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I am in so much pain right now, but I don't know from what.  I feel like I'm going crazy and the endless amount of drugs and doctor's tests have turned up nothing.  Right now I am considering dropping out of high school.  As much as I don't want to, I feel like my body is not giving me a choice-I feel like I'm a deck of cards that are about to collapse in on itself.  I am feeling so detached from Christ right now, and none of my friends seem to understand.  Does anyone have an answer???

Oklahoma Howdy to Peachykeen,

I will pray for you that God gives you comfort and strength during this difficult time of your life. I will also pray that God gives your doctors wisdom in finding the best treatment for you.

This is the time you should trust in Jesus first, before anyone else. People may desert you, but Jesus will never forsake you, even in the worst situations. It is time to pray.

You are very young, so I hope and pray that it is something easy to treat or repair. Whatever you do, don't blame God for your illness and pain. All human beings will suffer illness, pain, and death sooner or later. When you pray, ask if it be HIS will.

Many here will pray for you. Keep us informed of any news so we can better pray for you. In the meantime, put your faith in Jesus and KEEP LOOKING UP!

In Christ,
Tom

      PeachyKeen;
    You are on my prayer list I know it's hard, but have Faith.

Peachy, this may sound silly, but I want to march right over there to Texas and give you a HUGE HUG. It might not make you feel better, but oh well.

Are you in physical pain, or emotional?

P.S. Even when you feel the most seperated from God - even in your deepest depression - these are the moments He's closest to you. You may feel alone and lost, but you aren't, Peachy. You may not realize this until the trouble is past and you are looking back on it. You have friends here who are praying for you.

I'm praying for you. What happened?

um...."toubled"?


You mean, as in, "Let not your heart be toubled?"



        ???

Sorry I haven't been on in a while, but my life has seemed to ahve gotten progressivley worse in the last couple weeks.  The pain I feel is very physical, and pretty much any symptom there is out there (nausea, exhaustion, trembling, nightmares, innsomnia, faintness, lack of concentration, freezing/burning up temperatures, etc.), I have it.  I'm so exhausted, no matter if I get 13 hours of sleep or 4.  I've prayed and prayed but my body keeps on getting sicker.  I've been tested for so many things like anemia, but nothing has shown up on the tests.  My mother has fibromyalgia, or chronic fatigue, however, and I'm getting tested for that next.  I'm not too good at explaining what it is, but it's main symptom is exhaustion.  It's strange though because I'm so young, most cases have occured in adulthood, although teenage cases are not unheard of.  I know this is going to sound strange, but I am praying that I do has this ailment because if I do, I will at least be surrounded by christian friends and family who understand what I'm going through.  It's terrible not knowing what I have ant people just thinking I'm crazy.  If nothing turns up again, I'm not sure what I'll do.  I feel so lsot and alone and sick right now, and any prayers would be greatly appreciated.  I feel so seperated from God right now, and everything that can go wrong in my life is going wrong.  Please pray for answers, thats what I need the most right now--I need to know.  

Will do, my friend. If you've been studying very hard or wearing yourself out, maybe there is a chance you have mononucleosis. This illness is associated with the Epstein-Barr virus, that can also cause chronic fatigue syndrome. Do you have a sore throat or swollen glands?

swollen glands like thyroids??? I honestly have no idea lol.  The biggest problem is that I used to be a machine when it came to school work, now I do so little of it and I still feel burned out.  Its like I do so little now that I shouldn't be stressed or overworked at all, but I still am.  Even if I do absolutley nothing on a Saturday afternoon except go to a grocery store and read a book, I still feel like I've run a 26-mile marathon.  

Chronic fatigue is a very puzzling and sometimes overwhelming disease! Perhaps one of the worst things about it is, the sufferer can experience a great deal of pain, but since the doctor can't find out why they're hurting, the patient is told "it's in your head". This is not true! It may be a mysterious disease, but its a real one, and I have several friends (and relatives) that have this. And no, it is not unheard of in younger persons, I read somewhere that it is actually getting more common among teens.  :'( I will be praying, Peachy!

Thank you very much for your prayers, and I'm going to see a doctor about chronic fatigue in a few days.  Right now I really am begining to hope that this is it, I'm so very desperate for answers.  I feel like I'm going crazy! :'(

Praying for answers, that your body may be healed, also your mind, heart, spirit or whatever needs healing...

   :)

Well I hate to say it, but things have gotten SO much worse since my last visit to the site.  I'm so very ill now, and feeling very alone.  I feel like my friends are there for the occational "oh i hope you feel better" and "aww thats too bad" and "how come you wern't at school today?  You sure did miss a lot," but they don't do anything else!!!  You want to know the worst part?  Not one person in my youth group has even CALLED to see if I'm still alive (considering my absence from church for a signifigant amount of time).  The people who claimed to love me and would take care of me if I felt sick or unloved have not even left a message on the answering machine.  I realized that I was simply someone who added to the size of the youth group, and not the heart.

I just had an MRI done, and I'm going to a neurologist wednesday.  The only problem is I feel like I'm going crazy, and I feel like my body is destroying itself.  I don't know what to do.  Everything hurts so bad right now, and its hard to see God's greater outcome for me.  Why is God trying to destroy a follower that was once so healthy and strong?  What's his purpose if he's hurting someone who just wanted to help people?  What do I do when theres no medication to stop the sickness, no friends to stand by, and no answer from God?  Does anyone know??? ???

Oklahoma Howdy to PeachyKeen,

It really sounds like the first thing you should do is stop blaming God for your illness. This is the most destructive thing that you can do. Go in the opposite direction and pray that God gives your doctors skill and wisdom to find out what is wrong with you. God is your ally, not your adversary. If everyone else forsakes you, HE is still there. You are never alone if you remember this.

