Print Page - What is "Gossip"?

Innocent Gossip?

~by Taprina K. Milburn

My friends surrounded me at a cozy table. We hadn't been together in years. Immediately we reverted to the chatty group of teenagers we had once been.

One friend told about a classmate's divorce. "It was nasty. His wife took everything," she said. We listened, drawn in by someone else's misery. My friend acted as if she knew the whole story, both sides.

But did she? Who cared? This was good stuff.

Where's the harm?

An occasional hour of gossip with the girls isn't so bad -- or is it? I'd never given much thought to gossip's harm as I participated, both listening and spreading. When I passed on information I'd heard about someone, I didn't care if the tidbit was true or hurtful. And I didn't think about how untrustworthy I appeared to other people who heard me gossip.

In recent years, an unusual circumstance brought the subject of gossip into a different light. An acquaintance began spewing unsolicited information about a dear friend to me. As she divulged secrets, I was put in a position to make a decision: Should I ask her to stop talking, or should I listen to the criticism and exaggerations? Would she be offended if I asked her to stop?

"The person you're talking about is my friend," I blurted. "I can't listen to this."

Stunned, the gossip looked at her watch. We said goodbye with a great deal of discomfort. We haven't said much to each other since.

This incident brought to me another question: Should I listen only to gossip about and criticism of people I don't know or don't like? Or do I have to stop participating completely?

Do not conform any longer.

At a conference several years ago, I listened to a speaker talk about the hate she saw among Christians as they tore one another down instead of building one another up. James 3:9 came to mind as I listened to her: "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness."

Gossip and destructive criticism are common in our society. They're on television and in the newspapers. But we don't have to turn on the TV or pick up a paper to get a dose. It's in our homes, churches and businesses, too.

Christine works for a large corporation. Her challenge each day is to keep out of the gossip circle at work.

I'll admit that I'm occasionally yanked back into it," she said. "I know as soon as I start to listen or open my mouth that I've become part of the problem. Many times, when I feel I've walked away from it, I'll return to my desk and find on my computer an e-mail that's full of gossip. It's every where, and it makes building friendships at work difficult because you don't know whom you can trust.

Cutting the gossip habit may be like weaning a baby from its pacifier: You'll feel a little unsure about what to do with your mouth in certain situations. In her book, Lord, Change Me! Evelyn Christenson writes, "I find it is impossible to pray for and gossip about a person at the same time. I can't thank God for all the good things about a person and be filled with accusations at the same time."

Kathy, a teacher's assistant, says she purposely starts her day with a commitment to God that she will avoid gossip.

"My goal each day is to refrain from talking bad about anybody or overly complain about bad situations," she says. "I also have to make sure my mind is free of criticism. If I really feel that I need to share some information with someone about another person, I think first about what my purpose and motive are for sharing it."

In my journey to prevent myself from gossiping, I've learned some things about myself.

* A gossip may be fun to listen to, but she can't be trusted enough to build intimate relationships with.

* No matter how jolly a person seems, gossip and criticism reveal on the outside what's going on in the inside -- negative thinking and hatred.

* Gossip and criticism are used to make us feel better about our positions in life -- we feel good when someone else is worse off.

* Criticism of other people will eventually spill over into my own family. The more I see wrong in people with whom I work or mingle, the more critical my eyes become at home.

* Gossip and criticism pull down your spirit. "Garbage in, garbage out," a friend's mother used to say. Listening to gossip can be as harmful as speaking it. It changes the way you look at and feel about people.

Damage control.

This anonymous quote is tacked to my bulletin board, and it reminds me to keep a rein on my tongue: "A gossip is a person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do as much damage." Here are a few pointers.

* Make a commitment with your circle of friends to lift up people instead of tearing them down.

* Firmly tell the messenger you do not want to hear gossip. Be prepared for the relationship to change.

* Examine what you fill your mind with. Does your mental diet consist of tell-all books, despondent music or television programs that portray the most sinister side of human behavior?

* Choose friends carefully. The special part of friendship is being able to confide in each other during rough times. This is unsafe if your friend is known to gossip. If you're a known gossip, people will not trust you.

* Make it a daily goal to think before you say something about someone. Ask yourself: What is my motivation?

I still keep in touch with my friends from childhood, but we no longer keep the gossip flame burning. Our friendships have grown deeper since we've shelved negativity. We're now able to have conversations about things with substance -- family and faith.
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Taken from Focus on the Family magazine, Feb. 2000.
Taprina K. Milburn is a stay-at-home mom of two children: Aubrey, 6, and Brenner, 3. She has been married to Kermit for 10 years.
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Copyright © 2000 Focus on the Family.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

MSG:
Exodus 23:1
"Don't pass on malicious gossip. "Don't link up with a wicked person and give corrupt testimony.

Leviticus 19:16
"Don't spread gossip and rumors. "Don't just stand by when your neighbor's life is in danger. I am GOD.

Job 5:21
You'll be protected from vicious gossip and live fearless through any catastrophe.

Job 15:4
Look at you! You trivialize religion, turn spiritual conversation into empty gossip.

Job 31:34
Because I was afraid what people would say, fearing the gossip of the neighbors so much That I turned myself into a recluse? You know good and well that I didn't.

Psalm 31:13
The street-talk gossip has me "criminally insane"! Behind locked doors they plot how to ruin me for good.

Psalm 31:20
You hide them safely away from the opposition. As you slam the door on those oily, mocking faces, you silence the poisonous gossip.

Psalm 35:20
No good is going to come from that crowd; They spend all their time cooking up gossip against those who mind their own business.

Psalm 41:6
If someone comes to see me, he mouths empty platitudes, All the while gathering gossip about me to entertain the street-corner crowd.

Psalm 44:16
Gossip and ridicule fill the air, people out to get me crowd the street.

Psalm 52:4
You love malicious gossip, you foul-mouth.

Psalm 63:11
But the king is glad in God; his true friends spread the joy, While small-minded gossips are gagged for good.

Psalm 69:26
They gossiped about the one you disciplined, Made up stories about anyone wounded by God.

Psalm 70:3
Give them a taste of their own medicine, those gossips off clucking their tongues.

Psalm 71:11
The gossip is: "God has abandoned him. Pounce on him now; no one will help him."

Psalm 101:5
I put a gag on the gossip who bad-mouths his neighbor; I can't stand arrogance.

Psalm 112:7
Unfazed by rumor and gossip, Heart ready, trusting in GOD,

Psalm 119:23
While bad neighbors maliciously gossip about me, I'm absorbed in pondering your wise counsel.

Proverbs 4:24
Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.

Proverbs 11:13
A gadabout gossip can't be trusted with a secret, but someone of integrity won't violate a confidence.

Proverbs 12:13
The gossip of bad people gets them in trouble; the conversation of good people keeps them out of it.

Proverbs 16:27
Mean people spread mean gossip; their words smart and burn.

Proverbs 16:28
Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships.

Proverbs 17:4
Evil people relish malicious conversation; the ears of liars itch for dirty gossip.

Proverbs 18:8
Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly?

Proverbs 20:19
Gossips can't keep secrets, so never confide in blabbermouths.

Proverbs 24:28
Don't talk about your neighbors behind their backs-- no slander or gossip, please.

Proverbs 25:23
A north wind brings stormy weather, and a gossipy tongue stormy looks.

Proverbs 26:20
When you run out of wood, the fire goes out; when the gossip ends, the quarrel dies down.

Proverbs 26:22
Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you want junk like that in your belly?

Proverbs 29:12
When a leader listens to malicious gossip, all the workers get infected with evil.

Ecclesiastes 7:21
Don't eavesdrop on the conversation of others. What if the gossip's about you and you'd rather not hear it?

Ecclesiastes 10:20
Don't bad-mouth your leaders, not even under your breath, And don't abuse your betters, even in the privacy of your home. Loose talk has a way of getting picked up and spread around. Little birds drop the crumbs of your gossip far and wide.

Isaiah 58:9
Then when you pray, GOD will answer. You'll call out for help and I'll say, "Here I am.' "If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other people's sins,

Jeremiah 9:4
"Be wary of even longtime neighbors. Don't even trust your grandmother! Brother schemes against brother, like old cheating Jacob. Friend against friend spreads malicious gossip.

Jeremiah 48:27
Wasn't it you, Moab, who made crude jokes over Israel? And when they were caught in bad company, didn't you cluck and gossip and snicker?

Lamentations 3:61
"You heard, GOD, their vicious gossip, their behind-my-back plots to ruin me.

Ezekiel 36:3
now here is a prophecy in the name of GOD, the Master: Because nations came at you from all sides, ripping and plundering, hauling pieces of you off every which way, and you've become the butt of cheap gossip and jokes,

Micah 1:10
Don't gossip about this in Telltown. Don't waste your tears. In Dustville, roll in the dust.

Matthew 9:4
Jesus knew what they were thinking, and said, "Why this gossipy whispering?

Matthew 9:23
By now they had arrived at the house of the town official, and pushed their way through the gossips looking for a story and the neighbors bringing in casseroles.

Mark 5:38
They entered the leader's house and pushed their way through the gossips looking for a story and neighbors bringing in casseroles.

Mark 5:39
Jesus was abrupt: "Why all this busybody grief and gossip? This child isn't dead; she's sleeping."

Luke 5:22
Jesus knew exactly what they were thinking and said, "Why all this gossipy whispering?

Acts 17:21
Downtown Athens was a great place for gossip. There were always people hanging around, natives and tourists alike, waiting for the latest tidbit on most anything.

2 Corinthians 12:16
And why is it that I keep coming across these whiffs of gossip about how my self-support was a front behind which I worked an elaborate scam? Where's the evidence?

Ephesians 5:4
Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, Christians have better uses for language than that. Don't talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn't fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.

1 Timothy 1:6
Those who fail to keep to this point soon wander off into cul-de-sacs of gossip.

1 Timothy 5:13
frittering away their days on empty talk, gossip, and trivialities.

Titus 2:3
Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness.

CEV:
Leviticus 19:16
Don't be a gossip, but never hesitate to speak up in court, especially if your testimony can save someone's life.

Psalm 15:3
and don't spread gossip; they treat others fairly and don't say cruel things.

Psalm 31:20
You are their shelter from harmful plots, and you are their protection from vicious gossip.

Psalm 41:6
When visitors come, all they ever bring are worthless words, and when they leave, they spread gossip.

Psalm 50:20
you sat around gossiping, ruining the reputation of your own relatives."

Psalm 69:12
Rulers and judges gossip about me, and drunkards make up songs to mock me.

Psalm 69:26
They cause trouble for people you have already punished; their gossip hurts those you have wounded.

Psalm 101:5
Anyone who spreads gossip will be silenced, and no one who is conceited will be my friend.

Proverbs 11:9
Dishonest people use gossip to destroy their neighbors; good people are protected by their own good sense.

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip tells everything, but a true friend will keep a secret.

Proverbs 16:28
Gossip is no good! It causes hard feelings and comes between friends.

Proverbs 18:8
There's nothing so delicious as the taste of gossip! It melts in your mouth.

Proverbs 20:19
Stay away from gossips-- they tell everything.

Proverbs 25:9
When you and someone else can't get along, don't gossip about it. [25.9 [When. . . it] : Or " Settle a problem privately between you and your neighbor and don't involve others." ]

Proverbs 26:20
Where there is no fuel a fire goes out; where there is no gossip arguments come to an end.

Proverbs 26:22
There is nothing so delicious as the taste of gossip! It melts in your mouth.

