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Pro-Family Psychologist Sees Growing Trend Toward 'Pushover Parenting'

by Mary Rettig
August 12, 2005

(AgapePress) - The vice president and psychologist in residence of Focus on the Family says the new study that finds many teens get alcohol from their parents is an indication of an even bigger problem. The study found that 24 percent of teens say their parents have given them alcohol, and 21 percent have been to a party where alcohol was supplied by the parents.

Focus on the Family's Dr. Bill Maier says the results of the study are disturbing but perhaps to be expected in light of another problem of increasing prevalence -- the problem of what he calls pushover parents. "Unfortunately, there are a significant number of parents in this country who are unable or unwilling to provide their children with the moral guidance they so desperately need," he says.

"These parents are so concerned about being liked by their kids that they fail to place any limits on their children's behavior -- even behavior that is dangerous or destructive," Maier continues. He points to recent examples: a single mom in Florida, who stands accused of having sex with her son's 15-year-old friend while he was spending the night at their house; and a Colorado case in which a woman allegedly threw parties for her teenage son and his friends, giving them alcohol and sexual favors.

Similar cases have occurred nationwide, and the Focus on the Family vice president sees it as a sign of a crisis in parenting. He notes, "When asked why they did that, a couple of these moms said something to the effect of 'I wanted to be cool; I wanted the kids to like me. I wanted them to think I was a cool mom.' So it's shocking; but again, I'm not really surprised, given this phenomenon in our culture."

The implications of pushover parenting are far-reaching, Maier asserts, with the children of such parents often exhibiting immaturity, a sense of entitlement, irresponsibility, and poor relationship skills. The pro-family psychologist says these parents want too much to befriend their kids instead of nurturing them by setting limits and providing the discipline their children really need.
Mary Rettig, a regular contributor to AgapePress, is a reporter for American Family Radio News, which can be heard online.

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I don't think the problem is that Parents want to look cool...its mroe that they are scared of their kids, so they want to befriend them instead of (according to the kid) being their worst enemy. I know, at least a lot of the parents around where I live (washington DC) their kids are into all kinds of nasty stuff, drugs and gangs that they are too scared to try and put a stop to it...cause these kids have no qualms about killing their own parents! at least every other kid on the streets is packin a gun or at least a knife.
ITs sad but true...and me being only 15, i know the both sides of the story.

Wow. I'm only 20, yet I'm surprised at how children behave in todays society. Children need time; this shows children that they are loved. Parents are too busy sometimes for their children and they are neglected. The best parent I see are those who work but still have enough time to spend with their children. They don't shy away from their responsibilites. They put them to bed, read to them and so on. I don't see this happening too much any more and it's such a shame. A parent should not feel threatened by their children.