I will be praying for you, and I'm sure that many others here will also pray for you.

In Christ,
Tom

Thanks BEP, it's just hard to look up when everything's hurting.  

Peachy, I'm praying, too. You're welcome to PM me.  :'(

Oklahoma Howdy to Peachykeen,

I should have also offered PM. Believe me, I do understand and have had the hurting t-shirt since 1998. I may have some ideas for you. MRI is supposed to be the best, but they found my problem with a cat-scan. Here's something to get a grin and try to make you feel better. The lab guy takes a kitty and swings it in circles over you (i.e. cat-scan).   ;D

It helps to get a positive attitude about them finding the problem and getting it fixed. You can sometimes help the doctor by writing down details of every symptom and pain, when you eat, what you eat, when you have pain, how long it lasts, and every detail you can think of for a log book to take to the doctor. There are tons of fairly minor things that really hurt that can be repaired pretty easily after they find it. I'll be praying it is something simple and easy to fix. Please do feel free to PM me.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Dear Peachykeen,

I would like to address your situation, while addressing the other posts at the same time. Please forgive me, but I need to express my FRUSTRATION on this matter. Here is a young lady in great distress, and no one is providing any solutions to her problem. Prayer is fine, but she needs answers. Why are so many Christians sick and dying when God has given us the wisdom and knowledge to heal ourselves.

Don't we know about natural resources, such as herbs, vitamins, and minerals. Why are we not using these safe and natural remedies that God gave us? Why are we not promoting proper diet and exercise which is the only "real" cure for problems like CFS and Fibromyolgia. Doctors are fine when we need them. I'm sad to say that many people spend unnecessary time and money going to Doctors when they don't need to.

I'm a 31 year old male who has had these same conditions and more. Being that I had no medical insurance, I learned real quick how to heal myself. Peachykeen, I recommed you do what I did. Start researching natural resources. Products  like Coral Calcium, and SeaSilver just to name a couple. Start taking a good multi-vitamin. I use a company called Advanced Physicians Products. Their web-site is  http://www.nutritiononline.com/   They are wonderful, and they will give advice too.

Also find out what foods make you feel worse. Most importantly when you start feeling better start a mild excerise program. You will be amazed as to how 20 to 30 minutes of just pace walking a few times a week can make you feel better. You can advance according to how you feel. Be sure to not over do it though. I hope that I could be of some help.

I want to end by saying that i'm very dissapointed with the Christian community right now. God gives us the "Ability" to  produce Health Wealth, or whatever it is we need. I am a firm believer in prayer, but I feel that we sometimes use it in the wrong way. We need to pray, but we also need solutions. Dear readers, Please make it an effort to start providing actual answers for hurting people.

God Bless,

Rapture  

P.S. Please excuss any misspellings or typo's                    

Heehee! If they use a doggy is it a Lab report?

Rapture, do you have working knowledge of this young lady's condition? Or is this opportunism? ::)

 

I'm so sorry you are going through all this pain...
Since the beginning of this year, I had been sicker than a dog, literally vomitting almost every week...and would ALWAYS get anxiety attacks b/c I hate getting sick to my stomach.  Anyway, I finally got some answers, and found out I had a gallbladder problem and gastro parisis and peptic ulcers.  Well, I had my gall bladder out in August, and I handed EVERYTHING over to the Lord the night before the surgery.  My anxiety was GONE.  The gall bladder came out and I was told it was really diseased.  I know that once I put ALL my faith in the Lord, things did eventually get better.  It's all in His time.  He see's the WHOLE canvas...He will get you through anything...just have faith in that and in Him...especially in the hardest, most trying times, call out to Him and you will be so pleased at how close by He really is.
Live in the Word, speak the Word....Feed on the word until it penetrates the spirit.  Always remember that by Jesus' stripes you ARE healed...take God's word daily....His word is a healing agent...it is the medicine to all of our flesh.  Remember, it takes time for medicine to work...both spiritual and natural...trust in God and remember that His medicine has no side effects...and even when you don't want to, speak the word of God...His word WILL heal :)
Praying for you!!!
God bless!!!

Oklahoma Howdy to Whitehorse,

 ;D  Yes, I got several lab reports. Thanks, I hadn't heard that one.

I need to get some of those vitamins and natural products. I bet there are multitudes of Christians living several hundred years or more. I'm disappointed nobody ever told me about that. I bet they could close the hospitals and send all the doctors home. Think of all that money Christians could save on medicine. Maybe this rates a  :D   ???

Love In Christ,
Tom

Yep, I say it rates a full  ;D

Love in Christ,
Whitehorse

I are in my constant prayers. God bless, keep praying, believe in him and he will deliver you.

For your soul:

Perfect through Suffering by Anne Reeve Aldrich

God never would send you the darkness
  If he felt you could bear the light;
But you would not cling to his guiding hand
  If the way were always bright;
And you would not care to walk by faith
  Could you always walk by sight.

Tis true he has many an anquish
  For your sorrowful heart to bear,
And many a cruel thorn-crown
  For your tired head to wear;
He knows how few would reach heaven at all
  If pain did not guide them there.

So he sends you the blinding darkness,
  And the furnace of seven-fold heat.
Tis the only way, believe me,
  To keep you close to his feet,
For tis always so easy to wander
  When our lives are glad and sweet.

Then nestle your hand in your Father's
  And sing, if you can, as you go;
Your song may cheer some one behind you
  Whose courage is sinking low.
And....well...if your lips do quiver...
  God will love you better so.

-------------------------------------------

We are made perfect through suffering.  You are our sister in Christ and we love you.

