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This post is a response to a reply to me from B.E.P.which he made on the debate thread, in which he commented on the fact that I had recently gone through a very rough time...

Yes, I did go through the most horrific and difficult time of my life recently and I lost my way through anger and pain.
You know my dad’s body washed ashore a while back…that was difficult but at least he was found.
We all knew he was deceased through the months he was missing, but it’s a shock to see your own father in a body bag on TV.

My own sister turned my father against me with evil lies at a time when dad was a broken confused man right after Mom passed away.
My sister had always resented dad because he was not her father - he father and Mom were divorced when my sister was 13, and my sister always hated my dad because in her mind he stole her father’s wife and caused the split.
The truth is her father was a mean violent drunk who beat Mom many times over a seventeen year marriage.

My sister always hated my dad, except when she needed money - then she would  “love” him.

Right after mom died, I got a phone call from my sister telling me she couldn’t stand the thought of our late brother Jim’s wife and kids getting his share of the will, and asked if I would help her change mom and dad’s wills!! I almost snapped right there, and I made it clear that it was not only immoral and dirty, but also illegal and I warned her to never mention such foolishness to me ever again.

Later I found out she had broken into my dad’s metal box and read the will, so I decided to tell dad because I was truly worried my sister would make changes, or attempt to talk dad into making the changes she wanted.
I told dad, and he was very upset.

I made the mistake of informing my sister what I had done because I like things in the open and up front.
The last words she said…screamed, was “I’ll deny everything” then she hung up on me and immediately whipped up some tears and phoned dad to tell him about the “lies” I was making up.

I can only believe that Dad was so broken and so confused at that time that he actually believed her instead of me.
It really hurt because he was the only father I ever had. I was adopted at birth and he raised me from that time. We never had a serious outing before but this time he was livid and kicked me and my wife out of his home the last time I ever saw him.

He was going to sell his house and live with us, but after that he moved in with the one person on earth who really hated him, my sister!

I’ll skip the rest of that sad chapter but Dad never spoke to me again.

So…I became very angry. I tried to forgive my sister for her evil deception and also my dad for wrongly judging me…I mean he knew me, he knew I was an honest and moral person, he should have known I would never make up such a serious “lie” about even my worst enemy let alone my sister, so I became angry at dad as well. My attempts at forgiveness were partially successful at times but after a while I couldn’t stop thinking about it - I was not able to sleep for days and days on end, and I had to go on meds to sleep, but even that didn’t work very well.

I became more and more bitter. Then I got the call…dad snuck out of my sister’s house at approx 1:00am and disappeared. I had a great belief that after a short time living with my sister my dad would come to realize his mistake, and that’s what kept me going. I kept praying to God for that day to come, then this…

I knew right awy that Dad had gone to the lake just a couple of hundred yards away from the house and jumped through a hole in the ice…I knew it.

Now my anger, my pain, my bitterness was magnified many times over and I had a melt down.
I became unbearable to be around. I was never violent, but I was bitter.
I wanted some kind of revenge although I knew I was not the kind of man to actually go after revenge, and that actually made my situation more unbearable and so I ran.
I left my wife and sons and moved in with an old friend from my high school days thirty years prior.

I began to drink carry on like I did when I was a young idiot.
I embraced my anger…it became my constant companion.

God wasn’t listening to me all of a sudden and that scared me…I thought “If I die today, I’m lost because God has left me” I was gone for about a month before I began to come back to Jesus…it began slow at first with simple short desperate prayers to God expressing my forgiveness to my sister and dad.
Short but right from my soul, and then He returned and the light flooded back into my soul as it had never done before. My anger was demolished, my pain was destroyed and my soul was healed!!

I phoned my dear wife and she joyfully forgave me and drove about fifty miles that very night with our sons and foster daughter to pick me up and bring me home…I won’t share that phone conversation with you!
My own daughter from before I met my wife was also overjoyed that I had regained my senses!

Again, I’ll cut it short but to say I am a very happy and blessed man today. There’s no more anger, no more pain, no more bitterness…I am full of His love and light and I am renewed as never before.

It was difficult to share this much like I have, but how could I keep this testimony to myself?
God worked a miracle in my life, and He uses these real life moments to give hope to others who are going through there own hard times.

Praise His Holy Name! Amen!!

I would just add that all my friends who have been tirelessly praying for me are also a great part of this story because God listens to His faithful servants, and I know without any doubt that He was listening to these even when He was not listening to me!
Thank you my dear brothers and sisters!!

John

Brother, I am sorry to know that you had to go through all this but I am glad that you have shared it with us all. We are all frail human beings and will continue to be as long as we are in these fleshly bodies. We all will continue to have trials and tribulations no matter how close to God that we may be. It is such a wonderful thing to know that God is still there for us through it all even if we have turned our back on Him He will never leave nor forsake us. All we need to do is turn back around to Him. He will be there and He will help us through such times.

Brother, again I am happy to see you here with us and again thank you for sharing with us.

