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To make this long story short...my question is: How do I deal with the unsettling feeling that continually returns regarding not lining up 100% with the spiritual leaders in my church?  The topic:  homosexuality and same-sex marriage. 

Over the last year I've been in several discussions with my two pastors regarding this topic.  In a nutshell, Pastor #1 says, 'It may be a sin for you, but not for someone else" and that I am being judgmental by stating that my belief is that the act of homosexual sexual behavior is a sin and therefore, should not be done.  Pastor #2 says that she would willingly bless same-sex marriages if the bishop would allow it.  As he would not approve, and she would be "in trouble" for blessing such marraiges, she refrains.  However, she is becoming more vocal in small groups about her support of such relationships. 

I have read several books, watched documentaries, studied the Bible and prayed that the Lord would show me HIS TRUTH regarding this topic.   I continue to come up with the same answer.  When I shared this with Pastor #1, he said that perhaps I was not hearing God's voice, but my own.  I am starting to think that I cannot "come over" to their way of thinking.  Everything I read and reflect on, continues to point to homosexual sex as a sin.  After all, if everyone jumped on that bandwagon, our species would no longer thrive---granted, there are other ways to procreate, but look back at Creation before the Fall.  What was God's intention?  My opinion...one man, one woman.  Our "plumbing" is created the way it is for a purpose. 

My family and I joined this ELCA congregation two years ago.  My husband is on church council, participates in the contemporary choir, and has started a youth band.  I volunteer at Sunday school and helped start a women's Bible study.  We love our congregation, but both stand firmly in the belief that homosexuality is a sin.  We both believe that everyone should be welcomed at church---how else will they get to know the Lord and realize the wonderful gift of salvation if they aren't welcomed into God's family.   Since I've come to an understanding that my beliefs do not line up with my pastors, I've struggled with the notion of "Truth".  Shouldn't we be applying God's Truth from His Word to our lives, and not making God's Word say what we want it to say according to how we live our lives?

So....I'm hoping this will not turn into a debate on the topic of homosexuality.  I am seeking advice on how to handle the unsettled feeling I get regarding not being in agreement about what God's Truth is.  I love the people within my church and my pastors.  They are all wonderful people.  Of the handful of church friends that I've discussed this issue with, several are on the same page as I am, several are on the opposite page (ie, would fully support same-sex marriage and gay/lesbian pastors) and many (sadly) don't have an opinion.  They just go with the flow. 

I have attempted to focus on the people and to serve the Lord in Sunday school and the women's group.  However,  I continue to get that unsettling feeling whenever a point from our discussions comes up in a sermon message (i.e., in our discussions, Pastor #1 used the example of the woman at the well, stating that Jesus told the woman, "I love you, go and sin no more".  I then shared my understanding of that---in applying it to my life---to something along the lines of Jesus telling me to "Go and eat Twinkies no more...and then Jesus hands me a box of Twinkies".  That's the way I understand Pastor #1's logic in applying this to homosexuality.  Jesus tells the homosexual that He loves them and then the homosexual can go about living their lifestyle--not according to God's Word.  After my Twinkie comment, the Pastor said, "It's about standing WITH those who are ostracized in our society."  I said, "Yes, but do we let them think whatever they want regarding what God's Word says?  Do we justify their behavior just to make them feel loved?"  I don't think that is loving them.  That is enabling them.  Jesus wants us to live pure lives through Him.  It is through His power that we can overcome temptations in this life.   My pastors have not taken a stand in front of the whole congregation (i.e., during a sermon, they don't make bold statements specifically on this topic).  I believe that would cause major problems and the pastors (perhaps wisely?) are not doing that.  (Note:  our community has a very small gay/lesbian population).   

I look forward to your insights...and pray that the Lord will use one of you to bring clarity for me regarding this reoccuring issue.

Or the other way around ... he is not hearing God's voice and is serving to itchy ears.

There are procedures set up in scripture that we are to use to confront those in the church that are not abiding by God's word and this especially is in regards to those that are supposed to be leaders. It is of the utmost importance to arm yourself with the word of God prior to confronting any such situation.

Mat 18:12 - 17 applies to this situation.


The biggest display of love is to tell the truth in such matters. Do we show our love by allowing a blind person to aimlessly walk off of a cliff or in this case to allow a blind person to lead other blind people over that cliff?

