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Christian marriage is a union of love between husband and wife, in which, God who is love, is the binding force (Matt 19:6). In other words, God unites husband and wife. In His plan they are no longer two, but one (Gen 2:24; Matt 19:5; Eph 5:31). This means that they have to surrender their entire being to the other and husbands have to love their wife as Christ loves His Church (Eph 5:25).  In fact their bond is stronger than that between them and their parents; they therefore, leave their parents and unite with their spouse (Mark 10:7). Because God is the binding force in their union and God is unchanging (Malachi 3:6), it is impossible to break the bond (Matt 19:6).  Jesus clearly tells us that no one should separate what God has joined together (Matt 19:6). Therefore, even when divorced people remarry, their first spouse is the only real spouse.  Therefore, sexual relationship with any other person becomes adultery (Luke 16:18). Since God is the binding force, an attempt at rejecting the bond is an attempt at rejecting God.  Divorce is therefore, against God. God therefore, hates divorce  (Malachi 2:16) and is not pleased with the offerings of those who divorce their spouse (Malachi 2: 13-14).  Divorce is absolutely prohibited by Jesus (Mk 10:11-12, Luke 6:18), except when the marriage was illicit (Matt 5:32).  The word in the Greek text for this exemption is porneia; which in no way means adultery (the Greek word for adultery is moiceia).

Forgiveness is the very heart of Christianity, because, Christianity has to do with redemption and redemption has to do with forgiveness. The whole redemption history revolves around God’s forgiveness. Although we are continually unfaithful to God He does not abandon us; on the contrary He sacrificed His own life to compensate for the sins (Matthew 26:27-28) we committed against Him.  If we have to accept His forgiveness we have to believe in it by showing the same type of forgiveness to others  (Matt 6:12)-especially our spouse. We must never give up, because, God does not give up on us.  Sometimes, the stresses of marriage may seem unbearable, especially if our spouse is alcoholic, abusive, mentally ill or unfaithful. In such situations, we can stay faithful to our commitment; by remembering, how Jesus compensated for our wrong doings, when we were unfaithful to him and wronged him.  We should continually pray and make sacrifices for the conversion of our spouse.  In our prayers, we should surrender ourselves completely to God’s will, and ask Him to be our thoughts, feelings, desires and actions.  

Wow, what a powerful two paragraphs. Thank you for posting that. My wife and I have been going through a somewhat rough patch. We have both been verbally abusive to each other and have said things which I can only believe satan put us up to. This post has shown me how to get through. Thank you so very much.

God Bless,
Robert

The Greek text uses Strong's #3429 in the Matt 5:32 text which is indeed moichao/adultery - I am not sure where you got your information.

Mat 5:32 But 1161 I 1473 say 3004 unto you 5213, That 3754 whosoever 3739 302 shall put away 630 his 846 wife 1135, saving 3924 for the cause 3056 of fornication 4202, causeth 4160 her 846 to commit adultery 3429 : and 2532 whosoever 3739 1437 shall marry 1060 her that is divorced 630 committeth adultery 3429 .

I am sorry that I have to disagree with your position.  God never  instructs nor does He ever command that people remain married when the spouse is abusive.  I am not sure where the idea comes from - but to tell a woman she has to stay in an abusive situation to show we don't give up because God does not give up, it the worst kind of spiritual abuse I know of.  That kind of situation, in essence, IS adultery.  A man who abuses His wife, has committed spiritual adultery and thereby has given the wife a completely Biblical reason to leave and divorce.  We are commanded to live in peace.

Jesus also said:

Luke 18
28  And Peter said, Behold, we left all and followed You.
29  And He said to them, Truly I say to you, There is no one who has left house, or parents, or brothers, or wife, or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God,
30  who shall not receive many times more in this time, and in the age that is coming, everlasting life.

Jesus never said "never" get divorced.  He was objecting to the way husbands were treating their wives, by divorcing them for their own lusts, and treating marriage so lightly.

Yes the word adultery is in the text, but so is the word "porneia."  Porneia is the only valid reason for divorce.  If anyone divorces except for porneia, divorcing the woman is what is causing her to commit adultery since in that culture she would need to remarry inorder to survive.  Once a woman is joined to a man, she may not be joined to another without it being adultery, Rom. 7.  

Of course abuse is a very legitimate concern.  It's abandonment, which is the same as divorce.  An abused woman who leaves because she's abused, isn't actually leaving, she's being driven away.  

Marriage is serious business to God.  What God has joined together, let no man separate.  Rather love one another.

Benjamin  

http://divorceandremarriage.bravehost.com/pharaskjesus.html (http://divorceandremarriage.bravehost.com/pharaskjesus.html)

Jesus never did away with "divorce" but reigned in the frivolous allowances permitted for it.

