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Title: What do I say face to face to my attacker? Post by: LMarsh on July 16, 2004, 09:54:50 PM I am a Christian. Have posted here for several years now off and on.
In 1999 our home was broken into while myself and my children were alseep. My husband worked nights. To make a long story short....I was assaulted, suffocated and my life and my childrens lives threatened. He wasn't caught until last October when a DNA match came up. On September 3rd we will be returning to the state where this occurred for the plea and sentencing of this guy. It has been discussed that he will get between 15-20 years. I will be standing up to make a Victim Impact Statement. I don't have to be there. But after seeing this guys record....it is ever since he was a juvenile and he's in his 30's. Well...I feel he has to see the pain and impact this has had on our lives. I've been up nights....trying to compose in my head what to say. I have just been reading in the bible something about Darkness not comprehending the Light. Does anyone know the verse I'm talking about? I prayed out loud the whole time this guy was in my home. I don't know what to say to him. It's not my job to save him. I let go of my anger awhile ago. At least I thought I did. I find myself gritting my teeth as I type this. Thank you for any advice....scripture...etc. Tired, confused and wondering, God Bless, LMarsh Title: Re:What do I say face to face to my attacker? Post by: JudgeNot on July 16, 2004, 11:11:23 PM LMarsh,
You have my prayers. Before we were married my wife was kidnapped, rapped at knife point, and left naked on the side of a Texas freeway. That was 25 years ago (we’ve been married 21 years) and she still suffers from Rape Trauma Syndrome. I can personally relate to your feelings if only ‘second hand’. You are not required to look this man in the eye and say anything. If he is still the kind of person who assaulted you, your passion would be lost to him in any sort of confrontation – he just doesn’t care. In fact, treating him as a non-entity and addressing his crime to the court rather than directly addressing him may be your best bet, as well as the biggest blow to his ego if he is still “mentally” the same person as the one who assaulted you. (A professional mental health counselor would probably tell you the exact opposite.) What you can do is look the judge in the eye, and speak only to the court authority. Speak in terms of how the offender’s actions have affected your life rather than how the offender himself has affected you. Condemn the action, not the person – but be passionate that the action deserves the full punishment the law prescribes. You will have the satisfaction of having an impact on the punishment for an action, without having publicly judged what may or may not be in the man’s heart now. He DOES deserve punishment for his earthly crimes while on earth as judged by man’s laws. God will deal with his eternal judgment according to what is in his heart. Take Jesus into the courtroom with you – you can’t go wrong. God Bless, JudgeNot Title: Re:What do I say face to face to my attacker? Post by: LMarsh on July 17, 2004, 09:49:58 PM Thanks so much Judgenot. That is such great advice. I would compose things in my head....but it always came back to me judging him and his actions. I like the idea of addressing the judge and not feeding anyones ego.
My prayers go out to you and your wife as well. There are good days and bad. I'll let you know how it goes. God Bless, LMarsh Title: Re:What do I say face to face to my attacker? Post by: Reba on July 17, 2004, 10:17:30 PM John 7:24
24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment. KJV Judgenot's post is most excellent. Title: Re:What do I say face to face to my attacker? Post by: sincereheart on July 18, 2004, 05:57:36 AM My prayers are with you! :'(
Psalm 119 :: The Message 61 The wicked hemmed me in--there was no way out-- but not for a minute did I forget your plan for me. 69 The godless spread lies about me, but I focus my attention on what you are saying; 78 Let the fast-talking tricksters be exposed as frauds; they tried to sell me a bill of goods, but I kept my mind fixed on your counsel. 84 How long do I have to put up with all this? How long till you haul my tormentors into court? 95 The wicked lie in ambush to destroy me, but I'm only concerned with your plans for me. 107 Everything's falling apart on me, GOD; put me together again with your Word. 121 I stood up for justice and the right; don't leave me to the mercy of my oppressors. 