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Title: WOMANHOOD Post by: Forrest on June 11, 2004, 01:03:57 PM WOMANHOOD
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. (Isn't that the TRUTH!!! ) One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes! Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day. I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: sincereheart on June 13, 2004, 06:40:21 AM LOL! ;D
Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Shammu on June 15, 2004, 02:13:51 AM Thats rich, Forrest.
Runs as fast as I can outta this thread Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Shylynne on October 27, 2004, 07:34:39 PM Another one of life's mysteries is... how we can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto our legs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider. :-X
;D Title: WOMANHOOD Post by: Brother Love on October 28, 2004, 05:25:16 AM WOMANHOOD Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. (Isn't that the TRUTH!!! ) One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes! Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day. [/size] I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. LOVE IT!!!!! (http://www.sirinet.net/~blkidps/bljpg2.jpg) Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: sincereheart on October 28, 2004, 07:48:34 AM Quote You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. ROFL! ;D:-X Quote You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes! And all this time I thought it was the dryer! ;)Title: WOMANHOOD Post by: Brother Love on October 29, 2004, 05:53:21 AM Quote You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. ROFL! ;D:-X Quote You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes! And all this time I thought it was the dryer! ;);D I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. ;D (http://www.sirinet.net/~blkidps/bljpg2.jpg) Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Willowbirch on October 30, 2004, 12:01:13 PM Another one of life's mysteries is... how we can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto our legs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider. :-X ;D My aunt is terrified of crickets...and she is over six feet tall.;D Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: sincereheart on October 31, 2004, 07:20:20 AM Quote You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. ROFL! ;D:-X Quote You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes! And all this time I thought it was the dryer! ;);D I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. ;D The other part of the secret is that no one with children can afford the stuff! ;) Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Shylynne on October 31, 2004, 04:34:55 PM Another one of life's mysteries is... how we can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto our legs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider. :-X ;D My aunt is terrified of crickets...and she is over six feet tall.;D I`m terrified of anything that resembles a bug, and i`m no shrimp :-X Title: WOMANHOOD Post by: Brother Love on November 01, 2004, 04:29:06 AM Quote You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. ROFL! ;D:-X Quote You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes! And all this time I thought it was the dryer! ;);D I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. ;D The other part of the secret is that no one with children can afford the stuff! ;) ;D sure ;D (http://www.sirinet.net/~blkidps/blgif1.gif) Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Kalthzar on November 16, 2004, 03:46:35 PM Just thought you ladies should be aware of this quote
Nancy Astor (1879-1964) American Born British Conservative politician "I married Beneath me, all woman do" 'in Dictionary of National Biography 1961-1970' (1981) Does this make me a gender traitor? :D Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: sincereheart on November 17, 2004, 09:04:06 AM Just thought you ladies should be aware of this quote Nancy Astor (1879-1964) American Born British Conservative politician "I married Beneath me, all woman do" 'in Dictionary of National Biography 1961-1970' (1981) Does this make me a gender traitor? :D Probably! But it was amusing! ;D Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Kalthzar on November 17, 2004, 01:41:16 PM *hides*
*wonders when he can come back* *sits in a corner contemplating* *decides woman are better conversationilists anyway* *whistle* ;) Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Melody on December 15, 2004, 02:07:36 PM WOMANHOOD Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. But at least my glasses, car keys and shoes would have company! Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: frankschnitzel on December 18, 2004, 07:41:19 PM I think it's definitely true that women are made to feel so silly about little amounts of fat. I weight 280lbs, but I know jesus still loves me however heavy I am. One thing that upsets me though is that I get ill a lot. How may the holy spirit help me?
Please give me some guidance sisters, I feel I really need it. Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Misterpants on December 18, 2004, 07:47:37 PM I'm not a woman so forgive me if my reply seems inapropriate, but I feel your pain, my sister. I admire your strength of character. It's true that our almight father loves us, no matter how large a frame we might have.
All I can say is keep praying for the almighty will hear you. If you continue to focus your thoughts on him, he will believe in you. Have you tried Herbal medicine? Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Soldier4Christ on December 19, 2004, 01:25:00 PM Quote Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. That sounds like me. :D ;D Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Kristi Ann on January 10, 2005, 11:49:08 AM Thats rich, Forrest. Runs as fast as I can outta this thread ya you had better run buster!! You can make admens now, by reading the below; To the women: This is not anything we don't already know. To the men: Read slowly and carefully and commit to memory. The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.
[/color] ummmmm, PLEASE pass the Chocolate NOW, thankie!! Love n' Hugs, \o/ KristiAnn MsGuidedAngel Title: Re:WOMANHOOD Post by: Cashrader on January 14, 2005, 03:27:50 PM Thats rich, Forrest. Runs as fast as I can outta this thread ya you had better run buster!! You can make admens now, by reading the below; To the women: This is not anything we don't already know. To the men: Read slowly and carefully and commit to memory. The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.
[/color] ummmmm, PLEASE pass the Chocolate NOW, thankie!! Love n' Hugs, \o/ KristiAnn MsGuidedAngel That was fabulous!! I'm goona blow it up and post it!! |