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I think my husband is addicted to porn, or maybe it is something more. I go to sleep around 10 pm and he stays up sometimes till 4 in the morning. I have woke up several different times and caught him looking at porn on the internet. I also think he is chatting with someone but I do not know who. The last time he said that he was talking to a guy from work. What can I do. A little history about me. I had breast cancer about 3 years ago and had surgery but the Dr just took the lump out. I had chemo & radiation which has made me not really interested in a lot of sex. We have been married for 8 years. I feel betrayed. He has said that he has been saved and baptized.

I know, I'm not allow be here but.... Your husband MIGHT VERY LIKELY addicted to porn because I'm admit that I'm porn addicted as well, I been porn addicted for over 10 years(I'm still endure, thought).Is hard to endure Porn addicted.
 If your husband says is true then he must be shame and feel little(or worse) guilty after he did his "thing" or view porn.

OR he maybe he just miss having "love" with you. (AHH! I don't want get ban for this)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/Pizza_Al/emotions/nonono.gif)


How I become porn addicted? Since I was 4 or 5 year old, my family show me a porn video and It got worse, is when my so-called "friends", they show me porn at my age of 6 or 7 year old.

Yup, i got bad childhood(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/Pizza_Al/emotions/sic.gif)

Anyway I pray for you and your husband. I don't know what your husband name, but I just say help "LisaR husband" if you don't mind.

Edit-Note to Pastor Roger, Please don't ban me! I just trying to help(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/Pizza_Al/emotions/imc.gif)

Hi Lisa.  I'm sorry to hear about your husband's apparent addiction to porn.  We must all pray that he will be convicted of this and that he will seek to discontinue this behavior.  I am trying to be delicate here....but the Bible does say that Christian husbands and wives should fulfill each other's "needs" in marriage.  Sometimes couples take a time apart for prayer, but should come together again so they are not tempted sexually in other ways.

Can you try talking to your husband in Christian love about his possible addiction and about how your treatments affected you?  Try to give him your love more....perhaps then he will be able to conquer this addiction and break off any wrong attachment he may have with someone in "chat rooms".  God bless and keep us updated, Lisa.



Pizza Mahal, I'm very sorry that you had the awful experience of being exposed to porn at such a young, innocent age.  I wish that you never had to go through those bad experiences.  My heart goes out to any child that has to endure any evil, especially evil inflicted on him or her from adults.

I pray that you will seek to break this porn habit with the Lord's help.  Remember your past is all washed clean through the blood of Christ.  I pray that you will try to resist this temptation the next time.  Keep resisting each time and eventually you will be free, with God's help.

God bless you and give you a strong desire for His holiness, to fill your whole being.  In Jesus' name, amen.

LisaR, I'll be praying for you, and your family.

Pizza Al you won't get banned for being in the womens area.  We have had some women post in the mens area.

Pizza Al, have you read the book of James 1, in your Bible?  If not, James 1 is asking God for wisdom against temptation.

We have talked about the treatments and what they have done. He knows about all of that. I want to and try to be more loving. It does not make any difference. We can make love one night and he is on the internet the next. He lies about it all the time, he will not admit that he is looking at the porn or chatting with someone. It is very hard for me to make love when I feel like he is compairing me to the women that he is looking at or thinking about them when he is making love to me. I do not know what to say to him that would make any difference. Thanks every one and Bless all of you. Pizza Mahal it is a good thing to hear the man's point of view. Sorry about your past. I pray that God helps you and blesses you.

Thanks for explaining, Lisa.  I'm sorry....we all really need to pray for him to be convicted of this sin and that he will realize that true beauty is what is inside of a woman.  There are many "beautiful" women on the outside that are ugly on the inside.

