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My husband and i have been taking care of an infant since he was 2 monts old..He is now a year old and we plan to adopt him...His brother Andrew who is now 3 was recently put in our care..Andrew is very hard to handle and does not talk nor does he interact with other children...he does not recognize his brother and can be very mean to him..I spend the day coping with him with often 3 rage holds a day...He is always angry and i understand why as it is very hard for any child that age to be thrust into a different home...Please pray that he will stop hurting himself and that he will allow us to love him and work with him until he returns to his father...He needs so much care that I am exhausted from working with him since he has to be watched 24-7...and he is so jealous of the baby..Please pray for us...

Maryjane, I'll be praying for you, Andrew and your family.

Maryjane, I'm praying for you, Andrew, and your family.

My prayers are with you all daily.

I will be praying for your family, Andrew, and it sounds like Andrew's father.

Maryjane, I have been thinking of you all and praying, too.  Just wondered....has Andrew been to any sort of specialist about his extreme behavior?  Perhaps he feels unwanted (or thinks he is)?  I know love (as you will give him, knowing you from your posts) will help him.  It's so sad when situations happen that can affect a child so badly....perhaps he is also upset because his brother will be adopted and Andrew won't be?  Hoping your love and kindness will get through to Andrew as well as our prayers.

Maryjane, God bless you for opening your home and your heart to these children.  May the Lord give you the strength you need to deal with this difficult situation, and may He comfort Andrew and make him receptive to your kindness, and ease his troubled mind.  My prayers are with all of you.

Thank you so much for praying for us...My husband will be going home from the hospital today..He has to stay with his father as it would be very hard for him to recover here at home due to Andrews behavior....

I am praying Andrew will be cooperative during the 3 months we will spend without my husband being at home...I am also praying he will not be mean to the baby...He wants all the attention and it is very hard to give him all the attention when there is another child in the home...Andrew is loved but no matter how much attention he is given it is not enough and will hurt the baby..hit himself..bite himself...go into rages until he is the focal point of all the attention..It is very hard but we are praying and we are so thankful for those that are praying...

I must have missed something or my memory is failing me. I don't remember anything about your husband being in the hospital. Sister, my prayers are definitely with you in this situation. I have you and your family on my prayer list for daily prayer.

Maryjane, I didn't realize your husband was ill either.  I pray he will recover soon.

About Andrew:  Maybe you should try this....(of course protect the baby) but ignore Andrew's rages.  He is getting what he wants by going into rages and will continue to do this for that reason.  Give him plenty of attention while he is behaving and try to make him feel a part of helping with the baby.  But try ignoring his rages.....hopefully, when he doesn't get attention by throwing them, he will start to behave better.

If he continues to throw these rages and bite/hit himself, you might contact a counselor about his behavior.

Hello Maryjane,

I will also be praying for you and your family. I'm also guilty of not knowing your husband was in the hospital, so I will add that to my prayer list. The prayer list gets pretty large these days. I simply know that GOD loves to hear our prayers, and HE does whatever HE wishes in Heaven and on earth. HIS Will is perfect for us, and HIS Love never fails.

Love In Christ,
Tom


 

Steve had knee replacement surgery and two doctors operated on him..there was complications and because he has to take medication for high blood pressure along with the shots for blood clots and other medication due to the operation, it is best he does not come home to a stressful invironment...Steve will be staying with his father for 3 months..I will be working with Andrew..CPS will not take him out of the home and feels it is best that I do whatever it takes to help Andrew...The plan made for Andrew with CPS is that he is the center of the home that he is to have all his needs met..ahead of the rest at home..I am to take stress management and coping classes to help him and I have never been stressed nor have ever needed coping skills..and due to this...the child knows he can do whatever and it makes it even harder..Each time he has rages...he knows it will bring attention to him and if there is no attention to him...he will bite himself..throw things and try to tear the curtians down...No amount of love and holding him keeps him from the rages....I am trusting God for the wisdom to help this child..I know that God hears the cries of his people and holds each child close..I know good will come out of this somehow...Thank you for keeping us in your prayers..

