oooh love the bowling lane  

*wonders if the doghouse chain can spare a few feet for the picture idea up there*  

Do you women realize the males are challenging our peabrains over in the mens thread?

We must dispense judgment upon thier heads!

[Dr. Mellow's Guide To Women]

K listen up men, you might be able to help yourselves here!

Dr. Mellow's Guide To Women

Women, by nature, are evil. It is only when we understand this simple concept that men can ever hope to understand women. Hopefully, with these guidelines, men will have a better understanding of the mysterious ways of womankind.The first thing one must remember about a woman is that she knows everything. This is without exception. To go as far as say that a woman knows what you are thinking is not unrealistic. If, at any point of time, you are unsure of what you are thinking, one of the best ways to find out is to ask the nearest woman.

But, unfortunately, there is a drawback to asking a woman such a question . This drawback is that she, in all probability, will answer. And once a woman starts talking, it is very rare that she will ever stop. I believe this has something to do with the way that women think. Women believe that as long as they are talking, people listen to her. Of course, listening to a woman talk can be very tedious at times. It is OK not to listen to her as long as you nod your head in agreement and say Uh-huh every now and then. This makes the woman think you are listening and therefore she is happy.

Happiness is a good thing in a woman. If a woman is not happy, all chaos breaks loose. In order to help a woman keep a state of happiness, one should buy her gifts for various reasons. These reasons include the 1 month anniversary, the 1 year anniversary, Presidents Day, and any day whose date is a multiple of one. These gifts could be in the conventional form of flowers and candy, or for greater happiness, cars and real estate.

Often, when a woman says something, it is not what she means. But, other times, she says exactly what she means. It is only possible to distinguish these two cases if you are a woman. Since women already know the nature of women, this is of no use to them. For men, we can only hope to distinguish the difference, for a mistake in judgement can result in death.

Women know what men want. This is very strange, because even as sometimes men dont know what they are thinking, men usually dont know what they want. However, I must observe that it seems that what men want for the most part is women. This is unfortunate, for women know this fact and know that it is possible for them to do almost anything and this fact will not change.

Women have a very delicate nature. It is virtually impossible to keep one happy all of the time. It is totally impossible to know what one is thinking or feeling. And it is also impossible for us men, knowing how evil they are, not to love them.  

LOL

you take the cake sincereheart  

Shylynne Said:

Are we really so against cruel and unusual punishment?




*mutters*  ...now if a the judge were a WOMAN...

We have a Star Chamber. UM??, are you saying that a woman should be the presiding judge of the Star Chamber? I think that I like that idea. Only one drawback, we would have to hire more executioners.

I`m saying that women running lawnmowers crack should have got you some cruel and unusual punishment if the judge was`nt gender biased    

Only one drawback, we would have to hire more executioners.    

If you want to lose 50 lbs of ugly fat, chop off your head

Brother Love

P.S. Just kidding

I think that was a good idea LOL

...and here we have a excellent example of what bodily toxicity does to ones brain  

 

um... which diet symphony? Your not going toxic I hope  
I see you standing there about to open the fridge door and reading "Try to eat till you feel stuffed to the point breathing is difficult and sitting requires that you loosen the button of your pants." ...and going... uh huh...I love this diet!  LOL  

psst...do you think maybe BEP fed whitehorse some of those  civil defense biscuits  

[Returning To A Toxic Diet]

K if you did`nt go for the eden diet, i`m plum positive you`ll appreciate this plan!  

Returning To A Toxic Diet

Presented for your humor ... not to be taken seriously.

For those who insist on returning to their old toxic diet undoing the revitalizing of fasting, here are some tongue-in-cheek suggestions.

Slowly begin to reintroduce harmful foods. Suggestions are potato chips, pizza with extra cheese, white bread, milk, milk shakes from edible oil products, fried chicken, potatoes deep-fried in beef fat, eggs from chemically raised chickens, barbecued steak with a small portion of overcooked vegetables. Include lots of coffee and donuts to insure an optimum toxicity level.
   

