ChristiansUnite Forums

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Do you women realize the males are challenging our peabrains over in the mens thread?

We must dispense judgment upon thier heads!

IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD...

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IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD...

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IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD....

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IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD...

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oooh love the bowling lane  ;D

*wonders if the doghouse chain can spare a few feet for the picture idea up there*  ;)

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.  ;D

Why are men so happy?
Because ignorance is bliss.  ;D

 :D

If a man is in a woods and speaks, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong  ???

Who makes the Rules

The female makes the rules. The female is never wrong.

The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification

No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted

If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she has the right to immediately change some or all of the rules.

If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding which was the direct result of vagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.

The male must must always apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See above rule.

The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all

The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish

The female has the right to be upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being  upset. The female may, however, give  reasons like "you mean you dont know?" to see if the male is paying attention

The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be  upset. Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or indication whether or why she wants him to be upset

The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times. Failure to do so will result in  penalties imposed at the sole discretion of the female

The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,  embellish, or wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive, hard-headed, dense,  and/or oafish

The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has bestowed on others, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such illustrations are non-rebuttable

If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to exhibit any manner of behavior she wishes without regard to logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior

Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought, opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or rationalizations will not be entertained. Begging the female for mercy and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances, especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.

PLEASE NOTE: These rules are subject to change as the female sees fit. All rules are null and void under the PMS Exception Law. New rules apply during different stages of a women's life.

(http://www.pickandsend.com/jh/smile.gif)

I enjoyed them all LOL :D

One day, three men were walking along, and came to a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no way of crossing the river.

The first man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength, courage, and ability to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength, courage, and ability to cross this river." Poof! God gave him a row boat, and he was able to row across the river in about three hours.

The third man had seen how this had worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength, courage, and knowledge to cross this river." And poof! God turned him into a woman and he walked across the bridge.

 ;D

What should God give a man who lacks  knowledge?
A woman to impart it  ;D

 ;D

One day, a man was reading his bible. He read how Solomen Asked for wisdom, and got it. So, the man asked God if he would answer a single requst one. God Appeared in the room, and said ok, and asked him what does he want. The man didn't expect God to actually reply, and he really didn't know what he wanted. God said he would give him a day to think over what we wants.

The man thought about wisdom, and wealth, and enternal youth. It came time to deside, and he was faced with 2 that he couldn't pick from. God appeared to him, and ask him what he wanted. The man said he isn't sure. Part of him wants to have God build a bridge to Hawaii, because he is scared of boats AND planes, but really wants to visit Hawaii. The other part of him wanted to understand women. So, God gave him another day to deside.

The next day, god appeared to him, and asks if he picked one. The Man said he did, and told God we wanted to understand women. God paused for a second, then replied...




"Would you like a 2 lane, or 4?"

 ;D ;D I still love you, girls, don't worry ;D

 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive  ;D

Is it because women are hard to understand? Or.... could it be..... that men are just not smart enough?  ;D

But that's okay, Tibby. As long as there are heavy things to be lifted; men will always have a place with women!  ;D

oooo she`s good!  LOL! ;D

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rofl!





psst sincereheart...this thread is looking an awfully lot like
we the only gals willing to strike back :-X

do you suppose the rest of em got blackmailed into silence by the bosses?  :-\

 :-X
I wonder if we're gonna be in trouble soon?  ???

*closes before hubby sees this*

 ;D

       SinereHeart, Shylynne;
    I know you may be in trouble, but youll come out on top, have fun.

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(http://www.uuintergenerational.org/piglet.gif)

...jest muddying up the waters for ya boys  ;)

(http://www.fishermansnet.com/Cartoons/images/BabyMen/world.JPG)

(http://www.fishermansnet.com/Cartoons/images/BabyMen/direction.JPG)

What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.

Why can't a man be both good-looking and intelligent?
Because that would make him a woman.

Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female?
It is rarer.

What do you call an attractive intelligent and sensitive man?
A rumour.

Why don't men go through menopause?
They never left puberty.   ;D

*SPEWS*

ROFL!

