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 i  met a guy in college and he approached me first and went out of his way for me to notice him. he asked me a lot of personal questions like if i'm married , bf want children and what my plans are after college which he asked more than once. he would flirt by smiling and winking with his face always lit up and he would  stare at me a lot on campus, he would do this at school where people could see. he always wanted to know what i did over the weekends. he would always let me know where and when his next class was. i would ask him what he did over the holidays and he said spent them alone does not get to spend holidays much. ok the problem is i found out from someone that he is married. the guy works a 3rd shift 30 hrs and takes 16-20 hrs at school from morning to afternoon then sleeps noon til evening and spends time with his guy friends by hanging out. so he does not spend much time at home and he lives with his parents which i know can be hard. he lives in a new area which at one time he lived alone, which i think is strange but he does not  live alone now. but this guy never push me into anything like most married men would do to a single woman. he did hint that he was interested by hinting lunch or hang out like for coffee but our school/ work schedule were different. so why would a guy act this way towards me could it be that he is unhappy at home cause everybody at school said the way he acted that he liked me and even with his friends around this guy would flirt with me and they would asked me questions like if i was involved with someone. i 'm just afraid now to talk to him i ignore him  but since i want talk with he just stares and tries to get my attention and looks very sad like he 's sorry. he acted like he wanted to say something and just could not say it when i would ask he looked like he was about to cry it just really hurts at first i was very angry but now i do not know what to do. please pray for me.  

After reading your dilemma, I had all kinds of red flags pop up. I would watch your step around him. I am a guy in case you didn't know, prsawyer. It could be simply that he wants friendship. I don't know, I just would watch myself, if I were you.

Yes, I will pray for you.


Go in peace with God.
Bob

i am watching myself and not getting too close. the problem is friends (guys) of mine would watch how he acted around girlsall this guy would do would say hello so would he go out of his way to talk and act really interested in me thanks for the prayers.

prsawyer

Hi Prsawyer,

       It sounds like you're in a sticky situation.  I think you are doing right to keep your distance from him.  I suggest you keep praying about the situation and for this man and follow not only what the Bible says but also your convictions.  I will also keep you in my prayers.

thanks for the prayer/ advice it just hurts right now and that i still sometimes think about this guy and how much he made me happy/ brighten my day everytime i saw him. the peace and how i wanted to be a better person cause people saw a changed in me and now i have emptyness i just hope i feel happy again.

He's married but lives with his parents and doesn't seem to spend much time at home.  You pretty much speak with him in passing (no lunch dates or "hanging out for coffee").  Did I understand this correctly?

Forgive me if this sounds harsh....I really wish you only the best but it sounds as if you are having a self-pity party.   How emotionally attached could you possibly be to someone who you chatted with in passing (if I understand your post correctly)?  Could you possibly have built false emotions up in your head about a potential future with this man?  It's not uncommon.  It is, however, time to move on.

If the man is married, he's off limits.  Period.  While it is possible for a male and female to have a platonic friendship (I have several), this does not involve "flirting".  Plus, since you seem to have emotionally attached yourself to this man, a platonic friendship right now doesn't seem to be a safe option.

Don't allow your heart to feel sorry because he "looks sad and lonely."  If he's married, then he has a wife that he can (and should) be turning to for comfort.