ChristiansUnite Forums

I need help.  I am a single 39 year old woman, due to divorce not by choice.  

There is a person on my job that I have known but has recently been conversating on a daily basis.  Mostly about work and life issues.  In talking to this person I'm finding myself being more attracted to him.  He is a christian man, same age, very good family values.  He is also married.  Some of our conversations have revealed (by him) some concerns he has in his marriage.  On several different occasions he has mentioned leaving his wife, which I feel is wrong.  I encourage him to go get counseling for he and his wife.  They have three children.  Sometimes I feel like he may really serious consider leaving if one more incident occurs.  I'm trying to be a friend. As I do believe that we are friends.  There are times that I do feel my attraction for him leaving the stage of friendship to wanting more of the relationship, which can NEVER EVER be.  

So do I stop talking and being a shoulder to lean on or a sounding board?  And if so, how do I do that without him ever finding out how I am starting to really feel about him?  I don't want my feelings to destroy a friendship and make things awkward since we do have to work together.  I don't think it's good for him to know ever how I feel.

Am I wrong to have these feelings?  Even though my own marriage did not last because my husband didn't want to stay after he cheated on me.  I STRONGLY believe in marriage that everyone should stand and FIGHT for their marriage and family.

Sorry this is so long.  But I don't really have anyone that I could taltk to about this subject.

Thank you.

I would be really careful with this one. If he has mentioned leaving his wife, then he may be looking for an easy way out and I doubt you want to be his excuse. I would mention to him about getting some marriage couseling and speaking with his pastor. Until things settle down in his life I would back off on being his shoulder to cry on. Think of how his wife would feel even if you are just friends?

Yeah, I agree.

If he is starting to confide in you more than he is sharing with his wife then trouble is starting...

I don't think it's wrong to feel as you do. Acting on the feelings on the other hand...

I think you should respect the sanctity of marriage. Release that this is something that can never happen, as it would be an awful thing for his wife and especially his children, and just deal with it somehow. Perhaps if he splits up something can happen? It's really up to the holy spirit, let it guide you my daughter.

I would like to know how you made out in this matter.
Write back even though it's been a while