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Hello

I would really appreciate the prayers of anyone who reads this.  I am really struggling through life right now.  I have let myself go.  This has been going on for the past few months.  I feel like everything I do just puts me farther and farther away from God.  I am trying so hard, and I have been praying about it but I just can't get through it.  I feel like my prayers aren't being heard.  I don't know what else to do.  My grades are dropping, my performance at work is slacking, I am starting to backslide, and I have just developed a sour "don't care" attitude.  I just don't seem to care anymore.  Then a couple of weeks ago I figured out that the one person on earth that I thought I could trust with anything, might not be as trustworthy as I thought.  I might be wrong about that though.  I usually talk to my pastor about stuff but I guess I am just afraid of what he'll think of me.  I don't want him to look down on me and think that I don't need to be teaching.  I love teaching but that may be the case.  Maybe I should just step down for a while.  I am just so confused and lost and I would be so thrilled if someone would just pray for me.  And any advice would be appreciated too.  I just don't think I can go on acting like everything is ok anymore.

mJc

Sister, yes I will pray for you. 

MJC, you may be feeling lost or far from God can be caused by guilt. If we are acting in ways that we know are sinful and wrong.  This causes a barrier to come between us and God.  If this is the case, you need to confess your sins to God and change your ways.  If you prayed to receive Jesus as your Savior and truly meant it, God has forgiven all your sins and has guaranteed that you have the gift of eternal life in Heaven with God forever. You need to believe God's Word and what he says regardless of your feelings. We are saved by faith in God and not by our feelings.

Here are a few verses for you to ponder............

Backsliding
Psalm 51:1-19

1 HAVE MERCY upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!

3 For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.

4 Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment.(A)

5 Behold, I was brought forth in [a state of] iniquity; my mother was sinful who conceived me [and I too am sinful].(B)

6 Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.

7 Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean [ceremonially]; wash me, and I shall [in reality] be whiter than snow.

8 Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice.

9 Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness and death, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness (Your rightness and Your justice).

15 O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

16 For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering.(C)

17My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

18 Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then will You delight in the sacrifices of righteousness, justice, and right, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering; then bullocks will be offered upon Your altar.

1 John 1:4-9 And we are now writing these things to you so that our joy [in seeing you included] may be full [and your joy may be complete]. 5 And this is the message [the message of [promise] which we have heard from Him and now are reporting to you: God is Light, and there is no darkness in Him at all [no, not in any way]. 6 [So] if we say we are partakers together and enjoy fellowship with Him when we live and move and are walking about in darkness, we are [both] speaking falsely and do not live and practice the Truth [which the Gospel presents].  7 But if we [really] are living and walking in the Light, as He [Himself] is in the Light, we have [true, unbroken] fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses (removes) us from all sin and guilt [keeps us cleansed from sin in all its forms and manifestations]. 8 If we say we have no sin [refusing to admit that we are sinners], we delude and lead ourselves astray, and the Truth [which the Gospel presents] is not in us [does not dwell in our hearts]. 9 If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action].

Hello MJC,

Fiirst, I say AMEN to what Dreamweaver has told you. I will also be praying for you.

We all have our ups and downs as Christians. Sometimes, those bad feelings are the HOLY SPIRIT trying to convict us to do any number of various things:  1- stop doing something that we know is wrong;  2- yield to the LORD in something HE wants us to do; 3- take a different path - whatever the LORD wants.

Sister, you don't have to trust other people - trust in GOD. Pray and ask GOD what HE wants for you. Pray for forgiveness for anything that's on your conscience. Wait upon the LORD without being anxious. Pray some more and study your BIBLE while you wait on the LORD. GOD many times gives us answers directly out of HIS WORD, so this is one reason why studying our BIBLES is so important. In the meantime, know that we will be praying for you also.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Proverbs 2:6 NASB  For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Hebrews 12:1-2 NASB  Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Matthew 5:14-16 NASB  "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden;  nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.  "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Hi mJc, From your other posts, it sounds like you have been going through alot.  Remember the story of Elijah when he fled from Jezebel after great things, and Elijah rested by the brook and was provided for by God?   Perhaps you need to take a little time aside and just rest in the Lord.  The Lord God loves you and knows your heart....He knows the prayer of your heart, even when you feel like He can't hear you.  God knows your heart even when you don't have any words.  Also, remember that we are accepted as righteous through Christ. 1 John 1:9

Of course, like the others mentioned, first make sure you have confessed any known sin and don't be led by your feelings.  If your pastor is an understanding person, maybe you should talk things over with him?

You are loved here, let us know how you are doing.  God bless.

Hi mjc,

You have some wonderful advice here already and are definitely have our support.

Sister, we all get overwhelmed with the things of this world at times. We sometimes get such a busy schedule going that we sometimes find ourselves not having any time for our own health and that includes our spiritual health. It is very important that we take time daily to be with Jesus, asking for forgiveness, praising and thanking Him for what He has done in our own lives, asking Him for His help and guidance in the things that we do.

I, too, have been and will be praying for you.

Hi MJC, You have already received excellent advise from others.  I just want to reiterate that you are never alone, as long as you have Jesus.  You have His promise that He will never leave you nor forsake you.   Put all of your faith and trust in the Lord.  My prayers are with you.

Heb 13:5
Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.   