Oh LisaR, I am so sorry. I will pray for your husband. I am married to a non-believer who is easily addicted to allot of things (alcohol, gambling). It is very frustrating, but I can't imagine going through that. How heart breaking. If he is willing to change, get rid of the computer all together. THROW THE THING AWAY!!! It might stink to have to write checks again but if it works who cares? We got along just fine without them 100 yrs ago, if you need one for work, get a lap top and bring it with you wherever you go.
 It is hard to submit to your husband especially when you are so hurt and angry. I am sure you have done this but try praying over him while he is sleeping. I will pray for you, God can move mountains.
God Bless,

It is very hard to be married to an unbeliever..There are consequences and the consequences are harder than others since it involves marriage which is a union that makes two people one and a house divided cannot stand...No one can change a person but the Lord and all one can do is pray and to trust the Lord with what you know only he can do...There is no time limit on when God will answer your prayer but he will in His time...Until then...a wife is to be a wife that loves her husband..for better or worse...and to love the spouse enough to know it is sin that is at work in the person for the person does not know the Lord and will act lost for he or she is lost...and in knowing this..to have compassion and to pray for your spouse and never give up praying and above all walk the talk...
I pray the Lord will give you compassion..wisdom...and strength as you pray down the strongholds...I will be praying for you and your husband...

LisaR, did you know you can actually block what he views online?  Depending on what kind of internet source you use, there are different ways around this.  You will initiate a password and you will be the only one to be able to use it or change it.  You will have to do a little research to review the sites he needs to view on a regular basis like maybe yahoo news or any of his online banking he might do, then you can give full access to the sites you and your family need while those that do not have a rating or have a bad rating will be blocked requesting a password. 

I too have been on the receiving end of lovings from a porn addict.  I have read books and looked at sites trying to figure out if it is me or if it is him.  The truth is, this sin lies on your husband alone.  Do NOT try to take the blame or be held accountable for HIS sins.  I do believe that in marriage you both must be held accountable as you are one flesh in the eyes of God, however, if you are fully willing to submit to your husband and have informed him of this, you are doing all you can.  I know there are two sides to every story and I can not say that I have been fully pristine in God's eyes (as we are not married) however, if you truly take a look at yourself and discover yourself within God you will be able to do nothing but pray for your husband.  I heard once to pray for a wreath of thorns; so that when he attempts to do those things that are bringing him pleasure in a sinful nature, he will get hurt.  As much as we don't wish pain upon any of those we love, sometimes we need to help them with lessons.  After the wreath of thorns, ask for a wreath of protection so that once he finally can stop, the temptation won't return.  There is nothing worse than going back to a sin after you've defeated it.

I will pray for you and your husband.  I also pray for your health and emotions.

Be very careful in asking for a "Wreath of Thorns" as the Lord may do so for your own sins. It is better to ask that the Lord open their eyes to what they are doing to themselves and to their loved ones and to have mercy on them in helping them to overcome their temptations.

I will not ask for a wreath of thorns. I do not want anything bad to happen to anyone. I have taken the computer out of the room, I still have one in the living room. I do not think that he will get on it and do anything like that because I am in there. We will see what happens now. I am praying. Thank You For Your Prayers and Please continue Praying!!

"Be very careful in asking for a "Wreath of Thorns" as the Lord may do so for your own sins."

What is the use in helping others if we ourselves can not admit our own sins and ask that God help us to overcome them?  Even if it is as harsh as this?  If you're not willing to ask for your own wreath, then you should not be willing to ask for another to have one.

Again I say it is better to ask that the Lord open their eyes to what they are doing to themselves and to their loved ones and to have mercy on them in helping them to overcome their temptations. It is better to ask for positive results rather than to ask for ill-will to befall a person. Yes, we must pray for forgiveness of our own sins and His power to overcome them but we should not do so in a manner that asks for such a thing as a wreath of thorns.

Praying for a wreath of thorns is to pray for them to be tormented as Jesus Christ was when we should be praying that people (us included) should be protected from tempatations and sin and given power through Him to overcome them.

Hello Lisa, I don't believe that I have had a chance to welcome you to the forum yet. So I want to take that opportunity now. I pray you will find support and help here and that you will continue to visit us often.

