Report from Boston: Inconsistencies Abound at Dems' Nat'l Convention

by Bill Fancher and Jody Brown
July 27, 2004

(AgapePress) - One pro-family activist detects numerous inconsistencies -- not to mention, biting anti-Bush commentary -- emanating from the Fleet Center in Boston, where the Democratic Party faithful are preparing to bestow upon John Kerry and John Edwards their long-expected designation as presidential and vice-presidential candidates.

Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe called the convention to order on Monday night, saying the Party will offer Americans ideas based on enduring values, including "family and faith." That proclamation was followed by a high-profile lesbian from the Clinton administration and a woman whose name is synonymous with legalized abortion.

Roberta Achtenberg, who was assistant HUD secretary under Clinton, told the delegates that the Democratic Party reflects her values. "I am a lawyer, a mother, and a lesbian," she stated. "I am proud to be all of those things -- and one thing more: I am proud to be a Democrat." Achtenberg also says she is proud to be part of a party that opposes the Federal Marriage Amendment and seeks "equal responsibilities, benefits, and protections" for families of same-sex couples.

Then Gloria Feldt of Planned Parenthood said that presumptive presidential nominee John Kerry would not appoint Supreme Court justices who oppose abortion or believe that "women must submit themselves to their husbands."

But the spotlight on the first night of the convention in Beantown belonged to former presidents Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter. The Party's "big guns" took aim at the Bush administration from the podium, taking credit for ending the Cold War and criticizing President Bush for using budget policies established by the Democratic Party itself.

Inconsistencies
Dr. Janice Crouse of Concerned Women for America (CWA) says she found the evening a bit confusing. "That sort of inconsistency, talking out of both sides of the mouth, has seemed to me to be pretty widespread," she observed.

Crouse says she went to a Democrat pro-life meeting earlier in the day and found the same thing there. "They were talking about how this is the party that left them behind; that they hadn't left the party, but this is the party that left them behind," she says.

Crouse has noticed an inconsistency as well in the Party's expected presidential nominee. Senator John Kerry has stated his belief that human life begins at conception. But when asked recently by ABC's Peter Jennings that, in that context, would not a first-trimester abortion be murder? -- Kerry responded: "No, because it's not a form of life that takes personhood in the terms that we have judged it to be in the past."

The CWA spokesman says the senator from Massachusetts cannot have it both ways. "If Kerry truly believes life begins at conception, then abortion at any stage is taking a human life," she says, adding that Kerry is playing with words.

"Apparently Kerry believes he can win the votes of both pro-life and pro-abortion constituents by distorting the English language to avoid the issue," Crouse says. "Pro-life voters will not be fooled by Kerry's irrational statements." According to Crouse, Kerry's pro-abortion voting record is "far clearer" than his verbal statements.

Auschwitz in Boston?
Meanwhile, groups of pro-life and pro-family protesters at the Democratic National Convention are finding it difficult to get their messages across. They have found themselves relegated to a fenced-in area with two layers of cyclone fencing with razor wire at the top and a net overhead attached to a catwalk with armed snipers. It is the only place they are allowed to demonstrate, so the various groups are going to challenge the arrangement.

Pat Mahoney of the Christian Defense Coalition explains the plan. "We're going to have a prayer vigil outside, then [each of us] is going to put on a gag around [our] mouth. Then we will walk in there and we have 50 signs and five 20-foot banners which say messages like 'Senator Kerry, tear this wall down,' [and] 'The DNC stands for Democratic National Censors.'"

The protest pen is being referred to as "Auschwitz" by the police given the task of guarding it. Mahoney says it is an "eerie" and "stifling" situation. "It literally is like an internment camp; it's like a jail," he says. "You really get the sense that you're in a concentration camp."

-----------------------------------------------------

http://news.christiansunite.com/Religion_News/religion01285.shtml

Additional information on ChristiansUnite.com is available on the Internet at http://www.christiansunite.com/
Copyright © 2003 ChristiansUnite.com. All rights reserved.

[That is just one of the reasons why the defense or promotion of alternative lifestyles IS NOT permitted on Christians Unite.]

Oklahoma Howdy to Why? and Daily Walker,

There is nothing wrong or hateful about telling the truth and calling sin, sin. Quoting a Bible verse or holding a sign that says "Homosexuality" is a sin is quite proper. In fact, it is kind to inform someone they are wallowing in sin and death. The knowledge of sin and death is a way of showing someone a path to Christ. Silence and tolerance is greatly responsible for the rampant evil we see today. Silence and tolerance will simply encourage it to grow and more people drug down into the darkness of pain, despair, sin, and death. Silence and tolerance simply lets the devil's voice be the only one that is heard.

