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Fellowship => Just For Women => Topic started by: hisloveneverfails3 on June 02, 2005, 12:11:12 AM



Title: Teen Marriage
Post by: hisloveneverfails3 on June 02, 2005, 12:11:12 AM
Hello everyone! ;D I just found this forum and it looks awesome. well anyways... I have a question about marriage, even thought I'm not quite yet the legal age to be married.
How young is it to be married? I mean is it weird or wrong to be married say, fresh out of high school?
I mean if the couple are true christians and believe in the Lord with all their heart, and they believe that God is calling them to get married ASAP, is that ok?
My mom tells me that I have to go to college and all before even thinking about getting married, but what if I find someone and I believe that its God's will for me to wed at that time?
I know it is all in God's hands and all in his will, but i really would like to know some other christian women's opinions.
Please help!
Thanks!


Title: Re:Teen Marriage
Post by: M on June 02, 2005, 09:53:55 AM
Every state or country has different laws concerning age of consent for marriage.  Most require both bride and groom to be at least 18 years of age.  If they are younger than 18, they will need parental consent.  There is also a lower limit, usually 14 yrs old.  There may also be laws concerning the age split between the couple and laws about marrying blood or other family relations.  Even while complying with those laws, the clergy or church may have the right to refuse to marry certain people.  For example a pastor may refuse to marry a young woman who is 16 even if she has parental consent.  The laws are to protect any young person from being abused or exploited.  

These days, most people marry during or after college and even later.  It is important for someone considering marriage to be mature enough to make decisions that will affect the rest of their lives.  Any engaged couples should consider taking a good pre-marital course recommended by their church.  

Often a reason why teenagers want to marry is because they have trouble resisting sexual temptations or they are seeking more independence from their families.  They will often say that they are "in love" without really understanding the responsibilities of being a wife or husband.  It is very important for anyone not to rush into an important committment such as marriage.  Even having a baby requires a wait of up to nine months.  Self-control is a gift of the Spirit and available.  

I commend you, young woman, for asking such a good question.  It is fantastic that you trust in the Lord to find you a good husband.  It is also good that you are seeking your parent's wisdom.  Don't worry about waiting to find out about God's will for your life.  Spend your time learning about yourself and what qualitites you would like to have in a spouse to compliment your own special strengths and weaknesses.



Title: Re:Teen Marriage
Post by: busygran24 on June 04, 2005, 03:48:39 PM
As someone who married at nineteen way back in 1974 and has 2 married kids and 4 grand daughters, I would say it needs to be done with reverence. It is true I probably married to escape my homelife but we have a very strong commitment to each other and to the importance of the covenent involved.
I think the biggest problem with marrying early is missed growth. Very few teens that marry wait long to start having kids. Kids make it harder to grow together as a couple and as an adult.
Finally as a teen you live more in your emotions and marriage is a commitment and doesn't make you feel good all the time. This leads emotionally immature (of all ages) couples to bail out thinking it is a mistake- that they chose wrong.
In short, don't rush it you need to know him and yourself well to make a commitment and you need your family to make it work ???


Title: Re:Teen Marriage
Post by: hisloveneverfails3 on June 05, 2005, 05:35:12 PM
yea i totally believe that too... you gotta be mature enough to really decide if this person is for you, you can't all go based on feelings, cause i know myself and many other people my age that go based on their feelings and not what is really the best for them in the long run...
Thanks for the advice!  :)


Title: Re:Teen Marriage
Post by: Kristi Ann on June 07, 2005, 11:36:47 PM
ummm, I would wait until God gives the okay to marry! God knows what we need and marrying to young can rob you of some of His blessings He might have in Store for ya! ;)