Romans 1:29,30
They are evil, wicked, and greedy, as well as mean in every possible way. They want what others have, and they murder, argue, cheat, and are hard to get along with. They gossip, 30say cruel things about others, and hate God. They are proud, conceited, and boastful, always thinking up new ways to do evil.

2 Corinthians 12:20
I am afraid that when I come, we won't be pleased with each other. I fear that some of you may be arguing or jealous or angry or selfish or gossiping or insulting each other. I even fear that you may be proud and acting like a mob.

1 Timothy 3:11
Women [3.11 [Women] : Either church officers or the wives of church officers.] must also be serious. They must not gossip or be heavy drinkers, and they must be faithful in everything they do.

1 Timothy 5:13
Besides, they will become lazy and get into the habit of going from house to house. Next, they will start gossiping and become busybodies, talking about things that are none of their business.

Titus 2:3
Tell the older women to behave as those who love the Lord should. They must not gossip about others or be slaves of wine. They must teach what is proper,

3 John 1:10
So if I come, I will remind him of how he has been attacking us with gossip. Not only has he been doing this, but he refuses to welcome any of the Lord's followers who come by. And when other church members want to welcome them, he puts them out of the church.

Gossip: Are You All Ears?

Lauren Arjona
This article is courtesy of HomeLife magazine

When a friend shares his or her opinion or information about someone else, what do you normally do?

a. Savor the information.
b. Offer a few choice morsels of your own.
c. Refuse to listen.
d. Direct them to speak to the person they are speaking about.

The truth is, gossip has the tongues of many Christians wagging … and picking … and snipping. Gossip is addictive, and it’s a tough habit to break, especially since so many of us are in denial about its presence in our lives.

And just so we aren’t confused about its presence, the Bible contains numerous terms to explain exactly what gossip means to God. Scripture speaks of slander (Ephesians 4:31), whispering (Psalm 41:7), story telling (Leviticus 19:16), babbling or chattering (Proverbs 10:8; Ecclesiastes 10:11), tattling (1 Timothy 5:13), defaming (1 Corinthians 4:13), repeating matters (Proverbs 17:9), and meddling (1 Timothy 5:13).
No wonder God created each of us with two ears and one tongue. Look at the havoc we can wreak with just one speaking part!

Telling the Painful Truth

Most Christians are surprised to learn that God doesn’t care whether the stories we’re spreading are true or false; it’s all gossip to Him (false – Matthew 5:11; true – Proverbs 17:9; malicious – Psalm 31:13, or foolish – Proverbs 10:18).

What exactly is going on inside of us, propelling us to pollute our homes and our churches with gossip? Why do we have such loose tongues and such itching ears? Why do we so easily spread toxic tales with the same tongues we use to quote Bible passages? The answers to these questions are quite telling.

1. We gossip because knowledge is power.

Sometimes, the sheer monotony of everyday life can lead to discouragement and a feeling of powerlessness. One cure for this depletion, and thus the gossip bug it spreads, is wholesome relationships that focus our thoughts on God and restore our feelings of purpose and worth.

Titus 2:4-5 tells the older women to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands.

The answer is in the first part of the verse: “Older women train younger women.” That training takes time. It requires conversation, Bible study, and prayer. That, in turn, creates relationship. And developing relationship by spending time with a mentor can curtail the need for power plays, defensive game playing, and, yes, gossip.

2. We gossip to manipulate or control a situation or person.

Sometimes we share information in the hope that the listening individual will take action. When situations are out of our control, a well-dropped morsel can inspire a friend, a spouse, or even a pastor to step in and “fix things.”

Motives may be pure in this type of gossiping, but faith is absent. Perhaps we really are concerned and have this overwhelming urge to share information about a problem. But there’s only One we should trust with the burden for a friend or loved-one and only one safe place to share information – on our knees in prayer.

That prayer should, more often than not, start with repentance and asking forgiveness. When we take matters into our own hands by seeking to manipulate others toward action, we remove God from the throne of our lives. We’re basically telling ourselves and others that God is powerless to act and to heal. Once we have our relationship straight with God, we then need to share our every concern with Him, privately, in prayer.

3. We gossip because we’re hostile.

When we whisper a tale about someone, it’s as if we’re throwing stones. And we’ve all felt the sting of rocks – they hurt. So why do we keep throwing them?

Search your heart. Are anger and hostility rooted there? Seek to forgive those who may have wronged you. You may need to spend time in counseling or fasting and prayer to do so. Do what God leads you to do to stop hitting back.

4. We gossip because we’re jealous. Yikes!

This one’s hard to hear and even harder to admit. But tearing down another person deceives us into thinking we’re somehow better. There are numerous verses about God’s love and how He can restore self-worth. The bottom line is that when the Holy Spirit lives in the heart of a believer, that person can let go of the need for approval, attention, and superiority.

Romans 3:22-24 states, “There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

That passage leaves no room for jealousy – and neither should the life of a believer for that matter. God planned us all to be different. Let Him give you insight into how He has blessed and gifted you to serve Him.

5. We gossip because we have a gang mentality.

In biblical times, stoning was an equal-opportunity event. Today it’s not uncommon for Christians to join forces in verbally stoning someone.

To stop the gang mentality, some friends may need to take a break from each other. Or, if another person isn’t willing to stop gossiping, a relationship may need to be severed all together. Others may need to be counseled or mentored by more mature Christians.

Still others may simply need to hold one other accountable: To ask, “Why are we doing this, and how do we stop?” Those are brave questions, but chances are, others feel uncomfortable with the patterns, too. Let these discussions guide your prayers and actions.

Gossip is sin. It destroys families, relationships, and churches. Let God use you to share His purpose with His children, restore Him to His position of authority, and heal broken relationships. What a story you will have to tell then!

Lauren Arjona is a freelance writer from Rialto, California.

In searching the subject, I've come across mention of the problem in every denomination! :-X But I liked the articles on it! Here's another.......

Gossip and Appropriate Speech

Why are one’s conversation and personal speech considered so important by Bible-believing Christians? Does the church really believe gossip is a sin?

Speech and conversation tell a great deal about one’s character. "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matt. 12:34). We learn much about our Heavenly Father and His only begotten Son Jesus, by reading how Jesus conversed with the Father in prayer (Luke 22:41,42). The profanity and obscene talk of ungodly people reveal the nature of their hearts.

Spoken words have unbelievable power. Words are described as weapons, as swords and arrows (Psa. 57:4; 64:3; Jer. 9:8). James describes the power of the tongue and its words as the rudder of a ship or a spark that sets a forest on fire (James 3:2-12). Christians observe the power of the spoken word today in political propaganda and media news.

The Assemblies of God agrees with the Bible that gossip is sinful. The Bible clearly and frequently condemns all talebearing and idle talk. "Do not go about spreading slander among your people" (Lev. 19:16). "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless" (James 1:26). Jesus said "Men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned" (Matt. 12:36,37). In every context, gossip is related to words, ideas, and behaviors entirely incompatible with Christian, Spirit-filled living.

The horror of gossip turns language or words, our best gift and most powerful tool, into a cruel weapon. Idle talk mangles truth and exchanges wisdom for foolishness (James 3). Gossip is the opposite of love (1 Cor. 13:6; Gal. 5:14,15). Instead of helpfulness it brings hurt. Instead of peace it brings anger and strife (Prov. 16:28; 2 Cor. 12:20). Where there should be trust it brings betrayal (Prov. 20:19).

Why is there gossip among Christians? Paul preaching to the Ephesians, and James passionately describing the power of the tongue, both say gossip is giving the devil a foothold. It is like fire out of hell (Eph. 4:25-32; James 3:6). A major reason for gossip in Christian churches, then, is failure to understand how serious it is, and how it is used by the devil.

There are other reasons for gossip. For some, sadly, it is a form of entertainment. But gossip is typically unfulfilling. It only temporarily satisfies one with the communication and relationship needs that God has designed to be met in edifying ways. Though sharing gossip can make people feel accepted and part of a group, it abuses persons outside the group. On occasion gossip is a projection of anger. Sometimes people "let off steam" by talking about something or someone other than the issue or person with whom they are angry. All of these reasons show that gossip does not belong in the life of a person whose confidence and strength is in the Lord, and whose joy comes from loving Christian service.

Telling truths can be wrong. Paul says that because something is lawful, or permissible, it is not always expedient or beneficial. We should not let any compulsion or habit master us, or bring us under its power (1 Cor. 6:12). What is basically true may not be constructive, uplifting, or kind to others. We should not act according to our impulses, but do that which is right for others (1 Cor. 10:23). Relating another’s private matters in a thoughtless way shows lack of self-control. It is a mark of spiritual maturity to refrain from any words that might embarrass, hurt, or offend (James 3:2).

What can we do about gossip? (1) Do not risk beginning a rumor by talking about others. Even in making prayer requests, be careful to say only what is necessary to explain the need. Do not ask suggestive questions, nor pry into the affairs of others. (2) Do not betray a confidence (Prov. 11:13). If you feel you must share a confidence to help someone, speak only to a pastor, or a parent who is in a position to act appropriately. (3) Do not listen to gossip. Express your intention not to listen. (4) Be a peacemaker. Be the one to put out fires (Prov. 26:20).

Our Vocabulary does matter. An often overlooked area of speech is the use of thoughtless expressions and minced oaths. Without using outright profanity, some Christians use words like "gee," "darn," and "gosh" without thinking of what they might be saying. Studies of the origins of words have demonstrated that these are senseless substitutions for "Jesus," "damn," and "God." Other seemingly innocent words with unknown origins are unwittingly used in the personal vocabulary of many Christians today. All believers would do well to evaluate the words they use in expressing themselves. A Christian’s speech should reflect God’s grace and give subtle testimony to the fact God is alive and at work in the life of the believer.

CONCERNS:

We sometimes wonder why there are so many tensions and disagreements in the Body of Christ, and especially in a local church. Most often the difficulty can be traced to a careless word spoken in haste and without thinking how others would understand or receive it. It may not be Scripture, but the old adage is in keeping with the command that we love one another and work toward the unity of the church: "Think before you speak." And while one is thinking, the Holy Spirit will have opportunity to speak first and cause the speaking to edify and unify believers.

Furthermore, the Spirit-filled believer should be concerned about prayers addressed to God, not to avoid offending God, but to use words that reflect an all-consuming love for our Lord. The baptism in the Holy Spirit, with the prayer language that comes with the infilling, provides a beautiful way of expressing love and praise for God when human expression seems so inadequate. The more we have intimate communion with God through the assistance of the Holy Spirit, the less hold the temptation to gossip will have on us. Paul’s word to the Ephesian church is good for us today, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Eph. 4:29).

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The above statement is based upon our common understanding of scriptural teaching.

All Scripture quotations are from the New International Version (NIV) unless otherwise specified.

Copyright ©2003 The General Council of the Assemblies of God

GOSSIP IN THE CHURCH: Why we all suffer when it happens.
July 24, 2003
"For I fear that when I come, I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish; I fear that there may perhaps be quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder." (2 Corinthians 12:20)

One of the most destructive forces in the church today is gossip. Of course, this is nothing new. St. Paul the Apostle had to deal with it all the time in the churches he founded and ministered in. Unfortunately, despite the biblical warnings against the sin of gossip, many Christians find it simply to difficult to resist. The result is broken hearts and division in the Body of Christ.

As I travel across the nation and the world, I am exposed to more than a fair share of gossip. Sadly, many times this is even being done by church leaders. We pay so much attention to the "obvious sins," such as drug addiction or sexual immorality, but we ignore the serious threat of gossip. In fact, I have observed that gossip is pretty much accepted in the Church.

