ChristiansUnite Forums

Hi, I am a new mother well not real new but a mother of an 8month 5 week baby girl shes wonderful and brings so much happiness to my life. My daughter is definetly the joy of my life and brings me so much happiness, I am currently in a relationship that is pretty much on the rocks, alot of things I just lied to or been lied to about with him. I use to be so on fire for God and see that my walk is diminshing day by day Itry and try but only to be disouraged,I think alot of the times I am my worse enemy, My fiance excepted God in his life, but he's not walking it out, he barely ever attends church I found being with him trying to stay focused and on trakc feels like its pointless, only to not get a partner who can help you along the way becomes discourgaing. I feel like I was holding my self accountable for just my walk, and then trying to help him with his, we've had differences of oppionion with premaritial sex, and now you can see I have a wonderful baby, and living before were married. I feel like all this is a punishment to me disobeying God, and because of this, I have to continue to suffer, at times I feel like God is loving and also brings about this guilt along with, we know whats right and wrong and if we dont do what he says then we bring this humilty of shame and hurt and frustration because we've disobeyed him, At times i feel like Job, when I was doing things right I was getting hit left and right, and then tare of my clothes and want to beat myself silly, because I just dont understand.At times I feel like whats the point of me tryin to serve the lord if I am going to only disobey him, why even cry and ask for forgivenss only to sin against him. I just recentl ypostponed my wedding, because my relationship is not what I ever intended, theres promises and promises made on his end but no change, I feel like I am the only person taking responsibilty for this relationhsip and trying new things only for them to be suppressed I feel like my only out will be just to mive out and maybe somethings will make sense out of all this, and maybe the guilt of sin and just not doing right will make things better. I am really out all hope and faith for my relationship and even at times wonder if I will ever be the person I once was before I got here. Any help or advice will be great

Hello Samaritan Woman, I am happy to welcome you to CU Forums.

I can tell by your post that you already understand and realize that all the strife and unhappiness going on in your life is due to the fact that both you and your fiancee are living contrary to God's Word.

Sister forgive me for being so blunt, but when it comes to the Word of God we have to walk according to His will and not our own. You mentioned that you postponed your wedding, I would suggest that either you or he move out of the house and that you give your life and your relationship with this young man entirely to God.
I can tell that you believe that you are living in sin. We cannot be blessed by God and continually sin the same sin from minute to minute. We must repent and turn around and let go and let God.

Yes God forgives us of our sins, His mercy is new everyday, BUT we have to come to the understanding that we can't just ask God to forgive us and turn around the very next second and continue to do the very same thing we are asking Him to forgive us for.

We have to be strong ask God to forgive us and then STOP doing the wrong thing. God will not go against His Word.

If you feel this relationship is what God wants for you than you should separate, live separately and get some marriage counseling, and pray about the marriage, and follow God's leading. God loves you and your baby and wants the very best for you. If this man is not the man God wants for you, believe me He will take care of you and your baby until the man He wants for you will come along.

I love you in the Lord and I am sorry if I am being a little to blunt with you, but I can tell that you already know all this.

I am praying for you that you will do the right thing that God will bless you and your baby, and that you will make the choice God wants for you.

Love in Christ,
Maria.

Hello SW,

WELCOME!


I sincerely hope that you enjoy Christians Unite.

Regarding advice, I think that you've already considered the answers that would be right in my opinion:  Go back to GOD, pray for forgiveness, rededicate your life to CHRIST, keep praying, and follow the convictions and leading of the Holy Spirit living in your heart. Regardless, the child is a gift given to you by GOD, and your prayers should be for both of you. I hope this isn't too blunt, but this is what I felt led to tell you. Pray and see what GOD tells you.

Love In Christ,
Tom

 

What they said.

SW I could not say it any better.  Do not go into anything with any sort of presumptions.  If you follow the advice given here you do not go into a "separation" with the pre supposed thought of separating, or even joining in marriage.  You leave that to God.  You go into a separation with the knowledge that what we do is right according to God's will as He has put in HIs book.

Hi Sw,

First of all let me say Welcome to Christians Unite forum. It is clear that you not only want advice but spiritual support. All of us here will be happy to support  in prayer all involved in this situation. As for advice it looks like you already have plenty of that and from what you have written it appears that you already know what needs to be done.

I hope that you will continue to join us here in Christian fellowship and to keep us updated on this situation so that we will clearly know how to continue in prayer for you all.

Hello and:



(http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b207/tinabaran/JESUSwelcome.gif)

Hello SamritianWomen,  and welcome to Christians Unite forum.  The advice given here to you is excellent advice sister. I'll be praying for you, and pray you follow that advice.

Dear Girl,

You are a child of God! You belong to HIM! Yes you have sinned so have we all. Your sin does not mean you belong to this man. You are not bound to spend your life in misery.  From your words you know….. You know there is no hope in this man… our only hope is in HIM… You know you should cut your losses. Could it be you think you have burned bridges and have no where to turn for help?   Pride can cause much grief….

You know what you should do You know what is right   Step out if faith. Trust in the One who has never lied to you. The One who has promised to never leave you or forsake you .   Hope is in HIM

First off I wish to welcome you to the forum. My heart goes out to you after reading of your trials and hardships in living your life with a man who has brought you so much pain and mistrust. You have been given lots of good advice in the posts above, but I am looking at taking this a step further. Having been in said relationships I know  how difficult it is to take a step back and look at your life and decide how best to proceed. I would suggest you find a counselor of whom you feel comfortable with, who will be able to help you sort through your emotions. Also get some quiet time alone and get down on your knees in humble reverence of our Lord and pour out your heart to him and ask for forgiveness. He is there waiting for you, He has never left your side for one moment. He has been waiting for you to realize just how much you need him in your life. Then and only then, plan on how you can manage alone if this relationship is not worth saving. Remember you have a baby who is depending on you which makes it so very important that you know you have a home and income. If this man truly loves you, some counseling for the both of you may bring him back to the person you fell in love with. If you can not manage to live separately house wise, do you have an extra bedroom that would provide the separation in sleeping arrangements, giving you time to figure out the necessary plans for your future.
Please remember all of us on this forum are here if you need some guidance and encouragement along the way.