I want to thank you all for the prayers that were sent out...I thank God for you and as the bible says that whatsover things you desire when you pray to believe it and you shall have it. I prayed for restoration and cleansing and even though it has been a long and tiring battle I am able to hold my head up and look up to my Father and cry thank you. I have learned a lot about myself and the test that I failed. Not to be ignorant to the enemies devices, I make it a day by day confession to trust and depend on the Lord and seek the protection of the Holy Spirit. God is indeed magnificent that He has taken me and kept me in His loving arms. Now to be used as a vessel for Him so that He can get the glory, it is always good to hear of prosperity and healings but restoration and reconciliation is a glorious thing in which the devil is put to shame and God's love is shown. As I have stated it has not been an easy road but one day at a time and a total transformation of my mind God has delivered me. Again thanks to the awesome prayer warriors on this site for interceeding on my behalf my heart is truly grateful, it was not in vain.

Taking one day at a time and working out my soul salvation with trembling and fear- Heart of David

I am so desperate for something....It all began 6 weeks ago I am a 25 year old mother and wife and an active member in church training for ministry and all was going well. I recently returned on a missions trip with my church and then this is when my life went from one of living radical for the Lord wanting nothing but to please Him to the torment of hell that surrounds me now. On the plane ride back one of the ministers that went who is 11 years my senior said something to me that now I wish I could have dealt with then...He admitted to me that he had wanted me and had for 2.5 years and cared for me he wanted to be physical with me. Now in my mind I knew that was beyond wrong especially after all the great revelation and surrundering I did to God on this trip....but this is what kills my soul is that I somehow entertained this statement and agreed to engage in sin. All the while saying that we loved eachother, denying the thing that was burning in our souls yada yada... All I know now is that when I look back I did not have the armor of God on and did not resist the devil and flee yet I allowed him to subdue me and murder me. I ended this horrid affair a few days ago after I had attempted many times but this time God showed me a dream as a warning of the penalty of sin which is death.. Upon ending this affair which did get physical I cried so hard over the sin I have commited ashamed at the very thing I was so adament against. Now here it is not knowing what to do feeling so seperated from God with noone to talk to at all. My church is small and we are a close knit family.....I have confessed my sins to a great woman of God who is my friend but she is far away and I am struggling to not lose it and just allow God to turn me to a reprobate mind I am so ashamed where I don't even want forgiveness. Hating the very person I see in the mirror, looking to my husband knowing I am utter trash although he says he will stay with me through anything. What kind of Christian woman does this happen to? I thought I loved God with all my heart for all that He has delivered me from but now I see that what the devil said about me is true. Who can rise from the ashes to be made whole again? I don't think I can although Jesus went to the cross for all sin I cannot forgive myself especially when I knew that it was wrong all the while trying to fight but it was like my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. I know now to never put any confidence in this flesh its ultimate goal is to sin and sin kills you.

I am posting this not to be further condemned I am sorry beyond words and have truly repented to God, I am hoping for wise woman of God to help me get up and let God heal me so that I won't die. I know His word as I think of how Jesus is faithful and just to forgive of ALL sins, but what about me. I want to walk out on my family my 3 children, church, friends and family to just die than live with this and for them to know and it destroy them.  If you are a prayer warrior and look for those who have sinned to be restored back to the father as when David was restored please I am begging and praying that God send me someone....I am so on the verge of suicide and I know that the enemy is having a field day and right now he is winning. I am owning my sin not looking to escape judgement but am sincerly looking for a light to show me that God has not thrown me away to satan. Please again I know this will stir a lot of hatred and judgement as I too once was cheated on by my own husband so I know that side but I need love the Love of Jesus to help heal this gash in my soul.