Recognizing that you are a sinner and knowing that you need to be rescued is the first step to Christ. It is not kind or Biblical to put your stamp of approval on evil by your silence. That is just one of the reasons why the defense or promotion of alternative lifestyles IS NOT permitted on Christians Unite.

Daily Walking, I'm not sure what you are suggesting when you appealed to Christian dads about the training of their children. If you are suggesting anything other than the teaching of Biblical morals and values, you would be wrong. One of the biggest problems of this society is the lack or absence of the teaching of Biblical morals and values.

Regardless, if you wish to tell Christians to be silent about evil and sin, you are in the wrong crowd of Christians. More is part of the answer, NOT less. America started falling apart when they took prayer out of public schools. This was only one factor, but it only took 50 years for America to turn its back on God and become a nation where evil rules. I was there 50 years ago, and I know that silence and tolerance by Christians is one of the primary factors for the rampant evil we see today.

If someone is offended by the quoting of a Bible Verse or a plain TRUTH statement of sin, I say GOOD!! Maybe that feeling will lead to recognition, conviction, and seeking a Lord and Saviour for rescue and Salvation. No Christian should ever be ashamed of the WORD OF GOD.

Love In Christ,
Tom

[Note - I had to use {} to let you see the command. The actual command is surrounded by [].]

    Hehe, I feel so welcome!   Thank you Blackeyedpeas for your encouragement!  I did have a question though.  Um, this will probably sound really dumb but here goes.  When you post, I saw that you are able to put quotes from other people on your posts.  Would you mind telling me how that is done?

Hello Music4Him,

I would be most happy to tell you. One can hit the reply key at the top or bottom of each page and make a post to anyone you wish. OR, you can hit the quote key on the specific message you wish to reply to, and the forum software will automatically include the entire message in a quote for you. You simply reply after you see the the end quote that looks like this " {/quote} " Note - I had to use {} to let you see the command. The actual command is surrounded by []. You can also remove any portion of the quoted material before you reply.

On some posts, you might wish to use only a small portion of another person's post as a quote. In that case, it is easier to highlight the material you wish to quote with your mouse, right click, and give the command copy. There is a command bar above the message editing window. On the bottom row of commands, second from the right, is an insert quote command. Wherever you wish to insert the quote, press that, place the mouse cursor in the center of the quote commands, right click the mouse, and give the command paste. BINGO!, you have a quote.

There might be times that you wish to quote and reply numerous times in the same post. You would simply insert an end quote command "{/quote} Note - I had to use {} to let you see the command. The actual command is surrounded by []., make your reply, edit the remaining quote however you wish, place a begin quote command, an end quote command, and your reply to each. Until you get used to it, I suggest that you use the preview message command to see if you got what you wanted before pushing the post command.

I hope this helps. If you place your mouse cursor over the commands on top of the message editing window, you will see a brief note about what each command does. Bold, italic, underlined, text color, font, font size, and more is easily available. Let's say you press the "B" key on the top left command row. That means bold, and the system will automatically insert a beginning and ending bold command for you. You simply place your mouse cursor in the dead center of the beginning and ending command and start typing.

There's a lot you will get comfortable with quickly, but holler if you need help.

Love In Christ,
Tom

[POWER AND MAJESTY OF THE GODHEAD]

Ephesians 3 - Part 7

Ephesians 3:8  Unto me, who am less than the least of all saints, is this grace given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ;

