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TEST FOR DEMENTIA
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it," also applies to the brain, so..... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.  It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Children's World."
If you said "water," proceed to question 3

3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, "green bricks," what are you still doing reading these questions?????
If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? . . . in East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated.  If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room.
 
Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator-You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on.  In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your "friends" and hope they do better than you did!

Oklahoma Howdy to JudgeNot,

Brother, I told these to my wife, and she sent me to my room without further discussion. I was thinking about sharing these with my friends, but I want to buy extra insurance first. I looked out the window when I got to my room and saw:


 ;D

Love In Christ,
Tom

Poor Taste JUDGE NOT ;D

It is OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.(http://www.jimlynch.com/images/ziplip_125.gif)

(http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/joysong/rofl.gif)

 ;D  I tried to, but I heard this weird music and a voice saying, "DO NOT try to adjust your TV set, we are in control of it."       dodododododododo

"You are in the Twilight Zone!"   ;D

So, I got some popcorn, closed my eyes, and I watched the show.   ;D

(http://www.sirinet.net/~blkidps/s59.gif) LOL!



so tell me is the shows all reruns at yer age peas (http://www.jimlynch.com/images/icon_mi_4.gif)

 ;D  Yes, including the news............


Royal Canadian Mounted Police Type   ;D

now your jest drippin sauce peas :P

The cops stopped me today...I just know you been telling your buddies I gotta be taught a lesson in respect LOL  :-X

 ;D  What did you do? Did you forget to holler "WHOA!!" to your mighty horse at a stop sign? We don't have stop signs where I come from.


 ;D

what did I do? (http://home.earthlink.net/~ourcozylittlenest/forum/emoticons/more/twoeyes.gif)
I`m shocked you could ask such a thing! (http://home.earthlink.net/~ourcozylittlenest/forum/emoticons/more/shockedandhappy.gif)


hmm...what you were born by the side of a dirt road in the middle of no mans land?

Guilty... of Innocence

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."

(http://home.earthlink.net/~ourcozylittlenest/forum/emoticons/more/doh.gif)

Here is a classic joke that taught me to stop properly
at stop signs, and grin.

A police officer pulled over a red Corvette after it had run a
stop sign.

"May I see your driver's license and registration please?"

"What's the problem, officer?"

"You just ran the stop sign back there at the last
intersection."

"Oh, come on pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me".

"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a
complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"It's no joke, sir".

"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop,
saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with
caution."

"That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come
to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your
license and..."

"You've sure got a lot of time on your hands. What's the
matter, all the doughnut shops closed?"

"Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your
license and registration immediately!"

"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing
down, and coming to a complete stop."

"Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door,
dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded to
methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick.

"Now sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a
complete stop?"

  :-X

Shylynne,


I've never heard that one - THANKS!

Two elderly Wal-Mart greeters were sitting on a bench during break time
and one turns to the other saying, "Art, I'm 73 years old and I'm just
full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Art says, "I feel just like a new born babe."

Rather amazed, Art's co-worker repeats his statement back in the form of a
question, "Really? A new born babe???"

"Yup", grins Art, " No teeth, No hair and I think I just wet my pants."   :D