ChristiansUnite Forums

MY NIGHTMARE


 
I woke up on the morning of November 3, 2004 to find:
 
John Kerry - President
 
John Edwards - Vice-President
 
Jane Fonda - Secretary of Defense
 
Michael Moore - Foreign Secretary
 
Whoopi Goldberg - Secretary of Interior
 
Jessica Jackson, Rev Sharpston & Bill Clinton - Chaplains & Moral Advisor to the White House
 
Al Gore - Head of FBI, CIA & Homeland Security
 
Tom Daschle - Senate Majority Leader
 
Howard Dean - First Speech Writer & No. 1 Advisor to the White House
 
Hillary Clinton - No. 1 Queen of Everything
 
Don't laugh, it could happen unless you get out there and vote!!!!!!


<:)))><

Jesus & the Democrat

A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Libertarian with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, honey! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light!"  He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. "On my bill," he said.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me--I'm collecting disability!"


<:)))><

LOL. Both are funny yet so sadly true.

MY nightmare is also along those lines but with Bill Clinton getting the position of Sec Gen of the UN. It is a position that he has announced that he will be going for in 2006 when Kofi Anons time is up. It is believed that if Kerry makes President that he will get it.

Now thats really "skerry" ;D


<:)))><

PLEASE VOTE TODAY


MY NIGHTMARE


 
I woke up on the morning of November 3, 2004 to find:
 
John Kerry - President
 
John Edwards - Vice-President
 
Jane Fonda - Secretary of Defense
 
Michael Moore - Foreign Secretary
 
Whoopi Goldberg - Secretary of Interior
 
Jessica Jackson, Rev Sharpston & Bill Clinton - Chaplains & Moral Advisor to the White House
 
Al Gore - Head of FBI, CIA & Homeland Security
 
Tom Daschle - Senate Majority Leader
 
Howard Dean - First Speech Writer & No. 1 Advisor to the White House
 
Hillary Clinton - No. 1 Queen of Everything
 
Don't laugh, it could happen unless you get out there and vote!!!!!!


<:)))><

FROM THE MIND OF JAY LENO

"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why -- with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him." - Jay Leno
*
"We make jokes about it, but the truth is this presidential election really offers us a choice of two well-informed opposing positions on every issue. OK, they both belong to John Kerry, but they're still there." - Jay Leno
*
"John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq."
*
"President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating." - Jay Leno
*
"Well, the good news for Democrats--Now over half the country can identify a picture of John Kerry. The bad news-- the majority still thinks he's the dad from ''The Munsters."' - Jay Leno
*
"John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them." - Jay Leno
*
"They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: 'I do.'" - Jay Leno  


<:)))><

And if Kerry is elected this time, Hillary will probably be elected in 2008. Must be the end times!  :-X

I agree 100% You get"TWO"Thumbs UP :)



<:)))><

LoL at this being the end times. You didn't need this election to know that we are in the last days...lol. I wouldn't vote for kerry if i could...and i most certainly won't be voting for Hilary...because if my gut is right...she'll probably follow her husband's policies to a certain extent and carry the whole idealism of the democratic party to a new extreme...Trust me, we are in the last days...I think this may be sort of a stretch but then again maybe it isn't. take a look at the voter turnout...i believe it hasn't been this large since WWII...i could be wrong, but i read somewhere where it hasn't been this large since WWII. Just think in the same time period of WWII, Israel was brought forth as a nation once again. Now we have another big turnout of voters...could it be some other big thing's about to happen. Lol just a few thoughts to think about...If they don't make much sense, just write it off as a 17 year old babbling..but just give it some thought...these are the last days. Are you on your knees looking up or standing up looking down?  ;) God Bless

In His Service
Joshua

 ;D

PRESIDENT KERRY

One sunny day in 2005, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on his Harley.

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."


The Marine replied, "Sir, Mr. Kerry is not President and doesn't
reside here."


The old man said, "Okay," and rode away.


The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Kerry is not President and doesn't reside here."

The man thanked him and again rode away.

The third day, the same man rode up to the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with president Kerry."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Kerry. I've told you already that Mr. Kerry is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?"


I answered, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."


The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you
tomorrow". ;D ;D ;D



<:)))><

WHAT A "WONDERFUL" DAY ;D ;D ;D

 ;D


(http://www.sirinet.net/~blkidps/blgif1.gif)

im from massachusetts i have to put up with this clown and kennedt declaired kerry the president tuesday night in a speach :'(

Poor Old Ted, drunk again



(http://www.sirinet.net/~blkidps/blgif1.gif)

ya some of the red sox gave him some jack daniels ;D

 ;D

(http://www.sirinet.net/~blkidps/blgif1.gif)