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Entertainment => Poetry/Prose => Topic started by: JudgeNot on January 30, 2004, 04:34:26 PM



Title: Dear Jesus - I'm Back!
Post by: JudgeNot on January 30, 2004, 04:34:26 PM
Iím here, Jesus!
Here I am Jesus!

When I was a child I was whole
There was no questioning my role.

As I grew a little older I realized You were a choice
And I knew, I just knew I had to listen to Your voice.

Lord, You knocked and I answered, but that was a long time back.  
Dear Lord, You filled my heart; and with you nothing did I lack!  

But I stumbled, and somehow I became convinced I could stand alone.  
The stumble caused a fall so hard it closed my eyes to the light being shone.  

For years I wandered in the darkness going in circles with an outstretched arm.  
And if I felt real love at my finger tips I turned away; for myself I wanted only harm.  

Jesus, I could see only hopelessness; I wanted so many times to just give up and die.  
But something (You?) always pulled me through and gave me a bed in which I could lie.  

I was too ashamed to even ask You; for I knew You could see what I had become.  
I thought I was just too lost; for all the bad things added up to such a large sum.  

How could I ever seek Your face Lord, or ever hope to look You in the eye?  
Even the thought of facing up to what I became made me run and hide and cry.  

But You never left me Lord and You were always right there at my side.
No matter how hard or far or fast I ran, from You I just couldnít hide.

Finally, through an innocent and casual encounter one night
I began to see just a very faint glow of light.

I finally let go and the glow became a blaze
That burned through the thickness of the haze.

Iím back Lord!  Iím back!
Dear Jesus!  Iím back!

Thank you
Jesus!


Written by Jesus and JudgeNot


Title: Re:Dear Jesus - I'm Back!
Post by: ravenloche on January 30, 2004, 06:25:21 PM
good post!

I think you hit home to a lot of people!


Title: Re:Dear Jesus - I'm Back!
Post by: nChrist on January 31, 2004, 02:38:17 AM
Oklahoma Howdy to JudgeNot,

AMEN Brother!

Jesus and you did a great job. Thanks, I really appreciate you sharing that with us.

Love In Christ,
Tom


Title: Re:Dear Jesus - I'm Back!
Post by: Neo on January 31, 2004, 07:05:33 PM
1. Many of the rhymes in this poem are forced.
2. Several lines are unnecessarily long and detract from the flow of the poem.
3. There's no real meter here.

Good message, mediocre writing.


Title: Re:Dear Jesus - I'm Back!
Post by: JudgeNot on February 01, 2004, 01:14:41 AM
Dearest Neo,
Rest easy:  I guarantee I have no intentions of quitting my day job to pursue a poetic career.  Your thoughtful and kind critique of my personal testimony, which I failed to successfully put to verse according to your standards, are duly noted.  
 ;D


Title: Re:Dear Jesus - I'm Back!
Post by: sincereheart on February 01, 2004, 01:11:09 PM
Good message, mediocre writing.

I'd have to disagree.....

Excellent message!

As to the level of writing skills - I imagine that would be given to a teacher to grade... not brothers and sisters in Christ. Of course, the grade would depend on the variables required. If it was being graded for iambic pentameter or simply writing to convey a feeling. Did he meet the requirements? mmmmm.....

But if he was trying say, for haiku, then there would be specifics he'd need to follow. So I don't suppose any of us can say whether or not the writing was 'mediocre'.... But you did make a valiant attempt at trying to sound knowledgeable!  ;)

Anyway, thanks for sharing JudgeNot. I found it to be quite a blessing!  :D


Title: Re:Dear Jesus - I'm Back!
Post by: TigerLily on February 13, 2004, 10:05:14 PM
Jn that was excellent.. wow so u do write!!  thanks for sharing that!

Neo: thinking your comment was not really neccisary "sigh"
sometimes a negative thought doesnt have to be said..Just a thought!!

TL


Title: Re:Dear Jesus - I'm Back!
Post by: archangel on June 27, 2004, 04:49:05 PM
Good message, mediocre writing.

I'd have to disagree.....

Excellent message!

As to the level of writing skills - I imagine that would be given to a teacher to grade... not brothers and sisters in Christ. Of course, the grade would depend on the variables required. If it was being graded for iambic pentameter or simply writing to convey a feeling. Did he meet the requirements? mmmmm.....

But if he was trying say, for haiku, then there would be specifics he'd need to follow. So I don't suppose any of us can say whether or not the writing was 'mediocre'.... But you did make a valiant attempt at trying to sound knowledgeable!  ;)

Anyway, thanks for sharing JudgeNot. I found it to be quite a blessing!  :D
What she said even though I don't understand half of those big words.......And yes a definite blessing!


Title: Re:Dear Jesus - I'm Back!
Post by: JudgeNot on June 27, 2004, 05:10:06 PM
Threadbear,
Thank you so much!  You had to go many pages back in the C-Unite archives to find this old thing!  Whenever I think of my life's evolution I get all misty eyed.  The last few weeks have been tough.  Perhaps your delving into the past and making me re-read an old post is part of Godís overall purpose?  I think so, and no one can convince me otherwise.
You donít know it Ė and you couldnít have known it when you went back and found an old post and replied to it Ė but youíve been a blessing for me today.
Thank you Threadbear Ė God bless you.
Jim.