All good ones! Course you may need to explain 'em to Tibby in preparation for his entry into manhood!  ;)

;D i love that one!
If we had a "spitdrink" emote here at CU, i would have surely used it! ;D that was pretty good.

"spitdrink" ;D

Courses for Men
-Taught By Women, For Men.

101
Combating Stupidity

102
You Too Can Do Housework

103
P.M.S. – Learning when NOT to speak.

104
How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray

105
What Not To Buy Her

106
Basic Laundry Techniques


107
Parenting – No, It Doesn't End With Conception

108
Cooking -  A Skill You Can Learn Too

109
How Not To Act Like A Ignoramus When You Are Obviously Wrong


110
Understanding Big Boys Do Not Need Toys


111
Reasons To Give Flowers

112
Garbage – Getting It To the Curb

113
The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonymous

114
How To Put The Toilet Seat Down

115
How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost

116
The Remote Control – Overcoming Your Dependency

117
Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes

118
How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

119
You Too Can Be a Designated Driver

120
Changing Your Underwear  

121
Real Men Ask For Directions

122
How To Take Illness Like a Man

 ARGUMENTS
> |
> |
> | A woman has the last word in any argument.
> |
> |
> | Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


AND FINALLY...
> |
> |
> | A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
> |
> | An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted
> | to
> |
> | concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses,
> | and
> |
> | pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
> |
> |
> | "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Thats A KEEPER :)

You girls seem to have a problem understandign the world. So I posted a country songto help you. ;)

The Truth About Men
by Tracy Bird

We don't like to go out shoppin
We don't care what's on sale
We just wanna to sit with a bag full of chips watchin the NFL

When you come over at half time
And say does this dress fit to tight
We just look you in the eye with a big fat lie
And say "uh uh fits just right"

Well that's the truth about men
That's the truth about us
We like to hunt and golf on our days off
And scratch and spit and cuss
No matter what line we hand ya when we come draggin in
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably happen again

We hate watchin steal magnolias
We like Rambo and die hard 4
Jump up and down like fools
When we see the new tools
At the Home Depot store
We don't really want to take you to dinner
At some fancy resturant
The only reason we do is cause it all leads to the one thing that we all want

Well that's the truth about men
That's the truth about guys
We'd rather pick gituars and work on cars
Than work on the problems in our lives
And though we say it to ya every now and then
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably gonna happen again

Well if you wanna know what we're all thinkin
It's nothin to complex
It's just something cold for drinkin
And a whole lot of S.E.S.

That's the truth about men
That's the truth about us
We like to hunt and golf and drive around lost
And scratch and spit and a whole lot of other disgusting stuff
It don't matter what line we give you
When we come crawlin in
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably gonna happen again
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably gonna happen
Sure it's gonna happen
Ya know it's gonna happen again

THAT'S THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN!!

;D ;D ;D I still love you all :-* ;D

YE SLUBBERDEGULLION!   :P

Men are such prattling gabblers, freckled bittors, mangy rascals,  scoundrels, drunken roysters, sly knaves, drowsy loiterers, slapsauce fellows,  druggels, lubberly louts, cozening foxes, ruffian rogues, paltry customers, sycophant-varlets, drawlatch hoydens, flouting milksops, jeering companions, staring clowns, forlorn snakes, ninny lobcocks, scurvy sneaksbies, fondling fops, base loons, saucy coxcombs, idle lusks, scoffing braggarts, noddy meacocks, blockish grutnols, doddipol-joltheads, jobbernol goosecaps, foolish loggerheads, flutch calf-lollies, grouthead gnat-snappers, lob-dotterels, gaping changelings, codshead loobies, woodcock slangams, ninny-hammer flycatchers, noddypeak simpletons, turdy gutten ...

