ChristiansUnite Forums

 I was hesitant as to whether I should post this thread. After discussing it with God I decided it was an important issue, and may help someone out.

 I have a couple of Christian friends. They were married and have one child, but sadly they are divorced.

 Both of them think it's ok to view porn. ???
They don't believe it harms anyone. I asked them if they think God's ok with it, but they had no answer - they both sat looking dumb. They both continue to view it, I'm sure.

 I thought I'd give my friends here my take on the subject.
I won't go into any ugly detail, but I believe my point will come across. Here it goes.

 I am turning 43 tomorrow. I am married, and we have three teenaged sons and a foster daughter.

 Even when I was a young man I never liked porn, it felt wrong. I was wild when I was younger; I did drugs and drank. I was the lead singer of a semi-successful rock band here in Canada, so I also had more than my share of women around me. I had attended parties where someone would put a porn video on, and I would leave the room. The part about that which made me proud was, being a singer I always had "followers" around me, and when I left a room where porn was being viewed, they would ask me what was up, and I would tell them what I thought about porn. In the end, many of these people admitted that porn made them uncomfortable, but they didn't want to seem "wimpy" so they pretended they were into it. So after that came out, it gave these folks the courage to also leave the room, or to turn it off.

 I always respected women. My fellow band members were sex fiends and treated women poorly. They acted as if it was some kind of contest to see who could bed the most women. I was a "freak" because I refused to sleep with a woman unless I was in a relationship with her. Now that I am born again, I regret even doing that. I believe that we should wait until we are married to have sex.

 I went through a period when I was addicted to drugs where I would fantasize about women. I would act my fantasies out with my present girlfriend, and now that I look back on it, I am severely disappointed and ashamed of that time of my life. I never forced or hurt anyone, but it was pure lust, and that is a dark, unloving action.

 I overcame my drugs and drinking after I had an experience with God. God actually spoke to me one night. He called me by my name and spoke to me.

 After that, I came into contact with a couple of strong Christian people who got me on my path to Jesus. In the following years I was healed of my addictions, and my life took a drastic turn for the better. I quit the band just as we were in negotiations to sign with WEA. My friends in the group didn't speak to me for years after that. I have a good relationship with the guitar player now.

 From time to time I find myself having an impure thought pop into my mind. I'll see a pretty woman, and before I know what's going on I'll have this thought. I found a fantastic way of stopping it. Whenever it would happen I would tell satan to "go away" I would call him a liar, and demand that he stop in the name of Jesus. I would do this in my head, so as not to freak out any bystanders!  :-\

 It really works. The thoughts are very infrequent now. If we would all be honest, we would admit that this happens to all of us, both men and women, it's one of satan's most vile weapons. The good news is that we have a loving God who will never leave us alone to fight these kinds of attacks.

 Porn is one of satan’s most destructive weapons. It demeans women and men. It leads to all manner of devious behaviour.

 I watched a news special the other night that brought me to tears. There are men in America who travel to third world countries in order to have sex with children. A group of rescuers went under cover with hidden cameras in order to rescue these poor innocent babies from the scum that sell them and the scum that buy them. These babies are as young as 6 and 7 years old! I was almost sobbing when I actually saw these wee babies lined up for inspection by their adult attackers. They were shoped out by their relatives in some case. Even some of their own parents would sell them! These innosent little lambs were actually laughing and playing with each other, because at the point of the filming, they were being presented as virgins, and had not been raped yet!! My God, I'm crying again just thinking about it. Please! Please pray for these little angels, and may God curse those who would do such evil to these poor babies! Thank God for the fires of Hell, so that those scum will get what's coming to them! The filth that would do such evil to these sweet little babies are headed for an eternity of fire.

 Back in America, the news team caught up with one of the scum that had sex with some these children. He was a doctor!

