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Fellowship => Just For Women => Topic started by: Butterflies on January 16, 2006, 09:40:37 PM



Title: To have children or not?
Post by: Butterflies on January 16, 2006, 09:40:37 PM
Ladies, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts about whether or not to have children.  I read someone's post about their choosing intentionally not to have children.

Dh and I have been married a long time, and we've been content childless.  Lately, we've wondered about adoption.  It's actually fairly inexpensive and easy if we stay overseas.  We actually have friends who only "paid" $200 for their adorable little one.  They went through all the paperwork and courtdates here in Asia.  Is ministry hampered or enhanced with children?  My only desire is to reach people for Jesus. (and having a child to love would be a bonus)

Wondering... ???         ::)                :D


Title: Re: To have children or not?
Post by: Butterflies on January 25, 2006, 10:23:44 PM
I'm surprised no one has responded to this.  I'm not trying to start a debate; I'm just curious about your thoughts about having children.  Are you glad you had children? 


Title: Re: To have children or not?
Post by: Shammu on January 25, 2006, 10:40:19 PM
Butterflies, I have an avatar for you........ ;D

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v605/DreamWeaver000/Avatars/Butterfly.gif)

Copy this link into your Avatar profile.


Title: Re: To have children or not?
Post by: sincereheart on January 26, 2006, 06:36:48 AM
Are you glad you had children? 

Yes!


Title: Re: To have children or not?
Post by: ChristianCowgirl77 on January 26, 2006, 02:55:41 PM
Personally, hubby and I want children, we're just not sure how many. We want at least two and at the most seven, but we'll accept whatever the Lord allows. We've also thought about adoption, to be honest, that's where my heart is.
God blesses us each day,
Amyra


Title: Re: To have children or not?
Post by: TalkerCat on January 26, 2006, 10:22:05 PM
Butterflies,

I would have responded earlier but I've been quite ill.  I personally decided to not have children.  I actually made this decision as a very young girl, long before I married.  I can't say exactly WHY, I just felt that children were "not my style".... now I'm in my mid-40's and really regret my decision.  It may sound funny, but the first time I realized my "mistake" was when Princess Diana died.  I was watching the funeral and saw a sign on her coffin that read "Mummy" . . . my heart broke at that instant and I wondered "who will mourn for me?"  When I think about aging and who will be around for me, I know I made a mistake not having a child.  I know I will probably die alone and that makes me very sad.  If you want children, don't wait.  Do what you have to do - adopt - whatever. 

I have a grandson that I adore, but he's not "mine" - he's my husband's and I didn't meet him until he was 11 years old.  I don't have that maternal bonding with him.  I love and admire my brother's kids but they're not "mine".  If I could go back in time and counsel the young girl that made that rash decision, I would tell her to never say never.  I would tell her that children are a blessing from God  (not a burden like I always thought).  I would tell her to wait until she was mature enough to raise loving christians; and to have at least one child.  A person that bonds with your soul.  Someone to love like no other. . . .

I'll be praying for you Butterflies for whatever decision you make.  If you do decide to adopt, what a lucky, lucky baby that will be.

Blessings-


Title: Re: To have children or not?
Post by: Butterflies on January 27, 2006, 07:44:11 PM
Thank you for responding, everyone.   Talkercat, I appreciate your encouragement.  We'll have to see if we will be here next year and if so, I think we'll seriously consider this option.  (We  may have to find a new "visa" holder for our jobs here or we'll have to move back to US.)   

ChristianCowgirl, that's great that you and your dh are in sinc about what children.  Sometimes couples have varying views.

Talkercat, you are just a bit older than I am; it's not too late for you to be foster parents leading to adoption or to adopt. 

Praying...


Title: Re: To have children or not?
Post by: TalkerCat on January 27, 2006, 08:26:00 PM
Thank you Dear Butterflies,

I know that my age alone is not a factor in adoption and/or foster care but I do feel that my physical limitations would be a major draw back. 

Blessings-