~LMarsh

Oklahoma Howdy to LMarsh,

THANKS!, That was beautiful.

Love In Christ,
Tom

I would like to address this post, and express my FUSTRATION in this matter. Here is a young lady, in great distress, and somebody is trying to make a profit off it.  :'(

I'm sorry you are disappointed with the Christian community right now. But a praying church is a strong church. If you can pray better, please instruct us, so that we no longer use this God-given power in the wrong way.

God does not always guarantee us solutions, however much we think we need them. He says He will hear us, when we pray in His will; this is enough.

"God gives us the "Ability" to  produce Health Wealth, or whatever it is we need." Everything that we have comes from God; we can produce nothing on our own. He gives us instruction on how to use these gifts, and opportunities to gather or waste them, but it is not through our own power that we make them.

Not that I have anything against herbal supplements etc; my personal experience with them has been, they are expensive and do very little good, but I certainly have no qualm about them, and maybe they help other people. But they do not work miracles. Prayer can.

And do not think I am suggesting that, if someone has knowledge to help a hurting person, they should not use it; but don't slam the saints who use their best resource available, prayer. It doesn't always heal, like the ads on TV. It isn't a magic potion or super-vitamin. But it is powerful.

Sorry, folks. Me a li'l peevish this mornin'.  :P

Dear Willowbirch,

First off, you are dead wrong and out of order for implying that i'm trying to make a profit. Any decent human being can read my post and tell that I was only trying to help. You are so mislead.

You are also so very wrong. God does guarantee solutions, and prayer is Not enough. The bible says that faith without works is dead. What this means is, you must have faith, and do something about that faith at the same time.

You said "we can produce nothing on our own" Well, I never stated that we could. I said "God gives us the "Ability" to  produce Health Wealth, or whatever it is we need." Key word being Ability. It's not hard to confuse.

It's funny, you said natural remidies did very little for you. Well that's strange because they have done wonders for mankind ever since the begining of time. Their were No hospitals, or doctors 2000 years ago. Adam and Eve did not take medications either. Imagine that!!!

Jesus warned us that people will perish or die because of lack of knowledge. A person that's starving to death dosent need prayer, they need FOOD. Praying for a starving person will lead to death. You can pray after you have feed them.

Try praying for a job, and not fill out any applications. You will be unemployed and broke. Only when you mix the two together you get results. It's just common sense.

Christians can continue to waiste time and money if they want to. I choose to be wise and combine prayer and faith with solution. It works and works well. Thank God he showed me the light. I am now healthy and I can be a blessing to others.

Rapture        

Told you I was peevish this morning.   :P

(Sorry for taking over your thread, Peachykeen - maybe this should be in a different forum?)

Rapture:
I'm sorry if I accused you wrongly. There are a lot of folks who come just to advertise their products, I didn't realize you were just an innocent advisor!

Yes, I agree with you that mankind has relied on herbs etc. for millenia. But my personal theory is that we absorb much of the vitamins and minerals our bodies need simply through good dieting; I've never "gone in" for supplements and pills. They scare me.  ;D

Please remember, I did not say that we should sit back and do nothing but pray, as you claim. I said that we should share what knowledge and wisdom we have if possible (concerning the situation where this is needed); but when you just don't know what advice/help to give, prayer is all you can do.

God does guarantee solutions; but they aren't always the kind we want or understand. I said that, too.

Your reference to "Faith without works" is interesting; I have never heard it quoted in a situation similar to this one. It makes sense. But prayer is faith AND works; not always visible works, as the verse implies (charity, etc.) and of course I agree that we should help where we can. But if all you know what to do is pray...?

You stress the word "ability" again. That's my point. We can't do much on our own. DO NOT think I am saying that we should just sit back and vegetate, let our bodies rot, just because we don't control every part of our lives. But all we really have the "ability" to do is obey God, which can include (of course) healthy diet, exercise, etc. We can't "make" ourselves healthy, or prosperous, etc. Only God can ultimately do that.

P.S. There were doctors 2000 years ago. They couldn't do the same advanced things we do now, and people died much younger, but they were there. (Leeches, anyone?)

Also (and I'm certainly not arguing with you on this - its just a thought!), Adam and Eve were created perfect. They had no deformed genes, no hereditary disease. They lived in an age where anybody could live to 800+.

I am glad that God can use you to be a blessing to others! May He continue to do so!

Rapture:
I think there has been a misunderstanding. I don't want you to believe that I am upset because you offered herbal advice to Peachy! I'm not enthusiastic about holistic healing, but I would never judge another believer about it.

I am glad you gave advice to Peachy; others would have if they could, and some did. But people have been praying and fasting over the past weeks for this girl, and you basically told them that they were incompetent. This is what offends me.  :'(

Peachykeen, I am passing this on to you, it was posted by A4C on another thread.

Has Your Hut Been Burning?

      The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island.  He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.  Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.  But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.  The worst had happened - everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger.  "God, how could you do this to me?" he cried.

    Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island.  It had come to rescue him.  "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.  "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

    It's easy to get discouraged sometimes when things appear to be going badly.  But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering.  Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.
    For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it.





