ChristiansUnite Forums

Hi, I am new and looking for someone to tell me I am not crazy.  I am a stay at home mom and my husband is a police detective and army unit commander.  Recently I was told that flirting was an interview tactic to get people to tell information they may not otherwise.  If your husband came home and said sorry honey flirting and subsequently getting phone numbers is part of the job, would you not call BS on that one?  Then to make matters worse I found an email between him and a mutual female friend that ended each conversation with I love you babe, or I miss you babe.  I was upset and asked about it and he said it means nothing and it is just playful banter.  My thought is I put in the 16 years of hard work it took and still takes to make a marriage work, been through deployment caring for our kids, I want an exclusive I love you unless he is talking to his mother or something.  I was very hurt thinking he threw those words around so carelessly.  Am I overreacting or am I justified in my feelings, I am rather lost dont really have anyone to talk to about this stuff.

It is difficult to give appropriate advice over the internet. Such advice as this needs to be on a more one on one personal level. I strongly suggest that you get with your pastor. If you don't have a church then I suggest that you find one and get with the pastor of that church for counseling.

I agree with Pastor Roger, ahessig you do need to talk with a pastor, face to face.

Seeing this is your first post ahessig, welcome to Christians Unite forum.

I don't think he is being truthful. I would find out by asking his co-workers if it is true.

Welcome to the forums.

As Roger had mentioned it is difficult to give advice of this sort via the web. 

One thing I can honestly say is this.  You should be able to tell him that you do not appreciate the "banter" as he is calling it and wish it to stop.  It is inappropriate for a married man to tell any other woman other than family that he loves her in a personal communication.  There is a friendly Christian sort of love that can be spoken, but it is always quite obvious what was meant.  And you should be able to go to him and tell him that you do not like that and wish it to stop, and it should.

But there is so much other information that could be going on and like we said we really cannot cover everything via a forum or anything like that.  You need to seek out good Christian counsel and talk with them.

I would NOT go to co-workers and talk to them.  If they do not know what is going on then they do not need to know what is going on.  Because if you are wrong and you go and talk to people who are not involved, then rumors start.  And the Bible speaks quite clearly the damage that rumors cause.