Sin is sin. I firmly believe that Christians should be reminded of this, and to take note that gossip is just as wicked as rebellion or forsaking the assembly. When is the last time you talked behind the back of a brother and sister? Or better yet, when is the last time you LISTENED to stories being passed around? Gossip serves no other purpose but to destroy another's integrity. In the end it is the gossiper who's integrity that should be questioned, even if their accusations are correct!

Recently, I was saddened to learn that I have been the subject of gossip. Of course, as a public figure I can expect such things, but that does not make it any less painful. Those who engage in this sinful activity rarely follow the Christian way of "going to the source" to answer their questions or express concerns. For myself, this creates the dilemma of trying to put out fires without knowing where they were started. My prayer is that we all examine ourselves with more conviction in this area, so that the edification of the Church is our sole intention.

~Archbishop Veron Mar Enoch (Ashe)

http://www.archbishopashe.com/news.html (http://www.archbishopashe.com/news.html)

(http://www.moriel.info/images/paparazzi.jpg)
Gossip
Most "discernment ministry" websites and message boards are little more than glorified gossip columns. Just as you might open a newspaper or check an entertainment web page to read all the latest gossip about various famous celebrities - most of which is either totally untrue, grossly distorted, or none of anyone else's business anyway - so people check the discernment ministries to keep up-to-date with the latest scandals and controversies. Just check out their message boards, for example. They are filled with people eager to "dish the dirt" on the latest false teacher or questionable ministry, feeding their own self-righteousness by their condemnation of others. And, of course, everyone else is always quick to jump on the bandwagon, searching high and low for more information that they can use to make themselves appear "discerning."

1 Timothy 6:4 ... he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions ...

Naturally, most discernment ministries claim to be providing valuable research and facts to "expose" false teachers and "cults." Yet they keep "researching" the same things over and over again, rehashing the same information, constantly trying to convince people that they're doing something worthwhile. However, as soon as they are challenged on anything themselves, all their supposed "research" evaporates and they are revealed as simple gossip-mongers. They slander and accuse as they see fit, with no regard for truth or Scripture. They suddenly stop openly "exposing" their victims and retreat into the darkness where they can operate without fear of being exposed themselves. Far from being Biblical "watchmen," they are in fact the paparazzi of Christianity.

Proverbs 18:8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.

And, just as with the tabloids, magazines and gossip columns of the world, there are no shortage of people eager to consume the "choice morsels" that they produce. For gossip and slander have become so commonplace in churches today that people no longer even consider it a problem, let alone a sin. Most Christians react with shock if you dare to confront them for slandering, for example, because they consider such things part of normal conversation. Hence, it is rare to find anyone who actually allows the Holy Spirit to convict them and bring them to repentance.

Are you addicted to the religious gossip of discernment ministries? Do you have an "unhealthy interest in controversies?" Are you one of those who are guilty of spreading slander and gossip? Does your everyday speech reflect the holiness required by Jesus?

http://www.moriel.info/gossip.html (http://www.moriel.info/gossip.html)

Beware The Mule!

By Lane Palmer
Director of Equipping
Have you ever noticed that many Christians have lost their ‘horse sense’?

Dare 2 Share - I’ve read that when a group of thoroughbred horses face attack from an outside enemy, they get together in a circle facing each other- then they kick out at the attackers using their hind legs.
Donkeys, on the other hand, do just the opposite. They circle up, facing the enemy, and use their hind legs to kick each other!

Good move guys…nothing scares an enemy away faster than when you start beating each other up.

Perhaps that’s why the popular television show highlighting people with the IQ of dryer lint is named after donkeys.

Have you ever noticed that many Christians have lost their ‘horse sense’? We are always under attack from Satan and his demons, so naturally we should be circling up and kicking the enemy behind us. But this is not what I have seen. More often than not, believers turn into burros and start kicking each other around, even though they are facing attack.

The ‘kicks’ come in many forms- and they are all as helpful to the devil as his own attacks. For example, some burro believers use legalism as a favorite kicking tool. They think that they are God’s gift to the church or youth groups, so they self-righteously apply their idea of the Christian life to everyone else around them. They love to smack struggling believers with a ‘holier than thou’ attitude and make them think that they are saved by grace and kept by works.

I’ve seen other delivered donkeys who strike with the hoof of gossip. They love to hear the latest tidbits of information about others in the group- especially if it’s negative. Then they smugly pass along the tittle-tattle by way of a ‘prayer request’ because they are ‘concerned’. Sounds like a lot of hee-haw to me.

Ever been kicked by cliques? Try to work your way into the well established group of folks who play favorites with each other. As long as they are happy, they are oblivious to the needs and concerns of others. Sometimes I think Jesus Himself would have a hard time fitting into some of the mule-like ministries I’ve observed over the years.

I’ve been kicked by bitterness before…it does not feel good. It was that person’s responsibility to make things right and restore the unity between us, but instead this individual chose to turn around and whoop me upside the head.

Mules are very stubborn. It is extremely difficult to get them to change their ways. I think God knew this, which is why He gave a certain command:

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

In other words- get along little donkey! Turn your life around and stop kicking your own brothers and sisters! It breaks the heart of God to see us change from beautiful believers to malicious mules. It also brings Satan great happiness when he perceives us applying the donkey defense technique…it makes his job of destroying believers *oh* so much easier- especially when it is an inside job.

My guess is that you have been on the giving and receiving end of kicks in the end…now it is time to change. It is your job to leave the pack and get back in the race with the thoroughbred horses. I think you will find that the Christian life works much better when you are working together…in fact, you may discover that it is quite a kick!

Questions:

1) Is your church/youth group more like a group of horses or donkeys?

2) Why do we give in to Satan and kick our brothers and sisters around?

3) What is one thing you need to change as a result of reading this devotion?

Into Thy Word © 2004

Hey did you hear...?
Gossip the easiest way to destroy a friendship, divide the Christian Community and give a flag of victory to the evil one.

Scott C. Kalas

A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip breaks up close friends. Proverbs 16:28 NIV

The Message
A recent friend of mine told me how they were struggling with the gossip among their circle of friends. They were hesitant to share struggles and or other topics of discussion fearing how it may come back to hurt them. It has gotten to a point where they are thinking of attending service at another time or another church all together. They just wants to avoid the potential consequences of gossip, admitting gossip is one of the toughest sins they need to overcome.

I’ve personally seen some great friendships end or be greatly weaken because of this horrendous sin. We all are guilty to one extent or the other. It is so easy to fall into. For many they’ll fall victim to it with out even knowing it. Most times when this happens it has already achieved the evil ones purpose. That purpose is to cause dissension amongst brothers and sisters in Christ.

A person may approach a friend with whom they trust and speak to them in confidence on a matter that is very sensitive to them. They have been struggling to share the subject in fear others may hear and cast judgment on them. The friend may share it with someone who does not directly know the person, thinking it to be okay since it won’t get back to the person. Whether the person who confided knows the trust has broker does not matter. The friend has broken the trust! Would you want that trust you have given to someone else broken?

How often have you sat amongst a group of friends, in your home, a friend’s home, at work or any social gathering, even at church when the topic turns to a discussion on a particular person who is not present? Perhaps there are some peculiarities about this person that make it easy to voice a negative tone on this person. However you don’t speak a word not wanting to be a part of gossip. So you just sit back quietly listening. Proverb’s 17:4 speaks of how you as the listener is just as wicked as those speaking. Just because you are not speaking a word of gossip it does not free you from the sin of gossip.

If you are a victim of gossip don’t repay an evil act with an evil act of your own. Know that it is God who will seek revenge. In Romans 12:19 the Lord says, “It is mine to avenge.” Instead pray for healing for the hurt caused you and pray for the person who did you wrong. If the person approaches you asking for forgiveness grant it to them. You may need to ask God for strength depending upon the severity of the falsehood. If the person does not act for forgiveness and stands by there actions go to a brother or sister and as a group pray for guidance. You as brothers and sisters who are spiritual should make an effort to restore the fallen brother or sister. You may have to approach the elders of your church if the person refuses to acknowledge their sin and continues to spread the gossip to others.

We as Christians must remember that are actions are remembered more then the words of our faith in Jesus Christ. We are going to be scrutinized and judged by secular friends, co-workers and family members in a harsher manner being professed Christians. If there is one thing a critical non-believer likes to see is non-Christian behavior from a Christian. The evil one delights in it. It shows the non-believer that Christians are only hypocrites nothing more. The sin of gossip is one of the easiest sins to fall victim to.

As I think about my friend dealing with gossip by going to another service or church. They are falling victim to this sin just as the evil one wants them to. He knows there gossip exist in all churches and human nature of all those who attend. It will only be a short amount of time before this person falls to the gripping claws of gossip again.

How can we avoid falling victim to the demon named “gossip”? I can’t say it can be avoided 100% because we are only human. However, we should make a conscious effort to look for its presence and step away from it when it appears. If you know you are one who can easily be grasped in to this demon’s wishes include a request in your daily prayer to have God prompt and warn you when you are thinking of the words and to stop you before they are said. If you are unsure if you are a gossiper ask God to give you discernment when a conversations you are in turns to gossip. Ask him for the words to excuse yourself and if among Christians tell them why you wish to be excused and suggest they stop and discern their words. Remember to remove the log from your eye though before you cast judgment. Don’t speak words of gossip and when someone replies cast-unjustified accusations upon him or her.

What the Bible Says[1]
· Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness. - Exodus 23:1

· Do not go about spreading slander about your people – Leviticus 19:16

· On the testimony of two or three witnesses a man shall be put to death, but no one shall be put to death on the testimony of only one witness – Deuteronomy 17:6

· Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction. Their throat is an open grave; with their tongue they speak deceit. Psalms 5:9

· Everyone lies to their neighbor, their flattering lips speak with deception

· Lord who dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He who walks is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and who has no slander on his tongue who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman. Psalms 15:1-3

· He who conceals his hatred has lying lips and whoever spreads slander is a fool. Proverbs 10:18

· A gossip betrays a confidence but a trustworthy man holds his tongue. Proverbs 11:13

· When we put bits into the mouth of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Like wise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and it is itself set on fire by hell. James 3:3-6

· Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9

I recommend getting a good Bible commentary for further study on the above scripture. A personal recommendation is Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Commentary published by Thomas Nelson Publishers

The Next Steps in growth

If you have gossiped about someone confess it to God, ask for His forgiveness and ask God how you may correct the wrong you have done. It may be that you have to approach the person you gossiped about. Before doing so talk with a close Christian friend some you have a great trust and who is safe and they won’t further the issue by gossiping themselves.

After praying and talking to a friend and it is decided to confess your sin to the person or persons you gossiped about go to them and explain what you did. Tell them you regret your actions and will take actions to correct it. This may be going to those you gossiped to and telling them of your wrong. This should be the decision of the person who was gossiped about. Regardless you must take ownership of your actions. Do not attempt to blame it on others. When Christians fall but acknowledge their sin, it removes the flag of victory from the Satan. Further more it shows the non-believer as Christians we do sin but we acknowledge and take action to correct are wrongdoings.

