ChristiansUnite Forums

Hello. i have an issue with my marriage.

Ive been married for 4 years now. been with her for 8 though. in the beginning i did cheat on her and drugs and all that but i repented and over came it (to make a long story short) last year we seperated and i really went toward god, and he returned her and my kids..we went to church and all that.

i lost fellowship however due to starting college on top of being a soldier in the army.

well the first time i cheated on her was in south carolina. now ive been sent on a month and a half training missiong out here again. my wife went ballistic. see before i left we were happy; private time together love peace joy the works. the kids were in line, bills were paid and there was no argueing. only we didnt have fellow ship, but to make up for it we would bible study and keep in the word..

i get these orders to come out here to train. my wife flips her lid telling me day after day not to cheat or she'll kill me - daily. prior to me leaving her sister called her and told her i was being with strippers and all this..but my wife was hurt, and put it behind her and said she didnt want to hear it - even though i didnt do it.

(her sister and i hate each other)

also throuhg the year my wife was at times cold - and from my 'urges' she wouldnt want to be with me..so i downloaded porn - not bright but hey i had needs. she found out and flipped but we stayed through it.

but like i said i came out here and she was very upset aobut me leaving. she did NOT want me to leave and did not want me go..but when i did she had nice hand written letters about how she believed in me and seen the changes i made for her christ and our family. she said in SEVERAL hand written letters i have recieved out here that she believes in US and loves me like never before and how when i get back im going to be more than happy yadda yadda. ...this on top of emails every day devoted to me and her.

well she said she got a dream from god that i was going to be tested out here by some females and if i fail the test (sexual i assume) our marriage is over and she'll be hurt but god will comfort her. well that was on like a friday. from that point she fasted for a week for answers and the following friday she tells me that she doesnt love me, never did and that was the answer god gave her.  :'(

she said that the reason she returned the first time from the seperation was because of guilt and ontop of everything else im a fake christian..only coming around to manipulate god when it suits my needs..(she is a new christian)..so she talks with big arrogance about how she doenst need me love me or even wnat to be married anymore. i asked her why , and she still brings up the cheating from 1999 that she said in several letters that she forgave me for! she claims every time i leave i cheat- but its not true.

my mom tried to talk wtih her about it saying that its easy to feel right and at ease while i pay the bills, she lives in my house and drives my car with my cash as spending money..its easy. i prayed about humbling her and the breaks went out on the car, all her cash dwindled away and now she needs me.

i just need some one out there to pray for me and this situation because i ahve been avoiding the strip clubs and women and living right. only thing is she is so angry when i call and so hate ful i just dont understand why she would act like that. why would god tell her she doesnt love her husband after 4 years, wich was also her excuse on why she was so cold before..she just doesnt care.

i made a commitment to god and her to live right and i have. but im being treated like a criminal - ill be lucky if she picks me up from the air port. i need gods answers to me what he wants me to do, i need her humble with a receptive heart and i need my marriage to finally be 100% love and nothing else..can someone else interceed and pray in agreement with me about it? my name is cedric and her name is alex.

also her family stays so much in our busness they might as well pull up a chair when we have sex. can someone else pray that that they and anyone else causing distractions in my marriage/household be bound and removed? when im home we are in love and supporting each other..but when i fly away suddenly EVERY bad thing i ve ever done in the relationship is regergitated...and its difficult..thanks in advance..and sorry for writting a novel...ced  :'(