We've learned our lessons. We're with you, Quentin.

(Everything's all right again.)


THE END

Supporting Characters
Leave me alone, while I serve the god of toothpaste.

[CleansedSpirit]

"Leave me alone, while I serve the god of toothpaste"

   <--- here he is! My, look at that white smile!




 

[Brother Love]

"Leave me alone, while I serve the god of toothpaste"

   <--- here he is! My, look at that white smile!




 

 

Brother Love

[Tibby]

[Brother Love]

 

Brother Love

[Tibby]

 

[Ambassador4Christ]

Harry Potter said this?

Leave me alone, while I serve the god of toothpaste

[Tibby]

Nope, the book-a-minute guys said that. THey got the idea from DC Talk