Visit your local Christian Book store or visit an online retailer and find some books or Bible studies that cover will help you to claim victory on gossip

Prayer

Dear heavenly father we ask that you prompt us before our tongues spew words of gossip about friends, co-workers, family and even those who may have done us wrong. We ask for your forgiveness on those we may have already slandered through a malicious gossiping action. Show us ways we may correct are wrongs and give us the wisdom and courage to act upon those wrongs. We pray for those who we may have hurt through gossip whether intentionally or through lack of thinking before we spoke that they may be healed of the hurt we may have caused. We pray for this in Jesus name - Amen

[1] All scripture is from the New International Version
(http://www.bacpage.org/images/bpBLonWH.gif)
http://www.bacpage.org/messages/msg_gossip_073000.htm (http://www.bacpage.org/messages/msg_gossip_073000.htm)

Part 1
Pearl Street Baptist Church Pastor Ron Dixon
THE PROBLEM OF GOSSIP James 3:1-12

Four pastors were accustomed to meeting together weekly to pray for each other. One day, as they were meeting, it was agreed that they would confess their secret sins. The 1st pastor began, "My secret sin is anger. I may seem to you to be calm and collected, but underneath this calm exterior, I’m just seething with anger all the time." The 2nd pastor then confessed, "Brothers, my secret sin is envy. I look at the nice houses and cars of my parishioners and, well, I want that stuff for myself!" Then the 3rd pastor said, "My secret sin is lust. It’s something I’m constantly battling in my mind!" Finally, the 4th pastor spoke up, "Brothers, my secret sin is gossip, and, frankly, I can hardly wait for this meeting to end!"

I began a sermon series last Sunday on Practical Christian Living. After the service, someone asked me, "What are you going to preach on next week? Anger? Depression? Stress?" My response was, "Next week I’m going to preach on gossip, and, if you’re not here, I might just talk about you!" You’ll notice that I call this message The Problem of Gossip. Gossip is a problem, not only in the world, but in the Church. It is a problem in this church. I dare say it is likely that almost everyone here has been guilty of gossip at some point.

The Bible has much to say about gossip. I’m going to ask you to take your Bible, and consider with me the seven questions that are printed on your bulletin insert this morning:

1) What is gossip?

Webster defines gossip as "a rumor or report of an intimate nature." Gossip is idle talk, especially about the affairs of others; rumors; innuendo. Gossip is a cancer in the body of Christ. In II Corinthians 12:20, Paul wrote this to the Christians at Corinth:

For I fear lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I wish, and that I shall be found by you such as you do not wish; lest there be contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, backbitings, whisperings [i.e., gossiping], conceits, tumults;

This is how Paul hopes not to find the Corinthians—maliciously gossiping about one another!

2) Why do people enjoy gossip?

We do enjoy gossip, now don’t we? Secretly at least, we derive some pleasure out of talking down other people. Why?

a) We’re depraved! That’s precisely Paul’s theological point in Romans 1:28-29:

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers [i.e. gossipers]

b) To elevate self. We gossip about others because we are both proud and insecure (a lethal combination)! Also, gossip inflates our sense of self-importance (as it demonstrates we’re"in the know").

c) To exact revenge. The intent of gossip often is to harm the subject of the gossip, someone who you perceive to have offended you or bested you in some manner. In churches, what happens too often is people can’t win on an issue, so they get personal and downright nasty.

Needless to say, none of these motives in gossip are honoring to Christ.

3) Does gossip necessarily involve falsehoods?

In other words, if what I’m saying is true, does that mean it’s not gossip? The answer may surprise you! Look with me at Proverbs 11:13:

A talebearer reveals secrets,
But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.

A talebearer is a gossip, someone who"reveals secrets" or betrays confidences. The tale may be true or at least contain a kernel of truth and still be gossip, if there is harmful intent.

4) Isn’t gossip pretty harmless?

Gossip isn’t really that big a deal, is it, compared with the really big sins like murder or idolatry, right? Wrong! All sin is a "big deal" because it’s offensive to God. In fact, gossip is a sin that almost inevitably divides rather than unites. Solomon made precisely that point in Proverbs 16:28:

A perverse man sows strife,
And a whisperer separates the best of friends.

Part 2
Relationships are based upon qualities such as loyalty. Who is interested in a friendship with someone who can’t keep a confidence, or who puts you down behind your back? Not me!

We are warned several times in the New Testament to beware of divisive people in our churches. The word heretic means literally "one who divides." Few people are more divisive and destructive in the local church than the person who talks down others in the fellowship. Unchecked, gossipers can destroy a church, and, in a sense, they are robbers, for they steal peoples’ reputations (ultimately destroying their own).

The James passage that we began with doesn’t address gossiping, per se, but it does describe the tremendous damage that can be caused by the wrong use of the tongue. The tongue is like the bit in a horse’s mouth, or like the rudder on the ship—so small, yet so powerful. Don’t use your tongue to tear down your brothers and sisters in Christ, but rather to build them up! Use your tongue to praise God, not to curse God’s children!

The next time we’re tempted to say something to a third party about a brother or sister in the faith, perhaps we should reflect on the Golden Rule given by our Lord, to do unto others as we would have done unto us. Perhaps we would do well to recall how we have been hurt by rumor or innuendo sometime in our past, and refrain from doing that kind of damage to one we are called to love. After all, we all know how completely wrong that childhood ditty is, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." Nothing hurts worse than ill-intended words!

5) Is listening to gossip a sin?

The answer to that questions lies in the definition of the word gossip. Gossip is "idle talk," it is something which happens in the context of a conversation. Certain sins require 2 participants; gossip requires a listener. Listen, this is important. When someone calls you on the telephone, and says, "Did you hear about so-and-so," if you don’t stop that person in his tracks, in effect you are saying, "Go ahead and sin. It doesn’t bother me."

6) What should you do the next time someone begins to tell you gossip?

Charles Swindoll gives four excellent suggestions to silence gossips:

a) Identify sources by name. If someone is determined to share information that is damaging or hurtful, demand that the source be specifically stated. People who gossip almost always insist on keeping their "sources" anonymous!

b) Insist on facts. Do not accept hearsay. Refuse to listen unless honest-to-goodness truth is being communicated. You can tell. Truth is rarely veiled or uncertain. Rumors fade when exposed to the light.

c) Ask the person, "May I quote you?" It’s remarkable how quickly rumor-spreaders can turn four shades of red! Equally remarkable is the speed with which they can backpedal.

d) Openly declare, "I don’t appreciate hearing that." This approach is for the strong. It might drive a wedge between you and the guilty...but it’s a sure way to halt the regular garbage delivery to your ears.

7) What should you do when you have reason to believe a brother or sister has sinned?

Once again, the answer is found in the book of Proverbs:

He who covers a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separate friends. - Proverbs 17:9

You hear that I may be involved in some sin? The wrong thing to do, the unloving thing to do, is to talk to somebody else about it. That is destructive and divisive. It’s a form of murder, actually—it’s character assassination! The right thing to do is to cover the transgression. That doesn’t mean to ignore it or wink at it, but to deal with it in a loving and confidential manner. This principle is reaffirmed and amplified in Matthew 19. If I have sinned against you, what’s the first thing you’re supposed to do (according to Jesus)? You’re to come to me in confidence. Then if I’m unresponsive, there are other steps to take. Gossiping is not one of them! Gossiping is always the wrong thing to do. Gossip is sin in every circumstance and situation!

Part 3
The goal when a brother or sister has sinned is nothing less than restoration. Paul wrote:

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Galatians 6:1

Those are the seven questions I hoped to answer regarding gossip. However, as I was preparing this sermon, I realized there was one last question to be considered:

8 ) What do you do when you are the target of gossip?

If you are active in ministry, sooner or later you are likely to be the target of innuendo and rumor. I have been, and so have some of you. The natural inclination is to fight the whispered charges publicly and aggressively. I’m not saying there isn’t a time and place for that approach, but sometimes that has the effect of pouring gasoline on a fire. I have been drawn at such times to the psalms; Psalm 27, for example:

The LORD is my light, and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.

"To eat up my flesh" is an idiom the Hebrews used to describe slander and defamation. David is saying, "Let my enemies say and do what they will. God is my strength and my defense."

The Christian songwriter, Larry Norman, was the target of much gossip in the 1970's. He wrote a song about the experience, called "Shot Down:"

I’ve been shot down, kicked around
But like a moth drawn to the flame
Here I am talking about Jesus just the same.
The ultimate defense is a life well-lived, for the honor and glory of our Savior!

On a windswept hill in an English country churchyard stands a drab, gray slate tombstone, with this inscription:

BENEATH THIS STONE, A LUMP OF CLAY,
LIES ARABELLA YOUNG,
WHO, ON THE TWENTY-FOURTH OF MAY,
BEGAN TO HOLD HER TONGUE.

I would conclude with King David’s resolve, as found in Psalm 39:1. May it be my resolve, and your resolve, in particular when it comes to gossip:

I said, I will guard my ways and keep my tongue from sin.
Amen.

Part 1
GOSSIP AND SLANDER – THE DEADLY SINS
"The words of a tale-bearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly."(Prov. 18:8 KJV)
Steve and Sarah are Christians who were a part of a closely knit family. Steve caused division in the family by slandering Sarah so that their entire family turned against her. They believed his lie, though he had no evidence for the statements he had made. As a result, Sarah no longer has contact with her family. She has been ostracized as a result of a lie.

Because the sins of gossip and slander are rampant among Christians, there are many other cases like this. Many Christians have been deceived and hurt their own relatives, even their own Christian families. They have slandered their own Christian friends. Many times Christians have slandered others causing defamed reputations and broken hearts.
These sins of gossip and slander are widespread and have serious consequences. Many of us are not aware of the devastation resulting from a slip of the tongue, saying something negative about somebody else, or making false accusations. I cannot over emphasize the severe consequences of this sin; I have seen much harm as a result.
In our generation the breaking up of families is common. Often we think this is caused by the pressures of the world around us: financial problems, the lack of friendships due to our busy schedules, or pornography to name just a few. However, our most dangerous attack is from our own willful sin. In particular, slander and gossip.

Speaking Falsely

Gossip is defined in Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary as "a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts." Gossip "is a rumor or report of an intimate nature." Slander is defined as "the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage another's reputation." Many of us think that false refers to anything obviously untrue. However, according to definition, it is also something that "is adjusted or made so as to deceive," "is tending to mislead," "is not faithful or loyal," or "is inconsistent with the facts."
The word tale-bearer is used for the word gossip in the King James version of the Bible. The word gossip is used in the New International version (NIV). Tale-bearer defines the word gossip well. Proverbs 11:13 states that "A tale-bearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter." The Bible also states that "…Whoever spreads slander is a fool." (Prov. 10:18) "A truthful witness gives honest testimony but a false witness tells lies." (Prov. 12:17 NIV) "Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow is the man who gives false testimony against his neighbor." (Prov. 25:18 NIV)
One of the ten commandments (which is often forgotten) warns against giving false testimony or witness. The following passage is from Matthew 19:16-19 NIV: "…A man came up to Jesus and asked, 'Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?' …Jesus replied,...'If you want to enter life, obey the commandments.' 'Which ones?' the man inquired. Jesus replied, 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself.'" Clearly Jesus taught that giving false testimony (e.g., gossip and slander) is sin.
Paul, expounding on the commandments says, "Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery,' 'You shall not murder,' 'You shall not steal,' 'You shall not bear false witness,' 'You shall not covet,' and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." (Rom. 13:8-l0) The NIV states it in this way, "…Whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to its neighbor…."
Christians need to beware if they are sharing intimate information, speaking false statements or misrepresentations to others about other people. For we are not loving our neighbor and we are not loving God. When we state something false, we are doing ill to ourselves, to another person and to God. "The hypocrite (or the godless) with his mouth destroys his neighbor." (Prov. 11:9) God is not pleased when you speak falsely. He deals very seriously with this sin because slander and gossip can destroy. For "Death and life are in the power of the tongue ... " (Prov. 18:21)

