As  a  young  black  Christian  guy  living  in  American  society, I have come to notice  many  things.  Some  of  them are truly  frightening.  So  scary  that  I  try  to  warn  people  about them  but  no one  listens.   This  is  the  hard  truth.  It  may chill, it may provoke.  I am  rather  certain  it  will  leave a mark.






I try to do what I call everyday activism.


There is a lot of injustice in this world. In America, the justice system is biased.....against Men.


All kinds of bad things happen to Men. A Woman can make a false accusation of rape against a man and lawyers and prosecutors automatically believe her. The Man is seen as
Guilty without evidence or proof needed. Man ? Bad. Woman ? Good. That's the way the system works in America. But is that the way it should ?


A man who was married to a woman for years learns from his wife that she wants a divorce. She is angry and bitter. If she wants to, she can make sure that he never sees the children again. She can say that he was physically abusive to her and the children. She can say that he is dangerous. The Cops and Prosecutors will automatically believe her. The Man is always seen as the Bad Guy and the Woman as his Helpless Victim.

This sucks !!!!!!!!!


A man working in corporate America is doing his job and some lady gets mad at him for no reason. She accuses him of Sexual Harassment. Automatically, the system thinks he is guilty. They never even acknowledge the fact that......He Might Be Innocent.


A woman physically assaults a man. She hurts him. He was raised as a Gentleman and doesnt want to hurt her. She will hurt him and then lie to the Cops and say that HE was the one who hurt HER. The police will believe Her over Him any day.


This is NOT fair !!!!!


Feminist Organizations depict all men as evil and that is NOT true.


There are countless SHELTERS for WOMEN who are VICTIMS of Domestic Violence done by MEN.

There are no SHELTERS for MEN who are VICTIMS of Domestic Violence done by WOMEN.

This also isn't fair.


Men and Women suffer and both should be able to rely on the System to help them.
Yet that's not the way it is.


Someone needs to do something about that. More Men need to Speak Up about this. Don't be afraid. Join forces with others who are in the same boat. YOU are NOT alone.

I am going to try to be nice here because this subject is very, very close to my heart.

A man who was married to a woman for years learns from his wife that she wants a divorce. She is angry and bitter. If she wants to, she can make sure that he never sees the children again. She can say that he was physically abusive to her and the children. She can say that he is dangerous. The Cops and Prosecutors will automatically believe her. The Man is always seen as the Bad Guy and the Woman as his Helpless Victim.

Most of what you talked about I know about personally, but this part hits closer to home. I am one of those women that was very abused by my x-husband. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally abused for 5 years until I decided that I had had enough and that I wanted to protect my children from having to live in a violent home. There are police reports as well as witnesses to the abuse to back up everything that I say.

When I decided to leave him, I got stalked. One day I got a ride to work (I had no car of my own at that time) from a guy that I worked with. My x followed us to town threatening to KILL both of us. He had to be thrown off the property. I had to get a restraining order against him. Once the devorce was final things were OK for a while until I told him that I was remarrying. That's when the problems started up again. See things were ok as long as I didn't stand up to my x and let him talk do do whatever he wated to do to me, but that all came to an end when I remarried and my x knew he wouldn't have any controll over me anymore. BTW we have been devorced for 4 years now. In 2002, my x threatened to KILL me and my husband just because I had the nerve to hung up on him. I then had to get an order of protection against him. This ran out in April of 2003 since he was stationed in Korea and I couldn't get it extended out.

Now that he is back in the states, he won't leave me alone. He managed to find out where I live at. He drives by my house several times a day and even parks a couple of blocks down watching my house. He has also told several people that he wants me off the face of the earth and when they ask him if he is saying that he wants me dead, he says, "yes, I want her dead." I can't get an order of protection against him. The judge said that I cna't get one because he didn't personally tell me that he wants me dead. He has also said that if he can't have me no one can have me. (Talk about obsessed?) He also stalks me through town. I work for my dad. He owns a satellite instalation business and I run his business for him. I am there every day by myself most of the time. He calls me up and tells me that he knows that I am there alone. He constantly follows me and I can't do anything about it. And, yes, there are police reports to prove this as well.

See, this is where the MAN is winning and is continuing to try to destroy my life and make me a nervous wreck and I can't do anything about it. One other thing, he knows too many people on the police department (including an x-brother-in-law) that keep letting him get away with everything.

This man has bragged about having the judges and the police in his back pocket. I have that on several taped conversations with him. You would think that the police department and the judges wouldn't like someone saying that about them and try to put a stop to him, but that hasn't happened yet and I don't see it happening any time soon.