*gasps for air*

...and further are not worthy of a sidelong glance from these, we dainty  maidens fair, and might as  well content themselves with in the company of coarse unranged dogs who are their only willing companions  ;D

(pray dont seek or ask for definitions to my sixteenth century babble or I could be in serious trouble lol)  :-X

Shylynne


Sounds like you could use a trip to the  "What is Gossip" thread  ;D

Well, if you don't like us being prattling gabblers, freckled bittors, mangy rascals,  scoundrels, drunken roysters, sly knaves, drowsy loiterers, slapsauce fellows,  druggels, lubberly louts, cozening foxes, ruffian rogues, paltry customers, sycophant-varlets, drawlatch hoydens, flouting milksops, jeering companions, staring clowns, forlorn snakes, ninny lobcocks, scurvy sneaksbies, fondling fops, base loons, saucy coxcombs, idle lusks, scoffing braggarts, noddy meacocks, blockish grutnols, doddipol-joltheads, jobbernol goosecaps, foolish loggerheads, flutch calf-lollies, grouthead gnat-snappers, lob-dotterels, gaping changelings, codshead loobies, woodcock slangams, ninny-hammer flycatchers, noddypeak simpletons, and turdy guttens, then stop making us like that ;) ;D

I don't know for sure, but I think you broke the forum rules more then 8 times during that list, don't you  ;) ;D

Can't eat beef........  mad cow disease.

 

 

Can't eat chicken......bird flu.

 

 

 

 

Can't eat eggs......again, that bird flu.



Can't eat fish.......heavy metals in the water has poisoned their meat.




 

 

Can't eat fruits and veggies.......insecticides and herbicides.



 

 

Hmmmmmmmmm!

 

I believe that only leaves Chocolate!

 

 
 
 
 
 

:) :D ;D Tibby, you crack me up! I got a good laugh out of that one.

Yup, Forrest, Chocolate never hurt nobody. ;)

"I don't know for sure, but I think you broke the forum rules more then 8 times during that list, don't you "  

uh, i`m not sure but you could be right tibby...but if arrested i`ll plead temporary lack of oxygen. :-X

cides...I left out the most important word of all...it was supposed to say..."Men are such lovable..."  :P

"Sounds like you could use a trip to the  "What is Gossip" thread"  

But  its all biblical sister...spare the rod and spoil the manchild  :-[

I think  forrest is too kind to say so but may be wishin to choke me with chocolate  :-X

 :D

Hmmmmmmmmm!

I believe that only leaves Chocolate!

Forrest, I do believe you have the best grasp on my kind of diet!  ;D

You girls seem to have a problem understandign the world. So I posted a country songto help you.

'Girls' - ROFL! Thank you, Tibby, for all your help! Come back when you're a man (you know, at least older than a teen :-X) and tell us all about it!  :P See below for Courses: 101, 103, 109 for your start into the world of being a man!  :-*

glad I could help  :)

Since Tibby is still pouting, I thought I'd post another country song to help him understand..... ;D DISCLAIMER: I am in no way promoting drinking!  ;)

Guys Do It All The Time
(sung by: Mindy McCready)
(written by: Bobby Whiteside/Kim Tribble)

Got in this morning at 4 a.m.
You're as mad as you can be
Well I was drinking and talking and you know how that goes
Time just slipped away from me
By the time I knew what time it was
It was too late to call home
Stop carrying on acting like a child
I wasn't doing anything wrong

Guys do it all the time
And you expect us to understand
When the shoe's on the other foot
You know that's when it hits the fan
Get over it, honey, life's a two way street
Or you won't be a man of mine
So I had some beers with the girls last night
Guys do it all the time

I know I left my clothes all over the place
And I took your twenty bucks
No I didn't get the front yard cut
'Cause I had to wash my truck
Will you bring me a cold one, baby
And turn on the TV
We'll talk about this later
There's a ball game I wanna see

Guys do it all the time
And you expect us to understand
When the shoe's on the other foot
You know that's when it hits the fan
Get over it, honey, life's a two way street
Or you won't be a man of mine
So I had some beers with the girls last night
Guys do it all the time

You look like you just took a long look in the mirror
Tell me baby if things don't look a whole lot clearer

Get over it, honey, life's a two way street
Or you won't be a man of mine
So I had some beers with the girls last night
Guys do it all the time

Yeah, guys do it
Yeah, guys do it
All the time, all the time
Yeah, guys do it
Yeah, guys do it