Part 2
The Mouth is the Heart's Mirror
Jesus made it very clear that what comes out of a man's mouth is what is in his heart. If slander and gossip are coming out of your mouth, then that's what is inside your heart. If you are making false statements or slandering you have hurtful behavior towards others within you.
Jesus said, "…Listen and understand. What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man 'unclean.'..."(Matt. 15:10,11,19,20 NIV)
Note that false testimony and slander are included with murder, adultery, and stealing.
Stop Gossiping and Slandering
Those who have been involved in gossip and slander need to repent so that harm will not come to them and others.
"For our offenses are many in your sight, and our sins testify against us. Our offenses are ever with us, and we acknowledge our iniquities: rebellion and treachery against the Lord, turning our backs on our God, fomenting oppression and revolt, uttering lies our hearts have conceived. So justice is driven back, and righteousness stands at a distance; truth has stumbled in the streets, honesty cannot enter. Truth is nowhere to be found, and whoever shuns evil becomes a prey." (Is. 59:12-15 NIV)
As this scripture states, when we slander and gossip it causes justice to be driven back. It hides the truth and righteousness stands at a distance. As a result, unrighteousness prevails. Injustice prevails. People who are innocent become hurt. The people that you are speaking falsely about get hurt. In the example above, not only was Sarah hurt, but also her family, friends and acquaintances.
"'…Hear the word of the Lord, all you people of Judah who come through these gates to worship the Lord. This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: Reform your ways and your actions, and I will let you live in this place. Do not trust in deceptive words and say, 'This is the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord! If you really change your ways and your actions and deal with each other justly, if you do not oppress the alien, the fatherless or the widow and do not shed innocent blood in this place, if you do not follow other gods to your own harm, then I will let you live in this place… Will you steal and murder, commit adultery and perjury, burn incense… and follow other gods you have not known, and then come and stand before Me in this house which bears my name and say we are safe, safe to do all these detestable things? Has this house, which bears My Name, become a den of robbers to you? But I have been watching! declares the Lord.'" (Jer. 7:2-7,9-11 NIV)
If you are a Christian and you're involved in sin of any sort, in particular gossip or slander, you are not safe to say, "I am going to church" or "I am religious." God sees your heart. God knows what you are doing. Others will know what you're doing as well.
"...To the wicked (which include supposed Christians who are walking in darkness in the areas of slander and gossip or other sin), God says: 'What right have you to recite my laws or take my covenant on your lips? You hate my instruction and cast my words behind you. When you see a thief, you join with him; you throw in your lot with adulterers. You use your mouth for evil and harness your tongue to deceit. You speak continually against your brother (or sister) and slander your own mother's son (or daughter). These things you have done and I kept silent; you thought I was altogether like you. But I will rebuke you and accuse you to your face." (Ps. 50:16-21 NIV)

Part 3

Danger!
There is a danger to those who are involved in promoting this sin.
"Therefore this is what the Lord Almighty says: 'See, I will refine and test them, for what else can I do because of the sin of my people? Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks with deceit. With his mouth each speaks cordially to his neighbor, but in his heart he sets a trap for him. Should I not punish them for this?' declares the Lord. "Should I not avenge myself on such a nation as this?'" (Jer. 9:7-9 NIV)
During Old Testament times, if a malicious witness were to take the stand to accuse a man of a crime, the two men involved in the dispute were to stand in the presence of the Lord before the priests and the judges who were in office at the time. The judges made a thorough investigation and if the witness proved to be a liar, giving false testimony against (or slandering) his brother, then they were to do to him as he intended to do to his brother. This is how they purged the evil from among them. The rest of the people would hear of this and be afraid and never again would such an evil thing be done among them. They were to show no pity. Life for life; eye for eye; tooth for tooth; hand for hand; foot for foot. "A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free." Instead, "…He who pours out lies will perish." (Prov. 19:5,9 NIV) "A false witness will perish, and whoever listens to him will be destroyed forever." (Prov. 21:28 NIV) "Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy… (Ps. 10l:5 ) It was (and is) a very grievous matter to promote falsehood or to be a false witness. Just as grievous is the one who becomes part of this by receiving and believing the lie.
In addition to the Old Testament, what does the New Testament have to say about slander... those who speak falsely about someone else? When the people were asking John the Baptist what they needed to do to repent, he gave specific instructions to different individuals. One particular group he told to stop accusing people falsely. (Luke 3:14) Paul taught the following: "..I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man, do not even eat." (I Cor. 5:11 NIV)
If persons that are involved in gossip and slander do not repent of their deeds, the Lord states that they will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Jesus said, "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches…."(Rev. 22:12-16 NIV)
He that loves and practices falsehood will not be in the kingdom of God when the consummation comes. Believers that follow these lies of gossip and slander will be separated eternally from God if they don't repent for practicing and loving falsehoods. Notice that falsehood is in the same category as witchcraft and sorcery and murderers. God Himself says in Proverbs 6:16-19 that there are six things He hates, seven that are detestable to Him and included in that list is a false witness who pours out lies.

Part 4
The Solution
What should a Christian do who is a gossiper or slanderer? A Christian who is involved in this, either spreading or listening to gossip and slander, needs to repent. Go before God, tell Him that you are sorry and ask Him to change your heart. For it is from your heart that this wickedness has proceeded. You also need to watch your tongue. There is a scripture song from Psalm 141:3 that says, "Set a watch, 0 Lord, set a watch, set a watch before my mouth. Keep the key, Oh Lord, keep the key, keep the key of my lips. As the scripture says it shall be, a prayer from the heart of me. Set a watch, oh Lord, set a watch, set a watch before my mouth."
I recommend praying or singing a prayer something like that.
Next, obey God and do not spread false reports. Stop speaking falsely about other people. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness or being part of circulating a lie. "Do not go about spreading slander (or being a tale-bearer) among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor's life. I am the Lord. " (Lev. 19:16 NIV)
I recommend meditating on the following scriptures concerning the tongue:
"Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth." (Ps. 34:11-16 NIV)
"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." (Prov. 13:3 NIV)
"He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity. (Prov. 21:23 NIV)
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Prov. 18:21)
"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:26 NIV)
"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." (James 3:5,6,10-12 NIV)

Dealing with Gossip and Slander
What should one do if confronted with gossip or slander? If it is obvious that what is being said belongs in one of these categories, then simply tell the person that you are not interested in that information. Confront them about being a gossip or slanderer as appropriate. If it is not obvious, or if the information you hear raises a serious concern about the one being spoken about, go to that person and find out if that statement is true. Do not pass on the questionable information to others during this process. Doing this will stop (or slow) the sin of gossip or slander from spreading and possibly rescue someone who is in sin. You will keep your own conscience clear and yourself free from sin, too.
What should a Christian do who realizes a Christian is a slanderer? The Bible states if your brother sins go to him. If he listens to you, you've won over your brother. If he doesn't, take one or two with you. If he doesn't listen to him, take it to the church. If he doesn't listen to the church, than do not associate with him. As stated in I Corinthians 5:11 NIV: "But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. 'Expel the wicked man from among you.'" Clearly slanderers, if they do not repent of their sin when confronted, are to be expelled from the church. Others who participate in their slander by believing and promoting their lies become slanderers themselves and are also told to repent. If they don't, they are to be expelled from the church, too. You're not even to eat with such a one but to treat them as an outsider. Perhaps then their soul will be saved in the day of judgment. Remember,
"…Where there is no tale-bearer, strife ceases." (Prov.26:20)
and
"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much." (Prov. 20:19 NIV)
Comfort to Victims
Finally, what is God saying to those that are victims of slander?
"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matt. 5:11,12 NIV)
You are not the only ones who have been falsely accused. John the Baptist was falsely accused of having a demon. (Luke 7:33) The disciples at Pentecost were ridiculed and called drunk after they received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. (Acts 2:13) Steven was falsely accused by the Sanhedrin (religious leaders) who produced false witnesses who testified, saying, "..This fellow never stops speaking against this holy place and against the law."(Acts 6:13 NIV) Paul was taken before a king and called a trouble maker. He was accused of stirring up riots among the Jews all over the world and even of desecrating the temple. (Acts 24:5,6) Paul was aware of the slander spoken against him. (Rom.3:8) Jesus was told he cast out demons by Satan. He was called a glutton and a drunkard. Remember Jesus' response: "...wisdom is proved right by her actions." (Matt. 11:18,19 NIV)
"The chief priests and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for false evidence against Jesus so that they could put him to death." (Mt. 26:59 NIV)
It's amazing that even the leaders of the Israelite nation at the time were trying to kill the Son of God who was preaching truth, righteousness, healing and delivering many people. If religious leaders did that to Jesus, they will persecute us also. (Jn. 15:20) And "…Everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." (2 Tim. 3:12 NIV)
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, 'If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?' So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." (I Pet. 4:12-19 NIV)
http://www.usarepent.com/Chapters/Gossip%20and%20Slander.htm (http://www.usarepent.com/Chapters/Gossip%20and%20Slander.htm)

Gossip
by Barbara Smith

One humorist explained gossip as "something that goes in one ear, out the other, and over the back fence." John Brantingham winked at gossip saying, "There's so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it little behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us."

Though Christians may chuckle sympathetically, we know gossip fuels so many daily conversations. And we know Scripture doesn't wink at gossip, or the bearer of careless tales: Solomon condemns those who betray a confidence, calling him, or her, perverse! He says a gossip separates close friends. ( Prov. 11:13, 6:28) Gossip goes deep into the heart of those who hear it, and fans the flames of quarrels. ( Prov. 18:8, 26:20)

George Eliot described gossip as "a sort of smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it; it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker." (_Daniel Deronds_) What a portrayal of too many of our conversations, even those among Christians!

When we choke on the putrid air of gossip, how can we throw open a window and freshen stale conversations? How can we squelch this passion to repeat and listen to unwise words we readily confess?

1. Confess that we are part of the problem. We have unclean lips and live among a people of unclean lips! We all have gossiped, deliberately, accidentally. Scripture calls anyone a gossip who spreads rumors or idle, fruitless tales. Solomon counsels the godly, "avoid a man [or woman] who talks too much." (Prov. 20:19) The apostle Paul described some early believers as "not only idle but gossips [tattlers, KJV] and busybodies." (1 Tim. 5:13)

2. Remember the origin of gossip: understood the origin of gossip: "And there 's a lust in man no charm can tame Of loudly publishing our neighbour's shame; On eagles' wings immortal scandals fly, While virtuous actions are but born and die." (Stephen Harvey circa 1627 Juvenal, Satire ix)

3. Remember the One who hears every word. Gossiping grieved the Lord and Jesus warned, "For every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment." (Matt. 12:36)

When we are tempted with chatty talk, "Remember, every time you open your mouth to talk, your mind walks out and parades up and down the words." (Edwin H. Stuart) What we say, shows who we are: "Language is the apparel in which your thoughts parade before the public. Never clothe them in vulgar or shoddy attire." (George Crane)

The Talmud advises practical discretion when we encounter friends who eagerly repeat rumors or reports of intimate nature. "The friend has a friend, and thy friends' friend has a friend: be discrete." If discretion won't restrain the folks dying to dish the dirt, perhaps common sense will. A gentle reminder that "Who gossips to you, will gossip of you," might end unkind conversations.