My point here is that women aren't as protected and believed as you think they are. I know that women do get away with a lot, but in my case, this man has gotten away with everything but murder. Is it going to take him hurting me really bad or murdering me before someone does anything to me?

Hello Everyone,

I have a prayer request. My husband's aunt Carolynn has been recently diagnosed with a severe brain tumer (sp?). She also has a couple of small cists on her brain as well. The tumer is not operable. She is having to go through major chemo. She isn't doing very well right now. She is also having trouble not getting depressed because of the tumer. She is a Christian. I would like for everyone to keep her and our family in your prayers. I know that God can completely heal her and she knows that, too. In the meantime, she needs God's help to give her peace in her mind and the strength to continue with the chemo  . The rest of the family needs God's help in strength to be there for her when she needs them and to know what to say when needed and to know when not to say anything at all. Carolynn really needs everyone's prayers. Please take the time to say a little prayer for her.

May God Bless All of you,
Christina  

This isn't following anyone else's line of argument, but what if.....

well, what if someone is wrongly convicted? That has happened. The death penalty is pretty final; can't be reversed; at least imprisonment (while it can't be reversed) isn't final (unless the person dies in jail).

We don't have the death penalty, but because I am not entirely sure, I'm glad I wouldn't have to decide about it. I wouldn't want to be on a jury for a trial with the death penalty.

Gracey

Gracey,
I totally agree with you. I know that if I was on a jury and sentenced a person to death and after he/she was put to death found out the person was innocent, I couldn't live with myself. Knowing I had something to do with the death of an innocent person would always be on my mind. I also think that as long as the person is alive there is still hope that he/she will get saved. I am a strong believer in the battles of the mind. If it were someone in my family that got killed, I would want the person to spend the rest of his/her life in prison without the possibility of parole, because the person would have to think about what he/she did and know that there is no chance of EVER seeing the other side of the fence  or have freedom again. Who knows, the person may become roommates with someone called "Bubba" in there. lol

Hello Everyone,

My name is Christina. I am new to Christianunite. I am 28 years old, married and we have 6 children between us. I have 4 kids and he has 2, but we both claim each other's children as our own.

Now on with a little background about my situation. A little over a year ago, my husband got pulled over for a DUI (I know you are thinking - Uh Oh!!). Well, I managed to keep that from just about everyone. Well, on September 26 of last year, he got pulled over again, but was convicted on his perscription meds. Well, the day that he got pulled over was when the baby's father was supposed to get him for visitation. Needless to say, he managed to find out about the DUI since my youngest was in the car when he got pulled over. I wasn't with him when this happened. I was down in my back and had gone to the ER really early that morning and didn't even know that he left the house until I got the call saying he was in jail. Ok, back to the story...

The baby's father didn't bring him back and filed for an emergency removal as well as found out how to contact my x-hubby concerning the other 3 children of mine. What things boil down to is that both fathers worked together to take my children away from me. In the meantime, hubby came to me for help and asked me to get him into a Christian rehabilitation program called Teen Chellenge which is a year long program. He has been there since January 15 the day that he got out of jail. He is doing great there and there has been some BIG changes in him. Our love for each other has grown really strong. We both have grown really close to God, too.

Here is my problem, my oldest 3 kids are in a home where there is a lot of fighting, drinking, drugs and abuse being done to the kids. There have been several reports to the local Department of Children's Services with them not doing anything to protect the kids. I have been even told by a few from that office that it's going to take something drastic happening to one of the kids before they will remove them. I can't see how more drastic you could get than, "Daddy threw a knife at me." and a severe ear infection where my daughter was so infected inside and outside her ear up into her hair line that caused a hole in her ear drumb. I was told that she would have to lose part of her hearing before they could do anything to my x.

I am very frustrated because I get to hear from the kids what is going on down there. It is very heartbreaking to have them beg me not to make them go back to him and to have to tell them that they have to go back. That they can't live with me like they want to. I keep praying about it and keep doing God's will in my life. I thought that maybe you all could pray for my children that God will keep them safe until he can return them back to me. We go back to court on the 10th of this month. Please keep us in your prayers.

God Bless All of You,
Christina

;DHello and welcome! Im also new, and from Tennessee! What part of Tennessee are you from?

Hey twin in TN and SisterInChrist,

I am also new to Christiansunite and from TN. I am from North Western TN. Where are you both from?