Verse 8 Notes - Paul further expounds on his blunt statement in verse 7. Paul states that he is the least of all Saints, but he was given the Grace of God to preach among the Gentiles.  One must look at the life of Paul to understand what a powerful statement this was. Paul had been the proud and self-righteous Jew who persecuted the followers of Christ, and he is now speaking of God's Grace and being allowed to preach to a people he had once thought to be vile, unworthy heathens. Now, it is Paul who feels unworthy. The old Paul would have required cleansing rituals after being in their presence, but the new Paul gives thanks for being given the Grace and opportunity to preach the Gospel to them.  Paul has experienced the riches of Christ and the riches in Christ. Paul has been given the wisdom and knowledge of God through the Holy Spirit. Paul is bluntly making the observation, who am I to be worthy of such things? He didn't confer with flesh and blood, but he knows it was VERY GOD who filled him with unimaginable riches in Christ that he was to share with others. You will hear Paul use the word "GRACE" used by Paul over and over. Paul knew that he was unworthy to receive theses riches. Paul is really saying that he deserved only punishment and death, but he received the GRACE and GIFTS of GOD, the opposite of what he had earned and deserved. Paul knew that he had been a murderer, a blasphemer, and much more, but God forgave him and blessed him with all spiritual blessings. Paul knew that God would forgive, redeem, and sanctify, EVEN him, because God had already done it. Paul had, indeed, been given the grace, love, mercy, and riches in Christ, and Paul had no doubt of MUCH MORE to come in eternity with Christ.  Many knew of the awesome Power and Majesty of Almighty God, but few knew about Jesus Christ, even though HE was manifest in the flesh and walked among them. Some had felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and had even been taught by HIM, but more of the POWER AND MAJESTY OF THE GODHEAD had been revealed to Paul. Many saw and believed Jesus Christ, but they didn't understand HIS PURPOSE. Many of these riches had been revealed ONLY  to Paul, and Paul's commission was to preach these riches and make others see, understand, and believe, especially the Majesty and Purpose of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, VERY GOD, ALMIGHTY GOD. The THREE of the GODHEAD were and are ONE.  Please see:

1 Corinthians 15:9  For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.

Philippians 2:3  Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

1 Timothy 1:13  Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.

1 Peter 5:5  Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

1 Peter 5:6  Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Acts 5:41  And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name.

Romans 15:15  Nevertheless, brethren, I have written the more boldly unto you in some sort, as putting you in mind, because of the grace that is given to me of God,
Romans 15:16  That I should be the minister of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles, ministering the gospel of God, that the offering up of the Gentiles might be acceptable, being sanctified by the Holy Ghost.
Romans 15:17  I have therefore whereof I may glory through Jesus Christ in those things which pertain to God.

Galatians 1:16  To reveal his Son in me, that I might preach him among the heathen; immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood:

1 Timothy 2:7  Whereunto I am ordained a preacher, and an apostle, (I speak the truth in Christ, and lie not;) a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and verity.

Ephesians 1:7  In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
Ephesians 1:8  Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;

Ephesians 2:7  That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.

Romans 11:33  O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

1 Corinthians 1:30  But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption:

1 Corinthians 2:9  But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

Philippians 4:19  But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Colossians 1:27  To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:

Colossians 2:1  For I would that ye knew what great conflict I have for you, and for them at Laodicea, and for as many as have not seen my face in the flesh;
Colossians 2:2  That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ;
Colossians 2:3  In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
____________________
See Part 8

Ephesians 3 - Part 6

Ephesians 3:7  Whereof I was made a minister, according to the gift of the grace of God given unto me by the effectual working of his power.

Verse 7 Notes - Here, Paul is making a blunt statement that he was made a minister of the Gospel by the GIFT of Grace given to him by God and the power of God working in him. The old Paul was a self-righteous and proud Jew, but the new Paul was a humble servant being used by God. The power of God working in him involved the revelation of the most precious portions of the Gospel of God's Grace. You should easily see the character of Paul portrayed in many portions of Scripture. Paul claims to have been the chief of sinners and the least of all Saints. To avoid confusion, please note that all Christians are Saints. They are Saints only because of the Grace and Gift of God, not because of recognized earthly deeds and the selection of men. Paul gives all Glory to God, and whatever is good is of and from God. More specifically, all good is God working in him and through him. Please see:

Romans 15:16  That I should be the minister of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles, ministering the gospel of God, that the offering up of the Gentiles might be acceptable, being sanctified by the Holy Ghost.

2 Corinthians 3:6  Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.

2 Corinthians 4:1  Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

Colossians 1:23  If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister;
Colossians 1:24  Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body's sake, which is the church:
Colossians 1:25  Whereof I am made a minister, according to the dispensation of God which is given to me for you, to fulfil the word of God;

Ephesians 3:8  Unto me, who am less than the least of all saints, is this grace given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ;

Romans 1:5  By whom we have received grace and apostleship, for obedience to the faith among all nations, for his name:

1 Corinthians 15:10  But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.

1 Timothy 1:14  And the grace of our Lord was exceeding abundant with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.
1 Timothy 1:15  This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.