Love in Christ,
bwsmith
-----------------------------------------------------------
© Barbara W. Smith 2000, all rights reserved
http://www.pds-thirdfloor.com/gossip.html (http://www.pds-thirdfloor.com/gossip.html)

"Choose Your Words Carefully"

James 3:1-12

Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Choose your words carefully. I should know. As a pastor I’ve gotten into trouble because I didn’t. I may have meant something entirely different than the way my words were taken. I may have not considered how what I said could have sounded like to someone who didn’t understand. I may not have really meant what I said. Whatever the case, not choosing my words carefully caused damage to relationships, to the ministry of this church. And thus James wrote, Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. Pastors and teachers and staff ministers are "judged more strictly" by God, whose Word it is they proclaim, and by people whose souls are entrusted to their care. So we need to be careful to say what we mean and mean what we say.

But what is true for a teacher or preacher is just as true for all Christians. All of us need to choose our words carefully. As James wrote, [ships] are so large and are driven by strong winds,[yet] they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. We all have had the experience of saying the wrong words or thoughtless words to disastrous ends. Yet as Christians we need to remember that we represent Christ as Ambassadors of God. And as Ambassadors of God people take what we say seriously.

Luck

For that reason today I want to talk about five things that should not be a part of a Christian’s speech. The first thing that shouldn’t be a part of a Christian speech are the words "luck" and "fortune." I know we use those words without thinking. We say "It was bad luck that it rained on Kick Off Sunday." Or, "Isn’t our church fortunate to have such a good organist?" Or, "Wasn’t she lucky to marry such a nice man." Or, "What a lucky bounce!"

But as Christians we don’t believe in luck or fortune. We believe in God, and a Scripture-informed faith knows that all good gifts are ultimately from God. The concept of luck states that good things happen just by accident. And most people believe that things just happen by chance, or worse yet, some sort of cosmic karma. When we use those words: "luck" and "fortune" we unwittingly reinforce that understanding.

Instead of saying that someone is lucky or fortunate we need to say what we mean and mean what we say. We should say that people are blessed. Such words reflect the spiritual reality behind the event that others would label as luck . We know that every good gift is from God. So talk like it! When something good happens say something like, "thank God" or "What a wonderful blessing, it’s a gift from God."

http://www.cosrock.org/Sermon-2000-09-17.htm (http://www.cosrock.org/Sermon-2000-09-17.htm)
Sermon No. 639
Christ Our Savior Lutheran Church
September 17, 2000 Pentecost 14 B RCL

"Choose Your Words Carefully" - cont.
Pessimism

Another thing that shouldn’t be in a Christian’s speech are words of pessimism. There are some people who just seem to be able to put a pessimistic slant on anything. Once upon a time there was a man who won a million dollars. Upon hearing this news he became despondent. When asked why he said, "Do you know what the taxes are on a million dollars?"

When things same bleak, or when they don’t go the way we had hoped, we sometimes spew pessimism, saying words like "hopeless" or giving the impression we believe things are. But if God is the Almighty, and Christ is the Savior, and the Holy Spirit is at work in the world, is any situation truly hopeless? Is any person truly hopeless - beyond even the grasp of God? If God had thought someone was or would be, then he would not have sent his Son to die for their hopeless cause. (Remember, Jesus Christ died for all people, not just the "good" ones!)

The spiritual truth is that there is hope! So our words should offer hope. No matter how bleak a situation we should not give in to pessimism. I am not advocating polyanism. We can admit that a situation is bad and still offer hope. After all Jesus never lied to us about how bad our situation was - his word is clear, "the wages of sin is death", but he never left it at that. He also offered us hope, "the gift of God is eternal life".

Self Determination

Another thing that should not be a part of a Christians speech are words of self determination. James himself addressed this issue in Chapter 4. He wrote that we should not say things like, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money"(4:13). As James points out we don’t know if we will even be alive tomorrow, let alone next year. We are not in charge of our own future. Only God knows.

So instead of saying, "I will do this or that" we should say, "Lord willing, I will do this or that." You see, most people like to think they are "Masters of their own destiny." But we know that destiny has nothing to do with it and God is the master of our future. God is the one who will determine if we can do this or that. We may make plans but our speech should reflect Christ’s reign not only in our lives but all life.

Slurs

Another thing that should not be a part of a Christian’s speech is racial slurs. Of course there are the obvious examples, those offensive names that hate mongers have spread for certain racial groups. Where there is a racial slur, there is racial prejudice. There is no excuse for a Christian ever using those words. I don’t care if your parents or grandparents used those names and taught you to. Just because they did it doesn’t make it right. And just because they taught you to speak like that doesn’t mean you can’t unlearn that habit. This of course includes racial jokes. I remember when I was little we used to tell Polish jokes. We didn't call them that. We had another term for them. These jokes basically made Polish people seem ignorant and unthinking. There are similar groups of jokes for just about every race of people.

And so James wrote, With the tongue ... we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. We were all made in the image of God whether we are red, yellow, black, white, male, or female. When we tell a racial joke it demeans a whole group of people. Those people were created in God's image, Christ Jesus rose from the dead for all people and if we curse them we are cursing God. I am sorry if I stepped on a few toes but racial slurs and humor should not be part of a Christian's speech.

Gossip

Another thing that should not be part of a Christian's speech is gossip. You have heard the joke, "I don't repeat gossip, so you had better listen good the first time." Well Christians shouldn't listen or tell it the first time. But what is gossip? Webster’s Dictionary defines it as a "rumor or report of an intimate nature." Gossip is any rumor or tale of another person’s personal life that is told because of its sensational nature. The problem is that often times the rumor is either not true or is completely out of context.

Most importantly Christians should not spread gossip because it shows no respect or love for the people involved. If we truly love our neighbor then we will respect their feelings. They probably don't want everyone to know their business. And if they do, it is their place to tell everyone not yours. James was right, Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Conclusion

Well, so much for the tongue lashing! I would be extremely remiss if I didn’t say one more thing: for the sake of Jesus never sinning with his speech and then having his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth in death, God forgives you all the trouble you have caused with your tongue. And this forgiveness is not the sham kind, where it only comes if you behave for a while first. No, this is total free, all is forgiven, all is forgotten forgiveness. This is the only way it can be for James was also right when he wrote, We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man. Only Jesus is the perfect man and only because of Jesus does God forgive us. This is really good news.

And this changes everything about how we now use our tongues. Now we can allow them to be used by God to kindle the flames of the Holy Spirit. Choose your words carefully - pick the words of truth, the words of the Gospel and then when you speak you will start the right kind of fires. So choose your words carefully. Take the time to think about what you say, how it will be taken, and what it will do. See to it that your words truly reflect the truth of God and not the lies of the devil. But most of all use your words to proclaim the hope and love of our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ, his Son, our Savior. Amen.

http://www.cosrock.org/Sermon-2000-09-17.htm (http://www.cosrock.org/Sermon-2000-09-17.htm)
Sermon No. 639
Christ Our Savior Lutheran Church
September 17, 2000 Pentecost 14 B RCL

The Anatomy of Gossip
November 13, 2001
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." Romans 14:19 (NIV)

Galen (c. 130-200 A.D.) was an ancient Greek physician who cast a long shadow over the late Roman Empire and the Middle Ages. For well over a thousand years, Galen's descriptions of the inner workings of the human body were upheld as authoritative by European and Islamic scholars.

There was a problem, however: Galen had never once dissected a human body! Because dissection of humans was forbidden in his day, Galen's descriptions of the internal workings of human beings were based almost exclusively on his dissections of pigs. It wasn't until the sixteenth century that the work of Vesalius exposed Galen's unwarranted anatomical leap from pigs to humans and gave birth to the modern science of human anatomy.

Before we come down too hard on Galen, though, we should look at ourselves for a moment. If we do, we'll see that we also can make unwarranted leaps based on insufficient or false information. Just think back, for example, to a time when you heard some information about a certain person second- or third-hand, passed it on to others, and then later found out that the information was dead wrong.

Gossip's main purpose is to spread misery. It's certainly not to build people up or minister to them in the name of Jesus. A gossip's wake is littered by damaged families and broken relationships: "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends" (Prov. 16:28).

As Christians, we're called to put the brakes on the spread of gossip. And not only gossip about people we know, but also gossip about those we don't know. Like others, I've been guilty of spinning pretty little stories about certain political figures, even though I had no proof that what I was saying even resembled the truth. I foolishly thought that spreading gossip would make me more popular.

How about you? Are you modeling God's standard of truthfulness and honesty? Are you known as someone who confronts gossip? Or do you pass it on with a few added details of your own?

If you have a weakness in this area, bring it before the Lord and ask trustworthy members of your church to help hold you accountable. As you move beyond gossiping about others, you'll find more time to show them the unconditional love of Jesus. And you might just make a few new friends in the process.

— Matt Donnelly, for the ChristianityToday.com staff
http://www.christianitytoday.com/free/connection/2001/conn1113.html (http://www.christianitytoday.com/free/connection/2001/conn1113.html)

Gentle Shepherd Ministries

Overcoming Attacks Of Gossip

Have you ever wondered why some people find pleasure in gossip? Gossip is one of the most destructive things that the devil uses to kill, steal and destroy.

It is such a shame, but Christians in churches who gossip cause people to stop going to church. Some may never recover, and the ones who have gossiped and maligned others, will have to stand before God one day and
answer to what they have done. I pity them..

It seems that the sin of gossip is the most common tool the devil uses on those who call themselves Christians. They may be, but they are not walking in the Spirit when they gossip. They are causing divisions, In their heart lives strife, jealousy and anger, and most of all, they are selfish, for they do not
care what happens to the other person they are gossiping about.

Galatians 6:18-21 But if you are led by the Spirit, you
are under the law. The acts of a sinful nature are obvious. Sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; Idolatry,
fits of rage, selfish ambitions, dissension, fractions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, And the like. I warn you, as I did
before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Sometimes, for no apparent reason, there will be someone who just does not like you, and they will gossip and get great
pleasure spreading ugly rumors about you. You will probably spend a lot of energy and waste time trying to let people know that the gossip is a lie. But alas, you will find that the harder you try, the worse the situation becomes. If you are being gossiped about, being victimized by slanderous lies, I do hope that you will resist the temptation to strike back verbally.

Psalm 141:3 Set a watch on my mouth O Lord. Before My mouth keep the door of my lips.

Do as David did, Ask God to intervene on your behalf, and make sure that you too do not become a participate in slander, PRAY! For God to set watch over your mouth and Keep it shut. Keep in mind that Jesus said "Love your
enemies, Bless them that curse you, Do Good to them which despitefully use you And persecute you" (Matthew 5:44)

Then be confident that God will Supernaturally intervene on your behalf And set matters right.

Psalm 140:12 I know the LORD will maintain the cause
Of the afflicted, and the right of the poor.

Pray also for the Lord to put snares, out Before the enemy and catch them in their own trap, for I have prayed this many
times ,and I have seen God intervene supernaturally. The Lord will have compassion on you, For he loves you.

http://www.my.homewithgod.com/mygentleshepherd/page5.html (http://www.my.homewithgod.com/mygentleshepherd/page5.html)

Gossip in church
Few things are as enticing as finding out secrets. It is the main task of the media, finding out things and telling others.
"For the good of the people."
"We have a right to know."
"So you can pray for him."

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.
Proverbs 18:8

I have been the subject of a nasty little gossip ring. Four people I thought were my friends were trading rumours about me. When I confronted one of them, she said it was because they were "concerned" about me. They were so concerned that they couldn’t pick up the phone or write a letter, drop round to see me or send an email. They were more concerned with spreading what they thought were my guilty secrets. Never mind that their "news" was bad guesses showing the situation in the worst possible light, or that their guesses were completely wrong. Never mind that none of these people had even seen me in several weeks. They were "concerned."