CPS needs some classes themselves.....catering to Andrew's rages, etc, will only make them worse in my opinion.  (In my day, a swat or two on the butt would soon stop this behavior, too.)   It's like one of my cats....she would bite my ankle when she wanted fed....so I made it a point not to feed her then.  Now she is not biting my ankles!  Too bad CPS won't let you use your own good common sense and wisdom...they are making things worse!

I will pray for this situation.  I know that kids are so easily influenced at such a young age.  Whatever he gets in his mind right now is going to effect the rest of his life.  I pray that he will see how much he is loved.

Maryjane, how is Andrew coming along lately?  I hope he is doing better.  How's your husband recouperating?  Hope you are well, too.

Sister anything new on Andrew??

Hello Maryjane, I don't think I ever met you or welcomed you to CU as I was out dor several months. I sincerely welcome you and as you can already see this is a wonderful Christian fellowship where you will become like family to us.

We are a very strong praying group  and I do want you to know that I too am praying for you in all your circumstances. You have gotten some very good advice from many of our members and they as well as I are very concerned.

I want to first of all give you the honor you deserve for opening your home to Andrew and his younger brother. This must be very very trying and exhausting for you. But I believe that you are strong enough to be able to handle Andrew and all your daily challenges, because you can do all things through Christ Jesus Who strengthens you.

Perhaps there might be someone from your church who can come out and spend a little time with you helping you out be it once a day or once a week. Many people face many trials in many different ways, we have no idea what Andrew might have gone through. Love never hurts if you show him as much love as you show his younger brother, and of course always set aside a few minutes for him as he seems to be a special needs child, you will be able to help him and God has a wonderful reward for you.

I know I got 2 children when they were 7 and I was disabled, they had a very hard life and only in the last couple of years they have opened up to me and felt loved and are even able to give hugs and say 'I love you' They are a treasure to me now, I've had them for 8 years, and they love me as if I was their own mom and I love them as I love my own biological children.

I must admit though and I am ashamed about it. I wanted to give up and throw in the towel and just give up.... But thank God I didn't, today I look at them and I am so proud of them.. and I wonder what would have happened to them if I had given up. They were only 7 years old I have a 7 year old grand daughter and I thank God that her life has been filled with love and joy.

God will give you strength and I am praying for you.

Dear Brothers and Sisters..

Thank you for praying for Andrew..Please continue to pray for him...I took him to the doctor and the doctor said he has to be on meds..I could not give any permission for him to be given the medication and I was told I had to let CPS give the authority...Since I am not the parent and had no legal guardianship...there was nothing I could do..I have been so hurt over this...After CPS took Andrew..they did not take him back to the doctor..nor did they put him in speech therapy..nor in school for children with learning disabiities..CPS however put him in daycare since he is with foster family and Andrew bit a child badly and was taken back to the doctor due to rages...The doctor got very angry at CPS and had Andrew put in special foster care that monitors him and works with children like Andrew..Please pray we can see Andrew soon...He was suppose to go with his mother's sister who has older children since the doctor said he has to be with older children...but has not been taken yet...I have called repeatedly to see him and have not been given the chance yet..Also..please pray the doctor will not give him drugs he does not need..I hurt that my hands are tied..but I know God's hands are never tied and are always on us..

Thank you so much...

Maryjane

Thank you for the up-date on Andrew sister.  Yes I will continue to pray for him.

Hello MaryJane,

I'm sorry to hear about the continuing problems. Andrew will remain in my prayers.

I'm aware of problems in many states with services for children because of huge case loads, and the same is true for services for the elderly. Most of them mean well and try hard, but it is common for them to be grossly understaffed. Their layers of red tape don't help either. I'll also be praying for you.

Love In Christ,
Tom

My prayers continue for you and Andrew in this.

Yes, thanks, Maryjane, for the update on Andrew.  The Lord be with him and all concerned.