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Without Excuse
by Kelly L. Segraves

When you're dead you're dead. That's what I had always heard. After all, who really believes in life after death? Yet, there I was. I can still remember the twinge in my left arm and the throbbing ache in my chest that seemed to paralyze my entire body. As the last breath of life oozed out of me, the pain vanished and suddenly for the first time in my life I felt really alone. I was dead.

My whole being seemed to float away. Whatever death embraces, I was aware of it, for all of my faculties still functioned keenly. I had been transported from the state of life into a new existence. My past life seemed like the twinkling of an eye as I entered an eternal void. I was suddenly horrified at the possibility that death was the ultimate reality, not the final end I had dreaded, but an open door to eternity.

Upward, ever upward, spiraling through an endless tunnel to oblivion, I had no idea what to expect, nor could I know my destination. For some reason I sensed that my present state was part of a master plan, that somewhere, someone was drawing me to my ultimate end. Suddenly an awesome thought passed through my consciousness. Could this someone be God? I dismissed the thought immediately. There is no God. Why, everyone knows that! Well, almost everyone. Certain radicals, I remembered, still prayed and retained their absurd claims that God would judge the world. I recollected an old preacher standing on a street corner who proclaimed doom to everyone that passed him. What was it he said? It's appointed unto man ... once to die ... and then the judgment. That's it, once to die and then the judgment.

Judgment, there's that word again. Could I... no, there's no such thing as judgment. Be calm. Stop worrying. You didn't expect anything after death anyway, so what's the difference? These few moments after life are like a bonus. Right?

It didn't help. The more I conferred with myself, the more distraught I became. If this was my final hour, that day of reckoning with an Almighty Being, I knew I was totally unprepared. Not only had I rejected God, but I had cursed Him and mocked Him throughout my life. If God actually existed and I was hastening toward judgment ... I was in big trouble.

These were terrible thoughts for one lonely soul surrounded by darkness. Up ahead of me at the end of the tunnel, in the darkest part of the heavens, appeared a giant closed door. I couldn't help wondering what was on the other side, but I wasn't sure that I really wanted to know. Somehow I felt much safer out in the darkness. Traveling so fast, I didn't see how the door could ever open in time. It didn't. I passed right through it!

Suddenly I stood in the midst of heavenly creatures called angels. Escorted through a large passage and then through a giant arch, I was suddenly ushered before the throne of the Almighty. I was petrified. If I had come in a physical body my bones would have rattled in fear. It is a horrifying thought for one who never believed in God to stand before His throne. Not really knowing what to say or do, I fell on my face and wept.

As I lay prostrate before the throne of God trembling in fear, my whole life passed agonizingly before me. Every facet of my life burst into sight and every mortal deed or word was clearly revealed for all of heaven to see. Obviously, my life fell far short of the standards established by this heavenly order, and the weight of my deeds laid bare before God was more than a mortal could endure. Even the smallest lie, seemingly harmless or innocent on earth, struck like a giant sledge hammer, crushing me with every blow. My life continued to play like a giant recording, bringing even my innermost thoughts to light. How I wished the ordeal would end. The pain and remorse of a life reviewed by the Almighty God was unbearable. I longed for total annihilation.

The games we played as children, when we thought no one was looking, were openly replayed before this sacred audience. Private incidents had all been recorded by God Himself. I cringed at the sudden realization that I must account for every idea that had passed through my brain. Even as a child I had developed speech habits which were unpleasing to God. How could I have said such things? How could I have been so wicked when throughout life I considered myself good?

I continued to face my mortal life as viewed through God's eyes. Even my teenage years had been appalling. Cutting classes so I could smoke or get drunk, experimenting with sex after school to test what we had learned in class, joining the gang to smoke pot... at the time these things didn't seem so bad, but now as God re-examined them, even I was horrified at the acts of a teenage boy who thought he owned the world. Developing no respect for authority, arguing with my parents, lying and cheating and stealing because I lusted for things, I tried to fill an inward void that gnawed at my existence.

My rash experiment with life continued into college. With sports and sex as primary pursuits, my exploits seemed like a giant X-rated movie. Academic success was founded upon cheating and cribbing, never on diligence and honesty. All heaven continued to watch calmly and deliberately as the tawdry scenes unfolded. I had wanted to live my own life, to prove that I was a man, without realizing that every act was self-motivated. I had only served myself, ignoring everyone else including God. Such a waste of youthful energy!