You say, "Nobody really loves me."
God says: "I love you". (John 3:16 - John 13:34)

You say, "I can't go on."
God says: "My grace is sufficient." (II Cor. 12:9 - Psalm 91:15)

You say, "I can't figure things out."
God says: "I will direct your steps." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say, "I can't do it."
God says: "You can do all things in Me." (Phil 4:13)

You say, "It's not worth it."
God says: "It will be worth it." (Romans 8:28)

You say, "I can't forgive myself."
God says: "I forgive you." (Romans 8:1)

You say, "I can't manage."
God says: "I will supply all your needs." (Phil 4:19)

You say, "I'm afraid."
God says: "I have not given you a spirit of fear." (II Tim. 1:7)

You say, "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: "Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say, "I don't have enough faith."
God says: "I've given everyone a measure of faith." (Romans 12:3)

You say, "I'm not smart enough."
God says: "I give you wisdom." (I Cor. 1:30)

You say, "I feel all alone."
God says: "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Heb. 13:5)






+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pass this on, you never know whose life may be in need of this today. There are some weeks (and days) that we ALL feel our huts are burning
 
 
 

Wonderful, Brother!  :)

From: Two Minutes With The Bible, in which I post Daily here on this forum.

THE BLESSINGS OF CRISIS

The Apostle Paul, who had been through one desperate
crisis after another, wrote as follows:

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8:28).

How many people have found life going along smoothly
for years when, all of a sudden, they have found themselves
in the middle of some serious crisis!

Perhaps the sudden death of a loved one changed life
completely and presented serious problems wholly unantic-
ipated. Perhaps it was the sudden loss of wealth, so that life
had to be completely readjusted. There are hundreds of
unexpected incidents that can suddenly bring one face to
face with stark and stern realities completely unforeseen.

For believers in the Lord Jesus Christ such crises can
prove great spiritual blessings. They tend to draw us closer
to our heavenly Father, to cause us to pray more and to
lean harder upon Him. They show us the insecurity of all
that is temporal and give us a greater appreciation of our
eternal security in Christ. They give deeper meaning to the
Scriptures we study and even to the hymns we sing. They
sanctify and enrich our fellowships.

To those -- and only those -- who truly love God and are
"the called according to His purpose," all things do indeed
"work together for good" -- caused by God, of course, to
"work together for good."
         
This is why God’s Word to the Christian is:
         
"Be careful [care full] for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:6,7).

Written by Pastor Stam

Subscribe at:
http://www.bereanbiblesociety.org/twominut.html
Two Minutes With The Bible By Pastor Stam

Mailing Address:
Berean Bible Society
N112 W17761 Mequon Road
P.O. Box 756
Germantown, WI 53022

Web Site:
http://www.bereanbiblesociety.org/
Gospel Books, Materials, & Free Mailings

Email:
berean@execpc.com

Telephone:  262-255-4750

Yep, that pretty much says it.  Thanks, A4C...

I love you all so much...you have no idea how wonderful this has made me feel.  I come home everyday hurting and looking for the sympathy I never can find in my friends.  The only relief I get is with God and you beautiful people.  I think my faith is finally begining to harden.  I'm past a point where I've stopped trying to fight God and I'm actually surrendering to him.  Hearing all of the wonderful things you all have shown me have made me feel SO much better.  To know that people are actually praying for me and asking about how I feel is just.......an incredible feeling.  God really did direct me to this site randomly and mysteriously.  I was scanning a research page on some random website and I scrolled down to the very bottom, and in the tiny right hand corner in very small font were the words: christians unite.  I click on it and before I know it, I'm a Newbie and talking to great folks like you. It's amazing, complete strangers who I've never seen before in my life are helping me in so many incredible ways.  It's seriously like God placed me on this site for a reason.  

However, while my faith is getting stronger, my body is growing weaker.  I saw a neurologist today (the same one who diagnosed my mother with fibromyalgia), and we're still struggling to pinpoint the culprit.  Right now, I really am praying for an answer.  Just to know that I'm not crazy and this entire thing isn't in my head would be a miracle in itself.  I would love to try some of those natural drugs, my mother has a lot of organic herbs/pills that work wonders for the human body.  Sorry, I didn't mean to cause a dispute (I have PLENTY of my "peevish" moments too Willowbirch-lol).  Thank you all again, and I'll try to keep you updated.  Things still seem a tad hopeless, but I think the answer is coming.  

Just keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, Peachy--the "author and perfector of our faith..."


    :)

Oklahoma Howdy to PeachKeen,

You didn't cause any dispute, so please don't worry about that.

It is nice many times to shut the door, turn off everything that could bother you, get quiet, shut your eyes, and talk to Jesus.

Many are praying for you.

Love In Christ,
Tom

You didn't cause a dispute, Peachy!  :-\ I must've took something the wrong way, I guess.

So you don't have chronic fatigue?  ??? Or perhaps you do, unless they discover something else?

Amen-keep your eyes on Jesus, Peachy; we're praying for you.

Hi all, sorry I haven't been on in a while.  I've been spending the last week (Thanksgiving holiday) in Ixtapa, Mexico, and its really given me a chance to relax and breathe.  This week has been wonderful, but I'm begining to feel the school stress come back upon me.  Right now, I'm really spiritually confounded.  If you could pray for spiritual clarity, I would greatly appreciate it.  I'm praying very hard and frequently nowdays, but I still have a problem of feeling God.  Its kinda making me go, "where are you?"  Also, I feel like God has really directed me to Isaiah 54-58 and 60 and the promise of Jerusalem/Zion.  I really feel like God is compairing me to Jerusalem.  On this trip I recently went on, I feel like God wrote out a sort of...table of contents for me.  Kind of like, 18 steps to get me out of this spiritual rut and back into God's arms, deeper than I've ever gone before.  My point is, basically, if BEP would allow me...I would really like to turn this topic into a kind of journal for what God is telling me.  It could help a lot of people, plus it might even be a miracle written out, recorded, and proven.  It would just basically what I feel is happening in me, like the re-awakening of Christ in my heart (if he was ever dorment-but I cetrainly drowned him out plenty a time).  I'm really hoping that (if it were allowed) that it could hold a figurative, or literal meaning to all christians who are suffering, sick, wandering, or dying.  I'm just really excited to spread what God has told me over the holiday, as well as wondering if my test could help the tests of others.  well, thanks for reading!