Thank you for all of your prayers.  I think I wrote that post on a Tuesday.  On Wednesday of that week I finally broke down and talked to my pastor about the situation.  Since then I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.  He prayed with me and we talked for a while.  I try to be a very independent person and handle things on my own.  I think that this situation was also to show me that I can't do everything on my own and that God can use other people to help me, such as my pastor or other trusted people.  I think it all may have been a test.  But it seems to be over, school is out now, which will relieve a lot of stress and I made A's on all of my finals at school.  I guess it was just a trial.  Thank you all for the prayers and advice.

mJc

You're most welcome, sister. It is a privilege to be able to pray for others.

Congratulations on your school finals. That is certainly a job well done.

Hello MJC,

I'm very happy to hear that things are going better for you now. Sister, please remember that every trial that a Christian faces in this life can result in a closer and stronger relationship with JESUS CHRIST. When we are weak, HE is always strong. SO, many of our trials can be good for us. Our strength is in CHRIST, and that's always were we need to look first in any time of difficulty. We'll still be praying for you.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Proverbs 3:5-10 NASB  Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones. Honor the LORD from your wealth And from the first of all your produce; So your barns will be filled with plenty And your vats will overflow with new wine.

So very glad to hear this!  Also, congrats on your A's at school!

Thank you all!

Even thou your life crisis seems to be over and things are looking brighter, just know I will keep the you in my prayers.

Hey MJC,

Again, I will repeat...everyone has done such a great job advising - all I can say is no one is perfect but God and we just have to look to Him to perfect us. We all go through stuff, whether it be guilt, shame, depression....most of us have all felt some sort of cloud or I don't care attitude at some point in our life....but if you continue to pray God will meet you even at your lowest point when you think even God has left you ...he will meet you and bring good out of the bad and it ends up being a testimony to others going through what you went through. Just keep the faith girl. I will pray for you too.

Thanks again for all of your prayers.  I still need them.  Saturday night evening I was at work and I was just quiet.  I had a lot on my mind and my boss could see that something was wrong so he kept asking me about it and I got all upset and started crying and just told him everything.  I feel like everyday I am getting further and further away from God.  I thought things were getting better but I guess it started going back downhill.  He talked to me about it though.  I just don't know what I am doing wrong or where I am messing up.  I feel like my prayers aren't getting through when I pray.  I have had several answered prayers but I feel like there is just a wall there.  Also when I read the Bible its like it doesn't even sink in.  I can read something three times and still not be able to tell you what I read about.  Next week I am going to youth camp.  Maybe that will give me a chance to clear my head and get away from everything and really get in touch with God.  Last year at youth camp I answered the call to be a missionary.  Its great to be around other Christian teenagers in a good environment. 

Yes MJC, my prayers are on going for you sister.

I think it is only human that we immediately think we are somehow to blame or doing something wrong, enough that God's words and a feeling of him being with us is not there. But our Lord is always there. He never leaves us. But he does sometimes step back and not answer, not to abandon us as we think, but to remind us of how much we need Him. In our day-to-day lives we often get caught up with handling everything that happens by our self's. We think we have a remedy for everything and everybody. We tell ourselves what a great job we have done and forget sometimes that the Lord had his hand in the outcome. Then suddenly as we are cruising along at high speed, we lose momentum and we feel an emptiness that wasn't there before. This is the time to go in prayer and thanksgiving in praise for what the Lord has done in our lives. Do not be sad, do not feel he has left you. He is gently reminding you that you need him. I have been there. Just give praises onto him and you will begin to feel all your prayers have been answered. And remember he our heavenly Father, loves you and will never leave you.

AMEN and AMEN BROTHER!


 

Once before I had a big scare somewhat like this.  One day I just woke up and all of the sudden I felt like God had just completely left me.  I went to school and I just couldn't understand how I had been living the way I was living.  I am usually very positive and everything, but I couldn't do it.  I thought that I had messed up bad.  I prayed and prayed and prayed some more.  I thought I had done something terrible and God had just completely left me.  I was scared.  After about a week everything cleared up and I guess went back to normal.  I think that God was just using that to show me how far I had come and how much I had changed.  I had only been saved for about a year at the time.  That experience really showed me how far I had come from what I used to be. 

I don't think this is the same thing though.  I can still feel God, but I feel like I am just living in a daze sometimes.  I can watch something on tv, hear something, read something, or anything and never catch any of it.  I am always just off in my own little world.  I do have a problem with trying to be too independent though.  I don't want to let anyone do anything for me.  I want everyone to know that I can do it myself.  I am working on that.  I need to start just letting God work things out for me.  I just wish I knew what was going on.

Sister, that is your problem that you have..............  In order for God to really work, you have to give yourself completely to Him.  Until you do that, you will have these feelings you have. Please see the verses I have posted below for you.   I will be praying for you sister.

Acts 16:30-32 And he brought them out [of the dungeon] and said, Men, what is it necessary for me to do that I may be saved? 31 And they answered, Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ [give yourself up to Him, take yourself out of your own keeping and entrust yourself into His keeping] and you will be saved, [and this applies both to] you and your household as well. 32 And they declared the Word of the Lord [the doctrine concerning the attainment through Christ of eternal salvation in the kingdom of God] to him and to all who were in his house.