 He said he was drugged at the time, or drunk, and he was not responsible for whatever may have happened. They actually got this goof on tape bragging about the "sweet young thing" he had purchased for $300, and how he could keep them for three nights for that price!!
 I dare not express publically what I would do to such scum if I ever had the chance. >:(

 Pedophiles and sexual offenders all have at least one thing in common - they all started out looking at some from of porn. It was "innocent, harmless fun"! After a while the porn wasn’t enough for them, they wanted to act out what they were seeing (sound familiar ladies?) All molestation and rape begins with a thought. The perpetrators have the thought in their minds – then they plan their attack – then they execute the attack. Looking at porn places thoughts in our minds. The act cannot take place unless the thought is there first. Think about that my friends. Isn’t it better to fill your mind with good thoughts? The world would be a much safer place for all of us.

 There is no excuse for anybody who claims to be Christian to legitimize any form of porn. It's just as vile for non-believers, but especially so for those of us who claim to love Jesus.

 Ladies, if your husband is Christian, and he thinks God is ok with his porn, please tell them to get rid of it! Give him an ultimatum - he keeps his porn, or his wife, period! God will not welcome a lustful heart into His home. So your husbands are actually trading their eternal souls for a few years of viewing porn. satan loves this.

We can't take the law into our own hands but sometimes I think the world might be a better place if we did, in a case like this.  It's greed.........money.  How can a human being place money over his fellow human beings?  Well, maybe they aren't human at all......................maybe they just look human.  Scum isn't even a bad enough word for these creeps.  Neither is the word, creep.  I'm against abortion but sometimes when I hear things like this, I know those babies will never suffer these insults from humans (or devils just might be a better word).  Disgust, loathe and intense anger I feel right now.  

Amen my sister. I am completely sickened, hurt, and seething mad at the same time.

 My friends.

Judging by the lack of response on this thread, I'm wondering if it's a bit too heavy for this forum.

Please advise. Should I remove it?
Please be honest, I don't want to post anything that shouldn't be here.

John

Maybe it's the wording of the topic, but I can't think of what you could replace it with......................maybe the word, TRASH.  I don't know.  You prayed about this first Bronze, and God gave you the "go ahead" didn't He?  

I have no problem with the post being here whatsoever. But i am at a loss for words to even know how to describe these sickening people, if thats the correct name for them.

I'm with you here Joey............people?...............that's way way too good of a description for them, just like you said.  They're DEVILS, DEMONS.  THEY'RE THE HORROR OF HORRORS.  I have no word in my vocabulary for them.  They aren't they's, and they aren't them's, either.  Eugh! Pugh! Pew!

A wonderful testimony, Brother.


As for the news special you watched I think Cris said it right with the word "pew". They need a daily dose of sitting in a pew with the word of God being given them 24 hrs straight non-stop. Then if they don't repent and change their ways it should be straight to hell.

Sometimes I wonder if people such as this are not demon possessed. It really must be the case because I cannot imagine a human being to otherwise be able to commit such atrocities.

 yes criss, I spoke to the boss before I posted it, but sometimes we misunderstand His answers, so I wanted to check with my friends.

Thank you all for being honest. This is a dark topic.

John

Bronzesnake

I'm sorry. I forgot to say in my earlier post. That is such a powerful testimony you have there brother and just shows the power our God has to turn any life around. Thank you for being bold and sharing your testimony with us all. I cannot imagine it was easy for you to share this. Thank You.

 Thank you very much my brother. Yes, it wasn't easy, but if my testimony can reach anyone who may relate, then God has blessed us both.

 Thanks again Joey my brother.

John

I think it is a subject that christians tend to stay away from. I must commend your courage in the matter.
I don't know what else to say, being in an African coutry myself, I can mention that lots of these girls get abducted, or as Bronzesnake mentioned, get sold by family and sometimes even neighbours. If their parents have died from AIDS the community will see this as an easy way out for them.
There is not even close to enough places of safety for Aids orphans.
 :'(

This is a very good post and I commend you for posting it!

This has always been a point of contention with myself and the American Church. How can you constantly commend the homosexual for being immoral and anti-God when some stats tell us that 1/3 of Christians watch porn. It's a stepping stone to so many dark areas of life because it takes something sacred and cheapens it.