Lisa pornography is a very evil stronghold, it is an addiction it is evil and it comes straight from satan himself.

First of all Lisa please do not blame yourself for your husband's behavior. Next do not allow his behavior to come between you and God, remember all your strength for you, your health, spirituality, well being and even for helping your husband is dependent on God and only on God.

Stand strong and pray for your husband to be able to break this addiction. You have every right as a wife and as a saint to stand in the gap in prayer for your husband, your marriage, and faithfulness from your husband.

Pornography is all over the place, men and even women are addicted to it and especially those that are married know how wrong it is, they are just as frustrated as you feel when you think about what your husband is doing. They also feel a tremendous amount of guilt even though they manage to talk themselves into believing that "it's not that bad"..... they are sadly mistaken.

I suggest that you speak to your husband about how you feel, pour out your feelings let him know how you feel about everything, don't leave anything out, let him know how God views it, and then just pray. He might make a lot of excuses to justify himself, he might tell you it has nothing to do with you, he might say it's nothing but pictures, etc etc he is in denial......just as any other addict whether it be gambling, drinking, drugs or any other addiction....

You must first realize that you cannot change your husband, only God can do that.
You probably also need to refer to someone who you will be able to talk to face to face who can pray with and for you, and that person might be your Pastor or Minister at your church. Do not stay angry at your husband..it may be hard but.. ask God to help you to be able to forgive him and help him. Do not hide bitterness, and do not look at yourself as any less of the beautiful woman you are.

There is a book that was written especially for women. the title of this book is The Power of A Praying Wife, by Stormie O'Martian. This book contains many treasures that will not only help you, but will teach you how to pray for all things that involve your husband, and your marriage as well.

In the meantime I am praying for you Lisa and for your husband, and don't give up with God all things are possible.

Love in Christ,
Maria

To pray for one who is bound in addiction is to pray God's will for the person and God's will is for the person to be saved..to have rightstanding with the Father throught Jesus Christ...to pray curses will only prolong the will of God for that person and not to mention the very curse you pray on a spouse is also on you as you are one...The word tells us to pray without ceasing...we are to trust the Lord with what we give to Him in prayer...

Amen!

I had the same problem with my husband for a while...it's just so weird though...he came from a christian background..I mean for heaven sake..his father was a minister and mother a missionary! I am taking my time working with him on creating a Christian lifestyle and family for ourselves...so far it is working. No porn for three weeks!

OK it has been a couple of years since I posted anything about this. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. He did go up in church and ask for forgiveness. We have been going to church for at least 9 out of the 10 years that we have been married. But guess what a couple of weeks later he was right back at it. He is not only a porn addict he is also a gotcha21 addict. I said something to him and he said he was sorry. Well this continued back and forth like this for some time and then I said something to him about it but he only denied it and tells me that I am accusing him of things that he has not done. Well I chose to let it go and started ignoring all of his doings. Last Friday there was a picture that I saw that he took of himself and sent it to I know of at least 1 woman. Probably more but I was just so shocked that I could not look anymore. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I told him that I was just about at the end of my rope with us. So he left but I wish he had not left. He said that he left because it sounded like I wanted him to. He went to his mothers that lives about 700 miles away. He is telling me that he is going to get some kind of counseling. But how do I deal with this. I do not know what to do, what to think or how I should feel. I am very hurt, angry, and embarrassed, my feelings are so all around that I am not even sure if I love him anymore. How do I figure out what I am feeling and how do I deal with it. I have told no one about any of this except on here.

I think that it is way past time for you and your husband to get counseling and I don't mean on the internet. Internet counseling is not very effective. It should be with a good Christian counselor and it should be face to face with them.

I wish we could find one. I have searched for a nearby Christian Counselor but I have not had any luck finding one. It seams like no one wants to deal with this problem or act's like there is not a problem.   