Even as an adult I didn't change. I was quick to anger and constantly exploding in fury. I was even fired from my first job for arguing vehemently, which only heaped coals upon my bitterness. I continued to gratify self, intent on squeezing all I could out of life. Soon the glow of wine and women dimmed. My angry rush at life seemed futile. My goals faded and my desires were never consummated. Seeking happiness in the pleasures of the world only brought sorrow and pain. I gained no peace, no happiness and no joy. Life became a total bore. By the age of twenty-three I was a failure... no job, no security, not even a purpose for living.

Then I met Natalie. The one sweet remembrance I have always cherished was a preacher's kid, though she never let that bother her. Oh, the times we had together. You wouldn't believe the time we ... oh no! Not that, oh please don't show that. Oh, Lord, please have mercy! Natalie had been so sweet, so innocent, but I had seduced her with candlelight and champagne. For months we savored the freshness of life together, tasting its sugar-coated pleasures and sipping its sensuous thrills. Then it happened. Natalie changed. Some new twinge of conscience ruined everything, and our good times slowly dissolved. Finally she left me and ran off to Africa. There was nothing I could do. After that, life lost a large share of its glow.

At the age of thirty I was married. A few kids came along and things looked pretty bright for awhile. With a fine job, new car and great house, I thought I had it made as I approached my middle years. Determined to relax and forsaking the frenzy of youth for the repose of manhood, I thought I would live to be a hundred.

One day as I came home from work, my little girl, Janie, was waiting for me. After greeting me with a pixie smile and a peck on the cheek, she climbed up on my lap and asked, "Daddy, where is God?" I cringed at the question. Who had been worrying her with useless questions? I managed to reply rather sternly,

"Janie, there is no God. He simply doesn't exist. Now, don't get all concerned about old myths and fables. No intelligent person believes in God." She gave me a puzzled look, hopped down from my lap, and went outside. Oh, the tragedy of speaking authoritatively concerning things I knew nothing about.

To this day I don't know whom Janie believed, her father or her friends who told her of God. Janie died just a few months later in a car accident. Extremely bitter and resentful, I never overcame the loss. Janie's death changed everything for me. I could never blot out the memory of those beautiful brown eyes, that haunting smile. I tried to drown her loss in liquor, but drinking only made matters worse. My home life became empty and destitute. Soon my wife and family no longer mattered to me. We experienced separation, then a painful divorce. Once again life had dealt harshly with me.

This time I was left only with work and the pursuit of money. Driven by greed, I labored night and day, thinking only of myself. When business ventures began to fail, I started to worry. Tension built. Those awful headaches were with me constantly, and doctors failed to provide relief. My psychiatrist could not even solve my dilemma. Furious with the world and outraged at the cruelty of life, I was ready when death came. Since mortality had dealt brutally with me, I rejected the treasure of life.

If only I had known then what I know now! Surely God could have changed the course of my life. Oh, God! Why didn't I know? Why didn't you tell me? Surely I would have believed.

After heaven had reviewed my entire life, the innermost recess of my thoughts, the Lord of Hosts spoke. "Is there nothing in his life to indicate that he ever believed?"

The voice of one holding the Book of Life answered, "Nothing, Lord. This man did not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ."

I was sharply aware that on earth I had never believed. Why, I had not once seriously contemplated the existence of God or Jesus Christ. As I stood before the throne of God, I begged His forgiveness. Even though I had never believed on earth, I pleaded for his mercy. Surely God would not deny me this one last chance.

His voice echoed the phrase that the old street preacher had proclaimed. "It is appointed unto man once to die and after that the judgment."

All of my life I could have accepted, but now it was too late. Too late! Just before my sentence was pronounced, I cried out in my defense, "Wait, I never knew! How can You hold me accountable for something I never knew?"

Even as the words passed my lips, my thoughts returned to my earthly life. This time a different picture came to light. I saw my mother, reading her Bible and praying. Oh, how she prayed for me that I might believe in God and go to heaven. I didn't want to go anywhere; I was happy living on earth. "Don't you want eternal life?" she asked. I honestly didn't know. "Surely you want to live forever," she said, pleading with me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She told me about the Son of God who came to pay the price for my sin that I might gain eternal life. She read from her Bible, "'But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.'" All I had to do was believe. I thought about it, but somehow heaven was a long way off and I had my life to live.

"Maybe when I'm older, Mama, I'll believe, but not now." When Mama died, father blamed God and cursed Him for taking away his wife. My father's reaction became my reaction, and I too, charged God with the tragedies of life.
As I grew older, there were other encounters with God's Word. One day a teenage friend invited me to Sunday school. I only went because I had nothing else to do. I found that I gained attention by poking fun and causing the others to laugh. Sunday after Sunday I sat, never seriously listening to the lesson, never reflecting upon the truths of the Word.