This is a very valid thread for a world where Satan runs free.  Pornography is one of Satan's greatest tools.  He uses it to induce lust in the unassuming and unsuspecting, then Satan uses that lust before God, claiming "See there, that person is committing adultery in his heart.  You cannot forgive that!  It is against Your commandments!"�  

Lust is yet another stumbling block we must watch out for.  We ask God not to lead us into temptation and He hears us and He doesn't lead us there, but He doesn't stop us from going there without Him.  

How serious a problem is porn?  Here are the statistics as supplied by FamilySafeMedia.com:
   
Size of the Industry $57.0 billion world-wide - $12.0 billion US
Adult Videos $20.0 billion
Escort Services $11.0 billion
Magazines $7.5 billion
Sex Clubs $5.0 billion
Phone Sex $4.5 billion
Cable & Pay per View $2.5 billion
Internet $2.5 billion
CD-Rom $1.5 billion
Novelties $1.0 billion
Other $1.5 billion
Porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises.
US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC ($6.2 billion)
Child pornography generates $3 billion annually    

Satan's money talks to a lot of people.
Pray, folks, pray.
JudgeNot

Praying

Something left out of the stats:

Generally businesses return 10% to 30% of their gross back to "business development".  That means, conservatively, that the porn industry is spending $6,000,000,000 annually on 'marketing'.  To the porn people, putting unwanted porn in the faces of any and everyone is their most successful marketing technic.

Barfing! :-X

As a teenager I attended church regularly. When I was about 18 I was hurt by someone in the church very badly (a lady accused me of being a drug dealer even though I had never even touched drugs up until that time)

I decided if they said that about me I might as well do it. My life spiralled from there. I sold drugs during the 90's, ran strippers from one club to another, had a large agency that offered ladies to the clubs and have seen so much degradation of humanity that one day God spoke to me and said "you know the way, why don't you follow Me."

The whole porn industry is about two things money and greed. OK I will add in sex as well. The people that are running these video taping companies or porn sites care about the bottom line, not the lives that they destroy.

If you are a Christian and are watching this trash you are part of the problem and supporting an industry that is degrading men, women and in some cases children.

I came out of this industry, moved away from friends (or who I thought were friends) and started life over. I , personally was on a road that was going to lead to destruction. God does save and I will shout that from the rooftops

Hi rencal,

Welcome to Christians Unite.


Amen and praise be to God.

 

Please don't make a mess in the thread, BRNZ. ;) ;D

That is a very good testimony.Some Christians are ashamed to tell their testimonies, because they think people will look at them differently.Every Christian has a testimony.Thank you for sharing.
God Bless :)

I realise that this is a subject that many people feel strongly about, but I think we should not pass judgement on others, lest we be judged ourselves. We're all sinners. There's only one person who can judge, and that's God. If we pass judgement, we're acting as though we're God, and that's blasphemy.

People who view porn do not need our condemnation. They need our prayers, so that they will learn to repent, like (hopefully) the rest of us.

There is a difference between condemning the sin and condemning the sinner. No matter what the sin may be we are to speak against it and attempt to draw others away from it. This is not condemning the sinner. As you said, that is for someone much greater than any of us to do.

Well here's my two cents worth.  As with anything, the more you do it, the more you do it............unless...........there's a great desire to stop.  Sometimes that's called hitting rock bottom.  People must WANT to stop, first and foremost.  Now comes the difficult part..............they find that they can't. They realize they're addicted to something.  Oh, how discouraging, but alas, there's a lesson learned here.  They finally realize they can't do it themselves.  Hopefully, they'll turn to God for that help.  When they study the bible, that very Word of God begins to reprogram their mind by creating new pathways. Those old addictive pathways they created begin to crumble or fill in as if they were never there.  

Yes, we do need to pray for these people.  We need to pray that God will prick their hearts until they finally let go and let God.

And no, we're not to condemn nor judge them, but we are to show them God provided an answer in His son Jesus Christ.

I'm not making light of these very serious problems (sins).  It isn't easy.  Jesus Christ told us this.  He promised us a cross, but He also promised us eternal life where we won't have struggles.  Our life is but a vapor....................difficult to imagine when we count seconds, minutes, days, months, years.  Our life here on earth is like one raindrop in the ocean, compared to eternity.

Grace ans peace,
cris

 

Hey Bronzey!

