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 I am a Bible believing Christian - a literalist.

 I often give advice on Christian matters, and yet I am aware of my own short comings also.

 I think it is of the utmost importance for all of us to be aware of our faults, and to openly admit them, and constantly seek God's intervention and renovations.

 My particular trouble is that at times I am quick to fight fire with fire. I have a temper, and I can be sarcastic at times.

 I am praying about it, and I have actually come a long way from where I used to be.

 Without going into any great detail - In my past, and before I really became born again, I lived in a pretty violent atmosphere. I left home when I was just fifteen, for no good reason. I was well taken care of and greatly loved by my parents. I was adopted at birth by Mom and dad who are both born in England. I was born and live in Canada, although I am half Cherokee Indian and half English.

 I chose to live with a bunch of outlaw bikers, and quickly developed a reputation as a street fighter. I have been jailed a few times for assault, many years ago - 20 plus years.

I actually never started a fight, but it didn't take much to get me going. I have had many, many fights, and I took pride in a devastating win, which I now am very ashamed of. I have come a long way. Once I actually got serious about Jesus, my life turned around in a miraculous way.

 It wasn't an overnight event - it actually took several years to completely stop drugs and drinking. I was the lead singer in a semi successful rock band, and I lived the life style with enthusiasm. I had to learn to respect women, and not use them as my personal ego booster. I had to become humble, and the hardest thing I had to do was quit that life style. I enjoyed feeling like a "rock star" and it took years to realize what a complete and utter lie I was trapped in, and how much damage I had perpetrated on myself and others who "followed me"

 People who met me after I was saved have no concept of who I was. There is no hint of the violence or drug and alcohol abuse I enjoyed so much. There was times when I was forced to bite my tongue when confrontations occurred, and have not been successful in dealing with it. For example; about six or so years back, I was confronted by a large, drunk man. He obviously wanted to cause me physical harm. My first instinct was to avoid it, but he persisted, and I obliged. It wasn't good for him. I know I could have avoided that bad ending, but my past overtook me. I came to realize that I had placed myself in a situation where that type of confrontation could happen. Although I no longer drank or did drugs, I was going to friends homes where that sort of stuff was taking place - so, in a sense, I was actually responsible for what happened .

Today, I can honestly say that I am over that kind of violent reaction. I don't put myself into a position of running into that situation. I have had to sort of discard certain friends, who have parties where drinking gets out of control. It doesn't matter that I no longer drink, it's the other drunks that cause the trouble, so I stay away from all of that.

 My problem today is that I tend to respond to what I perceive as personal attacks, or angry comments, with sarcasm and counter attacks. Specifically here on this forum, I have found myself engaging in such a manner. Nothing outrageous, but at the same time, I realise (after the fact usually) that it's childish and not the way Jesus would want it. And that others look at that and are rightfully disappointed.

 My friends, I apologise, and I am working on it constantly through prayer and practise. I know it comes from my past, and from not totally submitting to God's will.

 Please continue to point out any such occurrences ( I pray not to have anymore - but, I'm human and a sinner) and I will continue to seek God's renovations.

Bronzesnake

Bless your heart Brother!

edited for clarity.

I sense your pain frustration dealing with this BRNZ.    I can certainly relate as well to this type of struggle.   Just wanted to let you know we love you man!   Hang in there.


Grace and Peace!

I agree, God bless your heart.

Thank you for sharing that with us, Bronze.

As you said we all have our faults.

Praise God for His loving Mercy. He loves us all and is willing to forgive us no matter what our faults may be. Should we do any less?

 Thank you so much my brothers, and God bless you for being patient and understanding - I really need the support.

Bronzesnake

Anytime friend!  :)

BZSN

MY GRANDFATHER WAS A FULL BLOODED INDIAN FROM THE PASAMAQUDI TRIBE OUT OF NORTHERN MAINE. MY FATHER A HALF BREED.

I DONT KNOW HOW THIS PERTAINS TO ANYTHING JUST MY FOOLISH PRIDE A GUESS. ;)

 I never knew my ancestry until I met my birth mother through children's aid here in Canada. I have some serious medical issues and I initiated contact in order to get medical history, that's when I found out by back ground.

My birth mom is English, and my birth father (who I've never met) is from Oaklahoma, and is Cherokee.

It's funny - throughout my life and prior to that meeting, people often asked me if I was native American.

 I was proud to find out, but I'm not into the culture or anything. My long time friend, and guitar player in a band that I spent many years in is Ojibway, and he is always bugging me to participate in Indian cultural events such as sweat lodge. I'm just not interested though, I love Jesus, and that's enough for me.

I guess I know why I'm such an expert fisherman though. :D

Bronzesnake

ya bronzesnake i was proud to find out also, but I'm not into the culture or anything either. my sister looks like a american indian but i look sort of irish and french euro look.

One of my  grandmothers is from Oklahoma area and also cherokee. I also have some relatives in the Cherokee Indian Village, Arkansas. I am not into the culture thing either but always found it interesting to know. I also have Swedish, English and Irish in there.

Bronz

I appreciate your testimony and confession. He is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse.

Some verses came to mind as I read your post:


Rev 12:11
11. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. (KJV)

2 Cor 5:17
17. Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (KJV)

Gal 6:15
15. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision availeth anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creature. (KJV)


Gal 4:6
6. And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. (KJV)


Rom 7:20
20. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. (KJV)

Gal 2:20
20. I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. (KJV)

Col 3:3
3. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. (KJV)

Eph 1:17
17. That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: (KJV)

A few nights ago I had the most impacting time in prayer of my 35 year walk with The Lord.
I will spare you, for now, the lengthy testimony.

 As I knelt beside my bed, The Lord’s presence was very tangible. I had a distinct impression to stand. I’ve never had an audible voice or visions (so far anyway), but this was close. I believe I was somehow presented to The Father. There seemed to be a question in the air. It was as a very loving and rhetorical: “and who are you?”  I was compelled to say:  “I am a son” and “I am a new creation”. This was a confession I believe I was being encouraged to make. A verse rolled out of me: I spoke Eph 2:10 in the first person

“I am your workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which you have before ordained that I should walk in them.”

I believe The Lord would rather we seek revelation than renovation, as in Eph 1:17. When we see who and what He has made us in Christ, self improvement becomes a non-issue. Adam can’t be polished up…he’s out of here.

Agape
Bairn

Psalms 97:9 For thou, LORD, art high above all the earth: thou art exalted far above all gods.
Psalms 97:10 Ye that love the LORD, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked.
Psalms 97:11 Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart.
Psalms 97:12 Rejoice in the LORD, ye righteous; and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

TRUST

Bronze, I am just a new member.  I have been looking for a place to chat with Christians about serious topics since i have no real Christian friends to confide in or converse with.  Right away I believe that God is going to use you, one way or the other, in my life.  I really relate to your testimonial and your  honesty and humbleness is precious in the sight of the Lord.  I too have anger issues.  Although I am not violent, I am passionate.  I too have struggled with major sin in my life (and at times still do).  I don't know why I'm writing all of this exactly, guess I just want to reciprocate your sentiment.  Now I know a little bit about where you are coming from.  Now you know a little bit about me.  Look forward to having many non-arguments...haha...in the future.  God bless...in the name of Jesus.