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On the table side by side;
The Holy Bible and the TV Guide.
One is well worn but cherished with pride,
(Not the Bible, but the TV Guide).
One is used daily to help folk decide,
No! It isn't the Bible, it's the TV Guide.
As pages are turned, what shall we see?
Oh, what does it matter, turn on the TV.
Then confusion reigns, they can't all agree
On what they shall watch on the old TV.
So they open the book in which they confide
(No, not the Bible, it's the TV Guide).
The Word of God is seldom read,
Maybe a verse e'er they fall into bed.
Exhausted and sleepy and tired as can be,
Not from reading the Bible; from watching TV.
So, then back to the table, side by side,
Is the Holy Bible and the TV Guide.
No time for prayer, no time for the Word;
The plan of salvation is seldom heard.
Forgiveness of sin so full and free
Is found in the Bible, not on TV!
In the house
Of Mr. & Mrs. Spouse
He and she
Would watch TV,
And never a word
Between them was spoken
Until the day
The set was broken,
Then, "How do you do?"
Said He to She.
I don't believe we've met.
Spouse is my name.
What's yours?" he asked.
"Why, mine's the same!"
Said She to He.
"Do you suppose we could be...?"
But the set came suddenly right about
And they never did find out.

From a letter to Ann Landers.