I specifically remember the story of Jonah and the whale and how it didn't really make sense. How could the story of a man inside a whale's belly relate to me personally? The teacher referred to a parallel event in the New Testament... something about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, but I didn't care. It all seemed meaningless. Finally, when I was asked to leave, I vowed never to return. The message was clearly presented, but I didn't listen. I had the chance, why didn't I take advantage of it?

In high school I fell head over heels for a gorgeous cheerleader. She was really something! Every time I tried to date her, she said no, explaining that she wouldn't go out with me because I wasn't a Christian. She was always talking about Jesus and what He meant in her life, and I was even tempted to accept Jesus just to get a date with her. Somehow it never worked out. Though I could see how different she was from all the others, possessing something I clearly lacked, I was positive that Jesus wasn't the answer. She tried to tell me about God's Word, but I wouldn't listen. All I could think about was the Sunday School class and my angry reaction when I was asked to leave because I was disturbing the lessons. I didn't know what I wanted from life, but I was quite sure that it didn't come from the Bible. I developed a deep respect for her sincerity, but her genuine concern made me feel inferior. Since I wouldn't give in and she refused to change, further attempts to win her affections seemed futile. Finally I just gave up.

In college I encountered a campus club. Fanatics, I called their members, forever holding meetings and praying, always trying to win someone to the Lord. I ridiculed those who wanted to help me and made fun of those who prayed for my salvation. Just a bunch of Jesus freaks, I thought, intent on ruining everyone's good time and allowing religion to slice all the real fun out of life. Watching events unfold in heaven, I began to realize that although opportunities to learn about God repeatedly presented themselves, I just never took advantage of them.

My thoughts suddenly returned to Natalie, and I watched our final moments together the day she left me. She was crying. For the first time since she spoke those parting words, I actually considered what she said. With genuine drops of sorrow and shame trickling down her cheeks, she explained that over the weekend she had found Jesus. Can you imagine that? The preacher's kid had found the Lord! At a retreat a Christian friend had shared with her the sinful state of man, the immensity of God's love, and the completeness of Christ's work at Calvary. For the first time Natalie personalized her relationship to Christ and accepted Him as her Saviour and Lord. Actually conscious of the deplorable condition of her recent life, she apologized to me for past actions and begged me to accept Jesus. I was in shock. I couldn't believe my ears. Rejecting her words of invitation and scorning her tears as she pleaded forgiveness for our mutual sins, I responded coldly, deriding her new-found faith in Christ. As with a hunter's arrow, I pierced her delicate heart with my poisoned tongue. After an hour, unable to cope with my bitter spirit, she left and I would never see her again. Several weeks later, when she departed to join her parents in Africa, I blocked her out of my mind. My anger had destroyed the only meaning my life had known. I resented the fact that God had taken Natalie from me, and again I refused to believe. If only I had realized what spiritual riches were mine had I heeded Natalie's words.

Years passed. I found myself alone in a crowd of people. The preacher spoke of Jesus and heaven, but I wasn't listening. All I could think of was Janie, lying there in the ground, cold and lifeless. For some reason the singular warmth of my life, a loving and happy little girl, was no more. What was the preacher saying about parting on earth but joining hands in heaven? Why is it that ministers get so bold at funerals? You ask them to say a few kind words for a loved one and they preach a sermon. By the end of the service my wife was under conviction and shortly after the funeral she received Christ as her Saviour. I didn't take it that way. My bitterness of spirit increased, and I repeatedly cursed God.

After rejecting this opportunity, I turned to drinking. Over the next few months my wife's incredible patience with me and her fervent prayers on my behalf made me furious, so I started carousing with other women. Finally I left my wife and two boys. She raised them in church and taught them to love the Lord. All I could think of was Janie, and I still blamed God for her death. My heart was hardened, and once again I cursed God. To this day my wife has remained faithful to me and to God. If only I had heeded her prayers, I could look forward to eternal life with her and my boys in heaven. How I longed to be with them and to hold them. Love of self mixed with rancor and hatred had kept me from God.

That old preacher standing in the street was right. Only one life is available to us. If we don't accept then, judgment follows. I didn't know what was in store for me, but whatever it was, it couldn't be much worse than the personal hell I had put myself through on earth. Why did I personally resist and reject God? Why? That question will gnaw at my insides for all eternity. I will forever ponder the foolishness of my decision.