122 Take the side of your servant, good God; don't let the godless take advantage of me. 134 Rescue me from the grip of bad men and women so I can live life your way. Title: Re:What do I say face to face to my attacker? Post by: 2nd Timothy on July 19, 2004, 03:56:49 AM LMarsh, You have my prayers. Before we were married my wife was kidnapped, rapped at knife point, and left naked on the side of a Texas freeway. That was 25 years ago (we’ve been married 21 years) and she still suffers from Rape Trauma Syndrome. I can personally relate to your feelings if only ‘second hand’. You are not required to look this man in the eye and say anything. If he is still the kind of person who assaulted you, your passion would be lost to him in any sort of confrontation – he just doesn’t care. In fact, treating him as a non-entity and addressing his crime to the court rather than directly addressing him may be your best bet, as well as the biggest blow to his ego if he is still “mentally” the same person as the one who assaulted you. (A professional mental health counselor would probably tell you the exact opposite.) What you can do is look the judge in the eye, and speak only to the court authority. Speak in terms of how the offender’s actions have affected your life rather than how the offender himself has affected you. Condemn the action, not the person – but be passionate that the action deserves the full punishment the law prescribes. You will have the satisfaction of having an impact on the punishment for an action, without having publicly judged what may or may not be in the man’s heart now. He DOES deserve punishment for his earthly crimes while on earth as judged by man’s laws. God will deal with his eternal judgment according to what is in his heart. Take Jesus into the courtroom with you – you can’t go wrong. God Bless, JudgeNot Very well put brother! Grace and Peace! Title: Re:What do I say face to face to my attacker? Post by: ollie on July 19, 2004, 03:28:54 PM I am a Christian. Have posted here for several years now off and on. Tell him you forgive him and then reveal to him the great love of God by telling Him the good news of Jesus and how God will also forgive him if he he turns his life around in Christ.In 1999 our home was broken into while myself and my children were alseep. My husband worked nights. To make a long story short....I was assaulted, suffocated and my life and my childrens lives threatened. He wasn't caught until last October when a DNA match came up. On September 3rd we will be returning to the state where this occurred for the plea and sentencing of this guy. It has been discussed that he will get between 15-20 years. I will be standing up to make a Victim Impact Statement. I don't have to be there. But after seeing this guys record....it is ever since he was a juvenile and he's in his 30's. Well...I feel he has to see the pain and impact this has had on our lives. I've been up nights....trying to compose in my head what to say. I have just been reading in the bible something about Darkness not comprehending the Light. Does anyone know the verse I'm talking about? I prayed out loud the whole time this guy was in my home. I don't know what to say to him. It's not my job to save him. I let go of my anger awhile ago. At least I thought I did. I find myself gritting my teeth as I type this. Thank you for any advice....scripture...etc. Tired, confused and wondering, God Bless, LMarsh In the words of our Lord: Matthew 5:43. "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" Ollie Title: Re:What do I say face to face to my attacker? Post by: BUTCHA on July 19, 2004, 07:06:12 PM LMarsh, that was great judge not....You have my prayers. Before we were married my wife was kidnapped, rapped at knife point, and left naked on the side of a Texas freeway. That was 25 years ago (we’ve been married 21 years) and she still suffers from Rape Trauma Syndrome. I can personally relate to your feelings if only ‘second hand’. You are not required to look this man in the eye and say anything. If he is still the kind of person who assaulted you, your passion would be lost to him in any sort of confrontation – he just doesn’t care. In fact, treating him as a non-entity and addressing his crime to the court rather than directly addressing him may be your best bet, as well as the biggest blow to his ego if he is still “mentally” the same person as the one who assaulted you. (A professional mental health counselor would probably tell you the exact opposite.) What you can do is look the judge in the eye, and speak only to the court authority. Speak in terms of how the offender’s actions have affected your life rather than how the offender himself has affected you. Condemn the action, not the person – but be passionate that the action deserves the full punishment the law prescribes. You will have the satisfaction of having an impact on the punishment for an action, without having publicly judged what may or may not be in the man’s heart now. He DOES deserve punishment for his earthly crimes while on earth as judged by man’s laws. God will deal with his eternal judgment according to what is in his heart. Take Jesus into the courtroom with you – you can’t go wrong. God Bless, JudgeNot a thought i had was hope he looses his life as a human and in the process he will find jesus while in prison. mankind will be served , and god would be pleased. |