I find much of your post and the originating sermon found on the link to have some very interesting Bible teaching. When the sermon (and your quotes, below) branches to modern "psychobable," is where I become very uncomfortable.
the semon has taken the position that most men are inately violent and aggressive because they are internally flawed in a manner that women are not... Folks that espouse this state that high achieving men or "driven men" are sublimating or transferring their aggressive streak to their business or their sports, etc.
Combining this with "need for father's approval/love" and "wounded by one's father" as a source of this violence is also part of the postion espoused by many: "Men are inately evil & violent."
I find this interpretation for the reasons why MEN do evil (in their marriages & business and to their children, wives and friends) to be a simplistic and ERRONEOUS insult!
To use obviously limited valid points ("many men...") coupled very general broad truths ("struggle with feelings of inadequacy...") to justify this theoretical position ultimately discredits the sermon and the attempted counseling.
If your position is that all males are inherently evil, there is no hope for them to change.
The BIBLICAL reality is that we all are broken people in need of a healer, male and female. WE ALL struggle with feelings of inadequecy BECAUSE we truely are inadequate, in & of ourselves to deal with the problems in our culture, our world, our spouse's needs, our family's needs, etc.
While a few men have taken their frustration out on their loved ones, branding all of us is unfair as well as confusing the issue. When one confuses the real issue, one CANNOT provide any valid solution to the problems.
I, for one, do not seek my natural father's love and approval, as he has consistently reassured me of his love. His approval depends on the honor and ethics of my behavior. This seems to mirror the Heavenly father. I, however, am well aware that I "do not have what it takes," and am
NOT more violent because of my inadequacy.
I do not accept the position that all men who were deeply wounded by their earthly father seek to replace this loss and fill the wound /need with a wife's love. A man that would do this will seek a dominant woman and be relatively comfortable being obedient.
My interpretation on Men's reasons for abusing those around them (family, friends, associates, strangers, etc.) is:
Men are sinful creatures who are subject to sinful desires. We are broken spiritually. We are also weak and crippled in spirit, soul and mind. We can only do what we have been taught, what we learn and what we choose to beleive. Many have risen above tough childhood situations to become rich & powerful. However, we all are limited to the choices we make and the results of those choices.
many of us have been taught by our culture that our maleness (i.e. testosterone) that we will be prone to violence and aggression. Many, today, have been taught situational ethics, secular humanism, sexual-oriented Darwinism (males are evil but necessary), and other reasons for our mistakes. These are all the WORLD's ideas that DO NOT PROVIDE anything constructive, only justification for continued mistakes.
the bottom line is that each male needs a savior to begin the process of healing our inate brokenness FIRST. Second, we each need to follow Christ's example and live each day in fellowship with Him to continue the healing process and to begin learning a new way of life.
If I follow the example of Christ as shown in the Bible, New Testament, Old Testament and the Gospels, I will treat my wife and children much better... My behavior will change as Jesus changes my heart. My heart will change as I read and study the Bible and live in fellowship with Jesus.
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