Now that I was assured of God's existence, I wanted to stay where He was. Whatever kept me from believing before was gone. Bitterness and hate had turned to awe. As I stood there, facing the final seat of judgment, the question, "Why?" flashed on and off like a neon sign in the dark night. Suddenly I had the answer. It wasn't my fault. It was God's. Yes, opportunity to accept Christ had come repeatedly, but God had failed to make His message real in my life. How was I to believe when almost everyone on earth mocked God? After all, it takes faith to believe. How can a man be expected to believe in God when that unknown quantity is so great? How could I have exercised enough faith to be certain that the Bible was God's Word? As I stood there, confident that my new-found logic would surely help my cause, His still, calm voice pierced the silence.

"You say that you are not accountable because of the tremendous faith involved, and yet you feel certain that, because I demand faith in that which you cannot see, you are absolved of all responsibility to My Word. In light of the evidence of My dealings with man in the past, does it not take greater faith to believe that there is no God?"

I had never thought of it that way. My inflated confidence suddenly burst like a giant balloon. I simply never realized that I had exhibited faith in rejecting God. Why were all those people willing to gamble eternity on the chance that God did not exist? Was their claim based on strong evidence? Has man seriously evaluated his position? When God presents His claims to the soul of man, why does man reject them? The world seems to speak of God whenever it is convenient. Obviously the God before whose throne I stood was not a commodity to be used by man whenever he felt the need. This God was God. I remember the movie I once saw on the Ten Commandments. Even in that Hollywood production the power of God was vigorously demonstrated. I never allowed God to enter and change my life. To be sure, I possessed an awareness of God, and like most people I acknowledged Him, if not with my praise, certainly with my anger, for bitterness and cursing at the name of God must argue that I knew deep down He was there.

For the first time I understood the real problem. God has given us His Word as a warning. He has revealed Himself on earth, but man has placed himself above God. Instead of believing what God says, we accept and reject what we want. By doing this we establish our own authority above the Word of God. He was telling me, in essence, that I thought more of myself and my own opinion than I did of Him. My service to self had become more important than my service to Him. As one of His creatures I should have obeyed and worshipped the Almighty Creator. Instead I rejected His revelation and refused to recognize God as God, but why? Why?

Once again that three letter word pierced my being. Like the needle on a sewing machine, it repeatedly pricked my conscience as I searched endlessly for the answer. What caused me to react as I did? Was it my father? My friends?

It suddenly occurred to me that the majority of people shared my view. Almost everybody maintained an in-between position, predicating the existence of God but never recognizing Him as God.

On earth it was comfortable to be in the majority, but now I realized that truth cannot be maintained by a majority vote. Truth is truth. God's Word is the true standard. Even if all the people in the world rejected His message, His Word would remain truth. The majority were wrong. They too had failed to uphold God's standard and believe His Holy Word. We had missed the mark and in so doing had condemned ourselves to destruction.

How I longed for a second chance. I wanted to tell the whole world of my new-found knowledge. I knew it was the same message that those few believers on earth were proclaiming, but the fervor with which I would declare it would renovate men's patterns and change the world. I burned within to do something for God. I ached inside for the privilege of proclaiming His truth, but it was too late. Too late!

I was already dead.

As a creature of God, I longed to serve my Creator. Wait a minute! That's it! Men refuse to serve God because they haven't recognized who He is. What was it they taught us in school? Something about evolution and the development of the earth, life and man by natural law without the need of a God. Maybe that's why I didn't accept God's Word on earth. If I remember correctly all of the scientific evidence was against God. It had been proved that all things had evolved. Science had outgrown the need for God.

As I mulled these things over in my mind, my courage to speak out against God returned. The fire of service had cooled, and once again I was ready to defend my case before God. Drawing upon every ounce of courage in my being, I pleaded my cause. "How could I be expected to believe, in light of the modern scientific discoveries that deny the existence of God? If indeed You created the heaven and the earth should there not be evidence to support that conclusion?"

Once again God thundered His answer to my objections. "These scientists," He began, "are simply men, but you continually place their authority over My authority. You accept their word over My Word and man's knowledge over God's knowledge. In light of what you now know, is that a reasonable conclusion?"

"No Lord," I replied. "But I didn't know all about your Word then. How was I to accept Your Word when all of the evidence was against it? Surely these men were only seeking the truth."

"By faith," He said, "they rejected Me. Having made up their minds, they set out to prove to the world that I did not exist. In their wisdom they became fools. They did not prove the Bible wrong, but attempted to demonstrate to the world the possibility that all things came into existence by themselves. However, is it reasonable to assume that the majesty of the universe came about by chance, or that the laws of science are nothing more than accidents? Can you really believe that order came from chaos and life came from non-living material?" As I pondered His words, God continued to ask questions. "Can man's intelligence have come from a one-celled ameba? Can sight have developed from those things that cannot see? These men have not proved Me wrong; they have simply denied my existence. Had they sought Me, they would have found the truth. Because they have not believed, they have condemned themselves, and the blood of those who have been deceived by their claims will be on their hands forever. One day each of these men who have denied My Word will face the judgment.