Have your pastor look for you as well.  Most pastors have many references and "hook ups" with counselors and even with counselors that do not advertise but simply run off of references. 

There are some churches that also have counseling services, especially for marriage counseling. One of the best programs that I have seen for addictions of any kind is called 'Reformers Anonymous'. This is an excellent program to attend even if you don't have any serious addictions. It is also helpful to attend if you have a family member that is addicted.

The following link can help you find an RU near you:

http://www.reformu.com/resources/chapter-locator.html

Hi I would like to join in on this  postings.  My husband has had an addiction to porn  all most all of our married life he has been in and out of it for the past 20 years.  for 18 years of it I did not know anything about it.  I have read a lot of information about this addiction.  This is nothing about the wife it has all to do with the man or the person who has the addiction.  When one has an addiction it does effect a lot of different people (family wife children etc).  RU is a great program for all types of addictions.  I have been going to a local chapter for year and half.  It has help me over and over.  My husband is now in in house treatment program with another group.  That is where he choose to go.  Like Pastor Rogers has said RU is great. Reformer Unanimous is Biblical based and you learn a lot of scripture and lot of Christian principles.  Just go on line and you can fine a chapter close to where you are and if you can't they have it every Friday night on line.  Christian counseling is very hard to find and you need someone who has knowledge with porn addiction because it is an addiction that needs specialize knowledge in it.  You have to realized this has nothing to do with you and you can not fix it.  God has to get a whole of your husband heart and your husband has to see this as it is.  He is probably in denial and does not want to recognize it as what it is.  Porn or a sexual addiction does not get better without some type of intervention.  It needs to come from a Godly man who can tell you dear Husband that he needs help.  One thing that I can do he pray for you and your husband.  I hope I have not cross the lines here I am new to this and if you want more information you can look up my email and I will be happy to help you find some help if I can.

Hello Hope,

No, you didn't go to far in your post. It was just fine and I'm glad that you joined in on it.

We highly recommend that you keep your email address listed as private. There are way too many scams and other illicit activities on the internet that love to get a hold of email addresses and fill them with garbage. This is the reason that I gave a link to one of the RU web sites above.

RU is in fact a great program and I'm glad to hear that it has helped you. The people implementing this program do so in a very discreet manner because they are very concerned about others and definitely show the love of God. It is such a great program that I highly recommend it to those that may not have a known addiction of any sort. It can definitely help all in their walk with Him.

Hello Hope and All,

I echo Pastor Rogers' advice to keep your email address private and hidden. I also echo his other advice about this addiction.

The Internet is many times the worst source that feeds this addiction, and it's also a place for all kinds of scams and con games to get help on this addiction. The best help for this addiction is always in person and with highly skilled Christian counselors. One of the best first steps might be to turn the Internet completely off for good. There are armies of people on the Internet trying to get others hooked on pornography on the Internet because of the huge sums of money involved. They could care less about destroying homes and marriages with their filth. The name of their game is to give away enough to get someone hooked - money and the devil takes over from there. I firmly believe that GOD is the only real answer for this and many other addictions. So, skilled Christian counselors are the absolute best in my opinion.

Love In Christ,
Tom

1 Corinthians 6:17 KJV  17  But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

Praise God everyone!

Lisa, as stated by others, pornography is a very strong demon, but NOT stronger than the power of the ALMIGHTY GOD!

Eph. 6: 10:18 verses states:
[10] Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
[11] Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
[12] For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
[13] Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
[14] Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
[15] And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
[16] Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
[17] And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
[18] Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

Also, Lisa, I strongly believe when dealing with a strong hold such as this kind, we must fast & pray as often as needed for our love ones & our self as well.

Matt. 17:21
[21] Howbeit this kind goeth NOT OUT but by prayer and fasting.

I do agree with counseling as well. Yahshua (Jesus) said  Faith & Works"!

Jas. 2:18-20
[18] Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.
[19] Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.
[20] But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?  We will continue to pray for your husband's deliverance on our prayer line.  GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!