I stumbled upon this message board while trying desperately to find information about sexual addiction and pornography addiction for my beloved husband. I came across the title for this thread and thought " Finally!". Upon reading I saw no hint of "brotherly" love or support. This man came reaching out to other brothers and instead is treated like such an outcast and told he doesn't belong in the ministry. Maybe it is time you "Godly men" came down off your pedestool's and embraced this brother. Not one of us is perfect!

This attitude is why brothers who are suffering do so in silence. These couples are suffering silently because of fear of being treated like this. If these people cannot turn to their brothers and sisters in Christ, who can they turn to?? This addiction is like any other (alcohol, food, smoking, etc). It needs understanding and love. Do you think these men like living how they live?? No, they don't. It's a very humiliating thing for them. It's also very hard on their families. These people try to change and overcome their addictions. In order to do it succesfully, they need support. You don't just say I'll pray.

My husband was a lay speaker who preached and was going to begin seminary. He had been trying to overcome his addiction for 4 1/2 years. When everything finally hit the fan this past april, he realized that he would lose everything if he didn't get the help he needs. When I first learned of his addiction in dec 01, I tried to get him help but never dreamed the chaplain (an officer above him) would try to get him in trouble. We tried dealing with it together and it worked until we weren't trying so hard and he got back into it. It's a constant thing in our marriage now. We have since withdrawn from the church because there is no support and once people learn, it's like you have the plague. It hurts me immensely. Do you think my husband enjoys the hurt that I have had to deal with?? Do you think he likes the way people see him? Do I like how people treat him? No, no, and no.

As a wife, I'm going to ask that people stop treating these people like they are deviants who aren't worthy of anything. People in ministry are just that, people. They are no better than Joe Schmoe down the street.