Whats wrong with that? ;D ;D ;D 8)

*clunks Tibby on head.... HARD*  ;D

Ouch! I said a cold one, woman, Whats wrong with you!? ;D ;D ;D

You need to just "Stop carrying on acting like a child
I wasn't doing anything wrong"  ;D ;D ;D

Do you treat your husban like that, sincereheart? :'( ;D

I still love you, Sin :-*

ROFL! Nope, I treat him like royalty and he reciprocates. Works for us both!  ;)

*clunks Tibby again for even asking*
*and one more clunk just cause it's fun to clunk Tibby's hard head*

If we had a "spitdrink" emote here at CU, i would have surely used it! ;D that was pretty good.


Here ya go! (http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/joysong/spew.gif)

Marriage Lessons

On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Jane was asked to give her friends a brief account of how to make  a marriage last for such a long duration.

"Tell us Jane, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your husband?"

Jane responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you extreme tolerance, self-restraint, and all about mercy and grace, if you use these talents skillfully, after several years you will even recieve the amazing ability to  make the deaf hear, the dumb to speak....  

:D

Good Joke, but you had a few spelling errors. Let me correct them for you:

On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, John was asked to give his friends a brief account of how to make a marriage last for such a long duration.

"Tell us John, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

John responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you extreme tolerance, self-restraint, and all about mercy and grace, if you use these talents skillfully, after several years you will even receive the amazing ability to have a temperately a deaf ear…“

psssst sincere may I borrow your club pluuese


*clunks Tibby on head.... HARD*  

THAT boy is for messin up my perfectly good joke!  :P

psssst sincere may I borrow your club pluuese

Anytime! Anytime at all!  ;D





Psssssttttttt Tibby, not bad!  ;)
Course you still deserve the CLUNK!

;D

You women are very, very bitter people.  Besides, God like men more.  Says so somewhere in Hezekiah... ;D

Amen!

Actually, it says that men are supposed to make the coffee! There's a whole Book about it....

He brews!  

Now if you'd just do your jobs, we'd be less bitter - as long as the coffee isn't!  ;)

Now if you'd just do your jobs, we'd be less bitter - as long as the coffee isn't!  (http://www.jimlynch.com/images/icon_zbeer.gif)

hehe!  That's funny!   :D  I've got the coffee brewin' ladies and gentlemen.  I'm bein' the man I've been called to be!   ;D

Men used to fool me by walking upright, but I'm on to 'em now! (http://www.jimlynch.com/images/smile_purple_125.gif)

Really? I had a similar problem. Women used to trick me by hiding their horns under their hair... ;D

Micah 7:2 "...And there is no upright person among men..."  :-X

LOL Willow...you made me go look that up cause I thought you were making it up...and sure `nuff... :-X

Micah 7:4  The best of them is as a thorn: the most upright is sharper than a thorn hedge  :-X

Have you got long hair willow?...we may need it!  (http://www.jimlynch.com/images/moptop_125.gif)

Micah 4:13 "Arise and thresh, Daughter of Zion, For your horn I will make iron..."

Me! Make things up???  8)

I chopped it off last month. (Now there's nothin' to hide the horn...)  ;D

Now there's a good man!  ;)

Good come-backs ladies  ;)  Tibby, is probably sprouting horns from all those clunks :) and AllinAll is probably still trying to get the coffee brewed perfectly!

LOL!  allinall offered us coffee ...but neer served us any...
he said it was brewin! ... so we know ...he knows how to work the coffee pot...hmmm...I KNOW...no clean cups!...I once heard of a man  whose wife went away...and came home to find him eating from the childrens tea set because there were no clean dishes (http://www.jimlynch.com/images/icon_rolleyes.gif)

Sorry ladies!  It took some time but...