By the way.....this is REALLY cool forum :)

I take a strict view of the nature of marriage. For me, marriage is the only appropriate channel for sexual expression and divorce is permissible, if at all, only in very specific circumstances such as infidelity. Marriage is seen as a solemn covenant between the couple and God. The man is seen as the head of the household and his wife is expected to submit to him.

Jesus clearly taught that adultery is a basis for divorce Matthew 19:9 I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, [a]and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. I also believe that in 1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving partner [actually] leaves, let him do so; in such [cases the remaining] brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace.  Paul allows for desertion as a ground of divorce. Both of these are clearly grounds of ‘fault’.

Mark 10:11-12 And He said to them, Whoever dismisses (repudiates and divorces) his wife and marries another commits adultery against her;  12 And if a woman dismisses (repudiates and divorces) her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.

Although, remarriage after divorce not allowed, except for reconciliation.

God knows man's nature and He seeks to have a relationship with us in spite of our weaknesses and failures. He also seeks to bless us and see us in perfect well-being in spite of everything. This is the marvel of having a God like our God a God of love, a God of faithfulness!

God sent His Son Jesus to bring us into a new relationship with Himself. In this new relationship God deals with us like a loving father with a dear son or daughter. In this new relationship, God deals with us compassionately, gently and in absolute faithfulness to all that Jesus has accomplished on our behalf through His sacrifice on the cross.

By the way, most all these people from a year ago, don't post here any more.

Amen DW. I believe that if either husband or wife commits adultery, the marriage bed has been defiled. The spouse that commits adultry (infidelity), has already borken the marriage covenant. The injured spouse then can make a choice as to whether remain married and faithful to the marriage, or seek a divorce. I also believe that if a couple gets divorced and one of the spouses remarries he/she has ended the possibility of remarrying the first spouse as now it would mean both of them would be commiting adultery.

The best thing to do is to remain faithful to the person you are married to, that is why marriage is so sacred. Marriage is sacred to God and should never be taken lightly.
There are many dangers when a spouse is unfaithful to his/her partner, not only because of emotional damage, but the injured spouse is also exposed to whatever disease the cheating spouse brings home. And most important of all it can cause spiritual damage to the injured spouse.

Many damages can occur the injured spouse may become resentful, untrusting, and his/her relationship with God can be hindered.

On this point we clearly seem to disagree.

In matthew 19:9, Jesus is very clearly showing that adultery against the marriagee occurs upon marrying another..EXCEPT in a case where fornication (harlotry, sexual sin) has been evident.


And I say unto you,
Whosoever shall put away his wife,
except it be for fornication,
and shall marry another,
committeth adultery:
and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
(Mat 19:9)

His exceptoin clearly presents that adultery is not committed upon this marrying another when the former spouse was put away for this 'porneia'....

And Jesus' covenant isnt UNconditional either.
A quick readthru of Hebrews 6 and 10 will confirm that we can indeed enter this covenant and then betray it so as to not have His blood remaining for our sins.....apostacy....same as the adulterer...

any real study of 1 Corinthians 7 will show that this wife indeed isnt required to stay and be abused....
http://divorceandremarriage.bravehost.com/1corstudy.html

What is amazing is how some believe make this 'law of the husband' an UNconditional thing, when even Jesus, by His exception, shows that it is not.
Some keep this spouse in bondage, a slave, to this union, even after Paul says that the believer ISNT in bondage to it....

Perhaps we can look at the parallel passages in Mark and Luke and answer this question.  Why is the Matthew "exception clause" omitted in these two books?  This has puzzled me for several years and no satisfactory answer has surfaced.  I firmly believe in "the harmony of the Gospels," but this is an interesting question for me.  One reason I heard is totally unacceptable as it negates the Sermon on the Mount for Christians, so try and help me out here.

doc

Read Marks account of the empty tomb....compare it to Matthews.
Why the discrepancy.....the differing descriptions?
See here...
http://divorceandremarriage.bravehost.com/mattjewdiffmatter.html
Does it matter if Im Jew or Gentile when determining what happened that day?

Mark also omits the phrase 'for every cause' from his account....but if you read what I suggested, you will see that Mark ommitted other details as well.

We cant use this omission from certain books as there are a few things that are only mentioned in one place and not another.

If I say "the law says STOP at red lights" to you right today .....does that nullify the "exception' for you tomorrow of "except curb lane" whereby you have an exception that is given with that law that makes a  provision that shows that the law isnt absolute, but does have occasions where it may be superceded?

Lack of mentioning the exceptoin doesnt nullify it or the law itself.

If youve the time, spend a bit on my site that deals with much of this topic. :)