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My friend and I want to reconcile.  We forgave each other over six years ago.  But the church that my friend attends refuses to allow reconciliation.  Because he works at the church he is afraid to go against them.  He does not know how to fight without getting fired.  But God has shown us both we are to reconcile.  He is not allowed to talk or communicate in anyway and he does this for the most part.  He does try to do silent communication, coming up to me on the street and either smiling or crying.  Or sending silent calls.  He knows they are evil as I do but we don't know how to get to speak at last with each other.  Everyone we know is afraid of the church.  It has threatened me and him and is very powerful.  They intimidate me even though I left there over four years ago.  How can we get together and who can we trust to be a go between?  God wants us to be friends and to reconcile and we do believe in reconciliaton. Please pray for 1. a breakthrough 2. a willing go between. Thank you--Rose Kuo ???

Which is it - frankjodi or allanshrewsbury?

Frankjodi,  I accidentally put my friend's name on there because he was on my mind.  Sorry.

Hey,

I am a new member of this Forum, I will pray for you that God will help you and your friend reconcile.  I am sure that what ever God says you will be able to do it.

A church shouldn't be threatening, but what ever God says  it's ok.

Be encouraged,
Angelica

Thank you Angelica.  I am sad that churches can be corrupted.  But I have faith in God and somehow my dear friend and I will reconcile.  I wish I knew when and how, but somehow is all I know.  Thank you for praying.  Blessings-Rose

I dont understand, I am confused at what is happening to you, can you explain what you mean by "reconcile" and WHY are you not permitted to?? my understanding of reconciliation is between husband and wife....

First of all the church my friend attends is corrupt and they do not obey the Lord in most things so of course they don't believe in reconciliation.  Reconciliation is the second step in forgiveness and is for anyone, spouses, friends, neighbors, family, etc.  This is happening to us, he and I, because we are friends and the church is against godly friendships of any sort.  They say that friendship is not important, but my friend and I forgave and wish to reconcile.  Reconciliation can not happen all of the time people forgive.  Both have to want to reconcile.  We both do but religion kills the heart of Christianity and is against God.  This is why this is happening to us religious men are standing against the Will of God and my friend is under their control.  Charles Stanley says that to reconcile is to have restored relationship.  Pray for him--Rose

I have to ask, what kind of church is he going to? Based on what i'm reading, it certainly isn't a Biblical one. What does Scripture say about forgiveness? It says basically to forgive a man 70 x 7. The principle learned here is that no matter what one does to you , you must forgive him for what he has done in order to be smiled up on by our heavenly father. Here are some notes from a sermon i preached on forgiveness:

How many times should you forgive someone that has wronged you? Once? Twice? Even three times? NO…Scripture tells us to forgive 70 times 7 times…in other words unlimited forgiveness must be one of the strongest characteristics of the True disciple of Christ.

Consider this for a moment. We are sinners…Scripture says this plainly in Romans 3:23:
“For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God”


Also consider…it was God who was the first to forgive man for the sins that had been committed against Him. So God’s used to the business of forgiving us. Why? It is simply because He loves us SO much. He’ll forgive you every time you ask…but there’s one stipulation, if this can even be called a stipulation: The person asking for forgiveness from the Almighty has to ask with a sincere and repentant heart. The word repents means to “turn away from”. When you seek forgiveness with a repentant heart…He is faithful and just to forgive us of all unrighteousness (Sin) as 1 John 1:9 puts it.

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”

It’s hard sometimes for us to forgive someone simply because it is our human nature to hold grudges. Pure and simple, if someone wrongs us…it’s our nature to get even or get revenge for the act that has been committed, but the true disciple of Christ will not retaliate, but will be like Christ and follow His example for forgiving others. Paul points this out in one statement found in 2 Corinthians 2: 10 and 11

“To whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also: for if I forgave anything, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices”.  

Scripture also tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger (hold grudges against something or someone) lest we sin and let satan get a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26,27)

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
   27: Neither give place to the devil.

Also, God will forgive us (as true Christians) no matter how big the sin that you have committed against him is. For the unbeliever, God will forgive them should they earnestly seek Him with a sincere and repentant heart…otherwise His justice will prevail and they will still be no better off than they were in the first place, but God shows us in Colossians 3:13 that those who earnestly seek His forgiveness will receive this: “And you being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened (made alive) together with Him, having forgiven you all of your sins; blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to His Cross”. It states that we’ll be made alive i.e. given eternal life through Jesus Christ.

Now onto the other part…Scripture tells us in James 2:10 this:

“For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all”

Basically…if you have sinned once, you’ve broken all of God’s commandments…according to God.  According to God, the verdict is already guilty, but our pardon is in Jesus Christ and our pardon is given by the propriation and justification as stated in Romans 3:23-25 which says:

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
   24: Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:
   25: Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past,through the forbearance of God;

,and is received by confession of sin (Romans 10:9&10) which says:

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

and the reconciliation of our souls as stated in 2 Corinthians 5:18, 19:

And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given us the ministry of reconciliation; to wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

To be continued...