(http://images.animfactory.com/animations/food/beverages/tea_steaming_md_wht.gif)

...coffee's served!   ;D

oh my!...what a lovely hostess...is your wife...tell her thank you for us Allinall! (http://www.jimlynch.com/images/tongue2_125.gif)

Behind every sucessful man,
there was a woman behind him.
        Florence

Oo! Where's Pooh Bear?  :D

Do you know me?   ;D hehee

Do you know me?   ;D hehee

It`s common  knowledge amoung us women folk that women  always have to finish anything a man starts...but thanks anyways (http://www.jimlynch.com/images/coffee.gif)

Really?  I've never known a man to ever let the woman have the last word in an argument... ;D

...nagging him about something.

LOL!!

"If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a Thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag."

A WIDOWER who was about to be remarried was busy cleaning up his kitchen when one of his friends dropped in.

 "Boy, you're working hard," remarked his friend.  "What gives?"  "Well," replied the soon-to-be-married fellow, "this kitchen is going under new management on Monday and I want to have it in good order."  

A week after the wedding, his friend arrived for dinner and inquired about the new "manager."  "Was your wife impressed with your efforts?" he asked.  "She sure was," replied the newlywed. "She's hired the old staff to carry on as usual."

(http://www.jimlynch.com/images/laughingoutloud.gif)

Ooh! A smart one, she is!  ;)




Too late for me..... :-X

 ;D  ROFL

What's the Instinct that makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying???

It's the same instinct that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

 ;D

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper????

We don't know.  It's never happened.   ;D

ROFL! Candice....



Ooh! I missed this:


Now there's some knowledge!  ;D

$$$.....

Kurt and his wife Melissa often take car trips from the U.S. to
Canada. One holiday season they were stopped at the border,
where the guard asked Kurt the value of any goods they would be taking back with them. Kurt paused to think of the value of everything they had acquired on their trip.

"Never mind," the guard said, "what's the most expensive thing in your car?"

Without hesitation, Kurt replied, "My wife."

 :-X

A Real "Bad Hair" Day..........

"What happened to you?" asked the bystander of the man
lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor.

The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin.
"Well, the last thing I remember was my wife coming out of the beauty salon. I took one look at her and said,
'Well, Honey, ... at least you tried.'"

ahahahahahahaha! Great one!

WOW, OMGosh I Loved reading through these! May I save some of the pictures and use them at Kristi Ann's Haven?  I am so sure the other women will love them as much as I did!!!


"Blessings" \o/


KristiAnn

go for it KristiAnn  :D

Thanks so Much Shylynn!!!!  ;D


"Blessings Sis"  \o/

KristiAnn

I have the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All I have
to do is mention it to my husband and he says, "Let's eat
out!"  (http://www.jimlynch.com/images/icon_mi_4.gif)

Ooh! My kind of cooking! I'll be trying that recipe!  ;D

My dad just says, "Oh, that's interesting! How did you learn to cook?"

Smart man!  ;)

*Picks up a piece of Shylynne meatloaf and runs from this thread. ;D

Why did God make Mother's.....as told by 7-8 year olds

Why did God make mothers?
 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
 2. Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.
 3. Mostly to clean the house.
 4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
 3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
 1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but probably pretty bossy.
 3. They say she used to be nice.

How did your mom meet your dad?
 1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
 1. His last name.
 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores.

Why did your mom marry your dad?
 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
 3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goofball.  
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
 1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.  
 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
 3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
 
What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
 1. I think around 30 years.
 2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't even have bread on them!

Hmm.

Male  bashing.....ugh.  

Typical male.... jumped in at the end and never read through all the way from the beginning...... ;D

And what is the title of the thread??
Oh yeah, it's Women Strike BACK!  :P

Fairy Godmother.....

A Fairy Godmother told a married couple: "For being such an
exemplary married couple for 35 years, I will give you each a
wish."

"I want to travel around the world with my dearest husband"
said the wife. The Fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra! two tickets appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and
said: "Well this moment is very romantic, but an opportunity
like this only occurs once in a lifetime. So.....I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife was deeply disappointed, but a wish was a wish. The Fairy made a circle with her magic stick and.....abracadabra!...
Suddenly the husband was 90 years old.

Reminder: Fairies are Female!
 ;D

 so you  appreciate home cookin no matter how bad huh? LOL

  :D

Women like silent men, they think they're listening :P

You have peabrains?