Thus I discovered that my final defense was a failure. Still I pleaded with God that He might show me the evidence that left man without excuse. "All things," He said, "were created and made by My beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Nothing was fashioned without Him. He was before all things, and by Him all things exist, for He created the heaven and the earth. The earth was hung in a vacuum called space and covered by darkness. On the first day the earth was empty and void, for there were no inhabitants and no atmosphere. The earth was unfinished and covered with water. Then My Son called light into existence, making it to shine on the earth and thus creating a system of light and darkness. By the end of the first day of creation, He had established space, matter, and time.

"Does man have an explanation for the origin of space? Can he explain the existence of matter? Does he understand the establishment of time? Does man, who was not present and could not observe these things come into being, really think that he can explain their origin? Tell me, if you can answer, where was man when the foundations of the earth were laid?"

I didn't know. I couldn't answer. Certainly these things had to have an origin. They couldn't have existed forever. I knew that man had failed to explain their beginnings or prove God wrong. Man may not have chosen to believe the revelation God gave in Genesis, but he could not disprove it. Only a first-hand observer, a reliable witness, could do that. God was telling me that He alone was there.

As I pondered these things, God continued to speak. "Where were you," He said, "when the firmament was made? By placing an expanse between the waters remaining above and below on the earth, the atmosphere was formed. Now preparations were completed for setting life upon the earth. Dry land appeared out of the waters, and out of dry land came plant life, fruit trees yielding fruit, grass bearing grass and the herb yielding seed. All of these things were called into existence by the powerful Word of God, created by and for My Son, Jesus Christ."

As I listened to the description presented by God, I could almost see His creation in action. In my mind I could picture the heavens being spread out as God diffused that light source and created the sun, the moon, and stars. All of these things, His handiwork, were for signs and for seasons, for days and for years, in order that man could tell time. He established a system which consisted of days, months, and years. It was an amazing and beautiful sight to picture the stars that spun off as He spread out the heavens with His fingers. The light from the distant stars became visible on the earth, for He had not only created the stars, but controlled their light so that it was now visible upon the earth. I had never thought of the origin of the universe in that way, and yet how else does one explain the magnificent universe... all of the galaxies, so different, so vast? Or the total movement of the universe, so exact! I could see now that it was foolish to believe that these things came about by chance. For the first time I realized that the heavens were established to declare His handiwork, to show His glory and to demonstrate His power.

God continued, "What of the origin of the solar system? Can you explain the earth and all of the planets revolving around the sun, or the moons revolving around their planets? How did the solar system come into being without any help?" I could not answer. I guess I really never accepted the idea that all of these things evolved. It was difficult to believe that the universe, the solar system, and the beautiful movements of the planets around the sun were just accidents of nature. I found myself asking the same question. How could all of these things come about by themselves? I stood there amazed as God demanded, "Could it have evolved, condensed from a dust cloud?

"Could a swirling mass of particles form the mighty solar system? How could the earth capture a moon? How can eleven of the thirty-two moons in the solar system revolve backwards in their orbits? How does one explain the fact that two of the planets orbit the sun differently from the others?"

For the first time I began to realize that man lacked the answers to these questions. The evidence was there, revealed in His Word. How else could one explain the magnificent solar system and the grandeur of the universe? It must have been planned. It must have had a Creator.

Then God turned His attention to the origin of animal life upon the earth. "Were you there," He said, "when I spoke and the waters brought forth life? Not simple microscopic life, but life of sea creatures, the great whales and the mighty fish of the sea. Did you see My Son as He called the birds into existence? How does man explain the origin of flight?"

I guess I had never thought about flight. Truly God had planned it. Setting things in motion by His mighty power, He designed the birds to fly. Why, every bird that flies in the heavens is simply a tribute to the power of the Creator. It would have been difficult to explain flight having developed all by itself, for a bird is designed to fly. As man walks on the earth and gazes on the peaceful sea gull, the great eagle, or the giant condor, how can he reject these majestic tributes to the Creator? I was sure that I could not answer. Drawing my attention to the sea, God spoke of the mighty mammals that fill the seas, creatures quite unrelated to the other sea creatures.