I too have a "dark past" from which The Light has set me free!  I agree with your assessment that porn is not "innocent" fun - it puts images in one's mind, images that evenutally fester into reality. Once that door of sin is opened just a crack, it doesn't take much for the same door to come crashing down!  Sin is powerful and we as a society are slowly being desensitized.  "Alternative lifestyles" are being taught in our schools, but our kids can't pray anymore.  Civil Rights and Equality have removed God from our government, taken Christ out of Christmas and makes it ok for men to dress as women, for women to have abortion, and is making it possible for same sex marriage.  The second amendment to the Constitution (which written by our CHRISTIAN Forefathers) makes porno OK

Now please don't get me wrong about my views on Equality and Civil Rights - I DO agree that all of us are equally precious in the eyes of God and that we all have a right to fairness and humanity... fair pay for fair work, etc. etc.   I just think that the simple issues have been taken way over the line!  I just don't believe that being equal means that cross dressing, homosexuality, or abortion is alright in the eyes of our Lord. And I also believe that sexual deviance includes porn and is an abomination.

Just my humble opinion.

Blessings-

lol ... I don't think the "the right of the people to keep and bear Arms" is what is being spolen of here, but that is cute.
(Did you mean the First Amendment?)



I agree totally with you all these things are being made legal while at the same time anything to do with God is rapidly becoming illegal. Much of this is being taught to our children in public schools making it come onto our society even quicker.

OOOPS!  To my utter chagrin, I did mean the first amendment! My bad!

Blessings -

Thats ok sister we all make mistakes. At least it was one that was good for a harmless smile.  ;) ;)

Quote from Pastor RogerVery good point, thanks for that. I think many people get confused on that one - indeed, it's easy to forget it if it's not pointed out.

Quote from TalkerCatI take your point but it seems to me that you're trying to absolve people's responsibility for sin by blaming it on the law of the land. And I think that doesn't work. It's been tried.

You can't stop people sinning, no matter what kind of political or legal system or constitution you've got - be it market economics, republicanism, democracy, socialism, communism, anarchy, or even Islamic Shariah Law. Of course, state institutions can impose fines, custodial sentences, community sentences, welfare sanctions or even death sentences for the crimes that the people commit - but that's not the same thing as stopping people from sinning.

Just because something isn't against the law in the local land doesn't mean that it's not a sin. It's impossible for a government to legislate against every possible sin - but sometimes they legislate against things that arguably aren't sins. And not without precedent - after all, didn't Paul receive beatings and prison time for speaking the Good News? My point is - you base your decision on what is and isn't a sin on what it says in the Bible - and not primarily what it says in your local laws and constitution.

After all, it's not up to the government to save us from our sin. Jesus has saved us from our sins by dying on the cross, so why should we need the government to do it as well? We don't. As long as you repent of your sins and ask for forgiveness, you will receive eternal life - again, regardless of whether your earthly life was lived under market economics, republicanism, democracy, socialism, communism, anarchy or even Islamic Shariah Law.

What I am saying is that SIN is changing the LAW OF THE LAND - not the other way around.

Blessings -

I would say that it is both, that sin changed the law to begin with but then that the law then intices more sin.

That's it dear Pastor!  I couldn't have said it better . . .

Blessings -

I, as a missionary/Evangelist have precahed in many chuches in Europe and some of the people who come and ask for prayer are ministers who have got into porn.    It is too easy.  My computer is so set that It is impossible for me to view porn even if I wanted to.  I have a programme that I cannot remove without the publishers permission!

I guess if you've got a gun, you can watch porn and no one will dare tell you not to?  ???

Actor Stephen Baldwin
on crusade against porn
Christian activist photographing shop's patrons,
threatening to publish names in newspaper ads
Posted: January 15, 2006
1:00 a.m. Eastern

© 2006 WorldNetDaily.com

Actor Stephen Baldwin might be more at home on a movie set, but these days – and nights – the veteran of more than 60 films can be found on Route 59 in Nyack, New York, trying to shut down a business that shows movies – pornographic movies.