Eat very few raw fruits and vegetables. If you must eat vegetables, make sure the life has been cooked out of them. The best fruits are canned and preserved in sugar syrup.
   

Drink lots of Coke or Pepsi. Canned vegetable juice is fine in small quantities because the enzymes have been destroyed through pasteurization. If you buy fruit drinks made from powder, make sure you see food coloring and synthetic sweeteners and a few unpronounceable chemicals listed in the ingredients.
   

Eat ravenously as if every meal is your last. Swallow food with the least amount of chewing. Eating your meals in less than three minutes will guarantee minimum saliva content. Use butter as a lubricant. Deep-fried foods will also require less chewing.
   

Eat as much as your stomach can take. This forces the muscles that support the stomach to stretch out of shape. Try to eat till you feel stuffed to the point breathing is difficult and sitting requires that you loosen the button of your pants. Mixing proteins, starches, and sugars together with lots of liquid will reduce digestion and increase fermentation, which is necessary to create an achy bloating effect and effective high-powered flatulence.
   

Avoid fiber at all cost. If forced to eat whole-wheat flour, pick the bits of bran from the bread. This will allow the food to pass more slowly through the intestine so the body may absorb optimal toxic chemicals.
   

Do not exercise. Exercise oxygenates the cells and triggers the lymphatic system to cleanse the body. Try to remain in an inactive, horizontal position. TV watching on a sofa is perfect. Try to take as many snacks as possible to the sofa so you do not have to walk back and forth to the fridge.
 

Snack regularly during the night so as to curb the body's natural tendencies to detoxify during sleep.
 

Attend lots of church potlucks for toxic-diet encouragement from other Christians. Do not be embarrassed about going up for seconds, thirds and fourths. Attend every Bible study carrying donuts and a jumbo coffee in hand in case there is not enough for you. Avoid all the Scriptures that talk about discipline and the body being the Temple of God.

 

http://www.juicefasting.org/toxic.htm

[''The Eden Diet"]

The author here is talking about how to eat during a pre-fast, but the  info is good for anyone interested in eating healthy

''The Eden Diet"

Different health professionals will favor different versions but there is one that is agreed upon by almost everyone. It's taken straight from the Bible. Some would call it a fruit fast. I like to call it "The Eden Diet."

And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. Gen. 1:29

The rule is simply this: If it fits what God allowed in the Garden of Eden when man was in perfection, then eat it.

As I mentioned, I am a Christian, so I am partial to a particular spiritual viewpoint and set of scriptures. No matter what your spiritual beliefs are, the principles are what natural health experts recommend and they work. Fasting is universal in its spiritual or non-spiritual application.

So if it is raw (not cooked, pasteurized, or processed in any way), not of an animal but of herbal (plant) origin, you can eat it. That's it, that's the Eden Diet. That also means NO SALT and NO SUGAR!!!

All questions about what you can eat on The Eden Diet are answerable with, "Sure it's OK to eat, as long as it's an herb (meaning plant) and as long as it's not cooked or altered in any way."

What about vegetables. . . sure it's OK to eat, as long as it's an herb (meaning plant) and as long as it's not cooked or altered in any way.

What about nuts. . . sure it's OK to eat, as long as it's an herb (meaning plant) and as long as it's not cooked or altered in any way. Go easy on the nuts though. Nuts are concentrated protein foods and are  rather difficult to digest. In addition, there is not much water in nuts. High water content foods are a necessity since they are the foods that flush the  body.

What about fruit juices. . . isn't that altered from the garden? Yes, but . . . sure it's OK to eat, as long as it's an herb  (meaning plant) and as long as it's not cooked or altered in any way. Eat the fruit whole, (you need the fiber) just the way it was intended from the garden.

What about bread. . . that isn't from the garden.

What about honey. . . what plant makes honey?
 

The Eden Diet is an excellent pre-fast program.  It's simple and it works. The enzymes from the fresh unaltered and uncooked  fruits and vegetables work wonders on the system. Yes, vegetables can be eaten uncooked and raw.