"Look at the whale, the dolphin, and the seal," He said. "These are My warm-blooded, air breathing mammals. If evolution were true, they would have had to come from land animals, which would have evolved in turn from sea creatures. Is such a conclusion reasonable? Where is the evidence of this evolutionary process? Produce it if you can?" I could not. I realized that transitional forms were not available.

Then God reminded me of that great law of biology, the law of biogenesis, which states that life produces life, that life reproduces after its kind. There are no observed exceptions to that law: all life reproduces after its kind. Why didn't I see that when I was alive on earth? God had created life in the beginning, formed to reproduce after its own kind. It was magnificent to picture in my mind all the varieties God had made. His imagination generated the mighty elephant, the kangaroo, the giraffe, the roaring lion, the hippopotamus, the rhinoceros with his horn, the horse with his power, the speed of the cheetah and the giant whale. Even the mighty reptiles were made by God in the beginning, formed to live in a perfect environment that He had prepared. As I pondered these things, God spoke of man.

"I created man," He said, "from the dust of the earth. I formed him and made him, breathing into his nostrils the breath of life. That first man, Adam, became a living soul. He was perfect in the day that he was created. Man has ridiculed this account of his origin, yet that is how I chose to do it. Can you deny it? Does man have any evidence to the contrary?"

As I stood before God and heard Him declare these things, the scientific arguments of man lost all meaning. I remember how man used to poke fun at the idea of Eve being created from Adam's rib, taken from his side. My professor used to say that if that were true, man would have one less rib than woman, and everybody knows that isn't the case. "Obviously," he scoffed, "the Bible is incorrect." Yet as God spoke of Eve's being made from Adam's rib, I realized that Adam did have one less rib than Eve, but their children possessed the proper number of ribs. When a father who has lost two fingers on his hand begets children, are they not born with the proper number of fingers? Why does man in his fallacious reasoning continue in his struggle to deny God? The great Creator, from the rib of Adam fashioning the perfect female, established His creatures in a garden of beauty and perfection, there to remain forever and ever.

For a moment God was silent. As I looked up, He spoke again of His created world. "As I gazed upon My world," He said, "I beheld everything I had made and I saw that it was very good. There was no sin, no evil, a perfect man, a perfect woman, and an unblemished world.

As Adam first beheld Eve and knew she was his for a lifetime, one man and one woman together, marriage was established. In Adam's own words, `She is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.'"

As God spoke, I caught a glimpse of that perfect pair, the parents of all the earth. It's hard to imagine the love they must have had for each other and for the One who made them.

"But what happened to that perfect world?" I asked. "Why did it change? Why is the world so different now? Why doesn't man believe God?"

With a serene stillness in His voice, as a father speaks of a loved one who is gone forever, God spoke of Satan, the powerful but fallen angel He had made prefect. Satan, the anointed cherub that covered, the prince of the power of the air, fell after the sixth day of creation, bringing evil into the ideal world that God had made. "He denied that he was a created being; thinking himself equal to Me, he failed. Seeing Eve alone in the garden he told her to eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, that she and Adam might become as gods. Eve looked at that tree, desired the fruit, and took it. In doing so, she died. For I had spoken that in the day they ate of that tree, they would surely die. Eve took the fruit and gave it to Adam, who also ate of it and died. Though not perishing instantaneously, the two perfect beings, created to live forever in perfect harmony and fellowship with Me, began to die physically. On the day they ate of that fruit they separated themselves from Me because of disobedience."

How tragic! The world that God had made was created as an eternal world. Nothing new would ever be added, for it was perfect and entire, lacking nothing. When God rested the seventh day of creation, He had finished His work of creating and making. The total amount of mass and energy would always remain the same. There was a balance, an equilibrium. Now that Adam and Eve had partaken of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, a change had appeared in the world that God had made. All of creation was affected. The universe, the earth, even life on the earth was now different. It was not a sudden difference, but still a change. For now the universe, like a giant clock, was running in a downward direction. Ultimately the light from the stars would no longer shine and the sun would burn out. Things would have a tendency to die out, to degenerate. Adam and Eve, likewise created to live forever, began to die. I could hardly keep from crying as I realized the defeat of our first parents. All of Adam and Eve's children were born into a world cursed by disobedience. The animals also began to produce offspring that were less perfect. Animals were different because of a random change in their genetic structure, mutations. I had always wondered why mutations seemed to go in the wrong direction for evolution, why all the changes were for the worse. It was hard to understand how scientists who believed in the natural process of evolution could explain new forms of life coming upon the earth by a series of mutations. Especially when the mutations or changes, overwhelmingly harmful or lethal, totally failed to produce anything new. I had accepted the word of evolutionists because, after all, they were the authorities. Since I had never really studied the matter, I simply took their word for it, even though I didn't understand. I thought they must be correct.