Welcome back, Peachy! I hope your stay in Mexico was refreshing! I almost understand why you feel that God has called you to certain Biblical passages, and yet wonder if He is there. I have never been in such troublesome valleys as you have, but I can almost relate. I am glad that you seem to have found a "table of contents", that can be so useful!

It would be wonderful if you could make a journal here! There are so many people who want to help and can't, and would love to be able to look into the thoughts of someone who is going through what you are. And yes, it would be a wonderful testimony to the love of God, and the love Christians need to give back. We're cheering for you, Peachy!

Oklahoma Howdy to  Peachykeen,

Sure it's allowed! We would love to hear your testimony and what God is doing in your life. I've been praying for you and will continue like many others here on Christians Unite.

Peachy, you never have to ask permission to post a testimony. Christians bear burdens together, and it's uplifting to hear about what God is doing in a person's life. We need to pray together and encourage each other in Christ. I've been within hours of death twice. I sometimes think it might have been better to go home with Jesus, but HE obviously has a purpose for me.

Peachy, I'm encouraged to hear about young people like you who are studying HIS WORD and seeking the will of God. We all have troubles and illness to deal with from time to time, but God's children don't face problems alone. Having Christian friends and family members is nice, but having JESUS is great.

Our problems in this short life are nothing in comparison to eternal life in GLORY with our LORD and SAVIOUR, JESUS CHRIST. Pray and KEEP LOOKING UP!  Put your concerns and health problems at the feet of Jesus.

Love In Christ,
Tom  

Thank you so much BEP!  I cannot wait to tell you all the message God has given me, and amazing by how much has already happened. I feel change on the wind and I'm ready to breathe it in and embrace it.  I promise I'll spill everything but it'll have to wait until this weekend......

Oklahoma Howdy to PeachyKeen,

You are most welcome. You really sound upbeat and positive. I give thanks that things are going better for you, and I look forward to hearing about what God is doing in your life.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Hello All, sorry I haven't been on in a while--it's been one epic battle after the next.  I still feel physically tortured, but my soul is a different story.  For the first time in a very long time, I feel on top of things and in control.  I feel close to God, and I'm begining to remember what kind of person I was and want to be.  While my body isn't improving much in health means, for the first time EVER I feel okay with it, like I can deal with it.  But theres a bit more than that.  Okay, let's start at the begining.  Thanksgiving week.  My parents had the brilliant idea of vacationing in Ixtapa, Mexico, just the three of us, instead of all the holiday stress of making turkey and pie and the begining of christmas sales, etc.  Before leaving, I made a secret promise with myself that somehow I would go on this trip and talk to God again.  Somehow, I was going to get better.  And somehow, I was going to be alright again.  Of course, I had made these promises to myself countless times before, but I was begining to get really fed up with the way I felt.  The way I felt meaning--completley isolated from God to a point where I could not feel him anymore, not even in prayer; physically worn out, exhausted, and streched "like butter spread over too much bread"-billbo baggins; and emotionally sick and alone and pretty darn annoyed with myself.  So anyways, I leave for the trip, have some fun splashing in beautiful blue water, shopping in a village across the street, and reading junk books by the pool.  But somewhere around midday I find myself wandering into a shadded area with hammocks, holding my bible.  I guess you could say I knew what I had to face.  Before opening my bible, I prayed that God would show me everything I needed to know--why was I sick, why was he doing this, why did he leave me (so pretty much why), what was I sick with, was there going to be a cure, and how come he is making me feel so alone?  So I do one of those things where you just open up your bible and read what wants to be read.  

Let me just say right now, it was the most amazing thing I have ever done.  What God told me that day has not left my memory once since I opened that book.  Not only did God answer all my questions, he told me what he was doing, why he was doing it, and whats going to happen.  He gave me every bit of information I could've ever wanted to know.  He expanded my heart, my mind, and my soul.  And then, something woke up inside of me.  The happy, healthy, I-know-what-I-want someone I once was jumped out of the depths of my heart and began to speak up again.  It began to shout out instructions and ideas that had never occured to me before.  And in the end, it was myself that grabbed the reigns out of my sickness' hands and began to steer my own life again.  What happened that day has only been the begining of a reverse spiral effect--instead of spiraling down into this unavoidable, deadly darkness, I am spiraling up, gaining more and more speed, getting closer and closer into the light I once dwelled in.  But the best part is that I know I'm not going to stop at the happy place I once was at, but I am going to keep spiraling up and up and up until my life has reached this ultimate happy place that I have never been able to reach before.  What is my happy place, you might ask?  I didn't know either, until about  a week ago I sat down and wrote it out.  I wrote out what I wanted and who I wanted to be.  I sat for an hour and enscribed a peice of paper with my emotional goals, physical goals, mental goals, and spiritual goals, and then how to join these 4 parts of me together.  So my happy place?  Turns out my happy place is becoming a woman of God.  Turns out that all I ever wanted and all I ever want is not to make the best algebra grade in the school, or become a Seventeen Cover Model, but to become someone who can make her immortal father happy.  Turns out, I just want to serve God, every single day of my life until I die.  Suddenly, this sickness doesn't seem so bad.  Suddenly, my life isn't so hard.  And suddenly, I don't hate myself anymore.  When you realize what you want, and you realize how easily it can be obtained, life immediatley stops being this 6 ring circus and starts becoming one big show.  It's not about my mom's sickness, nor my own.  It's not about how cool Pirates of the Carribean is, or how bad your chem grade may be.  It's not about your spouse, or your job, or your dog, or your house.  It's honestly about you and God.  Its about spending each day on Earth like its the best day you've ever had, and every person like the best friend you've had for years.  It's about being happy, and knowing that God's idea of sucess is the happiest, easiest, greatest definition of success.  And it's about knowing yourself.  It's about conquering your fears and becoming the person you were born to be.  This is my meaning of life, and I have learned it all from a few lucky chapters from the Bible.  and while my life is going to continue to be hard, and I will have to constisantly be reminding myself of what I'm working towards, I know that in the end, I will be happy.  In the end, I will be working for God in whatever way he needs me.  In the end, I WANT to be a servant of God, beause that is when I truly know myself the best and when I truly know what I want to become.  And maybe, just maybe, in the end, I will have accomplished all of these goals and all my other goals, and God will say to me "Well done, my good and faithful servant."  