It's interesting that cooked corn often goes through the digestive system with the kernels still intact. When corn is eaten raw, it's all digested, there are no kernels left in the stool. Raw corn is sweet too, where do you think they get corn syrup to sweeten so much stuff from? Okra, broccoli, and other vegetables can all be eaten raw. They flush out the body in many ways and prepare the body for the full fast.

Citrus fruits are especially good for this.  Oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruits, and tangerines all work within the body to neutralize the toxins and get them out of the body. The other rule of The Eden Diet: Eat one thing at a time and allow at least 20 to 30 minutes between different types of foods.

The one food at a time is nature's way. Again notice, only man combines more than one type of food at a meal. All animals in  nature eat ONE THING at a time. The single food allows for greater and faster detoxifying than eating combination of foods.

You may even notice some of the same effects of the FAST FLUSH with The Eden Diet. The Eden Diet will not only begin the detox  process, but if maintained long enough, will cause many miraculous self healings in itself. No doctor can cure you. Doctors do not have the power to heal. Only God can do that and he has placed the power within your own body and within the  foods that have been placed in the garden for you.
 

How long should you continue on
The Eden Diet
before you begin the full fast?

First, you can not overdue The Eden Diet!

You could stay on The Eden Diet for the rest of your life and you would be healthier and live longer than if you ate the Standard American Diet. Compared to The SAD  Diet,
The Eden Diet would guarantee you as full a life as possible. If you stay on The Eden Diet your health should be just about perfect and disease free.

So how long do you stay on The Eden Diet? For at least as many days as you intend to fast or until the FAST FLUSH symptoms disappear. When the FAST FLUSH symptoms of bodily cleansing disappear, you know that your body has reached a certain level of cleanliness. The shock of the full fast will be abated tremendously by this initial cleansing with The Eden Diet.


http://www.quickfasting.com/index.html

 

hmmm...methinks anybody who bought into that diet plan is 100% dead ..could this be the better explanation for no returns?  

Now lets review: WATER is all natural with no preservatives, no artificial ingredients, cholesterol-free, 100% wholesome,  nonfattening and necessary for optimum health.

Now could it be your blaming water for what a life time of donut eating did to your plumbing?  

I do quite a bit of health research, and this is one of the best overall quick reads that pinpoints the cause and solution to poor health, thought some of you health kickers might find this info helpful:

There is no one single cause of any disorder/ailment/illness/syndrome. We can only talk about cofactors, causative agents and life situations that like pieces of puzzle interact with each other, and together promote health problems & Overweight. All disorders and health problems that happen to humans are multidimensional, because we, humans are multidimensional. Modern medical science is manly interested in physical and tangible world. Modern medical science blames too many problems on bad genes, viruses, bacteria ...


Genes are always a factor of our health, but that is the only factor we can't do anything about. The truth is, no illness, no disorder or health problem is caused by only a single factor, or by only "3" cofactors. There could be virtually hundreds of cofactors / causative agents that each has casual relationship to poor immunity, poor health, accumulation of toxins inside the body, poor thoughts, and that promotes illness!

Most common cofactors could be: unpleasant life experiences, lack of knowledge, poor thoughts and attitude, lack of consciousness, lifestyle, diet, and exposure to Toxins, overexposure to viruses, bacteria, yeast, and parasitic animals. In case of health problems encountered in childhood, or in case of children borne with certain disorder or illness, those cofactors are common for their parents!

We are only able to recognize the "largest" and most common pieces of this "puzzle", while some "smaller" pieces are often unrecognizable. Our body, mind, soul and spirit are one with our environment. Anything that disturbs balance inside our body, mind, soul and spirit, or our relationship with environment may promote an illness.

The Role of Our Liver in Weight Gain
Weight gain and depression are just two common manifestations of a congested, overworked liver.  

Many people struggle with weight gain and a sluggish metabolism most of their lives, and go through lots of yo-yo dieting unsuccessfully. “So why doesn’t anything really work?” we may ask. We have been tackling the symptom when we should be addressing the cause - weight gain is often due to poor liver function. Congestion throughout the body and a sluggish liver can contribute not only to fatigue and malaise, but also to weight gain, especially around the abdomen, cellulite, and water retention.  