Baldwin, the youngest of the acting clan that includes older brothers Alec, Billy and Daniel, has planted himself on the sidewalk outside a new adult entertainment business located about one mile from his home and is photographing workers and their vehicles as they prepare the store for opening.

The actor says he plans to stand outside the store every day and photograph license plates of its patrons until the business closes. He will, he threatens, identify the store's customers and pay for a one-page newspaper ad each month to publish their names.

"I won't stop until it shuts down," Baldwin told the Westchester Journal News. "I don't want it this close to my house. I'm personally not OK with pornography. I definitely think that it adds to the moral decay or our culture."

Baldwin and several of his Nyack neighbors unsuccessfully protested the business's application to open last summer before the city planning board, but were told by officials their only legal authority was regulation, not prohibition.

The store, owned by the Queens-based company, Algama, will feature movies, books, magazines and video booths – and, says Baldwin, attract crime, lower property values and reduce the quality of life of the community where he's lived for 10 years.

Baldwin, who became a Christian in the wake of 9-11 and through the witness of his wife, Kennya, has become outspoken about his new faith, co-producing a Christian DVD called, "Livin' It," aimed at the extreme-sports culture of skateboarding and BMX stunt biking.

"In my position, I just don't think I'm supposed to keep my faith to myself," Baldwin told a group of Texas Southern Baptists in 2004. "I'm just doing what the Lord's telling me to do. You know, if the Lord's not telling anybody else [in Hollywood] to [talk publicly about their faith], well, then God bless 'em. But I don't think that's the case. I think there are a lot of people who don't put their faith before everything else, you know. And that's a big problem. I'm just doing what the Lord's calling me to do. Period."

For the present, it appears, the Lord is calling Baldwin to trade in his skateboard for a camera and keep vigil at the new pornography outlet in his neighborhood.

Police report Baldwin called them Friday night at 9:30 p.m., saying the shop's employees were harassing him for taking photographs. They advised everyone the actor was free to protest as long as he stayed off private property.

"He's just out there expressing his opinion," Sgt. Gerard O'Connor said. "He's more than free to do that."

AMEN

If more of the Christian actors, and actresses would talk about their faith openly. Hollywood may finally see, what is happening in the world. I know I voice my faith, in the Lord openly. I believe most of us at CU do make their voices heard.

Resting in the hands, of the Lord.
Bob

Romans 15:6 That together you may [unanimously] with united hearts and one voice, praise and glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah).

There is an old fashioned term that I use. Where your faith on your sleeve. I take that literally. I have a Christian flag on my sleeve and just below it a patch that says "I love Jesus". It is a great conversation starter that leads into witnessing.

Brother,

I know when I go out, to eat, or just to have coffee. I carry my Bible with me. I pray out loud, and read my Bible while eating. I have used that to witness to people a few times. Yesterday, I was witnessing to a gal. Yes, she knew that Jesus died for her but, she had backslidden. The Church she use to go to, was using her. I won't say in what, cause I saw that another person was on with my IP. I prayed with her, and even though I didn't go to Church today. I got a phone call that she did.

I also gave her the forum address here. I am praying that she, is the one, from my IP using it.
Bob

Matthew 3:3 This is he who was mentioned by the prophet Isaiah when he said, The voice of one crying in the wilderness (shouting in the desert), Prepare the road for the Lord, make His highways straight (level, direct).

Praise God, brother. I will be praying for her. It is unfortunate that some churches have fallen by the wayside in that fashion. It is also unfortunate that there will be much more of that. We as Christians should not allow that to stop us from being close to our Lord.

I rarely attend church in person anymore. It is very difficult for me to deal with physically but I do not allow that to stop me from communing with our Lord and Saviour.