Now I could see that I had believed man over God. In this new world, a world cursed by sin, animals produced unfit offspring. Survival of the fittest came into affect. Those animals that were fit survived. Those that were unfit died out. The sons of Adam and Eve, along with their daughters, married, multiplied and filled the earth. The first son, Cain, killed his brother. What a drastic change from the beauty and perfection of the Garden of Eden.

As God revealed these things, I could sense His love for the world that He had made. For the first time I realized that He alone had the right to control the world. In the moments that followed, His words only reinforced my new-found conviction. "I gave Eve a promise that one day I would send My Son to atone for the sins of mankind. One day He would die as a substitute for the sins of man."

As God continued to describe the beginning, a beginning already recorded in the book of Genesis, I realized again the foolishness of my decision on earth. I had chosen to follow man, rejecting the Word of God. Somehow on earth the Bible lacked authority, and I listened to those people who denied it. Here, as God presented what took place in the beginning, I knew it was true. If only I had realized it earlier, I would never have had to face the judgment. The evidence was conclusive.

Then God spoke of His servant Noah, who built an ark to escape the great judgment of the Flood. "Evil was rampant throughout the world I had created. When you consider that the first son of Adam and Eve was a murderer, what do you think the rest of them were like?" I could picture them cursing God, pursuing violence, violating the moral code, and in every possible sense defying the One who had made them. This grieved God, and He was sorry He had ever created man. Looking down upon the millions of inhabitants that filled the earth, He said, "I found only one righteous man. That man was Noah. I told Noah to build a boat and to take into that boat the animals necessary to preserve life upon the earth, male and female. As My servant Noah built the ark, people ridiculed him, yet he faithfully built it as I had instructed him." I could picture Noah taking his stand for God. Why couldn't I have been like that? Why had I followed in the footsteps of those who mocked and cursed God?

God told me that when Noah finished the ark, he took all of the animals inside. What a tremendous structure, much like a giant railroad boxcar over 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high. There was plenty of room for all the animals, with an entire deck available for Noah and his family. There was even space left for other people, but they refused to take sanctuary in the ark. "Then after years of warning, I caused the Great Flood to cover the whole world with water in order to wipe man off the face of the earth. As the fountains of the deep were opened, many of the animals living in the sea were carried on to the land and buried in sediments. As the water continued to rise out of the oceans, covering the land mass, the amphibious animals were buried next and then those that lived farther inland. Finally as the water reached the plains, it inundated all of the great plains animals. Man and the more mobile animals, which sought higher ground, were buried last. The ark floated on top of the waters which destroyed animals and plants on the face of the earth.

"When Noah stepped off the ark, the world was different. It was a desert, barren land. In sedimentary rocks the remains of animals and plants could be found as evidence of the destruction that had just taken place and a constant reminder that sin, evil and the violence of the corrupt world had been judged. This should have been a reminder to everyone of that great cataclysm in the past, yet man mistook these for evidences of evolution. Is that a reasonable conclusion?"

Only now I realized that the Flood was real. As God described it, I knew that the gaps in the fossil record existed because there were no transitional forms, no in-between stages to support the idea of evolution. Fossils were not to be used as evidence that life had evolved, but that they were buried rapidly in water-deposited strata, clearly indicating the judgment of the world by water in the days of Noah. Again, God's power and His Word were displayed all around the world in which I had lived.

I had been misled.

For the God I stood before is a God who clearly planned the beginning and knows what the end will be. "I established a covenant with Noah," He said. "and placed My rainbow in the sky." I can remember looking at rainbows, amazed at the beauty and splendor of the great sight, but I failed to recognize it as a sign of judgment in the past, placed there by God to remind man that He would never again destroy the earth by water. I guess I had never really thought about the reason it was there and had never really asked the question, why. How foolish I was to accept the concept of evolution without evaluating the evidence of the Great Flood. This judgment in the past should have warned of the greater judgment to come. I just didn't heed the warning.

I could feel my knees getting weak, for the mounting evidence clearly demonstrated God's full control at all times. Although man had chosen to reject Him, His offer of eternal life was still available to those who would believe.

Again God spoke to me. "I gave Moses the Ten Commandments that man might have laws, and I established the system of human government whereby man might govern himself with My law." In reality I knew that God was responsible for all things, but man chose to worship the things rather than the God who gave them to him. Man had chosen to follow his own will and reject the will of God, thus violating His laws. I could see in His dealings with the nation Israel, especially with Pharaoh in Egypt when He brought the plagues on the people, the power of God was displayed for all the world to see. The events in that film The Ten Commandments which I remembered so vividly, actually did take place. God was still in full control of all the world.