God Bless Both of You,
Christina

Hi All,

You know, there are women who I feel terrible about.  Their husband is like an additional child.  He brings home the paycheck AFTER he stops at the bar.  Any chance to run away and escape responsibility WILL be taken advantage of.  The wife has to hold the man to his responsibilities.  She's got to make every decision in the house--plus, she has an additional child who has full control of all the household's money plus a driver's license.  He does not take a lead in the household.  None.  He thinks he's a good father because the kids love him best because he's their best friend--he never scolds or disciplines.  The disciplinarian is the mom.  It's a terrible terrible situation.  In no way am I ever going to begin to say this is the way things should be.    

The mom has to carry the whole weight.  Then there's also families where the mom is some sort of lazy person that doesn't know how to use a broom.  You go over to their house and there's not a full square inch of carpeting without some sort of grime or crud on it.  It's disgusting.  And the husband is no where to be found until the paycheck is gone.  And there's another baby on the way.  This world isn't a right place.  I do agree with the Word in the way that God ordained families to be.  But in this world, it's not always that way.  People that need help need help in the place that they are at.

Thought I would point that out.  

My point is, I'm not arguing with the scriptures, but I think that women in communities make a big difference in places where people need role models and guidance.  Women lead by the Holy Spirit can make a difference in many people's lives.  

So, I guess I'm saying these things because its not about arguing what the ideal thing is, its about living in the world.  We can sit in our lofty places and say all kinds of words, but what we want to do is LIVE OUT HIS LOVE.  We want to LIVE OUT what we know.  We want to interpret the scriptures with our lives and not just with our minds.

Peace

Candice,
I can relate with what you said. My first marriage was exactly like that. I believed that it was my DUTY to stay with him no matter how bad it got and things got really, really bad. I was abused mentally, physically and emotionally. I was one of those wives that felt like I had to do whatever he said I had to do no matter what it was or who it hurt. He was one of those husbands that wanted a wife and children at home but wanted to be able to do the "single guy" thing. It didn't matter how much I pryed for him. My mother's words that she said to him came crashing down one day when he abused me with my kids in my arms. Se when, I was barely 18, she told him he was satan himself. He laughed and said, "Yep, you found me out." At the time, I ignored what she said.  10 years later, and still trying to get away from him, I believe that he isn't rightw ith God by no means and follows satan's wishes.

To make matters worse, I remarried almost 3 years ago. At the time, my husband was a Christain. Notice, I said "at the time." After about a year, he started resorting to pills and alcohol. I soon found myself in a place where I felt like I was rasing another child. We have 6 kids between us. 4 that are mine and 2 that are his kids but we claim each otehr's kids as our own. Not like I didn't have enough children to raise but to raise a grown man on top of it (that's how I felt). After a year of trying to solve the problems on my own by limiting his money, the amount of time that he was alone with the car, trying to watch every move that he made, and several fights over me being too controlling, I decided that it was in our best interest to turn the problems over to God and let him deal with them instead of me. Once I did that, my husband saw where he was wrong asked me for help and is currently getting the Godly help that he has needed for a long time. I have noticed a BIG change in him over the past 7 months that I attribute solely to God. We still have a ways to go until our family is completely reunited but when that day comes, we will have a great testimony to share of how satan riped our family apart but God put it back together again.

God Bless You,
Christina

[knew]

God's way works! I'm living proof! The problem with your examples earlier - about 'following' an ungodly husband - is that we should let the Lord lead us to a husband. The problems arise when we do it our way....

What happens if we marry the man God has for us and down the road that man stops being a Godly leader in the home?

I saw this earlier and wanted to wait and prayerfully answer you.

Some thoughts.....
We are our husband's helper not his keeper. Therefore, you can't control him but you can control you. By that; I mean that you can control your own attitudes, actions, etc.

The least, and most, you can do is pray. Pray for a better attitude, outlook, heart, whatever the problem is you're having with dealing with the situation.

Pray for your husband. Pray that God will work on his heart, pray that God will guide him to be the spiritual leader in your home. Pray that God opens your eyes so that you can see your husband as God sees him.

Start your day with prayer to give you the strength to get through each day. No worries about tomorrow; just strength for that day ("give us this day our *spiritual* daily bread").

Remember that when your husband is most unloveable is when he most needs to be loved. Remember why you married him. Remember how you knew he was the one God had for you! Then think about the situation now and see if you can find why God put you together. Was it for just a time as this? When you're husband is most down? When he would need for you to be strong? Did he know that any other woman might nag or belittle or berate and that you were just the one that wouldn't? Did He know that this would be a strengthening of your relationship with Him? God can handle all your frustrations and anger and fear and resentment. Take it to Him!