I know I have my bad days, when I can't go to Church. I miss the fellowship so much. Yes I enjoy the fellowship here. But theres a difference, when you fellowship in person. Though I have learned from everyone here. And I know my brothers, and sisters here learn something each day.

hello bronze ..
First off i want to say hello.. its good to "see" you again.. just having come back recently i havent had a chance to say hello to u again after all this time,, :D
2ndly. what a testimony.. God is soo good to us all and truly appreciate you giving your testimony as a witness of what God can do in a persons life. I have to say that looking thru the forum this title caught my eye and i wasnt sure what to expect but im glad i opened it up. I to have a testimony, as does every child of God wether he took them outta the things of the world or mercifully kept them from the things this old work has to offer.. that to me is a blessed testimony..i guess id have to say that with me.. my testimony goes a little along the lines of being a sexual abuse survivor and gods amazing grace that has brought me thru and has allowed me to life a much more normal life in this aspect then alot of other "survivors" that i know personally that are not saved and leaning on the everlasting arms of my saviour.. He truly will see us thru any thing the world throws at us..
I was at the young age of 4 yrs old the first time i was molested or plainly raped and had a man that was roughly 25 or so lock me in a room and perform oral.. i wont do details.. but it only started there.. it was a cousin of mine.. and soon after another 4 or so brothers all much older then me decided i was fair play and they were so good at hiding this and scaring me into keeping it quiet and hid, that no one knew till i was much older.. this went on from age 4 to roughly 17 yrs of age.. and i can attest to  the fact that porn was absolutley behind it..and also some of these people had been victims themselves and hadnt been able to get past and thru and became the very thing they hated most in thier lives.., a big part of the issue today with me is most of these men live in close  to me, in my home town and the town and city close to me.. some have come and tried to apologise but at same time try to excuse themselves saying they were young and didnt know better..when i was 4-17 they were 20"s to late 30s and early 40s..as a young person.. having had this most of my life i became somewhat loose in my relationships thining that even tho my parents taught me right from wrong (they had no idea.. they were devestated when told, but these people were family and the last people any one would suspect, and thinsg would happen when family was together to play and visit.) so even tho i was taught and brought up in a God fearin church and family.. it seems to be what was a normal thing to happen.. and for a long time i was made to feel that unless i performed and allowed things to happen.. then i coldnt keep someone in my life..
Now thank God i have been maried to a christian man for nigh to 15 yrs now and have 2 wonderful boys, God has blessed me.. i cant deny that i have my times of night mares and day terrors and night terrors and flash backs and all things that come from years of abuse but God sees me thru..
so Bronze and you others that are sickened with porn and what they do to them precious , precious innocent babies and even older people and spouses that use porn to get ideas on how to degrade and abuse and so forth , i commend your speaking up  and out about it.. and i fully agree and even tho it is tearing me right now to speak up about my life..its to say,, God is Good.. ALLL the time.. and He wil never leave us nor forsake us no matter the circumstances in our lives.. and we all have things we can thinak Him for and all have a testimony that deserves being brought out..
Again Bronze thanks for bring this topic to the forum..I pray it will be for the glory of Gods amazing grace.. God bless you BrSn and you others that have replied.
Hugs...
(just keep me in prayer.. but especially the innocent babies and yes,, the souls of the creeps and the pimps and the sellers and buyers, as sick and twisted and as much as we'd like to do them in with our own hands or to see them suffer... God came to save the lost. and bro's and sis's they are men (and women) most miserable.. and need God desperately.. i know praying for them is so hard, and seeing the victims is so heart wrenching.. But we were all sinners but for the grace of Amighty God.. there i go...

Luv and hugs to ya'll
Tigerlily :)

Thank you for your testimony, Tigerlily!  :'(

Tigerlilly.
I'm so sorry I took so long to respond to you.
You have obviously been deeply hurt by this experience, and by people who as a child, you trusted.

Is there anything more pitiful and sad then when an innoscent little child gets harmed in this manner? It breaks my heart and reaches into my very soul Tigerlilly. I am so hurt for you and every child that has such evil done to them.
Jesus was right there suffering along with you my dear sister, and those who would do such evil will be made to have an accounting for every vile deed they have perpetrated upon people such as yourself.

Now, there must be forgiveness, so that you can continue without any more harm done to yourself my sister. You know you must forgive, that doesn't mean you must forget though. If it is possible the people who do these things must be pointed out and brought to justice. It may be there only hope for real salvation. If they are not brought out, they will continue to harm others and they will never repent and seek the forgiveness of Jesus.