So now I want to challenge you.  Please read my testimony, and rest assured there will probobly be MANY more, and think about your life.  Are you happy?  Are you making God happy?  And what are you working towards--a better life, or a better after-life?  And just remember--God is the most important thing in your life, so just make sure he makes the A-list  ;)

well, i hope someone made it thro this long peice, and if you're reading this, thanks!!!

i'll put in more about the chapters i read later, for now, its Isaiah 54-58, 60

<3

Brother:

If this is any comfort to you, many other Christians [including myself] have gone through tremendous trials and testings. There are Christians praying for you right now, I will also be praying for your recovery, and if not, then strength through the pain and sickness, but keep this thought always before you -- God always has a good ultimate purpose and that He is in you and with you through all of this, and will not put you through anything beyond what you can bear [by His grace].  Also remember Job.  His end was better than his beginning.

Lord Jesus, we pray for this brother who is hurting so badly that it is driving him to despair. Please reach down at this very moment and lift him up, strengthen him, and comfort him with thy comfort.  Amen.

Oklahoma Howdy to Peachykeen,

Sister, it really made me happy to read your post. I give thanks for what God is doing in your life. I really enjoyed your testimony and look forward to MORE.

I think that you may have discovered a huge TRUTH: Jesus is always with us. We sometimes listen more to the clutter and noise of this world when Jesus wants us to get quiet and listen to HIM. It is then that we find peace and "much more" grace, grace that is much more than sufficient for all our needs. I give thanks for your improvement and will continue to pray for you every day. Please do keep us posted. It is a real joy to hear about what God is doing in the lives of our young people.

Love In Christ,
Tom

 ;D Peachy, I am so glad you have found comfort! May God continue to draw you near to Him as you seek to live out your goals through Him to become a Godly woman! Please remember that your love for Him (and His for you) does not end when it seems you've lost a "happy place"; our feelings and emotions are so fragile, yet they can steer us if we let them. God has always had a plan for your life, even when you think everything has crash-landed. Still prayin' for you! ((((Hugs from Michigan))))))

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart for all of the prayers and advice and patience you all have had with me.  This has really been a light in dark places, and probobly the only thing that kept giving me faith.  I'm still growing and I know I'll never stop, but I'm loving the change.  And now that I look back on all that horrible, horrible testing, the testing I'm still going through today, I realize I wouldn't change a thing.  It's still hard, I still cry and fuss a lot, and to put it lightly, lets just say I don't exacally hop out of bed full of energy, and health, and life.  I'm still feeling physically sick.  But not emotionally.  Spiritually, I feel fruitful again, and clean, mature, and free.  

It still hurts, don't get me wrong, but I'm glad for the pain.  I'm happy for it.  Its a burden I'm willing to carry.  A burden that I know God's gonna help me carry, and even carry for me most of the time.  This is gonna sound weird-but I'm glad I'm suffering.  I love the fact that I can wake up knowing that God is turning me into something beautiful.  But then again, doesn't mean I don't wake up and groan and moan too.  God's gonna help me thro this, isn't he?  I know he is.  Thats the best feeling right there.

Merry christmas  ;)

Oklahoma Howdy to Peachkeen,

I can see from your post that you are growing stronger in the Lord, Jesus Christ. Yes, God will help you through this. Pray, seek His will, and let Him guide you on the path He wants for you. There is peace and joy when you yield to His will and purpose. Many of us pray for you every day.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Amen!

How are you feeling now I saw your post just recently and you have the same nickname as my teenage daughter. Gave me a scare I thought it was her.  I hope you are feeling better. will be praying.

   :)

God has been SO good to me the past couple of weeks.  He has been teaching me so much, making me humble and selfless, and really just healing all of the pain I caused myself inside.  In a way, I know I'll always have those scars inside of me.  I'll never forget how alone I felt.  But another part of me knows that what I felt was nothing compaired to what it felt like for Jesus.  I'm begining to really, truly be thankful of those scars.  Its like proof that I've gone onto a battlefield and refused to give up until my enemy was defeated.  And I was never alone.  While God continues to test me (as he does everyone), I am begining to love the tests.  Change is a good thing, it brings new horizons and growth.  And as Frodo Baggins says, "there is no going back."  There will be many more low points in my life, I know.  Times I want to despair and give up and wallow.  But there is always God, and somehow you will find strength.  I am finding more and more strength each day, and I honestley don't know where its coming from (meaning definatley not my own personal strength).  We're still toying with the idea of Fibromyalgia consdiering the symptoms are only getting worse, but I'm not unhappy with it anymore.  Thank you, truly for your prayers and support.  They're working  ;D.

What a beautiful post, Peachy! It's inspiring me, too! What an encouragement, and thank you for sharing it.

By the way, if it is Fibro, I have it, too. It can be taken care of. Do you have the Fibromyalgia Cookbook? That can help. Also, take selenium, zinc, and potassium, and it's really important to stay hydrated. Drink a lot of water, and drink it slowly ebnough that your body can absorb it. Maybe the symptoms will go away. I have more materials, too. If you want them, I can get the info for you.

