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Great Reasons To Be A Guy...

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

(Small Print:  My wife didn't see me post this!)

;D  I'm telling...............  ;)

You don't have to worry about, pretty writing.

Let me add a few more.

It doesn't matter whether the toilet seat is up or down.

Cellulite is some kind of plastic they make at the refinery.

Our pecs are real, not silicone.

The belly may grow a bit, but the butt stays the same!

Lassie can make a very good dishwasher.

A blow dryer is great for removing paint from the wall.

We can barbeque!

We can bait our own hooks.

We're not afraid to drive the car into an automat car wash.

We know how to pump our own gas.

All vegetables look the same.

Pizza is health food!

Steak is health food!

We understand football.

We appreciate dogs.

We can lift the rear end of a car....ooops! Sorry! Not for everyone.

We look good golfing, even when we're bad.

We can stay quiet while someone else is putting.

We HAVE TO yell "Fore" when we tee off.

And my all time favourite:
We can walk out the door with nothing but shorts on!!!

 ;D   ;D  Thanks ZakDar - I needed those laughs!

Should we worry about the ladies on the forum finding this thread?  ;D  My wife is asleep, so I'm safe for now.

We can barbeque!
AMEN!!!!!
 ;D

Agree with everything. Praise God that I'm a man!  ;D

And ,God sent women with her innate caring and giving
nature,to love us all.

Allow me to add some more....................... ;D

______________________________________________________
Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a dang if someone notices your new haircut.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 'Nuff said...

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or irreparably mangle your feet.

Your friends can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?" ;D

Until the wife decides it is a perfect storage space for all those things she doesn't want to get rid of but never uses.

Or "Does this make me look fat?"

I can pee standing up!