When we cleanse the liver and then eat the right foods, liver metabolism will improve and we start burning fat. As liver function improves, so does energy. With more energy, fitness improves, because we have the ability to exercise more and improve our muscle tone.

As we cleanse the body, not only will we shed excess pounds, we’ll also lose some of that lumpy, bumpy cellulite.

Two French physicians, Meus-Blatter and Laroche, discovered that cellulite is cause by inefficient removal of wastes from the body. As toxic materials collect between the cells, they are held by hardened connective tissue where they build up to create pockets of water, toxins, and fat that give the skin that unsightly peau d’orange (orange peel skin) appearance. Cleansing the body with high amounts of raw food, and especially vegetable juices, not only helps flush away the lumps and bumps, it also raises cell vitality.

Following are the most common symptoms and conditions of a overworked liver: Being on edge (easily stressed), clevated cholesterol, skin conditions, skin irritation, depression, sleep difficulties, fat indigestion, kidney damage, heart damage, brain damage, Hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue, weight fain, poor memory, PMS, mental fog, blood sugar disorders, allergies, obesity. If you have tried many ways to improve your health and energy level and nothing seemed to adequately help, it is very possible that your overworked liver underlies your difficulties. Restoring liver function is one of the most important and vital actions you could ever do for your health. When the liver gets congested and toxic, it will remain that way and get worse until it gets detoxified and rejuvenated.  

Milk Thistle has a long therapeutic history for the treatment of liver disorders
For over 2,000 years Europeans have used Milk Thistle seeds as an herbal treatment for liver disorders. Literally hundreds of research studies, mostly in Europe, have confirmed the remarkable ability of milk thistle to protect the liver against virtually all types of damage: from accidental exposure to chemical pollutants, toxic side effects of medications, liver diseases like hepatitis and even the self inflicted damage from overindulgence of rich food and alcohol. Human studies have found milk thistle seed extract beneficial in treating alcoholic liver disease, drug-induced liver disease, bile duct inflammation and chronic hepatitis.  

Weight Control Begins With Hydration
drink 1/2 your body weight of water in ounces, daily. Example 180 lb = 90 oz. of water daily. Divide that into 8 or 10 oz. glasses and that's how many glasses you will need to drink, daily.

Trying to lose weight is always a challenge, but water can be a valuable and easily adaptable component of a diet plan. Water acts as an appetite suppressant and is instrumental in breaking down and reducing fat deposits. The rate at which we burn calories (our metabolism) is a chemical process requiring water. We need adequate water to ensure the smooth functioning of this process. Water helps to flush toxins out our system. The more toxins in our body the less capable it is of losing weight. If you are dieting, keep your system functioning properly and maximize weight loss by drinking plenty of water.

No matter what the specific health or fitness goal, one cannot achieve the maximum benefit from any health program without drinking the right kind of water in the proper amount. All experts agree, that next to the air we breathe, water is the most important thing we will ever put in our bodies. It is surprising that so much time and money is being spent on supplements, organic foods and natural remedies but little attention is given to the quality and effect of the water with which those items are taken.

Depending on what part of the country one lives in, it is easy to find trace amounts of nitrates, pesticides, heavy metals, radioactive compounds, petrochemicals and parasites coming from the local municipal water supply. The toxins and free radicals in these waters are made significantly more toxic to humans by the addition of chlorine -- a compound mandated by the public health department.

 
Julian Whitaker, MD - "Most of us do not naturally drink the amount of water necessary for improvement, so we function with low level dehydration and suffer a variety of diseases as a result."
http://allnaturalinfo.com/Overweight.htm

BEP? Biscuits and cod liver oil? Sounds like a quick cure for a overpacked forum

ROFL Willow!

"Aww, look quick, he's doing something cute!!" (Cat is just standing there...looking stupid...)

ROFL!

If we are going to talk furry footed beasts I can play!

My daughter has a MALE cat named "Cuteness"

*grrrrowls*

Dont even get me started!  

from religion to a real love

A wonderful testimony raven!