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Steps in healing a broken heart:  

Step 1 Acknowledging and properly expressing the hurt.
"He restores my soul..." Just what does restoration of our human spirit entail? It includes mending or repairing our psyche and emotional stasis. Restoration allows our human spirit to soar -to function as God in tends - and to contribute its part in attaining the incredible potential in God's Plan.
First, know the Lord cares for every hurt you have ever had in your life.  The Lord wants to take your pain.  Second, make a list from your earliest memories to the present of everyone that has ever hurt you physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, events and places where you were hurt, etc.  Third, be honest with the Lord.  You might be surprised of feelings and emotions that surface as you write your list out.  It is very possible to have a broken heart for years - and yet fail to admit it and to deal with it because of emotional hurts because of age, and or way of self protection, going into denial!

How did the Patriarch Job respond to the horrendous tragedies that killed his seven sons and three daughters?

•   Job 1:20-22 "Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshipped. And he said: 'Naked I came from my 'mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.' In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong."
Step 2 Dealing with anger, resentment, bitterness, and hatred and releasing those emotions.

First, done be afraid of your emotions or the pain you feel.  Second, give yourself permission to feel the pain and give God permission to pull up the pain.  Because when you start writing your list out and you feel like crying over a situation, go ahead and cry and release the pain to the Lord.  See yourself giving your pain over to the Lord and see yourself giving this person over the Lord and forgive them.  Our emotions have an amazing capacity for good - and for evil (or bad). Failing to deal with strong negative emotions can have devastating consequences.  When we feel angry over someone or something that is indication of unforgiveness, bitterness, and/or broken heart.

•   Ephesians 4:26-27-"Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil."

You might even feel angry, resentment, bitterness or hatred over a person or situation as you make out your list.  Be willing to forgive these people.  Unresolved anger is like a spiritual cancer. It tends to grow and spill over into all of our relationships.  It will separate you from others!

Many of our relationships - marital, family, work, etc. -- need emotional and spiritual healing. Unclear and unloving communication is the biggest problem in relationships.

•   Proverbs 25:28 -- "Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.
•   Ephesians 4:31-"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice." (These must be re placed with forgiveness and love for others). Bitterness becomes a spiritual poison. We must not allow its presence in our lives.
•   Acts 8:23 -- As Peter said to Simon the Sorcerer, "For I see that you are poisoned by bitter ness and bound by iniquity."
Have you ever hated anyone?  John says if you hate your brother, is a spirit of murder.  That doesn’t mean you want to kill them but you hate them and that is a spirit of murder.  They have spirit of bitterness, bitterness being supported by unforgiveness, unforgiveness being supported by resentment (Matthew 20:21-24), and resentment being supported by retaliation (Romans 12:17-19) and retaliation being supported by anger and anger (James 1:18-21) being supported by hatred (Titus 3:3-5) and hatred being supported by violence (Gen 6:13) and violence being supported by murder (John 8:42-44, 1 John 3:15).  

Sometimes we fail to relinquish — or release — the hurt, the pain, and the agony. "God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces."  That means every time an event or person comes to mind that bring ill feeling, then release the hurt to the Lord.

Releasing the hurt and being at peace with ourselves Philippians 4:7 - "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Step 3 Forgiving Others, Yourself and God and what happens when you don’t!

Are we willing to forgive others, even if they have hurt you and don’t feel like it?

Remember, it is not an emotion to forgive or even an option.  It is a requirement that we do or else it separates a person from God, others or ourselves which cause problems in the spiritual walk.  We don’t have the right to carry the offense or take justice in our own hands as it is not our job Vengeance belongs to the Lord (Psalms 94:1).  Remember, forgiving does not always mean it is wise to re-establish or to continue a relationship. God does not expect you to stay in, to continue, or to reestablish an abusive relationship.

Unforgiveness and bitterness puts a breach in your relational walk with the Lord, others and yourself and unforgiveness and bitterness causes sickness in emotionally, mental, physically and spiritually.  Any time there is a breach in love, sickness, disease and demons have a right to come in and steal from you.  That is what the enemies job is to kill, steal and destroy you (John 10:10).

In fact bitterness is a root to cancer and arthritis and other diseases.  "A wounded spirit, who can bear!" Out of the wound oozes the stench of self-pity, bitterness, and accusation.  Many physicians are on record as stating that over 50% of our illnesses have their origin in our minds and spirits. In other word: germs, physical malfunction, and unpreventable accidents do not cause half the trouble that comes from guilt, nervous tension, emotional stress, and spiritual unrest. Our disturbing sense of guilt and deep rooted fears play havoc with our health and well-being.

•   Prov. 12:25 “25Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.” Depression by life experiences in the heart.”  Mental and emotional problems!
•   Prov. 13:12 “12Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.  How do you get a broken heart, feel hopeless for a long period of time, be abused, neglected, conditionally loved, be misused, get into a hopeless situation.  Spiritual trouble!
•   Prov. 14:30 “30A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones.”  Physical sickness in the body!
•   Prov. 17:22 “22A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.  Physical sickness in the body!
•   Prov. 18:14 “14The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, But who can bear a broken spirit?” Physical sickness in the body when there is a broken heart.  Envy and Jeolosy.
•   Prov. 15:30 “30The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, And a good report makes the bones healthy.”    A healed heart has a physically healthy body!
•   Prov. 15:15 “15All the days of the afflicted are evil, But he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast.”  Mental torment.
•   Prov. 16:23 “23The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, And adds learning to his lips.”  The person with a broken heart will be murmuring and miserable.  They will be talking, lack of faith, doubt and fear.”  Spiritual fear, doubt and unbelief.
•   Hebrews 12:15 - Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.
•   Prov. 25:28 “28Whoever has no rule over his own spirit, Is like a city broken down, without walls.”  Meaning anything can attack that city (your body) such as sicknesses.  Meaning you don’t have rule over your heart.  In Isaiah 61:4: “ And they shall rebuild the old ruins, They shall raise up the former desolations, And they shall repair the ruined cities, The desolations of many generations. “
•   Prov. 15:13 – “ 13 A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.”

Forgiving Others
First, make up in your mind to forgive those people that have hurt you.  Second, every time a person or time comes to mind that has an ill feeling, submit it to the Lord by asking forgiveness until this thought or feeling stops coming.  That is why the Lord said to forgive 70 x 7 (Matthew 18:21-22).  The enemy will continue to bring it to mind.  You have a choice to forgive and refuse to grab hold on it again.  This might go on for weeks because the enemy is an accuser of the saints.  So, that is a form of warfare is to continually submit it to the Lord and confess your unforgiveness or ill feelings of a particular person(s) or event to the Lord.  This is also renewing the mind because you are taking every thought captive.  The enemy likes to torment and throw thoughts and events and people back at us that have hurt you.  

•   Matthew 18:21-22 - "Then Peter came to Him and said, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

Bitterness and unforgiveness can be a generational stronghold.  If your parents could not forgive easily, most likely you cannot forgive easily and will need the generational stronghold broken.

Jesus then proceeded to give the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. When the servant failed to have compassion on his fellow servant, Christ gave this serious warning.
•   Matthew 18:35 -" So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

Go to Part IV