When these times pass, will your husband look back and KNOW that his wife will stand by him through anything - because man, those were hard times and he learned to trust her? Will he remember tough times and smile because he had a wife that loved and respected him till he got back on his feet?

Turn it over to God and LEAVE it there! Stay in His Word! Read Proverbs 31. Read it again. Re-read it.

sincereheart,

That is exactly what I had to do. I knew that God had put my husband and I together for a reason. My husband had gone astray from God. I prayed that God would touch his heart so that he would see that he needed help. God did that and my husband asked for my help and asked that I get him set up for Teen Chellenge which is a year long Christian rehabilitation program. I respected my husband's wishes and got him set up to go there.

While he is there, I have to make all the family decisions. I have trusted God to see that my husband turns to God and not his old ways. I have seen such a change in my husband since he has been there. The change is from him trusting in God and from all the prayers that I continue to make.

In one letter from my husband he told me how much he loves me for standing beside him and not throwing up what has happened in his face. He also says that he knows how much I love him. Our love for each other has grown stronger. When he does come home, nothing will tear our bond with each other apart, because that bond is made through God's love not just man's love. See God told me not to give up on my husband and to stand by him. God has an ultimate plan for us and one day that plan will be revealed to us. By praying for my husband and letting God take care of the rest, God has worked wonders in his life and in mine.

Christina

[Colossians 3:18]

Colossians 3:18 - "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."

Neo,
What is your interpretation of this verse? Is she a door mat? Does she have to wait on him hand and foot just because he says so?

The bible also says that she is his HELPMATE..... The way that I understand the bible is that she is equal to her husband and that yes the husband is the head of the household as long as he is right with God and God's will. I am in a situation in my own home where I have taken the role of being the head of the household. This is because my hubby is currently in a year long Christian Rehabilitation program called Teen Challenge. Before he went in, he wasn't a Christian at all and I was told by God that I needed to make the decisions that were best for our family based on God's wishes for us. If it had not been for me following what God said for me to do, my husband wouldn't be where he is at right now. He is a Christian now and is doing wonderful and in a few months he will be home. When he comes home, he will be the head of our household again. See if I had submitted to my husband instead of what God wanted, where would my family be at today? My husband and I would have devorced instead of our love for God and each other growing stronger.

God Bless You,
Christina  

Should women be able to be pastors, preachers, priests etc?
What type of leadership roles should they have in the church?

How about at home?
Who should be in leadership at home?

I have a couple of questions for you: Doesn't the bible tell us to go and teach the nations? Does it say that just man is supposed to go and teach the nations or all Christians are supposed to?

Just a thought....
Christina

I voted unite. I agree with Ollie. We are supposed to be united and not devided. Last night was my first night on Christiansunite.com. One thing that I keep seeing is how upset people were getting over their interpretation of what the bible says. Two particular people and I won't mention any names kept hashing back and forth at each other. I was actually rather frustrated with the whole thing not to mention very confused. To someone that is new to Christianity, some of the posts could actually turn the person away from Christianity all together. For the most part, the posts were great and uplifting, but those that aren't can really hurt not just the person the post was intended for put those of us reading it. Now I don't mean to get down on anyone about this. I am just stating my opinion here. We should be united. It is one thing to discuss the bible but it is another thing to allow our flesh to take over, because when that happens, someone ends up getting upset or gets hurt feelings and may even turn away from God all together. That would kind of defeat the purpose of the discussions all together. Right?

Anyways, God Bless You all,
Christina

It is no secrete that we Christians/church goers are living in a world of non-believers… many questions surface because of this very fact.  These may include… how do I witness to others… what missions should I work in… and so on… Likewise, it is on a daily basis that we have interactions with non-believers.  No doubt, I am not alone in wondering how to react to their lifestyle… which often includes some type of “twisting” of the truth…  Stumbling across the following story I could not help but believe this was the best approach considering the circumstances…

Two college students had almost completed the semester of Basic Christianity and were going into the last week of class, each with an “A” average.  Feeling confident they could pass the final examination, they decided to take off on the Friday before the Monday exam and head to a neighboring school for a party with some friends.  They stayed over too late on Saturday night and were unable to travel on Sunday.  They didn’t head back to their own school until Monday morning.  Even though they made it back in time for the exam, they decided it would be foolish to go into an exam without studying, so they skipped the exam.  Later, they went to the professor to plead for a make-up exam.  They lied and told the professor that they had a flat tire on the way back and therefore missed the exam.  The professor agreed to a make-up and had each one go into a different room with a test booklet and the test.  The first page of the test was a fairly simple question which was worth 5 points.  Both of the students answered it perfectly, and were sure the test would be easy.  As they turned the second page they read “Question 2 (95 Points): Which Tire?”.