Ephesians 3:20  Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

Ephesians 1:19  And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power,

Romans 15:18  For I will not dare to speak of any of those things which Christ hath not wrought by me, to make the Gentiles obedient, by word and deed,
Romans 15:19  Through mighty signs and wonders, by the power of the Spirit of God; so that from Jerusalem, and round about unto Illyricum, I have fully preached the gospel of Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:4  (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

2 Corinthians 10:5  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Colossians 1:29  Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.

1 Thessalonians 2:13  For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe.

Hebrews 13:21  Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
____________________
See Part 7

Ephesians 3 - Part 5

Ephesians 3:6  That the Gentiles should be fellowheirs, and of the same body, and partakers of his promise in Christ by the gospel:

Verse 6 Notes - He came unto HIS own, and HIS own received HIM not. Israel was and is God's chosen people, but they rejected Jesus Christ. As one result, the Gospel of the Grace of God was preached unto the Gentiles. It is hard to imagine what this meant to the peoples of the world who had been viewed as unclean and unworthy of the things of God. As an example that all can relate to, think of the word "Heir" as the promises and inheritance of a natural son. Israel represents the natural son, and the Gentiles represent adopted sons. God gave them the same promises of the Gospel and the same inheritance as children of God. Some beautiful portions of the Bible speak of the Gentiles being grafted into the natural vine, but the adoption comparison is easier to understand for most people. Most of Israel was still basking in their superior knowledge and their supposed self-righteousness, yet they rejected Jesus Christ. Regardless of their rejection of the Gospel of God's Grace, you can only imagine their pride and anger that the Gospel was being preached to the unclean heathens of the world, the Gentiles. Those who believed and accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour were made into one body and became members of the BODY OF CHRIST. Please see:

Ephesians 2:13  But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.
Ephesians 2:14  For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us;
Ephesians 2:15  Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace;
Ephesians 2:16  And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby:
Ephesians 2:17  And came and preached peace to you which were afar off, and to them that were nigh.
Ephesians 2:18  For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father.
Ephesians 2:19  Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;
Ephesians 2:20  And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;
Ephesians 2:21  In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord:
Ephesians 2:22  In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.

Romans 8:15  For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
Romans 8:16  The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
Romans 8:17  And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

Galatians 3:26  For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3:27  For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
Galatians 3:28  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3:29  And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Galatians 4:5  To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons.
Galatians 4:6  And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.
Galatians 4:7  Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.

Ephesians 4:15  But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
Ephesians 4:16  From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

Ephesians 5:30  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

Romans 12:5  So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.

1 Corinthians 12:12  For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:27  Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

Colossians 2:19  And not holding the Head, from which all the body by joints and bands having nourishment ministered, and knit together, increaseth with the increase of God.

Galatians 3:14  That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.
_____________________
See Part 6

A Rotten Day!

You know it's going to be a ROTTEN DAY when...
1.  You wake up face down on the footpath.
2.  You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better.
3.  You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
4.  You see a '60 Minutes' team waiting in your office.
5.  Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
6.  You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren't any.
7.  You put on the News and they are showing emergency routes out of  the city.
8.  Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
9.  Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of 'Hell's Angels' along the freeway.
10. The boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat.
11. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
12. You walk to work and then find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose (that's even more embarrassing for ladies).
13. You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
14. Your blind date turns out to be your wife.
15. Your income tax cheque bounces.
16. You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
17. Your wife say's 'Good morning, Bill' and your name is John.

Laws:

O'REILLY'S LAW OF THE KITCHEN
Cleanliness is next to impossible.

LIEBERMAN'S LAW
Everybody lies; but it doesn' matter, since nobody listens.

DENNISON'S LAW
Virtue is its own punishment.

GOLD'S LAW
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

HANDY GUIDE TO MODERN SCIENCE
If it's green or it wiggles - it's biology
If it stinks, it's chemistry
If it doesn't work, it's physics

CONWAY'S LAW
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what  is going on.  This person MUST be fired.

GREEN'S LAW OF DEBATE
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

STEWART'S LAW OF RETROACTION
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

FIRST RULE OF HISTORY
History doesn't repeat itself --- historians merely repeat each others.

FINSTER'S LAW
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

OLIVER'S LAW OF LOCATION
No matter where you go, there you are.

LYNCH'S LAW
When the going gets tough - everyone leaves.

GLYME'S FORMULA FOR SUCCESS
The secret of success is sincerity.  Once you can fake it, you've got it made.

MASON'S FIRST LAW OF SYNERGISM
The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.

THE SAUSAGE PRINCIPLE
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made.