Joshua

Dear Joshua,
I of course agree with you.  But there are believers who have been born again and who are taught lies.  There are evil men in churches who are not of God.  Sometimes the church as a whole is good but one or two evil people can sway a whole church or at least the leadership.  My friend did sin against me but God helped me to forgive him.  I have even forgiven those who are evil and have come against us.  But my friend is in bondage and does not know about the freedom t here is in Christ even though he has been saved for over thirty years.   I was in that church but left after I found I could not fight the lies and evil.  I tried to make peace with all involved for over two and a half years and they mocked me.  So I left. I am now in a great church and know healthy believers.  But my friend is paid by that church and since it is a mega he thinks that he will never get benefits or a salary as good.  I told him if he left God would honor him.  But he is unable to see this.  My husband has tried to help him also but years of brainwashing (yes, Christians can be brainwashed by legalism as well as other sins) have caused him to be unable to see clearly.  Because a evil man is in charge of my friend at the church many in the church still hate me, though I was the victim, and they think grudges are actually godly.  So truth can be perverted.  The church has made good evil and evil good.  I have to forgive everytime I am shunned or openly insulted by those from my old church.  They have tried to say things against me because I stood for the truth.  But my friend lacks courage and can not stand up for me.  He has come to me weeping but can not speak because they have made him take a vow of silence.  Once he speaks he is to be fired.  But God told me to keep praying for him and believing for him.  I am here for him whenever he decides to obey God and get out of the darkness he is in.  The church is Bible believing and a mega church in our area and everyone is afraid.  People who know that I was abused and my friend is being abused by them are afraid to stand up and say anything fearing they will be sued.  They have many lawyers and police in the congregation and use them to intimidate others.  It is a very dark place.  My friend knows that there is something wrong but lacks faith.  He has been beaten down and his family is bound up in their system.  His wife has a job there and his children have had medical situations and college paid for by the church.  It is complicated but God is able to deliver him.  I lost everything when I left but I bless God daily that I am free and am in a spiritually healthy place today.--
Please pray for him, his name is Allan. --Rose

I will say this. I hate that your friend has been misguided as such. He must come to the realization himself through study of God's Word that such intimidation is NOT Biblical. Nor did God ever intend for it to be. It's sad that a "mega" church has done this. I never have been a big fan of mega churches. I wish I could speak with this allen person myself and listen to him and what goes on...because he is in definate need of prayer...as well as those other professing believers in that church. A church is not a business. It is a refuge. I'm not sayiny he has a lack of faith, but his faith is misplaced if it's being put into that church. I think it was for tehe better for you to leave such a church and now you are in a true Bible believing church that does practice Christian values. My heart leaps with joy that that decision was made. Remember this "With God before me, who can stand against me?" Now I'm not passing judgement on this church for many will probably think of it as such, however, i believe that what i've said needed to be said. I will add allen to our prayer lists at my church and ask all of my christian friends and prayer warriors if they will pray for him as well because i have a suspicion that this is a very rampant problem in our churches today. see, I live in the south, so i've been pretty much sheltered from the outlandish, disqusting, and heretic doctrine that is out there, but i know this. If it doesn't line up with God's Holy Word, it is false. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I hope all is well with you and I will continue to pray for your friend. God Bless.

Joshua

Thank you Joshua.  I have broken my leg and normally this would not be earthshattering, but it keeps me from seeing my friend.  I have these last years been able to see him across the street as I go on my morning walks as he goes to his job at the church.  God told me to everyday greet him and smile so than he understands unconditional love.  I did this for many years and he never was able to show a response since the fellow who controls him drives to work at the same time. But lately he has been smiling back and calling my home more though he can not speak.  But now that I have broken my leg I can not greet him and it is very frustrating for me.  Yet I know that God has a way.

The spirit you see in my friends church is sadly in many, it is called legalism.  This can happen in the North South East or West.  It is evil and Jesus was always more angry with the pharisees.  Regular sinners he comforted, but he hated when the pharisees misled God's people.  So Jesus is not into legalism.

I wish you could speak with Allan also but I don't know how that could come about.  He has a script that he uses when anyone asks him any questions.  I had a dear male friend offer to speak to him for me and he said it was like speaking to a robot.  My male friend said that he could tell Allan was very afraid and only answering with prearranged words.  

But Allan in the past told me many things of how they had abused him as they abused me before that vow of silence was put on him.  He has never been able to heal since they have not helped him get right with the Lord and with me.  He is a broken man and this breaks my heart since he has so much gifting from the Lord. But twisted teaching can mess up even someone with the most tender heart.  

Thank you for saying your church will pray for him.  Pray I get well soon so that I can show him the acceptance of God.  His church does not believe in this.  May he and others like him be delivered.  Thanks for the prayer.--Rose