How do you deal with non-believers/co-workers/friends/ etc. when you know that they are not being forthcoming in their statements/actions?

Tony,
I liked your story. The story gives very little detail of what was actually told to the professor, but have you ever thought that maybe the reason the professor was asking which tire was so that he could check them to see if they were telling the truth? Even if they had discused between the two guys which tire they would say, if the professor went out to check the tire only to find out they weren't tellingthe truth, uh oh busted!!! I think it just shows how easily people that claim to be Christians truly aren't Christians at all and find it very easy to lie about things. This is where we take the time to pray for them. We can talk to that person all we see fit but if he/she isn't ready to listen, then our words go in vain. We have to pray for that person and that God will open the door to allow that person to listen with the heart and not just with the ears. God will provide a way for you to talk to that person at the rightt time and place. He will also give you the right actions and words to say to that person. You are not alone when you are around non-believers. God is ALWAYS with you to help guide you along the way.

God Bless You,
Christina

Matthew 28:18.  "And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.
19.  Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
20.  Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen."

Democrats and Republicans have made abortion law. It has become a lawful choice for American women.
Since it has become a thing of choice and if the wrong choice is being made perhaps the silence of Christ's people are to blame for all the murder of the unborn, not the lawmakers.

Go ye therefore.........Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you

Perhaps we are failing as Christians to win folks to Christ. To observe that one does not kill babies in the womb. That one does not have sex outside the marriage union that produces unwanted children. That one should maintain control of body functions and not give in to basic urges. That one should exercise common sense and stop to realize the responsibility of a sexual union. That it can produce human life. And are the two in union in a place in life to be resonsible for that new life.

Winning people to God through Christ should create the right choices and law or no law of man, God's will be done.
Perhaps all this has been put in place by God to light a fire under us to get up and go.

Ollie  
 

Ollie,
I agree that Christians aren't going out and teaching the nations like God had intended us on doing. Makes me think about no prayer in school. If Christians would have stood up for our beliefs then maybe there would still be prayer in school and this world would be a different place. My question here is: When are we going to stand up for our God and go and teach the nations without thinking twice about what someone else has to say about it or the consequences behind it? We need to step out in faith that God will protect us as long as we are doing his will. Ultimately, I think that Christians have failed and when we decide to take a stand we can truly change this world. Until we do take that stand, we are to blame for the lost lives.

Christina

You best be careful how you word your posts. Some of us on this board found out there is a God because we didn't have a college professor spoon feeding us the ideas of man. Others on this board found out there is a God in spite of what their college professors taught them. [/color]


His_Child,
I totally agree. Continuing education can be very rewarding, but it can also hinder you. I am one of those people that have found God in spite of what my college professors taught me. I did grow up in a penticostal church, but these professors can twist things in order to make our God seem unreal. If I can have trouble with it, just imagine how much trouble someone that isn't sure that God exists to begin with will have in class. I do agree that there is a way to say things that wouldn't offend anyone or start an argument, and from what I have read tonight (and I'm new here) neo and nimble seem to give the impression that they pretty much hate God and that nothing that we as Christians say on here to them will matter one bit. All we can do is pray for them that the will see the truth and that they will turn their lives over to God before it is too late for them.

Christina

neo and nimble-
There will always be things beyond your comprehension.
Something does not cease to exist just because it goes against human reasoning.

If god is beyond your comprehension, how do you know that he exists? And your argument seems to be composed of that stupid human reasoning.

Just because He's beyond your comprehension does not mean He is beyond everyone's comprehension.  

You best be careful how you word your posts. Some of us on this board found out there is a God because we didn't have a college professor spoon feeding us the ideas of man. Others on this board found out there is a God in spite of what their college professors taught them.

God's grace and love is why I believe in God. A few months ago, my life as I knew it was tore to shreds. If it had not been for God, I would probably be a nervous wreck right now. Even though things aren't back the way that they were, I have peace in my heart, mind, and life. Through Him, I have finally found true joy in my life. He has showed me how to depend on things not seen but to depend on Him to restore my life. Each day that passes, I draw closer to God and the closer that I draw to Him, the more that my everyday life is getting put back together.

God Bless You,
Christina

Hello everyone,

I got this link from a church that my church was helping out last week. I am glad that I checked it out. I have been looking for other Christians to talk to. There seems to be very few to talk to online or they are hard to find. I am looking forward to interacting with all of you.

God Bless You,
Christina