Pullover!!!

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!"

"NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

K-9 Unit

A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning.

"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer.

The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a blind policeman!"

     

_______________________

A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn.

The cop asked, "Can you explain why you're out at this hour?"

"If I could," the drunk said, "I'd be home by now!"

[The Sunshine Boys QuartetThe Dixie EchosThe Florida BoysThe Cathedral QuartetThe Calvary Mens QuartetThe Melody Boys QuartetThe Dixie Melody Boys]

Oklahoma Howdy to All,

I am a fan of old fashioned Gospel music, and I doubt that I will ever change. I've listened to some of the modern Christian music, and I just don't enjoy it very much. I'm stuck in the 50s and 60s or music with that type of style. My favorites would have to include the many Gospel quartets of that time. I think that it's a combination of the words, the beautiful harmony, the delivery, and maybe even a little bit of a beat from time to time.

The young folks here won't even know what I'm talking about.    The top of my list would have to be:

The Sunshine Boys Quartet of the 50s. Some of the members changed over the years. My favorite combination involved J.D. Sumner as the bass and Ace Richmond as the tenor. Their range is awesome, and their harmony is beautiful.

So, here's my vote for some old Gospel music that had beautiful words and harmony from folks who really love the Lord.

The Sunshine Boys Quartet
The Dixie Echos
The Florida Boys
The Cathedral Quartet
The Calvary Mens Quartet
The Melody Boys Quartet
The Dixie Melody Boys

I do enjoy some modern groups, but most of them sing and play in the old style. Bill Gaither and friends always has beautiful Gospel music done in the older styles.

If anyone is interested, I'll post some links that are completely free to listen to 24/7.

Love In Christ,
Tom

John Davis,

Please don't turn this into advertising, it will simply be deleted.

Moderator

IT'S OK, COME ON HOME!

A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him.

"Yes," she replied readily. 'Tell him Mother didn't come after all."

 

Oklahoma Howdy to Dreamweaver,

     The exploding paint dye joke was my favorite. Thanks, I needed those laughs.
________________________

The Motorcycle Cop I Met The Other Day

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked-geek.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires! So I called him a horse's behind.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first... then started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care, my car was parked around the corner.

 

OneStarFisher Said:

I want to encourage everyone in the body to speak up. Don't be silent. Who was it that said once, Life is 99% just showing up? Don't let this issue go the way of the others, into complacency. If you go, they might interview you and you can speak up for God and what's right - no matter what the issue! I sure didn't expect this door to open - and all I did was make my feet go in that direction. The Lord did the rest.  Oh, they also had 2 "Christian" pastors with them, complete with clerical collars, because they are all "getting married" at some resort tomorrow. I had a chance to rebuke the pastors and call them false shepherds or ravenous wolves or something, I dont' recall.

Oklahoma Howdy to OneStarFisher,

AMEN!!! I understand what you mean when you say that "The Lord did the rest". That bus load of folks were all lost, and their so-called pastors with them were ministers of the devil. I don't see anything in your account about any trouble of any kind for you, so God took care of you completely. I love to hear stories about Christians standing up for Jesus, even if there is some sort of problem the Christians must deal with later. Maybe God intended for you to stand there alone. I think that I would say that you heard, you obeyed, and God's will was done.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Illegal Turn

A father in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light, where it wasn't allowed.

"Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!", he said.

"That's OK, Dad," his son replied. "The police car right behind us did the same thing."

 

A WHO DONE IT?

A workman was killed at a construction site.

The police began questioning a number of the other workers.
Based with past brushes with the law, many of these workers were considered prime suspects.

The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.

The carpenter who thought he was a stud was once arrested for murder but was never nailed.

The window glazier went to great panes to conceal his past.

The painter had a brush with the law several years ago.

The heating, ventilation and air conditioning contractor is known to pack heat. He was arrested once but duct the charges.

The mason gets stoned regularly and his alibi is as solid as a rock.

The cabinet maker is an accomplished counter fitter.

So who did it?

The window glazier. But he claims he was framed.

 

Oklahoma Howdy to AbidinginJesus,

I think that you gave us some excellent advice in looking for good amidst our troubles. Jesus is always with us, and that's one thing that is always good. I hope you enjoy Christians Unite.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Hi Everyone,

My goal here in life is to inspire people live their life to the fullest extent.  I want to be a great encourager.

Joy

Oklahoma Howdy to Joy,

I pray that God gives you the guidance, strength, and determination to do just that. We need a lot more people who desire the same thing. I hope you enjoy Christians Unite.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to EvgPoet,

I hope you enjoy Christians Unite, and I look forward to reading some of your poetry.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to M.L.,

I hope you enjoy Christians Unite. I'm a retired police officer, and what you relate is very familiar to me. There is a cycle of abuse, and only you can break it. I would first tell you to place your trust in Jesus, not men. Second, I would tell you to prosecute and not let anyone change your mind. Third, if you depend on something or someone that relates to keeping you tied to more abuse, drop it and leave it. Fourth, check for support groups in your area that can share all of the resources with you. Your local police department should be able to give you a list.

You have a right to demand a life free from abuse and battering, physical or emotional. Stand up and demand nothing less. In the meantime, trust in Jesus and remember that men fail. I'll be praying for you.

Love in Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to ShockedOne,

Enjoy Christians Unite!

Love In Christ,
Tom