Blessings,
Whitehorse

Thanks for the information, Whitehorse!

Peachy, I'm sure you've heard this; but I have read that people with Depression can have pain and/or illnesses that are very real but cannot be verified by modern medicine. Hopefully you will find something to help your physical needs, and praise God that you are drawing near to Him! There is no sweeter experience!

Peachy my thoughts and prayers are definetly with you.  I have to tell you that you are a great inspiration to young people out there in the world like myself.  You have made me realize even more than when the world lets you down and feel you can't go on God carrys you on.  God will never leave your side so Thank You so much for helping us all realize this.  God Bless You!!!!

hello all, i hope you are all doing well, my thankfulness has not decreaced for all your prayers.  Sorry this is a long one.  

I know its so hard to stand any more bad news, but thats exacally what I've gotten in the past two weeks--bad news.  Heres the good part:
We think we know what is making me sick.  
There is a toxin called mycotoxin (i think thats what its called) that is one of the most toxic substances in the world.  While it is released from a lot of things, one of the most common things is black mold.  Living in Texas is practically living in a swamp, and consequentley, there is black mold all over my house.  
The good news is, medicine can treat my symptoms and my family and I will move out and I can get to feeling like myself in a year to two years.  
Heres the bad news:
i've been breathing in the toxin long enough for some really serious effects to start taking place.  One, it explains all my symptoms: exhaustion, muscle pains, headaches, and low blood pressure.  The toxin was literally aging my body, attacking my muscles, making my brain swell, causing the headaches.  However, theres a couple more symptoms or reactions too.  The toxin is also attacking my pancreas, which explains my hypoglycemia (I've eaten pretty well all my life, it seemed peculiar that I should get it, out of all my friends).  However, it's very likely to turn into type II diabeties, even if I do all that I can to prevent it.  The toxin also could have really screwed up my thyroid and even ruined my petuitary gland which starts the thyroid process.  Also, now that I've been exposed, I'm at a higher risk of getting cancer, and since I've been around it for so long, its a very real possibility.  Basically, in a sentance, I've been dying for a very long time.  Just like I might have said in earlier posts "I feel like I'm dying" and I really am.  I'm out of my house now and staying with a friend, but its a terrible feeling to think that I have no real home to go to.  I can't take a lot of things with me except what is cotton, plastic, or wood, and a lot of my stuff I will probobly have to loose.  My conentration problems and depression can also be explained.  My brain has been attacked with this resulting in some form of ADD, OCD, and post traumatic stress syndrome.  My doctor described it as this: When I would have a panic attack, I would go into a flight or flight reaction, for example: if a dinosaur were about to eat you, you would either stay and fight it or run away like the Monty Python boys.  However, since I could not see what I was fighting, I became kind of traumatized because I would have doctors telling me I was crazy and it was all in my head.  My body, on the other hand, would not respond possitivley to their medication because the problem was still there.  One doctor actually put me on an anti-psycotic and told me not to gt too stressed, like I was crazy.  Lots of nights I would tell my parents "I need to get out of the house," for an unexplained reason.  I would just have impulses to go for late night walks.  Needless to say it freaked out my parents, but it really was my body telling me what was wrong, or entering the flight stage.  

We're checking my petuitary/thyroid problem now, and expiramenting with different medications.  Heres what I'm really worried about:

If they find a serious mold problem in our home, it can be 400,000 dollars to decontaminate it if its bad enough.  Home Owners Insurance doesn't cover any form of mold in Texas, and we don't have that kind of money.  We'd probobly end up tearing down the home I've spent my whole life in and half the things we own, decontaminate the dirt, and sell the plot, and move into an apartment until I finish high school.  However, the mold could be at my high school too, so switching schools could also be in the works.  If so, we'd probobly leave the state and move somewhere on the east coast and I'd never get to see my church or school friends.  Right now, however, my parents and doctor are trying to pull me out of school for the rest of the semester.  The last thing I want is to be a sophmore again next year.  Not when I've been trying so hard this year.  Somedays I can't even stand up, and I shake so hard I can barely type, write, or drink a glass of water.  Other days I'm just slightly tierd.  Either way, my doc wants me free of stress and wants time to expirament with medications that will treat the symptoms I have and test for more.  Missing school really scares me tho.  Teenagers my age arn't really concerned why your sick, but love poking fun at you if you are.  Will I loose my friends since I'll only see them for two days (at most) a week?  What about my education?It's great to have a solution, but its like God's saying "okay, you can get better now...at the cost of your home, your clothes, your friends, your flute, and your school."  I know material things, like homes, shouldn't matter, because Jesus never had a home and God always provided for him.  But I'm still a kid.  I'm not ready to set off on my own missionary.  I just want to graduate with the class of 06' and have my own bed to sleep in.  I was prepared to give anything for an answer, and it feels like now, I really am giving everything.  I'm so frustrated with God right now because I feel like I've been tested enough.  Give me a break already, I'm 15!!!  I'm not ready to be treated like I'm 50. I know this is "going to turn me into a beautiful person" and "mature my soul" or w/e, but somedays I just need to feel carefree.  I need to jump on my bed, and throw my clothes on my floor, shop with my friends, suffer through algebra tests, all without having to worry if I'm gonna pass out or mess up the home I'm staying at.  All the other kids at my school are deciding things like: escalade or navigator?  OU or LSU? drugs or no drugs?  braids or ponytail?  musician or author?  chemistry test or spanish project?  I hate to sound so immature but it's not fair that I have to decide stuff like: stay in school or miss half a year?  do my laundry or make my lunch?  angry with god or accept it?  It's just like getting lukemia, I'm finding a new problem everyday, feeling worse and worse, not responding to the medication, and quite literally dying slowly.  

sigh.......i'm sorry
That was a lot of rambling but i really needed to get it out.  i should be selfless and trusting god, right?  Have you ever just reached a point where you don't want to anymore?  I know God will deliver me.  I nkow this is all in his great plan and that if I keep fighting it, he'll reward me spiritually.  But a lot of days I just don't see why it has to be the best part of my life and why it has to hurt so bad.  I'll understand in time, but man...It hurts now.