LOL ...and still can outsmart anything with an adams apple  :P

Well, hey, that goes with out saying.

(http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TgDdAmoYn90U48IYTB*loq2TGnoMgSlvUqpJeDkRWcVHFijf1zngDvJDpZiWn7jEw1MQPzGwCVDtnrI5nH!OUof65Sc1fFkXR6iPRfHH4K5O33iJNuJg2g/womens%20remote.bmp?dc=4675478746666358572)

Wow, Where I can I buy one of those Remotes above?! LOL.

Very Good Sincere Heart, I love this thread a lot. We DO NOT have peabrains men! :P


Blessings,  \o/

Kristi

:eek: well there are no women in my house. I live alone so the remote is mine. ;) ;D

Yikes I bet your bathroom is growing things...... Need I say more, I think not, ya know........ to be continued.......

Men are like~> ja ja fer ser they Uff Da ja ja ya betcha!!   ;D


I be of second Generation Nørge in the USA ja ja really (http://img77.photobucket.com/albums/v234/KannJ/flaggen18.gif)


Blessings Everyone, especially us Women, me Must Stick together until the husbands bring home his paycheck tee hee..


Kristi

Nope, I clean house once a week. Thats vaccuming, mopping, dusting, sweeping the floor, and counters in the house. Dishes, pots, and pans get washed every day. When I have gone out on dates, I have been told I have a house as clean as a restruant.
Sooooooooooooo................. nana nana nana!!!  ;D

Ooh! We'd like to invite you to come for a visit! I'll have the cleaning supplies ready!  ;D

Okay,  Send Pictures so we can believe it, LOL... j/k   ;D

I am happy you care for your home, are you for hire at all?

Blessings,  \o/

Kristi

I hate cleaning my house, why would you think ;) I want to clean your home? ;D

Sorry I am not for hire. I don't like cleaning house but, it needs to be done. Wish I had enough to hire a maid. :(

I clean when my disability lets too do so.... Taking Vicodin for pain everyday, plus my Trazodone Sleeping pills and my Zoloft, knocks me out.......   :'( :'(

Sleeping pills don't work for me. I am better off taking pain pills to help me sleep.

It was worth a shot!  ;)

umm, mine are prescription sleeping pills from my doctor. They help me sleep through the night when the pain will not let me sometimes..


Blessings,   \o/

KristiAnn

:o :o :o :o :o :o

;D  :P ;D  :P ;D  :P ;D  :P ;D  :P ;D  :P ;D  :P
If you change your mind, just let me know!

So were mine,living with pain every day though the pills never worked. The only way they would work is if I took 4 pilols to sleep. My Doc had a fit about that.

:o :o :o
Not a chance of me changing my mind about that. ;D

ROFL!  ;D We'd throw in a free meal!  ;D And we can even limit it to just the chores I hate!  ;)

, "I have been told I have a house as clean as a restruant"

Hmmmmm! Not the greasy spoon type I pray.    ;D

Nope, nada, no way. ;D

ummmm What's is a greasy spoon type anyhow?!  ???

Blessings,

KristiAnn

PS. Now don't get that on your clothes or you're washing them buster!!

A restruant where there is alot of grease used in cooking the food.

Why? I wash my own cloths anyway.

No it isn't, :yuck:
A greasy spoon type of place I (http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage06/8.gif)

I'll take that as a "Maybe"!!  ;D

ROFL!! WOMEN!!

(http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0SwCMAwUXr3S8UVWPWE!W2YMEnnqBdbarHbeaYbuWy!oUjjmaT*9984yeXdRA9v28q1XPREH5BNpe9rWA01Av*JkdckoGHkF6ObO!gkVIGheWqcvGzfTPuQ/paperbag_125.gif?dc=4675463343101174825)

Oh, so thats who your husband is........... The Unknown Comic! ;) ;D

"ummmm What's is a greasy spoon type anyhow?!  ???"

"Main Entry: greasy spoon
Function: noun
: a dingy small cheap restaurant"***

*** "Merriam Websters Online Dictionary"

I was praying that his house would be cleaner than a cheap dingy restaurant when he refered to it being as clean as a restaurant.