HARRISON'S POSTULATE
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

HALON'S RAZOR
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

MUIR'S LAW
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

Useful Phrases:


"Akbar khalikili haftir lotfan"
(Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun)

"Shomaeh fekr tamomeh oeh gofteh bande"
(I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life)

"Auto arraregh davateman mano sephehhast"
(It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car)

"Khrel jepaheh maneh vajateii amrikahey"
(I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies travelling as  reporters)

"Balli, balli, balli!"
(Whatever you say!)

"Maternier ghermez ahlieh, ghorban"
(The red blindfold would be lovely, excellency)

"Tikeh nuneh ba ob khrelleh bezorg va khrube boyast ino begeram"
(The watersoaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe)

(This area is for men only, so you might be safe reading this)

The Rules Of Women:


The female always makes the rules.                        

No male can possibly know all the rules.                                                  

The rules are subject to change at any time without notification.                                              

If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she MUST immediately change some or all of the rules.                        

The female is never wrong.    

If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said.

If rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

The Male must never change his mind without written consent from the Female.    

The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.    

The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.    

Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.

If the Female has PMS, all rules are null and void.

You Know Your Getting Old When...

You have breakfast in bed as a necessity rather than as a luxury.
You remember that your teen heart throb was Vincent Price.
You hear about CROWDED HOUSING and think it is some sort of new federal program.
You are anxiously awaiting your local yogurt store to come out with "oatmeal bran" flavor.
You can no longer even remember your true hair color.
You have stopped counting freckles and started tabulating age spots.
You hear a Beatles record on the elevator at the Doctor's Building and you know the words.
The salesgirls laugh when you suggest that white is the color for a wedding.
Your favorite radio star is given an award, posthumously.
You see antique stores selling old Remington Portable Typewriters, and you purchase one.
Your doctor is just old enough to be your grand-daughter.
You remember when the outfit you are wearing was first in style.
You realize that if John Wayne were your age, he would be dead 22 years.
The kid who repairs your windshield wiper is the same age as your greatgrandson.
You keep shopping for a shampoo with Lanolin extract in it.
Plowing the fields involved putting the harness on the horse.
You sign a petition for Lawrence Welk Show reruns on the local television station.
You ask for beer shampoo and no one knows what you are talking about.
You know what Bon Ami is.
You reach for Watkin's Liniment for any sort of pain.
You recall when milk came in glass bottles and they were recycled automatically
You used to enjoy your bath with floating soap and trying to sink it.
You can remember getting tired legs simply from using the sewing machine.
You knew a time when people who worked in shoe stores knew something about shoes.
You can remember when there was no such thing as a phone answering machine.
You recall asking your wife's parents for permission to take her on a date.
You survived entire summers without air conditioning.
You really enjoyed brushing your teeth with Colgate.
You remember that all people did with grass was cut it.
Your idea of obscenity is jogging.
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
You sink your teeth into a nice steak and they stay there.
You can make the wrinkles you see in the mirror disappear, simply by taking off your glasses.
You get your full share of exercise acting as a pallbearer for those who took their exercise.
You stop buying natural foods, because you need all the preservatives you can get.
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
You feel like the night before, and you haven't been anywhere.
You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it is leaning against the wrong wall.
You join a health club and don't go.
You get out of the shower and are glad the mirror is all fogged up.
That gleam in your eye is from the sun, hitting your bifocals.
You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
Your little black book contains lots of names, all of which end in M.D.
You get winded, playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You decide to procrastinate, but never get around to doing it.
You are still chasing women, but you can't remember why.
Your favorite feature in the newspaper is "Twenty-Five Years Ago Today."
Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before you apply the second coat.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You turn out the light for economic rather than romantic reasons.
You are l7 around the neck, 54 around the waist, and 96 around the golf course.
You remember today that yesterday was your anniversary.
You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
That little gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
The best part of your day is over when the alarm clock goes off.
You walk around with your head held high, trying to get used to the trifocals.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't make it go.
Your idea of a long trip is to the BACK of the K-Mart.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
Your pharmacist offers to carry the bag of medicines to the car for you.
You go to the barber shop and the barber asks why.
You're startled as someone addresses you as "old timer," for the first time.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You burn the midnight oil after 9:00 PM.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up and down as you watch a young girl walk by.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
You regret making all those mistakes, resisting temptations.
You really don't look forward to celebrating your next birthday.
You not only get a senior citizen discount, but the clerk comments you should!
Your idea of a sports event is a wheelchair race.
You get tired watching the fish swim around in the aquarium.
Most of your day is spent making appointments with different doctors.
You get up at night and go to the bathroom and can't recall why.
You check the obituaries in the paper for your daily status report.
A funeral director calls and makes idle conversation, asking how you feel.
Pushing the buttons on the remote control for television is confusing.
You sit and envy your parakeet for the energy it has to move around so much.
You find TV ads for new laxatives interesting.
You lose an argument with a phone answering device.
Your idea of a complete day is to be able to finish the crossword puzzle.
You argue with your best friend about which denture adhesive is better.
You take real interest in hospital admissions listed in the paper, to keep track of your friends.
You've been driving for 46 years and are now upset about taking a driver exam.
You visit a friend in the hospital and the emergency staff come toward you with a wheelchair.
While trying to work out your hospital bill, you  to take medication for your blood pressure.
That last visit to the specialist cost you more than you earned in the first four years at work.
Taking out a three year subscription to a magazine is an act of positive thinking and optimism.
You decide to put off one more day what you decided to put off one more day.
You find yourself taking pleasure in comparative shopping cemetery lots.
You really don't care who wins the Reader's Digest Sweepstakes.
No matter who is elected or what they say, taxes get raised.
You can remember when Doctors recommended Chesterfield Cigarettes 5 to l.
Your idea of strenuous exercise is a Bridge tournament.
You get excited simply watching the Weather Channel on television.
You go to the Mall not to shop but get a free blood pressure examination.
You look forward to the next sale on Supporthose.
You go to a sporting goods store to check prices on walking shoes.
Licking stamps on your letters is a hard day's work.
Thinking about alternatives just wears you out.
You've got it all together, but you don't remember what to do with it.
The doctor tells you that you are as sound as a dollar, and you get very upset and worried.
Your idea of a wild drinking party is a medium size Coca Cola.
You notice that your high school classmate looks older than sin.
You are on a first name basis with the chief surgical nurse at the hospital.
You can recall when service stations actually were.
You call the ambulance dispatcher and he tells you your address.
You begin to lose hope of ever finishing your Green Stamp book.
You can remember when it wasn't necessary to call the bank before the plumber.