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
James 3:7-8

More insidious than an outright lie is the lie or guess wrapped around a truth. The truth is used to validate the gossip’s interpretation of the facts as the whole truth. Gossip can contain truth ("She hasn’t been in church for a month") wrapped in guesses ("because she’s given up on God"), but that doesn’t make it true.

When gossip spreads, the victim is hurt, betrayed and ridiculed. Few gossips have the courage or decency to tell their victim what is going on. Most of us find out by accident. Gossips do not care about who they’re hurting. If they did care, they would try to help or point out our errors and mistakes to us personally, not just talk to other people about their "concerns" for us.

Christians can be as bad as non Christians. The Christian gossip may claim they are spreading their news so people can "pray for" the victim, so that "we know what kind of person" he or she is, because they are "so concerned about him/her."

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
James 1:26

Gossip hurts. Trust is destroyed, feelings trampled. So what do you do when someone tries to pass you the latest "news?" A simple question can expose a gossip:

"Does s/he know you’re saying this?"

Nine times out of ten, the victim has no idea. The gossip will bluster and swear that they were personally recruited by him/her to spread the "news" to all and sundry. The only honest thing to do next is go to the victim and let them know what’s going on. They will be understandably hurt and upset. But if you say nothing, the gossip will continue.

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Proverbs 11:13

If you are the victim, you need to confront the gossips. Writing a letter is a good method because you get to rewrite it as many times as you need. Tell them you know they are gossiping, and you are hurt by their actions. You may be able to shame them into stopping. They may just carry on. If they do, follow the directions of Matthew 18: 15-20. Confront individually, then in company, then with an authority figure. But don’t stoop to their level. And forgive them.

When I say forgive, I don’t mean forget. We cannot wipe memories from our minds. They hurt you, and proved how trustworthy they really are. So forgive them, and then be careful who you trust and who you talk to.

If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
James 3:1

No-one on this earth is perfect. But there is no excuse for gossip.

Copyright © 2000 Alison Hawke
http://www.gospelcom.net/cdp/articles/gossip.htm (http://www.gospelcom.net/cdp/articles/gossip.htm)

Part I
DEALING WITH GOSSIP

There are, generally, three ways in which we discover we are in some form of conflict: (1) we realize that we hold something against another (Matt. 18:12-35); (2) we realize another holds something against us (Matt. 5:21-26); and (3) we discover, or are being drawn into, a conflict of others.

Now, conflict is neither good nor bad, but neutral. It exists because we are sinners -- seekers of self-interest, in rebellion against God's ways. And we live in a fallen world. But because it exists, it must be brought under the Lordship of Christ.

In the Bible, and the life of Christ, God has given us instruction on how to deal with conflict so He will be glorified. These conflicts have the ability to prove the accuracy of Rom. 8:28: that even sinful things can be turned to God's glory when we deal with them according to His plan. This article will deal with how we are to behave when someone begins to, often unintentionally, draw us into the conflict of others.

Gossip is a means by which we are often drawn into the conflicts of others. We need to know what it is and how to deal with it biblically. It is critical for the Church, individual Christians, and Christian leaders, to know the part gossip plays in conflict, for gossip causes great division in our churches.

First, let's define gossip. Webster says: "Idle talk and rumors about others; chatter." The Greek word in the New Testament is defined "whisperer" (one who will not speak openly or aloud). The Old Testament Hebrew word meant "slanderer or tale-bearer".

I want to propose the following as a definition: "Gossip is the vocalization of potentially destructive things about another, whether true or false, when that other person is either specifically identified or readily identifiable, and when that other person is not present and able to respond."

You may believe this definition is too broad. Please reserve such a judgment until we look at how God views gossip, and how He instructs us to deal with it.

What does God think about gossips?

He tells us to not associate with gossips: "He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets; Therefore, do not associate with a gossip." (Prov. 20:19)

God lists gossip alongside people who: do not acknowledge God; have a depraved mind; are full of unrighteousness, slander, wickedness, greed, malice, murder, strife, deceit, and envy; who hate God; are insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and people who approve such things. (Rom. 1:28-32)

In short, God hates gossip. Gossip is an unmistakable evil, reprehensible and detestable -- an abomination. But, why?

Gossip is always making an accusation against another. Prov. 3:30 says: "Do not contend with a man without cause, if he has done you no harm." We need to understand that an accusation against another must be made to the person themselves, within the process of Matt. 18:12-35.

Gossip reveals things God would rather see kept secret. Prov. 11:13 says: "He who goes about as a tale-bearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter."

Gossip is just an outlet for hatred. Prov. 10:12 says: "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions."

Worst of all, gossip causes division. Prov. 12:18 says: "There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Prov. 16:28 says: "A perverse man spreads strife and a slanderer separates intimate friends." Pro. 17:9 adds: "He who covers (does not repeat) a transgression promotes love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends."

Gossip causes offenses. It will separate because the one who gossips must now justify and defend their sin of gossip, preventing them from dealing with other sins in their life. The victim of gossip gets angry and bitter and senses having been wronged, which prevents them from receiving admonition about areas of their life which may need change. Each person becomes, as is shown in Prov. 18:19: "A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle."

Gossip keeps conflict going, and peace away: "For lack of wood the fire goes out, where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down." (Prov. 26:20)

But there are people who are just as bad as a gossip, although you find no direct references to them in Scripture. The people I am speaking about might be called "listening posts". They are the people who allow the gossiper to gossip. They can terminate gossip and lessen its negative impact if they know how to recognize gossip, and deal with a gossiper. I am afraid that "they" are "us".

There are other people just as bad as a gossiper, although, again, you find no ready reference to them in Scripture. They might be called "rejecters", or possibly "condemners". They are people who allow gossip to separate them from another person or, as a result of gossip, deal unrighteously with another person. They choose up sides without knowledge. They also must know how to recognize gossip and deal with a gossiper. "They" are also "us".

We need to realize that: (1) God has provided instruction on how to deal with conflicts; and, (2) the act of gossip is an act done outside of that process. That is why merely speaking words about the actions or inactions of another person which harm the image of that person, except in furtherance of God's restorative process (Matt. 18:15-17) is sin, even if we speak truth.

And listening to the words of gossip, except when participating in God's process, is also sin.

Finally, acting upon what we hear and then cutting off our relationship from another is also sin -- and possibly the worst sin of the three.

God's process for dealing with disputes, in its simplest form, is that any person who discovers that they have a dispute with another, or believes another is in sin, must, at once, seek out the other -- regardless of who is at fault -- and attempt to resolve the dispute and become reconciled in relationship (Matt 5:21-26 and Matt. 18:12-35). This is more important to God than being in church or giving an offering.

It is to be done with an eye to restoration of relationship of each person to God, and to one another. It is to be done because we are sinners saved only by His grace (Matt. 5:22), who were straying sheep for whom He died (Matt. 18:12-14) and we have been forgiven more than any other could possibly owe us (Matt. 18:21-35).

If this were practiced, in right manner and attitude, there would never be gossip, for matters would be "covered" between the people directly involved, or they would be brought before witnesses in Matt. 18:16.

So, how should we deal with gossip?

If someone (Party #1) gossips to you, it automatically means they have a conflict with another (Party #2). Gossip always discloses the existence of a conflict. When #1 gossips to you, they are doing so because: (a) they want you to empathize with them in a sense of victimization, anger and bitterness; and, (b) they want you to alter your relationship with #2.

Thus when #1 begins to gossip to you -- to give you information about #2 which you have no need to know -- interrupt! Then, open the Scriptures to #1, at Matt. 5 or Matt. 18, and ask them if they have spoken personally to #2 about whatever it is that they feel needs to be dealt with. Explain the evils of gossip.

Part II

At this point, #1 will say either "no" or "yes". If "no", speak to them about the need for them to go to #2 and confront the matter which is causing them so much concern that they are gossiping about it. Explain to #1 that if they have gossiped to others about this, they must confess that sin to #2 (Jas. 5:16), ask forgiveness, and that this must be done before they can begin to speak to #2 about their concerns. #1 also needs to go to those to whom they gossiped and ask forgiveness for making them listening posts. Say to #1 that you will ask them, within a week, what they have done with your admonition and instruction.

Or, let's assume that when you stop #1 in the midst of their gossip, they repent, they have not spread this to others, and they received it in gossip. Then they need not go to #2, but they ought to go to the one from whom they received the gossip, ask forgiveness for receiving the gossip, and teach that person what that person needs to do.

Let's assume that the week goes by, you ask #1, and they have not gone and made things right. Let's also assume that the matter is something which needs to be set right. For example, we may discuss open and public actions or words of another person as a learning process, without being gossips (as Paul discussed matters concerning Peter in the letter to the Galatians, and also discussed the acts of the man in I Cor. 5). In such a discussion, however, statements without foundation may not be made, nor judgments of heart or motive cast about.

Well, #1 has done nothing. Your next move is to explain to #1 that your relationship with them is now a relationship within Matt. 18:15-17a. Explain to them of the desperate need for them to get this matter right with God. Exhort them. Maybe offer to go with them to #2. But also explain to them that if they persist in not being obedient to the Word, you may have to gather others to come and confront them -- Matt. 18:16.

You now have the right (not necessarily obligation) -- in manner, speed and spirit as directed by the Holy Spirit -- to move up the ladder of Matt. 18:15-17a in confronting #1 of their sin. The sin of #1 is unrepentance concerning their gossip.

Now, let's move back to your first confrontation with #1, and assume that they say that they have gone to #2, and that it did no good. Commend them for their action, but explain to them that you, and others, still do not need any information about the issues between #1 and #2; that is, #1's telling you of this matter is still gossip. Explain to #1 that he/she now has two choices: (1) move up the Matt. 18 ladder with #2; or (2) overlook the matter and let it go, having exercised the role of watchman (Ezekiel 33).

Should #1 want you to go with them to #2, as a "witness" (Matt. 18:16), agree. But to go as a witness, you still do not need any information other than the fact that #1 has a dispute with #2, and needs people to help bring peace.

Let's assume that #1 says they have taken one or two and #2 is still not listening and continuing in their sinful behavior. What do you then do?

Ask for the names of the witnesses of Matt. 18:16. Ask if the matter has been told to a church. You still do not need information on the issues involved from #1, but you may -- particularly if you are in relationship with #2 -- want to confirm with the witnesses that there was a meeting and #2 did not listen.

If the witnesses do confirm, you can then become an exhorter to #2 to make matters right because you do have a relationship with them. You may need to modify your relationship with #2, not because of the underlying issues between #1 and #2, but because #2 does not heed your exhortation. You may want to try to get #1, #2, and the witnesses to all meet with leaders of the church to discuss the matter further (Matt. 18:17).

Please note that in this process you never alter relationship with #2 until #2 shows unwillingness to proceed further in the biblical process of conflict resolution. Also note that your relationship with #1 is also dependent upon their accepting your instruction and admonition. In short, if you practice this process there is no danger of your ever picking up a dog by its ears (Pro. 26:17), for you will never "meddle" -- pass the bounds of reasonableness. You will always be on God's side.

There are two other things which you can initially do. Each of these has a risk attached to it. The first, and less risky, is to become a constant exhorter of both parties to get together and resolve the matter (Matt. 18:15). You exhort them to agree upon some others to help them (Matt. 18:16), or even to get them to agree to have some others decide the dispute for them and tell them what they are to do (I Cor. 6:5). The risk is obvious: you may lose two friends. But there is no great spiritual risk to you.