I am more concerned with you at the moment. It took a lot of deep down pain for you to bring this out in the open like this. Tigerlilly, you really have to find forgiveness, complete forgiveness for this person before you can be truely healed yourself.

I will pray for your healing my dear sister. I am heartsick for you.

God bless you and give you the strength to forgive and be healed. May God shine His light of Holy Justice down into the deepest darkest hiding places where such people who would do this evil hide, and reveal their sin to the world. May God see to it that these people are brought to justice here on earth, before they meet Him, and His Holy Judgement. Amen

John

Christian Survivors Ministries:
http://www.christiansurvivors.com/

I have heard this before, from other women's testimonies. I think THEY KNEW BETTER. I hope they at least know better now...  :'(

 thank you Bronzesnake , willow... and thanks SH for that site. (gonna check it out as soon as i get a chance..)
Bronze.. thank you for your reply.. no it wasnt easy to say what i said but sometim*es putting it into words helps a little in the healing, its like it makes it real, not something that just haunts you in the night (and or day) and yes willow,, they do know better, any one that does this sort of thing knows better.. funny, the one that is the victim knows its wrong, instantly you get the "this isnt right sickening horrifying feeling in your stomache and heart ect, no matter what the age, so if the victim gets that feeling, theres no way that the abuser doesnt somewhere within himself/herself get the "i know this aunt right " feeling..even outside of it being wrong commonsense wise..
about forgiveness, its extremely hard to forgive.. i have been working on it for years, i feel i have forgiven most of the men..theres just one that i am having a real honest to God hard time to forigive. i found out that this same one was supoose to have abused his own girls.. it was never verified.. but well if he would me at the age of 4, then i have no doubt he would them either...
Thank you john... :'( i do need prayer, i know that, you know, im nearly 33 and still have night frights, wake up screaming.. youd think id get past that but, well..i dunno..i am NOT looking for pity dont get me wrong... just statin facts..i try not to think of it as much as possible, but when i do have issues with it, i have to look at it this way.. everything happens for a reason.. right? the only good reason i can think of for this to have happened is that sometime in life i will be able to help someone else thru this.. i can honestly say when it cmoes to this topic,, that i understand what other abuse survivors are dealing with.. so i pray that thats what i cna do, help others somehow.. but i cant honestly help anyone else till i can. as you say John,, forgive this last man and forgive myself..
again.. thanks for your concern.. and help and prayers..
hugs..
Tigerlily

:'(

 My sister, I will continue to pray for you, I am so sad for you.
I hear people say "everything happens for a reason" but I don't honestly believe that. It alsmost seems like we sometimes think God has allowed certain evil things happen to us for His purposes, and that is true at times, but it's never true when this kind of life destroting trama happens, especially when children are involved.

 Jesus gave one of His most intense warning to anyone who would harm children. He said it would be better for these people to have a huge stone tied around their necks and be tossed into the sae, then what He has in store for them.

 The only hope we really have to get through such tramatic times is to completely surrender to His will. Jesus will heal you my dear sister, He wants to jeal you - you are very dear and precious to Him - His heart breaks when ever one of His beloved children is hurt - Jesus tells us that in order to be healed we must forgive. That doesn't negate the evil deed, and it doesn't let the perpetrator off. What it does do, is it lifts the evil stain, the pain, the nightmares, the sleepless night, the anger, the fear, the greef and the sense of guilt and helplessness right off of you, and places it onto the cross.

The evil men and women who do such deeds will still have to come face to face with Jesus one day, and unless they have admitted their crime publically, and accepted the consequences - unless after that, they have gotten down on their knees and begged our Holy King, and saviour for forgivness, they will be judged and sent to eternal seperation from God.

 In the meantime, you will be a great comfort and councelor to others who are suffering. You will know the way to ease their pain, you will be able to lead them straight to the heart of Jesus my sister.

 Now T.L. do it right now and be rid of this darkness which has clouded the light of peace and healing from your life. Search your heart, Jesus is there. Tell Him you forgive this man, tell Him you really, really forgive this man. Jesus will take all the darkness away instantly, and you will feel renewed. You will be ready to help others my sister, and what a blessing that is going to be...Amen!

John

Tigerlily, what has given you comfort during these years?