Hello Brother John,

You and your family have always been in my prayers, and that will continue until we see each other in heaven for Eternity.

Your testimony makes it clear that you were under attack in many ways. We can imagine how things were because you told us, but it would be hard to know how bad things really were unless we were standing in your shoes. The best we can really do is pray and trust GOD for the rest.

We have a monster thunderstorm about to hit us as I type with 70 and 80 mph winds. Radar indicates a massive line of storms like I've never seen, but it doesn't involve tornadoes yet. I mentioned this because it's a good comparison to the storms we will all face eventually in this short life. GOD is the answer to all kinds of storms. GOD can be the peace in the storm and the peace after the storm. I have more to say on this later, but I want to finish this message. The winds are hitting now, and I don't know if my connection will last.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Thank you Roger and thank you Tom - because I have no doubt that you have been praying for me, and that is a very important ingredient in this story, so God bless you and thank you!!
Bob as well!

I really am rejuvenated my brothers, God has blessed me wonderfully.
Recently I reconnected with one of my birth sisters...I have three birth sisters. I did have four but one passed away when she was nine after a kidney transplant many years ago. I never met her, as she was also adopted whereas the other three sisters stayed with birth mom and were horribly abused by a succession of birth mom's low life boyfriends.
Thank God I was adopted because I surely would have been in jail for murder because child sexual abusers boil my blood just from news reports, I can't imagine being around to see my own sisters being abused...anyway...

I have really made a wonderful connection with her - Linda, and I am looking forward to meeting the other two. One lives relatively close so I'll be meeting her - Leslie - soon. The other is Brenda, but she's on the other side of the country in B.C. I hope to call her on the phone as soon as her husband and her get back from business in Hawaii.

Linda is a Christian, so that was wonderful news!
I took our foster daughter to stay at Lind's home North of here for a weekend and we had a fantastic time! Linda has a horse so Samantha had a great time riding old Bill!!

I'm making plans to go back next weekend and i can't wait.

It feels so good not to have the huge weight of anger and bitterness hanging around my neck any longer!

John

Brother John,

What a terrible but yet wonderful testimony.  God let you go through that for a reason.  One you quite possibly may never know.  And we are to simply take heart that God is working something, and pray that it is something fantastic.

And what wonderful news about your birth sisters.  I truly hope that continues to be a blessing for you.

My wife was adopted at an early age. She didn't remember any of her family which was a good thing in some ways. She also found that there had been abuse in her family. It has meant a lot to her to have found and met all 8 of her siblings as well as her mother. Through this I can just imagine how wonderful a time that this is for you. A little ray of sunshine in a world of darkness. God does provide those things that we need.

Thank you brother. I believe God had a plan to rid me off all and any residual anger or bitterness I may have had in the past and through this expreience, or may have had in the future so I could serve him better. In any case He has really brightened up my spirits more than ever before!

John

My birth mom has mental issues...she plays head games with people so I'm not interested in any "mother/son" relationship with her...My true mom loved me very very much and never played any games...God rest her soul.

My sister is a wonderful gift from God and I have made a real connection, a soul connection with her, and I am looking forward to meeting the other two.

Thanks so much buddy!

John

Brother, I'm glad to see you've been able to forgive. Praise God for his wonderful gift, to us.

Glad to see you back on the forum brother.
Bob

Hello Brother John and All!

John, you have been through a horrible time, but it appears that GOD is blessing you now. I do firmly believe that trials can bring us closer to CHRIST and stronger in HIM.

Whenever we think about things like this, we should pray for the hosts of Christians who are currently being beaten, imprisoned, and killed for loving JESUS. I'm not trying to minimize any problems that any of us are going through, rather just remind us all that we still have many things to give thanks for. Sadly, I think that all of our trials are going to get worse before JESUS comes to take us HOME, but everything bad here will be nothing in comparison to the Promises of GOD for Eternity.

Brothers and Sisters, many of us might even be persecuted or worse for our Faith In JESUS CHRIST. If so, I hope we consider it to be an honor, and I pray that GOD will give us the strength and courage to testify about our LORD and SAVIOUR until the last moment we have on this earth. If we are to die for HIM - so be it - HIS Will be done! In all things, I pray that GOD will get the GLORY.

Love In Christ,
Tom

 

Thank you John for sharing your testimony.  And praise God that he walks through our storms with us!

As usual you have such a clear and concise grasp on things Tom.
Yes, God definately drew me so much closer to Him through this terrible time, and I honestly am healed of all the anger pain and bitterness, but I have also been lifted up.
I agree, events such as what I went through do make us realise we must do more to pray for persecuted and people who are in pain, or who are being challeneged in their faith...thank you for bringing this to light Tom.

Hello Bob. I can't respond to the messgae you sent me so I'm just going to post my e-mail here...

jbronzesnake@rogers.com
send me a message here then I'll send you my private e-mail address Bob, and whoever else needs it.

Thank you very much grammyluv for responding with gratitude toward my testimony.
It's a tough story to relate, but I believe our most painful testimonies are the most effective in many ways.

John