The other thing, which also risks loss of friendships, also has a spiritual risk to you. You may become a counselor to #1. The risk is that you become subverted to #1's position, lose all objectivity and neutrality, help #1 continue in sin by failing to confront their wrongs, make #1's offense against #2 your own, and wrong #2 by altering your relationship with them. Then you have the dog by its ears!

Let's assume that from reading this you have been convicted of being guilty of gossip, or of being a listening-post, or of altering your relationship with another because gossip influenced you. Go to the one from whom you received the gossip, ask them to forgive you for receiving it, and share these thoughts with them. Go to anyone to whom you gossiped, ask them to forgive you, and share these thoughts with them. Go to any person who was the object of your gossip and ask them to forgive you, offering to go with them to the one with whom they have conflict (thus helping undo the wrong you have participated in).

As you take these steps, you give God the opportunity to turn your sins of the past into good for His glory -- Rom. 8:28 -- and all who become aware of your acts of repentance will be bettered for those acts.

William D. Bontrager, J.D.
1710 C.R. 121, Hesperus, CO 81326 970-259-3384
wdb@frontier.net
http://www.shepherdsforpeace.com/writings/GOSSIP.php (http://www.shepherdsforpeace.com/writings/GOSSIP.php)

WAIT TILL YOU HEAR WHAT I HEARD! (Gossip)
Sermon Page
TEXT: Jas. 3:2-10.
INTRODUCTION:
1. All of us know what usually follows the statement "Wait till you hear what I heard..."
2. Other things you might hear, "Don't tell her I told you but," "Do you know what she said about you..." I am not sure about this but..."
3. Gossip is a sin of otherwise good Christians- 2 Cor. 12:20.
4. Certain excitement and fun in gossiping- Prov. 18:8 "The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles and they go down into the inmost body."
WHY IS GOSSIP WRONG?
I. Gossip Destroys Reputations-
A. Ecc. 7:1 "A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth."
B. 1 Sam. 18:30b "David behaved more wisely than all the servants of Saul, so that his name became highly esteemed."
C. Notice the emphasis placed on a good name in the New Testament.
1. Acts 6:3 "men of good reputation".

2. Acts 10:22 Cornelius.

3. Acts 22:12 Ananias who came to Saul.
D. A good name takes years to build and a few seconds to destroy.
II. The Spirit of Gossip is Wrong Even if the Information is True.
A. Prov. 11:13 "A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter."
B. Ecc. 3:7b "A time to keep silence and a time to speak."
C. Prov. 10:19a "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking."
D. Prov. 20:19 "He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips."
E. If they talk about others to you they will talk to others about you.
F. Prov. 25:9-10 "Debate your case with your neighbor himself and do not disclose the secret to another. Lest he who hears it expose your shame and your reputation be ruined."
III. Gossip Unfairly Pre-judges.
A. Matt. 7:1.
B. Gossip only get one side of the story, not allowed in courts!
IV. Gossip Protects the Source More Than the Victim.
A. "A reliable source said. . ."
B. "I can't tell you who told me." Usually a good sign you should not listen to this person.
V. Gossip Violates the Rule of Love.
A. "We need to put the best possible interpretation on what is said or done."
B. That's the way I want others to do for me- Matt. 7:12.
C. What is the rule of love- 1 Cor. 13:1-3.
VI.. Gossip Ignores Context.
A. Anyone con be taken out of context and made to say something they did not mean.
B. Most gossip starts this way.
VII. Gossip is Self-motivated.
A. "If I can make you look worse than me, then I won't look so bad."
B. 2 Cor. 10:12. We are to compare ourselves to the Bible not each other.
VIII. Gossip Disobeys God.
A. Lev. 19:16; "You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people."
B. Ps. 15:1-3; "Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, nor does he take up a reproach against his friend.
C.. Eph. 4:31- Evil speaking.
D. Tit. 3:1-2 Speak evil of no one.
E. Jas. 4:11 Do not speak evil of a brother.
Conclusion:
A. Do not get started in this vicious habit of gossiping.
B. It starts in the heart- Matt. 15:19.
C. Prov. 26:20 "Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.
D. If you have been involved in this sin you need to repent.
http://www.wtcoc.com/Sermons/s236.html (http://www.wtcoc.com/Sermons/s236.html)

The Three Breeds of Gossip

By Richard Krejcir

Into Thy Word -

"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue, without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down." (Proverbs 17:27-28; 26:20)

The Bible is directing us to restrain our speech. A wise person controls their tongue; what they say and how they say it. The Bible goes on to say that people who spread gossip have malicious intentions as much as the people who start the gossip in the first place. This malice leads to the destruction of property and persons, just as bad as a fire would destroy a home or a church.

The important lesson we must learn is the church is not a building, but the people of God who just use the building to meet in. Too many churches think the building is the most important thing of God, and miss the point of what it is for.

Remember this important truth; when our focus is to be mean to each other and find fault with each other, all we accomplish is the shooting of ourselves. Because we all are partakers and participants of the body of Christ, so we're just shooting parts of our own body. We are taking something Holy of God, such as using prayer and relationships to spread gossip, thus we turn prayer into slander and misinformation for a very un-holy agenda, which does nothing to further the Kingdom of God.

Gossip has three breeds, or three different levels. Separating these three levels can be as hard as separating the chocolate chips out of a cookie. It is extremely hard to do without disturbing the cookie! So it is with our mislaid words.

First: Is the "chit chat" we all do. "Did you hear that the Chaedwicks are moving" or "Steve 's parents gave him a new car for Ground Hog Day." This is basic information without harmful intent, but we must be careful what we say and how we say it!

Second: Gets stickier; "Did you hear that Debby's parents are fighting again" or "Have you heard that Kevin is in a real bad mood, so just ignore him." This may not be mean or vindictive, but this tells a story of someone's character that may not be true. And we will base our judgments on false and misleading information.

Third: Is slander! Maliciously telling or repeating a tale that may or may not be true to tear someone down. "Do not go near Patty, she is weird and nobody likes her" or "The new family is only here because the father lost his job and they had to move, and his parents have lots of money." This third level of gossip destroys people's reputations and betrays secrets that are not meant for our ears. This level prevents friendships and takes potentially good relations and destroys them, doing exactly what Satan wants!

This third level is slander, and God hates it!!! Webster's Dictionary tells us slander is, "the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage reputations." This may be viewed as ordinary conversations during lunch, or at the water cooler, but make no mistake, slander seeks to distort and to destroy! It tears down the people of God, where our call is to build them up!

"The Disease of Diotrephes"

"I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church. Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God. Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone--and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true." (III John 9-12)

Diotrephes had a reign of tyranny through gossip and slander in the name of Christ. John makes a strong and decisive stand against gossip. John is representing not only his apostleship, but mainly the authoritative presence of Christ. The presence of Christ is a stern warning, and a loving encouragement for us, that we must replace the temptation of spreading gossip and replace it with the love of Christ.

We get 6 negative and destructive themes from this passage that should act like a brick wall to our slanderous remarks:

1. "Who loves to be first": Christ first loves us, He goes first. Why do people want to be first? Because we want to be a god to ourselves, and God of the universe keeps getting in the way. Yet He loves us first.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped." (Philp 2:3-6)

How can we develop this attitude in Philippians? Should Christians have a 'me first' attitude? Instead of trying to be first, we should place Christ first, and then gossip will fall aside.

2. "He would have nothing to do with us": The "us" is the people of faith in Christ. Have you ever experienced someone having nothing to do with you? Did this experience happen when you did something right and your friends, or co-workers were upset, perhaps because they felt betrayed? Maybe they wanted to go out drinking and you turned them down. Perhaps a friend wanted to do something stupid and you tried to talk them out of it, and they got mad at you. Maybe it was you who tried to pressure a friend to do something wrong and they got mad at you!

We must ask ourselves; Diotrephes rejected the truth of an Apostle; how do we reject the truth of our Lord and Savior?

3. "To what he is doing, gossiping maliciously": Have you known people who just love to gossip? People who have the nose for the news of others, but with a perverted intent. They do not want the news to help and encourage them, but to put them down. How does this make you feel; perhaps you are hurt by it, or you get excited about it. But how does your Lord feel about it, and how does He feel about your response toward gossip? What would your church be like if everyone was encouraging to everyone else, regardless of what may have gone on before. Regardless if we like them or not, because we are responding to Christ's love. Remember God loves us first. So if God first loves us and we do not deserve it, should we not do the same to each other?

4. "He refuses to welcome the brothers": Do you know people who just are not hospitable, they are disrespectful, condescending, or ignore new people. These people have bad attitudes and do not like certain people, so they decide to be mean. How does this make you feel? Have you ever experienced such treatment? Have you witnessed it happening in school, work, home, or even church? Maybe you are the one who is mean to others, maybe you do not even know you are doing it, if so, what can you do about it?

5. "He also stops those who want to do so": Can you imagine that someone in the name of Christ is stopping other Christians from following Christ's character! Do you or do you know others who stop people from doing the right thing? How do they keep others from doing what is right? Check out James 4:17! How can you be an encourager instead of a gossiper?

6. "And puts them out of the church": Diotrephes was on the warpath, he actually got rid of people who were faithful to Christ, because they got in his way. In my experience there is nothing a child of the Devil hates more than a child of God. If you are a faithful Christian you can expect people to come against you, even other Christians. But God is on the side of the faithful and true and not on the side of those who cause division and destruction. So take comfort in His grace, for He will be with you and they will get what is coming in the end. How can our church practice discipline? So are you ever a Diotrephes? Are there Diotrephes in your group or church? Check out I Corinthians 5:1-5 & Matthew 18:15-17. What can we do, how can we be encouragers and attractive to each other, including visitors?

R.J. Krejcir 1998, 2001
excerpt from the upcoming book ‘Pew Sitting’
www.intothyword.com (http://www.intothyword.com)

Confidentiality, by Mike Barres

He who covers a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates friends." (Proverbs 17:9)

Confidentiality is critical to maintain relationships of trust and
love.

How many times do we share personal and private information about
someone? Later they find out that we have done so and they are very
hurt by it? As Christians we can be hurtful without realizing it and
even be well meaning.

Sometimes we tell others about private information that has been
discussed with a lost person with whom we were sharing our faith.
Sometimes we share private information in the form of a prayer request
for a person in trouble. Sometimes we divulge private information about
a person for whom we have prayed that has won victory over a sin area
in his or her life. If we aren't careful we can even share private
details about someone else in the form of a praise report.

When a person tells us something that is private and personal, we
should consider that information a sacred trust. We should only repeat
that information with the person's permission. The person who tells us
things in private may not always preface it with, "Don't tell anyone
else this!" However, he or she may very well assume that we will know
"not" to share that information.

I really believe that many Christians go around suffering in private
pain because their trust has been violated before and they don't feel
they can trust anyone with their personal problems. They end up
suffering, struggling, and stumbling ... alone!

Consider these other verses in Proverbs:

A talebearer reveals secrets,
But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter. (Proverbs
11:13)

He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets;
Therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips. (Proverbs
20:19)

Debate your case with your neighbor,
And do not disclose the secret to another ... (Proverbs 25:9)

Many people have been hurt by well meaning Christians who have repeated private and personal information. In the future, let's remember this and keep things shared in private as a guarded trust.

---------
(c) 2006 Mike Barres <mbarres@dnet.net>.

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