If after confronting the situation as described in Mat 18 and the situation is not resolved then scripture tells us to "come out from among them, and be ye separate." Yes, it would mean giving up all the established positions that you have built there but is it not more important to serve the Lord in truth?

The act of homosexual is a sin.

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.


And you are 100% correct in your thinking there. Homosexual is a lifestyle, choice. Homosexuality is a sin, and your pastor can not find an easy way out. This is one of the reasons we are told to study the Bible.

And Pastor Roger is correct when he says Matthew 18:12-17, should be applied.

With the leaders of thousands of different religions and churches attempting to make their beliefs appear authentic, it behooves a person to carefully ascertain truth from error. In fact, many leaders of these faiths may call themselves "Christian" and even attempt to convert Christians into their churches.

Jesus Himself said in Matthew 7:15, "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." This is why John warned the believers in 1 John 4:1 to "believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." And 1 Thessalonians 5:21 adds, "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good."

Jesus told the Pharisees in Matthew 23:27 that they were "like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness."

Sermon messages are not always good, if they seem to be a popularity contest.

I  agree with Pastor Rogers statement, Your Pastor's are what's wrong in a lot of today's Church's, they don't preach the truth and the word like they should. We need to bring back that old fashion preaching. Its sad that this is happen to you  I would look for another place of worship, and if I am wrong by saying this to you God for give me.

Brothers and Sisters,

GOD'S WORD is completely CLEAR on these topics, and there is no debate - never has been. GOD'S WORD can't be twisted or stretched to mean anything else other than same sex behavior is an ABOMINATION in GOD'S Eyes. It was a death sentence offence in the Old Testament. The only thing that has changed in the New Testament is that we're no longer commanded to stone them to death immediately. However, we must remember HATE THE SIN - LOVE THE SINNER.

Politically correct pastors are doing a lot of damage these days to the LORD'S WORK. GOD hasn't changed, and men still don't want to hear what GOD says about the topics of today. Today hasn't changed either since men are still wanting to disobey GOD in the most outrageous ways. There IS NO COMPROMISE on these topics. One either decides to serve the devil and the flesh or GOD. It does boil down to being just this simple. Both the Old Testament and the New Testament are completely CLEAR in many portions of Scripture, and GOD is the SAME yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Men like to use "PC" talk and condemn Christians for judging. I have news:  GOD already made the JUDGMENT and it stands, so it isn't Christians making a JUDGMENT. Pastors of today who say otherwise are nothing but WOLVES in sheep's clothing serving the devil. This is GOD'S WORD, and HE warned us about this.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Revelation 21:1-6 NASB  Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He *said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true." Then He said to me, "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.

I agree - the Bible clearly teaches homosexuality is wrong. That doesn't make it a worse sin than adultery or fornication or any other sin, but it is a sin. Your pastors seem to be trying to please man rather than God and are interpreting Scripture in the light of popular culture rather than judging popular culture by Scripture.

No one is going to agree with their pastor 100%, but if the disagreement involves clear violation of Scriptural teaching, not just honest differences of opinion in areas that are not clearly spelled out, then you need to take a stand.

2Ti 2:24  And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
2Ti 2:25  In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
2Ti 2:26  And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

I had to leave a church 6 years ago that started to (and now totally) embraces the "gay" agenda.  Had attended that church for 20 years and it always had Bible preaching pastors until this last pastor came.

The situation became so pro-gay under his "leadership" that I finally left and when he unexpectedly phoned me one day, I told him why I was leaving.  I also told him it's a sin according to the Bible.  He said the gays were like the lepers of Jesus' day!!  Well, leporsy is a disease and extremely contagious....that's why they had to stay away from the regular people.  There is no comparison between practicing homosexuality (a sin) and being a leper!!

Anyhow, I felt in my spirit and my mind that I had to make a total break from that church....hard after 20 years but necessary.  You might have to do the same.

A final note:  that pastor that allowed this to happen in that church.  A few months ago he wrote everyone a letter that he is gay!!  (He was married with adult kids.)  If he would have had an affair with a woman, he would have been told that it was a sin.  But because he says he is "gay", those church members voted to keep him as their pastor!!!

I'm glad I left and I got my mother to leave as well about a year after I left there.