It was all in fun.   8)

Ollie  

;D

ummmm What's So funny DW hmmmmmm    :-X

Argggggggggggg!! Kristi is agreeing with me? Whats happening to the world?

Stay tuned believers.............

Same forum...............

Same week................

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

From the thread MEN STRIKE BACK

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


Brother Love :)

<:)))><

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Then how come I'm always up first and I'm the most tired??  >:(






 ;D

;D

In my home sincereheart, I am the first up. :P
Course I have different reasons as well.

Me too!  Aaaaand I'm usually the one who gets up with the kids at night, aaaaand I'm usually the one who helps them when they're sick, aaaaaand I NEVER do so begrudgingly or in anger.  *Hopes his wife doesn't read this one*  

 ;D

Doesn't count! Cause you're also the LAST one up!  :P

Can I quote you on this? That way you can be in trouble with your wife AND my husband!  8)

;D

WHOA! Is Jazz-man the result of all that caffeine absorbtion?

I was up with the kids when my wife was asleep, so she could rest at night. I also helped the kids when they needed help with homework. ;D

Last awake and first up.
:nana: :nana: :nana: :nana: :P :nana: :nana: :nana: :nana:

Hee, hee, hee, hee, :nana: :nana: :nana: :nana: :nana:

Actually, I do get up with the girls, and am usually the one to take a day to stay home with them when they're sick.  The begrudgingly angry part... ;D

That and the nightly house painting...for the neighborhood.   ;D

DUDE!!![/b]  WE are the men!!   ;D

Woen Know Men


Top 10 things women know about men:






     
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According to my daughter, I spoiled her because........
I helped her with her stuff she had to do. Her boyfriend thinks it is good that a guy helps, when raising a family. To me that is cool. 8) ;D

You want to come to Arizona and paint my house? ;D

;D

DUDE!!! WE are??  ???

 :P

Well you are a woman. ;D

Phew! I feel better now! Bet my husband does, too!  ;D

I bet your husband feels better as well. ;D

GRRRRRRRR    >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ACCCCKKKKK PMS = Pretty Moody Sometimes, like right NOW!!!!!!!!!!


Blessings,  \o/

oh I thought that meant we must pick on men sometimes  ;)

Nope you should learn how to be nice to men. ;D

GGRRRRRRR, PPppppppffffff Meow, Ppppppfffftttt Grrrrrrrr   ;)

Nice kitty nice kitty, don't GGRRRRRRR, PPppppppffffff Mewo, Ppppppfffftttt Grrrrrrrr me or you will get a bath. ;) ;D
By the way all 4 of my cats love water. ;D

Uhhhh.... why?  ???


 :P

Oh sure you must have brain washed all your kitties!! Normally kittes are terrified of any water! So, confess what's your trick anyhow, come on, or I will tickle you!!


Blessings,  \o/

My cats are calico, most calico cats like water. Sorry but I am not ticklish. ;D

Cause with out us it would be a lonely world. ;D

yadda, uh huh (whatever) ;D

;D

(A joke my daughter sent me that I just had to post for the nice ladies here. Please read the entire joke before you think about tearing my head off.)

Dear Friends,

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping  as they did when they were younger.

When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how my retiree, Bob, handled the situation.

Bob explains... "When I got laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessary for my wife, Nancy,  to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.

Now that she is older, she seems to get tired so much more quickly.  Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it.

Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.  This gives her little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.

Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to
offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any,
if you know what I mean.

When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the  yard. I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I  tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and
just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating  women can become as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile."

Bob's funeral was on Saturday, January, 25th, Nancy was acquitted Monday, January, 27th.

 ;D

I just love a happy ending!  ;D

ROFL!

Men are always whining about how us women are suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining, the noose is too loose!  ;D

Shylynne,

 ;D   ;D  My wife talks and I listen. I only whine when I know that I'm in trouble with her.   ;D

She usually just sends me to my room when I'm in trouble, but that's where I wanted to be anyway. Please don't tell her.   ;D

If women ruled the world.....everything would be clean.LOL ;D