I could use all the prayers or advice you've got!  Thanks for reading!!!

Hi there...
First off...I'm glad they at least KNOW the cause of all your problems!!!  Now, at least you can be on the path of fixing up your body and healing.
My prayers are with you...I can't even comprehend what it must be like to be 15 and to be going through all that.  My heart and prayers go out to you!!!

God bless!!!

Oh, no!  :'( Mold can be so dangerous! I saw a news program on the television that dealt with a problem like this; the family was getting horribly sick and depressed, and no one knew what was wrong...then a home inspector looked through their house, and found deadly mold growing almost everywhere inside the walls...the family was immediately evacuated, the local authorities wouldn't allow them to stay there any longer. The entire inside of the house had to be torn apart and rebuilt...praying, Peachy! This reminds me of some of the laws found in Leviticus concerning mold, and how the entire home would be found "unclean" if certain growths were found in the walls and didn't go away...

Oklahoma Howdy to PeachyKeen,

I will continue to pray for you and your family. It is a blessing to have found the problem. I'm praying since it hasn't made everyone in the family sick yet that they found it in time to make all of the health problems reversible. Taking some time off to let your body heal and giving the doctor opportunities to give you the best treatment sounds very intelligent.

I know this is hard, but I pray that you will concentrate all of your effort in getting well, doing what the doctor tells you, and spending some extra time in worship and prayer. Only God knows, but maybe you will be back to school in the fall, completely normal and healthy.

We'll be praying for you.

Love In Christ,
Tom  

Wow Peachy your are really going through some tough stuff by far way tougher than most teens your age could understand.  But hang in there I know the current situation looks very dim and it has to be really hard to let the sunshine in.  But just remember that Jesus is the the light of the world and He can and will shine light on your situation.  I know you probably do get angry with God about whats going on and you probably wonder all the time why you but God does have his reasons and He will let you in on them in time.  Just keeping talking with God and just keep trying your hardest to hang in there.  My prayers are with you.  Keep you head up!! :)

I am praying that God surrounds you with his warmth love and light =o) and you will be healed from within outward. Remember when we reach out to God he never leaves us or decieves us, and those that have accepted Jesus as their savior are never more then a prayer away and those whom fall alway's return to our Lord and Savior.
  Chin up your loved more then you will ever know.
                                               
                                                     Peace in Christ
                                                      Your sis Erin

Hey all sorry i haven't been on in a while, but my hotel doesn't get internet.  I can't say much right now but AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!
Love you all!!! peachy.  

Oklahoma Howdy to Peachykeen,

I'm extremely happy to hear that God is doing good and great things in your life. Thanks for stopping by to tell us how you are doing. Hearing GOOD NEWS from one of God's children is always refreshing.

Love In Christ,
Tom

You're baaaaack!! Its good to see you again! Yes, God is GOOD!
 (http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/joysong/kittenfriends.jpg)

Okay, now I finally have time to respond to the hype I had yesterday.  While I am still out of my house and officially dropped out of school (I begin tutoring soon, and please pray that I will get to be a junior next year!), I am so pleased with God, I can't even put it into words.  My body still hurts, some days worse than others (the other day I could barely lift my arms to shampoo my hair in the shower, and mornings are still my mortal enemy, next to pimples), but there is not a day that I am not thankful for it.  I know it sounds to weird to say that this is a blessing and I am so happy that this has happened to me, but thats literally the truth.  I have come to a point where my soul is in a better place than any other time in my life.  I finally see how great, wonderful, incredible, amazing, and loving my God is.  I can't even describe it, let me put it this way:

There are over 150,000 words in the average dictionary, how can I explain how much I love God and how great he is with such limited resources?  

He is so good to me;  He has molded and weilded my soul, and I am so strong and SO happy now.  Sure there are bad days, and life definatly isn't easy, but I have come to a level of self-dependance and God-dependance that most kids my age never have to endure.  I have found that I no longer place my happiness on material things: boys, money, jobs, friendships, or clothes.  My friends will still be my friends if I don't call them every night, or do something every single weekend.  God will always provide for me.  My happiness is dependant on Him, and I find you never get depressed that way (He'll NEVER let you down, and that's so much safer than boys or friends lol)

"I tell you, do not worry about your life; what you will eat.  Or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens, the do not sow or reap.  They have no storeroom or barn, and yet God feeds them.  And how much more valuble you are than birds!" -Luke 12: something something...I wish I could remember that because I read it all the time. 24-26 maybe.  

I don't know what more I can say.  I love Him, I love Him, I love Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you all too! peaches

That's good to hear, Peachy.  

It's easy to lose our perspective, in Him, and get all cynical.


That we should be happy, or joyful, seems a constant theme through the Old Testament, in the Pentateuch too.  

That'd be an interesting study, sometime.  To see examples of that, that we should be joyful, in the OT....

Hi Peachy,

Praying that God will reveal His plan/purpose for what you are going through.  After all, when we know His plans it makes us joyful in enduring and hoping in our circumstances.  'The hotter the battle, the sweeter the victory'

You are a very special person, Don't forget that.