(Now - This is a groaner)

[DarkSucker!]

     Dreamweaver, Those are not groaners - this is a groaner:

I'm developing a new lightbulb. It's called the:

DarkSucker!

Brother Love,

Thanks Brother. This is a very beautiful and moving portion of Scripture. The contrasts and comparisons are much more dramatic IN TRUTH than any fiction that could have been written. Paul was a prisoner in many ways, but his apprehension and captivity by the Grace and Love of God overshadowed all.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Oklahoma Howdy to Dreamweaver and Reba,

I think that both of you are right.

Sister Reba, "If ya have to ask........... " gets right to the heart of the matter.

I'm wondering if the US Military would be interested in the land mine detector.  

Love In Christ,
Tom

[WHO DO YOU SERVE?]

RichardElchrist Said:

I am not a prophet. I wouldn't survive long in this world (or this forum probably  ) if I was. But I am a protector of and warrior for The One some call Prophet. For if He were to appear in many a 'house of worship' today He wouldn't make it to the exit 'alive'.  And to sacrifice prematurely is no sacrifice at all and saves nothing, only wastes.
I am merely forging the path and 'clearing the land mines' laid down by the Great Deceiver's 'worker bees'. So I am. I am guided, I dictate not the direction nor the guiding.

UM???, Richard, I missed this, so I join others here in asking who this so-called prophet is. We can immediately rule out God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit because they are ONE, ALMIGHTY GOD! Almighty God doesn't need the protection of men to attend our church services. Almighty God has no fear of your so-called land mines laid down by the devil, nor does HE fear the devil. God will deal with evil and the devil at HIS appointed time and manner, ACCORDING TO HIS WILL AND PURPOSE established before the foundation of the world.

Richard, it is time for you to quit playing your self-righteous game of charades and tell us who you serve and who you claim to be. To do less would show shame in your master, whoever that might be. We've recently had three self-proclaimed Messiahs, one King, and one to bring us back to the Law on the forum. They were banned from Christians Unite. Are you one of them back or one of their followers?

If so, you are wasting our time and your time. The charades are over. Who do you think you are, and what so-called prophet do you serve? Most of us here DIRECTLY serve Jesus Christ, God the Son, VERY GOD, ALMIGHTY GOD.

WHO DO YOU SERVE?

Moderator