I'm always perplexed as to how verses about marriage, the directive to Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply", the story of Onan, and the idea that children are blessings has come to be interpreted to mean that we each need to have as many children as we can.

I think that children most certainly are blessings from God, and I agree that we need to trust God in our lives -- but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to understand and act responsibly within the world He has created. If I were to break my arm, I wouldn't sit in my living room and pray for God to heal it without heading to the emergency room to have it set. I don't think going to a doctor is a sin -- does God not want us to help ourselves and learn how we can do that in the world He has created? Your bone will grow itself back together (quite a miracle!) if you set the ends together. As long as we give credit to God, rather than the doctors who are simply working within the biological framework God created, I think we're probably ok.

Similarly, God's biology requires that a new life will be formed if an egg is penetrated by a sperm. If God didn't want us to be able to have some say in the creation of our own children, why wouldn't He just make women pregnant as He saw fit, whenever He determined that a man and his wife should have a child? Rather, he wisely gave us some measure of control over the decision to bring a new life into the world by requiring a willful act to put sperm and egg together. That's not to say that the minute we want children we can have them without God's help -- not all attempts at pregnancy are successful. That end of things is, indeed, in God's hands.

I absolutely see children as blessings. Which is why I would like to have them in a number that I feel I can responsibly parent, and at a time when I am able to provide for them. I'm not saying my life has to be perfect before I start a family, but since I have some control over the matter I would like to be emotionally ready and not have so many kids that it will compromise the time that each of them deserves. I want to be able to shower my little blessings with all the love and attention they deserve, and I think I'll be able to do that better with 3 kids than I would with 13. But that's just me. Maybe you'd rather have 13 kids. Go for it! Thankfully, God in his infinite wisdom has provided that the egg/sperm requisite for pregnancy involves a deliberate act on the part of those involved, so you can to some degree have an influence on the timing and frequency of your pregnancies.

The Bible says be fruitful and multiply. This directive was made to Adam and Eve in Genesis 1:28 when they were the only two people on Earth. Doesn't it seem reasonable that what God was saying there was along the lines of: God loves human beings and wants them to procreate in order to that the species of His creation may flourish and enjoy this great big Earth He created for them to live in? I don't think He meant that each and every one of us needs to do our part to personally try to "fill" the Earth by popping out as many kids as we possibly can until the Earth can't hold any more. Why in the world would we read it that way?

As a species, I think we've filled the Earth pretty well. Human beings now inhabit every continent on the planet, with cities, towns, villages, tribes and clans setting up camp in every climate imaginable.

Even the Catholic church, which is against contraception, but advocates "Natural Family Planning" because it holds that a couple should practice "responsible parenthood", and that leaving pregnancies "to chance" when, for example, a couple is struggling to provide for existing children is not an act of faith, but rather an improper "test" of God. Here's a good article for a summary of the Catholic viewpoint: http://www.christopherwest.com/article4.asp.

As for the story of Onan, he was expressly instructed to have sex his brother's wife for the purpose of having children for his brother. Gen 38:8. He purposefully decided that he didn't want to get his sister-in-law pregnant because he didn't want to give kids to his brother. So he acted in a way so as to make people think he was doing what he was told, while clandestinely thwarting the directive. Gen 38:9. God punished him for acting the way he did. Gen 38:10. It seems clear to me that Onan was being punished for blatent disobedience exercised in the spirit of prideful selfishness.  Don't you think God would have been similarly displeased if Onan had, for example, deliberately engaged in Natural Family Planning in order to deliberately try to avoid impregnating his sister-in-law? (I don't think NFP is any different from contraception ... )

I say, have your children and love them with all your heart and soul because they are indeed blessings. If you want to have sex for the sole purpose of having children and want to have as many as come to you by these means, that's great (and brave!) If you want two or three kids, that's great too. God bless.