The Public Pool:

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."

"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"

   Shylynne,

Thanks, I needed that laugh. I think that I heard a different version once.
_______________________

Things My Mother Taught Me:

My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP..."Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE..."What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me about GENETICS..."You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS..."Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE..."When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION..."Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING...You are going to get it when we get home.

and my all time favorite thing - JUSTICE..."One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."

Just speakin from my heart Tom, don't get too excited. I've said what needed to be said, and i'm holding my end of the bargain, now it must be said, will the rest of the Christians on here, hold up their end of the bargain. The ball is multiplying and it is going into other people's courts. Don't drop the ball. I pray that htis finds you in good health and spirits. God Bless

In His Service
Joshua

Oklahoma Howdy To Joshua,

Brother, it is my desire and determination to use whatever I have left in service to Jesus for the remainer of my days. My computer is one of the ways I had to do this, and it appears that it is ailing more than I am.    I prayed about this, and God has provided a way for me to get another one. I'm praying that problem will be solved in the next couple of weeks. It is down and crashed more than it is up.

God willing, I plan to finish my race, even if it is in a wheelchair. I completely agree that all Christians should stand up and keep standing up until Jesus takes us home. I'm 1,000% positive that all Bible prophecy will be fulfilled precisely, so standing up for Jesus will eventually mean persecution. By the way, that's already started, but it will get worse. That should simply be encouragement to continue.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Why donlt you just put someone is charge of it all? Duh

*sigh* adults


 

But Tibby, that wouldn't be the government way. They would also want to do a study, have a poll, and hire a human resources supervisor, a background investigator, an environmentalist, a dietition, a nurse, a psychologist, and a budget specialist - EVEN FOR THE MAYBERRY JAIL!!  

After all, IT ISN'T THEIR MONEY AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT!!  

TOM

[THANKS ADMIN!!!]

       ADMIN, BEP:
     Thankyou for all your hard work, what with the Trolls, Spambots and everything else.
      Yes we had a Troll.

Oklahoma Howdy to Forrest,

I second your thanks to ADMIN. I can only imagine how much work it would be to keep such a large system going, especially with the current conditions on the Internet and all the folks who don't like anything Christian at all. It's a big challenge to keep the Christians Unite server up and going.

THANKS ADMIN!!!

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to Dreamweaver,

   I'll work on a Captain Kangaroo story. I'm out of groaners at the moment.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to JudgeNot,

I really appreciate the information. I have tried to educate myself some about the modern computers, but I have a ways to go.  

My old computer is an HP Tank, and I definitely got many years of good service out of it. I am looking very seriously at Dell. I'll probably wind up with something like a 2.2 Pentium 4, and I am exploring the idea of a flat panel. I remember reading about them when they were relatively new. They used to have a problem with overheating and burning out, but I understand there are no problems with the newer models. I think that I like the idea of a flat panel. However, my old monitor holds down one corner of our house in high winds.  

I don't even know what some of the basic things are on the modern computers, so I guess that it's time to find out in a hurry. My son-in-law just got a smaller Dell, something that I could probably afford. So far, they are very happy with it, and it does have a flat panel screen.

I might just have to follow the advice, "Get a Dell Dude".  

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to Gracey,

Thanks for the information. I don't have to worry about the $2,500 models since I don't have nearly that much to spend. I'll be looking for something smaller and definitely a desktop. I have tried to do some reading about wireless, and I will consider that.

It's been a long time since I've bought a computer, so the descriptions of modern computers look alien.   Thanks also for the links. I'll have to do my homework because it will probably be another long time before I buy another one.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to All,

Joshua,
AMEN!! - Good post that I really enjoyed.

JudgeNot,
It looks like we are thinking on the same wave length. My wife and I are considering a smaller place now. We have an empty nest that needs tons of repairs. A smaller, but well built, trailer sounds like a fairly good answer for us.

Butcha,
With five children, I think you are going to need at least 1,000 square feet.  

I was out of pocket last night with an ailing computer, so I missed LuciferX. ADMIN didn't miss him. It's amazing how hard the devil tries to get to us.


Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to JudgeNot and Forrest,

Brothers, I will have to say that I've not had a lightning ball chase me through the house, but I have seen the aftermath.

   Well, my wife finally told me that I need a new computer. I'm sure that I won't get anything big or fancy, but it will not have duct tape or bailing wired holding it together. YES!!, we actually looked at computers today. I wonder if the Smithsonian wants my old one.  

HP is what I've had for so many years, and it was built like a Sherman tank. What do you think about the new HPs? I'm thinking about one of the smaller ones, but it will be 10 times faster than what I have. I'm thinking about a 2.2 Pentium 4.

Better yet - what do you like in the new computers?

JudgeNot, very few will understand this next little attempt at humor.    I'm a little bit sad to give up my card reader, and all of those tubes helped to keep things nice and cozy during the winter.  

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy To Sojourner,

If you keep studying your Bible, get a little bit of maturity under your belt, and learn how to rightly divide the Word of God, you'll see it for yourself.

I've learned that debating is a waste of time in most cases. I don't mind having a friendly discussion with people of more maturity. I simply have better things to do with my time.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to Shylynne,

Add one more for agreement. It is probably a fact that many in my generation put themselves in a situation where everyone had to work. I didn't live through the great depression, but my parents did. In looking back, there may have been a thought from those in my generation that we wanted more than what we had when we were children. Well, we got a little bit more, but we sure did pay a horrible price for it. I was lucky with very close family ties, so my children were rarely with anyone who didn't read Bible stories and teach them good things. We probably did have to work 2 or more jobs for the first 5 years of our marriage, but we could have made it on one income had we not decided we had to have a bigger house. We had a second child on the way and an 800 square foot house with a massive $66 monthly payment.    Well, you know what happened with the bigger house.

This may also be the root cause for the explosion of alcohol and drug abuse, and then so many broken marriages. We would have probably all been better off in a tent.  

Love In Christ,
Tom

Welcome DoTW!

I hope that you enjoy Christians Unite.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to Bondslave,

Just pick a few topics that interest you and join in the conversation. Or, start your own topic. This is not live chat, so it might be several days on a given topic before it gets going good.

I hope you enjoy it here.

Tom

Mr. Bepster,

We have a jail correct? There are cells for solitary confinement?

Ok we need a 'fair trial' to convict Tibby

 Bailiff ........ Bepster

 Judge.......  Judgenot

 Defense .... ebia

 DA...........Heidi


Who else and for what position do we need ? ...

Oklahoma Howdy to Reba,

   I thought that we already had a trial for Tibby in absencia, and he was found guilty. I can't remember what the charge was.  

We definitely need someone to do the public floggings, and I think that you would be great for that job.  

UM?? - We need someone to be in charge of the public square pillory. Any nominations_________________.

We will definitely need an executioner.._______________.

We'll need a cook if we decide to feed them   ___________.

UM??, depending on the number of errors and executions, we will need a grave digger_________________.

"You mean 9th Circus Court of Schlimeals?
YIKES!"

What if we just let Tibby work off his sentence as the executioner?  

Love In Christ,
Tom