Please, forgive me in advance for the following...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man.  "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places
it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?" "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.  My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man. The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Hold on to your hats for this quote, folks:

“Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever!”
Jesus Christ

“According to Liberty Counsel, Frances Smith, the district administrator, says the Hanukkah songs are more cultural than spiritual and thus are OK to sing.”

The ‘district administrator’ has slapped the face of God and His chosen people.  Reducing Judaism to simply a “culture”?  Whoa!  Talk about minimalizing God!

Silly liberals.

Lord, have mercy on those who chose ignorance.  Find a way into their hearts, dear Jesus, and deliver them from the darkness in which they reside.  

Though I have faith as to move mountains, yet do I not have charity (love), I am nothing.
1 Cor 13:2

I resent that, too!  
 

That's a keeper.

Hope you're doin' well, WB.

God bless you for being you.
JN

Brother BEP said:

I think that you will really enjoy Texas. The people in this part of the country are generally plain, down-to-earth folks who are primarily Christians. I'll be praying that God grants you safety during your move.

I spent a good deal of my life near Amarillo - in fact I've been through Lawton umpteen times.  But this will be my first Hill Country experience.  I've already installed mud flaps so the armadillo mess doesn't splash on the guy behind me.  No armadillos in Amarillo (too cold) but the jack-rabbits are so big they have antlers like an antelope.  I know it's true.  I seen one once mounted and hangin' on a wall in a truck stop near Happy, TX.
 

God bless - I'll check back when I plug back in.
Jim

PS - I know prayer lists have been long as of late.  I just want to encourage everyone to keep our troops in your prayers without fail.  Praise Jesus for their bravery and sacrifice.

Jesus+bravery+sacrifice=USA

That's a winning formula.

[I’ll]

Allinall said way back up there about a dozen or so posts:

I do, however, need a son...

Dude!
This is your LUCKY day!  I’ll be your son!

Hey – I’m “done-growed-up”, so you don’t even have to worry about going through the severe lower back pain of raising me.  

Just think - no 3 AM feeding, no “burp-up” down your back, and you’ll never have to lecture me about skid-marks in the under-drawers.  That’ll all be behind us. (choke)  (Ha-ha!  I kill me!)  

Yep – we can skip all that.  All you have to do is start sending me money NOW.  I’ll PM you my mailing address.

Thanks DAD!  
JudgeNot

PS – and Dad – if you ever get into serious trouble you know all you have to do is call me.  Just give me your location and I’ll call 911 for you.  I’ll PM you my private 17 digit access line and 10 character alpha-numeric passcode to leave me a voice mail.  

PSS – please PM me a valid card number and expiration date… my fridge is really empty…  Have you seen gas prices lately???!!!

PSSS – Sorry about the front of the car.  But it’s not all that bad – just the quarter panel, hood and bumper (headlight and radiator).  But not to worry - we were real lucky – even the arresting police officer said so.  He said “You’re lucky no one was killed.”  Must be the luck of us Irish, huh Dad?  

PSSSS – Dad – did I mention the car insurance may be going up?  
 

Before I forget it, we've been missing you. We all like you, so your sentence for being AWOL is pretty light.

Ah, shucks, Boss.  I wasn’t off-line that long.  

Praise the Lord, my transfer finally came through to our Austin office.  I’ve been moving.  And moving and moving and moving…  And I’m still moving, and moving, and moving…

But the Lord has been wonderful.

Our CA house was so small that it shows better empty.  So we sold almost everything and I moved into a tiny apartment and my wife loaded her truck and went on to Texas.  The house was on the market for 3 days and sold for the asking price (about 225% over what I paid for it just 5 years ago).  Our God is an awesome God.  It’s been in escrow and is supposed to close on 10/6 at which time I hightail it to Austin where I begin work on 10/17.  So I’ll be off-line for another period of time beginning Monday or Tuesday.

When I get to Texas I’ll rent for several months while we look for the “perfect Hill Country cottage” on a few acres.  Then we’ll move AGAIN.

I wasn’t as lucky with my boat as I was the house, so I’m taking it with me – I’ve already got a slip reserved on Lake Travis.  Wow – making arrangements for transport of a 30’ boat is a REAL pain.  But I think it will be worth it – I want to finally be able to use it as a youth ministry tool for what ever church I connect with in the area.  I want to take the youth minister along with four or five boys at a time out, teach them something of safe boating and maritime skills, with heavy doses of prayer, witnessing and fellowship.  If it’s the Lord’s will, it will work out.  

Our God is an AWESOME God.  

I’ll post as time and connections allow.

God bless you each and every one.
Jim

I view the Cross as the center of ALL history...

That is beautifully profound in it's simplicity, Reba.
God bless you and Amen.  The Truth is so obvious.  Amen again.

You know, don't you, that the LA forest/brush fire is burning hotter because of glabal warming.

Yep.  And it's George Bush's fault.

If Algore or Skerry were president, hurricanes would turn into gentle tropical rains and fires would only happen at weinie roasts.  9-11 would never have happened, and all those poor african-american folks in New Orleans would be rich white europeans - like they were when Clinton was 'in charge'.  

The thought of man-induced global warming to anyone who has a clue about natural science is ludicrous.  Those glaciers that have disappeared?  They've been disappearing since God put them there - way before SUVs.

Those who are proponents of man-induced global warming are simply the power hungry individuals looking for yet another yoke to use to control the masses.

Just like chicken little and the guy who yells fire in a crowded building - they are fairly worthless individuals wasting perfectly good oxygen.

That is until the Lord gets hold of them...
 
 

 

I was praying so hard I was crying as I watched it land on live TV.

Prayer is a powerful thing.

I'd like to make my 1973-rd post something of substance - I'd like Allinall to ready me for the near future by explaining the overallinall experience one feels as he allinall together surpasses the 2k barrier.

Joy?  Fatigue?  Going to Disney Land?  Wally World?  Is there any nausia at allinall?  If there's nausia - I'm changing my handle and starting over...  Watch for 'JudgeDid' coming to a forum near you...

See Y'allinall round the bend...

 

ZD - good stuff.
Praise the Lord for leading you to share with us.

Faith.  Hope.  Charity.

Love.

[IS]

Yes, God IS good!
Praise be to Him.  Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever...

I'm glad for you that you've found an oasis.