God did not forget his promise to Eve, for when the time was right, God sent His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. He told me again about the One who created the heavens and the earth but laid aside His Godly power. Born as a man and fashioned as a man, He was still God. He lived a sinless life, proclaiming the power and message of God in order to fulfill His purpose, which was to die on the cross as a substitute for man's sin. Five hundred people witnessed the fact that He rose from the dead. After His resurrection He was seen by His disciples, men on the road and multitudes who recognized and knew that He was the Lord Jesus Christ. The Roman soldiers, in their day, the best in all the land, could not explain where Jesus had gone, for the tomb in which He had been buried was empty. They could not provide His body to clear themselves of the disgrace of an empty, guarded tomb. The official seal of Caesar upon the great stone had been broken. The body they had been guarding was missing. Jesus had risen from the grave. This same Jesus, seen by His disciples ascending into heaven, promised to prepare a place for those who believed.

It was all recorded. I can remember hearing it time and time again every Easter, and I can recall every Christmas celebrating the birth of the Son of God. Somehow I never really associated the true meaning of those events with the reality of the need in my life. These were just stories, good religious festivals, times to go to church. Then at church they always talked of sin and judgment, things I didn't want to hear about. Had I listened carefully, I would have heard the truth I needed to change my life. Had I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour, I could have escaped the awful judgment. Clearly the Word of God presented the message. All I needed was to accept that the Lord Jesus Christ died for me and ask God to forgive me. Think of it! The Son of God, Creator of the universe, died in my behalf that I might have eternal life. It was there for me... free, and I turned it down! The message was present in my own house from my earliest days, for as long as I can remember I have owned a Bible, that best selling book that everyone buys but hardly anyone reads. God had clearly revealed the plan of salvation in the Bible that I might believe.

I knew that God had dealt fairly with me, both in my life and now in death. My entire defense was futile, for God had shown me the folly of my ways. In following the world's wisdom I demonstrated my foolishness, for I could not explain the existence of God, and I could never dispute the manifold evidences of His existence and power. I had denied His Word. He had sought me, invited me to come and placed the matter before me, but I had stubbornly rejected God. Because of my rejection, I was without excuse. Whatever my fate, God was just, for I had chosen to live without Him all my life, and that decision determined my destiny. My loving Creator had now become my forbidding Judge.

God's evidence was overwhelming. I had never realized that God had indelibly stamped His signature on all things. Truly, the man who rejects God is without excuse. I realized that my defense was broken; His truth would prevail.

Prepared for the final Judgment, I was not surprised by the sentence, for I had condemned myself already. The angel read the painful truth that prepared the way for my eternal doom. "Those whose names are not recorded in the Book of Life shall be cast into the lake of fire forever."

Physical torment and pain were to be my fate forever. The physical suffering I could stand, but the mental anguish would torture me unbearably. On earth I chose to ignore God, pretending that He didn't exist. I didn't want God to interfere in my life. Now God was giving me exactly what I had desired, an eternity without God. His name would not be mentioned, His salvation would not again be offered, and throughout eternity He would not seek to have fellowship with me. I was cut off forever!

Too late, I realized I could never be happy without Him. My Maker and Friend, potential Saviour and Lord would now be separated from me throughout eternity.

It was no comfort to know that billions of people had made the same tragic mistake and were condemned to a dismal eternity in everlasting fire.

If only others could be warned before death comes. Perhaps they could escape by accepting God and believing on His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, who shed His precious blood for their sins that they may gain eternal life in heaven with their heavenly Father.

I wouldn't want anyone to face the judgment unprepared. Man wasn't made to meet the Almighty unprepared, for puny man is no match for God. Truly, God is in complete control of all things, and His Word is binding on all men. His Word is truth.

As I left the throne of God, I felt a deep sense of loss. Even in the judgment there was security in His presence. As I entered the dark corridor that led to my final home, I began to feel the reality of my fate. Burdened again with guilt, my soul was filled with despair. The farther away from God I walked, the greater my despondency. I began to realize the full impact of being separated from God, and feel the weight of this burden press upon my shoulders. My head pounded with that ever-present question. Why had I rejected God? Why?

There on the threshold of the bottomless pit, the horrid entrance to the depths of hell, I understood the totality of my demise. All my life I had served myself. Now, only that was left... myself. I was truly alone.

How I longed to look into God's face one last time, but I knew that would never again be possible. My life and my death were over.

Now I faced eternity alone.

That, was the final judgment and I was without excuse.

"For the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse."
Romans 1:20